… while staying strong
Stay at home mandate
And yeah we have new covid restrictions with temp taking even for us before work and anyone near us… also no one except workers allowed in building.
I need the stay at home order letter which I will get – I am shipping cremated remains currently
I be back later ✌️ I tell you better then
Well they didn’t tell us anything … but we have a meeting at 10am tmrw morning to go over what’s going on.
So we will see. If was bad, I think they would have said something right away?
One cemetery is doing 10 people for 15 minutes and that 10 people is per car – the moment the head count is 10 – no other people allowed in for that service period!
Anyway… a lot of deaths.
Hurry up please!!
Dying over here!! 🤨
Anyway… work is good. I am taking training modules 🤨 💤
Boring AF!!!
Sometimes it will let me just test and opt out if I pass test and I always pass 😘✌️
But sometimes it will make me watch the entire 30 page module 🤨
Ok that doesn’t help me ANY!!! 🤨 But whatever – it will come 😮😳
I am WAY more hands on… if I buy something … I do not head straight for the assembly directions … I first see, if I can do it with my brilliant self lol 😄😄✌️
Sometimes that works – sometimes it does not. Lol … I’m pretty good with it though – I don’t really need instructions much… just show me.
Show me what you do and I will catch it.
Also… sitting me in front of a computer watching modules of what I be doing and what I need to have and blah blah blah
Eventually I start to hear this:
Dude!!! And then I get fidgety, cause I have to get up and step away from it!!
That is not training 🤨 what is this ridiculousness?
That is so not training… 🤨
Whatever
I have a lot on my mind. Little overloaded but that’s ok… I got it.
It’s just my mind is swirling with thoughts.
I need an escape.
When I had cancer – I was still friends with country boy.
I used to get worried and stressed and he would always say “alright that’s it, be ready I’m picking you up” 😮
Well I would be curious lol… and he would pick me up in his truck and he usually take me way up into the mountains ❤️
One time, he taught me how to shoot. I do ok… but that bad arm makes it hard with rifle or shotgun. I prefer smaller
We shot Pepsi cans lol… I am not a gun person, but he helped me with something – hence the shooting. I didn’t know he was doing that – was a story I told him from a long time ago… he was very thoughtful to do that.
Anyway, point is … he always used to take my mind away. I liked when he did that… and he always did things that normal people just wouldn’t think of to do.
One time he took me boating and we just laughed the entire time!! We had fun.
During those moments – I forgot all about the cancer, my deaths, my ex – everything … I got to escape
He always did stuff and I thought didn’t expect in return, but he did. So whatever – bye 👋
But it was a sweet escape… I wish for an escape now.
I just actually do not have time for an escape lol ✌️🤨
I made a comment today at work… we were chatting (my arranger) and I said “you kinda have to literally have no life to have this job” lol
And she said “yup pretty much” lol
😳😮 I still want a life lol eventually
I’m just a little bit nervous about having a life 😮 ON MANY LEVELS 😮😮😮
Here I get to hide and stay away from life – which I kinda like ??? Ish.
I miss life.
I still love life ❤️ I enjoy my life and my people ❤️ I have a full life with all that going on
But I miss life though
It is a little overwhelming and kinda scary though. I’m a little overwhelmed by the thought of it.
I am nervous to ? Come back to life. I’ll get there eventually-ish lol ✌️😘
I like that covid kinda let me stay hidden? I like that I had that ability ❤️ I am lucky to work and have that
I am a little intimidated by life? Lol … covid has let me not have to have one, and it be perfectly normal – it let me heal – it gave me time
I have a lot of change to go 😳😮 omg 🤨 fricken life
I am only at my beginning 😮 oh no!! Lol dammit
Way too old for this lol 😘✌️
So that’s about it for tonight.
I will let you know what happens tmrw when I learn. ✌️
Gnite 🌙💤😴❤️
Information will be coming to us at 11am
Something about Covid and OSHA
I don’t know yet 😮
I be back after I know more
So I’m thinking… I already have stable, and safe… and I built this… and I do love the coworkers and the job…
I stay and I only grow from there?? Plus right now I really love the people there ❤️ so I’m excited being with them
I have patience and then I also have that loyalty thing… so I am not sure if I am blinded or not?
I feel is a good thing for me to stay and acquire these office manager skills then I can go higher.
If I have the skills to back up my work or to fall back on… I will have strength
The other one is instant big money, federal job, better work life balance (because currently, I have none – even on my days off they texting me lol) which is fine cause I do not have a life so whatever lol 😄✌️
There is a pension for a federal job…
But I could always just learn my skills – stay put – learn… then go higher
I want to have a base… so as I build my tower of life… it is strong… so I want it strong and stable
But then… closer, more money, federal, better work life balance 🤨🤨🤨 what is my fricken problem
So how am I supposed to decide that? I feel like the other one is risky because is unknown 😮😳
I might not totally trust that it would be good?? It is the government (sorry but yeah)
I am hesitant to throw away what I build – for unknown??
But then hate to turn down the benefits of the unknown
I am thinking I will stay with what I have for this moment
I am thinking that would be best??
I think I need the skills I can get in this position ???
I am too afraid of the risk. I want a strong solid base. I have built my base
So I am just thinking 🤨 … and my phone earlier said “how much time do you spend thinking?” 🤨
I spend a lot of time thinking because I don’t want to get anything wrong!!!
So whatever. I don’t know what to do
It is brown and yellow everywhere … all the leaves are falling and it’s becoming that bare empty winterness… bleh
I just prefer spring and summer. Blooming and Alive? Warm, sweet, sunny
But here we are … and I can’t have that yet. All in due time right?
“Life” ?
I want to build my own life back. I don’t want to mess up. I want to make the right choices and I want to have what I want…
I want to be strong and maybe a little powerful so I won’t ever fear or need again? And I am better off without him in my life – I don’t ever want him with any power to crush me ever again – so yeah I wanna be powerful – yeah I’m gonna reach for how I build my character
So I have to think of the money too. I just do. I have to.
Bleh.
I really want those skills. I am sitting in a really good position currently … I worked hard for this…
I did really work at all for this other one ?? I took all their tests they asked me to do …
I also had to take an online assessment test 😄
I took that online assessment test when, at my actual job, I was fed up with their crap lol
So some of the questions were : are you the type to go above and beyond the job? Do you give more than 100%? Etc etc – that kind of questioning 🤨
I was a little fed up from my actual job and I was like – nope not me – just do my job and that it lol …
So I was a little surprised ?? Little disbelief when they contact me – but ok…
And I don’t know what I was thinking because all my records and backgrounds always pass – but take a long time due to living in so many states 🤨 can’t we just keep the file handy? Can I just get a copy?
With today’s technology? How does that still take for fricken ever???
Well anyway.. I forgot all about everything and work was just exploding 😮 and then I got everything I wanted 😮
Then today that other one like congratulations we would like to offer you the position 😮 I have 3 days to decide 🤨
I just do all this only since last year ❤️
Before that I was sick and before that I was only a mom.
Once they gave me all clear after surgery… I worked very hard. Stayed quiet. Did my thing
Covid helped to place me in my position … I had no idea the events would turn out the way they did!!
I went to funeral home because I thought I needed it? I thought would be perfect cause I needed to heal too – I wrote them a letter telling them they needed me lol 😄✌️ they did 😘
But I had no idea – covid would hit the way it did – I didn’t see it coming like that. I just didn’t have my eyes open.
It shut everything down. I was by myself. But also working … in a job I knew nothing about yet cause I had just started 😮
Covid just allowed the job to slowly absorb me into it. It’s been wild. But covid allowed me to learn that, and then to show I knew what doing.
So. Meh. Good and bad. I built that though – through covid so I do love it.
And I will get amazing skills there
The work/life balance SUCKS ass!! 🤨😠 there is no balance there – they own you!! They can not function without you 🤨 not one day.
But I suppose everything has a downside?
Alright well its late – I work tmrw
Good night 💋❤️
So… let me run something by you… cause um I don’t know what to do ?? Again 🤨 crap
Stop giving me choices all over the place lol
So I went and ya know applied for things before… before I got the full time.
Today I heard from one of them and I got the job if I want it 😳😮
The thing is… it’s listed at 4 months but most likely keep going…
Had HIGH pay AND benefits …
And here’s the kicker… it’s a federal job… so do I want it? It is with USPS. So??
I am not home – I am doing distance things for myself that I have to do!! But that just came on my phone now… they ran checks on me, I passed
So what I do?
Do I wait on that and stick here to get skilled? Or do I go federal? Make good money? And have a pension later?
🤨 fricken decisions – stop 2020!!!
The federal job is closer to me and also rural
Ha! I am sitting in my car right now with my door open and my leg on it… some little bird came and landed on my knee 😳😮lol well hello 👋
He wasn’t even scared of me?
Whatever
So what do I do?? I always have to think about everything!!!
So yeah – I wanna fly real high. So do I want to take a chance? So I feel lucky ? 😳😮🍀
What would you do? Do I hold my breath and jump or stay safe? Omg I am not a risky person but I feel little risky?
I’m just not sure I will have to think 🤨
What will take me higher? Cause I want that.
One other thing… just out of curiosity- do you yearn ??
For whatever – I don’t care, everyone has what they love – but do you yearn for something?
You must right? Is there something you really truly want?
If we each got to pick one thing we really truly want – what do you want? What do you yearn for? Anything?
Like honestly what first pops in your head when I ask you what you want? If you could have one wish granted 😮 what would that be??!!
Random – but I’m curious. ✌️😘
I got asked if I “yearn” …
All my conversations with people can sound weird, but they are actually completely normal in context lol ✌️
PS!!!! When I go to google anything about yearning 🤨 … it gives me back all things about love 🤨… like ALL of it!!!!!!!
Songs 10-1 … this is just part 2 ✌️ I am late and behind with posting – very badly – better late than never right? It’s always fun anyway ❤️😘✌️
Brought to you by:
The List Tinkerers https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2020/12/01/the-list-tinkerers/ — Read on aguycalledbloke.blog/2020/12/01/the-list-tinkerers/
These are songs from the past 20 years that were crazy and/or weird ✌️😘 … this is part 2… part 1 is somewhere in my posts – good luck to find lol ✌️😄 (I wish they would let me organize my posts – that does drive me nuts WP won’t let me just do that how I want it!)
But here is my part 2 list for crazy weird songs of past 20 years …
8.) 🤨🤨
(You also have to understand – some of these I love ❤️)
(SNL ruined this song for me lol… every single time I hear this song – I see the SNL skit – which I do not like, so I will not post lol – it bothers me too much) ✌️
2.) www.youtube.com/watch ❤️
I do love many of these – and some I can’t stand lol …but these are the weird and crazy songs from past 20 years …
They are all endearing ❤️ (except number 1 – that one annoys me lol) ✌️
Ok so that’s it ❤️😘✌️
Off to be adulting with my life 🤨😝 😄✌️
Yesterday… the new neighbors stopped by with Turkey soup 😮 they just handed to me when I got home
That was mega sweet right? Yes – nice hot meal after work, I do not have to cook ? sure yes thank you – that was very sweet❤️
I made a comment about their house – is decorated for Christmas
They made a comment back how much they love decorating for Christmas and would do my gate and home
I just laughed cause ??
They ask me if I decorate?
I haven’t . Not like that …
I haven’t in a very long time actually. ☹️
I would be happy but that might also make me cry? I was not going to decorate this year
I am not really there yet?? yeah that could make me cry? Not sure ?? Most likely ✌️
I don’t know these neighbors
They new… so now I know literally all my neighbors lol … that is the country Vs the city – which is different.
And everyone always say to me – we never see you. I am a quiet one. I work and quarantine 🤷♀️
It’s funny … in a business setting – I am extremely confident and clear. ❤️
But for my own self?? I am confident, but more shy and cautious ?? Quiet?
Anyway – I just notice that –
I am very confident in work
But I am not confident in having people come in close to me. I am little slower more cautious and observant ??
Sorta … sometimes there are people who hit like whirlwind with me?? Like my guy friend from work ❤️ he just likes to make me laugh ❤️ that’s gotta be what it is ???… I enjoy him because he makes me laugh so much and I think that encourages him to try to make me laugh ?? I do not know? But it seems that way – cause he is hilarious! And I love his smile! I enjoy life more when he is around (I enjoy life always, but he brightens the days)
I am never around to know the neighbors so ?? They are extending to know me lol
The others are very kind and loving too lol … I am lucky 🍀❤️ I survive from kindness ❤️ … and I work hard but kindness has a hand. ✌️❤️ – that also brightens my days
They are very sweet. ❤️
Ok I have to run I be back ✌️
Lol… so yeah… Today was weird… first “I” was scheduled to work it as always…
But then no someone else was going to… so ???
But then they want me training with them… so ok trisha come in do a half day…
So I went in thinking training for half day but trained for little bit sorta… and then they took half day lol
So then tmrw leaves only 3 of them…
The one at my location has 2 appts tmrw (they are virtual – we are doing arrangements virtually at this time)
No walk ins by appt only, please call first due to covid… so that’s what we doing at this moment.
So she be only one in office … she will have to forward phones to one of the other 2.
She will put sign up on door saying please call and the number for assistance
If is something urgent the other girls can reach her by cell
She is not happy lol… she asked “how come you are not going to be there?”
Before I even told her anything I checked with my boss… I said to my boss “are you sure you do not need or want me tmrw cause here’s what you got”
And was told … “you need a rest… take time off” lol
So anyway, I told my girl I wouldn’t be in cause I have not had a day off
And she just says “great”
She kinda complained a little – but she can handle it. It will be ok. It has not been bad. It is smoother now
Wait til she sees what I did to my desk lol 😘✌️😄
I don’t like what is up on the shelf … I just wanted some prettiness …
But then I had to put an important box up there 🤨… and I didn’t want the hole punch on my desk so that’s up there too… I just found the other stuff around the funeral home lol ✌️😄… and we always have candles 🕯❤️
They make a big deal about people’s desks because they say it shows who they are – this does not show me – this is temporary lol … I don’t know what decorations I want yet – these are fine and homey for now ❤️
But I changed the configuration all around. And the other girl today moved all the electronics with my computer
This is what I ended up with for right now. I like it. ❤️
Anyway… so… I have tomorrow off ❤️😮 lol … I have a MONDAY off!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ woo hoo!! I get to skip right on over that!!! ❤️
No Monday for me ❤️❤️❤️
Yay!
Ok I have to change and I will be back 😘❤️❤️
But you need to watch these cause these are awesome ❤️:
That one is from Halloween 🎃
Check this one out for Christmas :
I love when someone does that ❤️ and when they put the lights and the music together – I really love that ❤️❤️❤️
I am going to change and come back to read ❤️✌️
Well… I was not supposed to work the whole day lol… but whatever – is “hours”
So here I am. Is going really well. Knock on wood.
I do still feel nervous but I am still new. Still learning so it be good. I am excited.
Oh yeah… during the day… I love those car lights… but at night while driving – I do not like them on. It is too distracting on highway.
First… there is pretty light… my whole interior softly lit… I have it on blue of course because I am also a matcher lol … I like my things to match lol ✌️😘
I can see everything, and that’s distracting while I am driving … and not only that…
But people can see me – in the dark… so no… I do not like it at night.
But daytime is awesome ❤️✌️ I will enjoy them during the day.
I love how pretty they are!
Alright so what day am I on? Sunday? Ok … I have tomorrow and Tuesday off!! Pretty sure!! Cause I don’t remember when I last had off?
I keep having to remember what day it is lol ✌️
Alright well let me get back to work 😘✌️
Ooooohhh ok wait … if you are easily offended … be done with this post and do not read any further … lol … I laugh but I am serious …
Ok so someone sent me this and I just find it funny…
So if this were to actually explain how each religion people are…
Then what am I?? Lol
I would not be Catholic because I do not like what that says lol
Instead … I believe I would be Protestant lol … I have to be!! Omg … when I read that one – I thought “yup that’s me” – currently anyway ✌️
But according to this …I could also be Taoism (I don’t know much about that) but shit happens so they are right lol – or an atheist lol 😄😄 – cause I also don’t believe shit lol
That’s too funny – those are very funny to me.
Alright I have to work ✌️😘
Learning Life 