Ok… repeat

Just me again 🫤🤨 omg

I am exhausted already and just got here few hours ago!! Omg

Ok well … I survived last week … oh dear god

My boss gonna come hopefully soon?? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I am little stressed – I am not getting my own work done at all

And if you tell me – just do my own work… and then what?? let a family suffer ?? So no… not an option

Ugh I like being alone but not in winter!!!! With thousands of things happening!!

So I will need prayers today – make them kinda big 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Thank you 😘

When weekend comes

Well Friday… so kids get there and we having dinner … when there is huge commotion outside – sirens 🚨 horns 🎉…

So I was like what in the world is going on?? Maybe I should be watching news (but I just can’t – only teeny tiny snip it’s I can do- otherwise no)

Anyway… guess who was coming down the street with all the fire trucks 🚒 😮😮❤️❤️❤️ …

Yeah it was Santa 👏👏👏 🎅 ❤️❤️❤️

Not that I believe there is a Santa – but is more of Christmas magic to me … people don’t remember it anymore but whatever


Plus is the spirit – also not that I have much – but that is because over here we completely take holidays and ruin them with commercialization and is more about what can get than what do for the world or goodwill towards men.

But I do always love a little bit of exciting Christmas magic ❤️👏

Anyway – we all ran outside and watched – was whole parade right by my house ❤️❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏 omg I never have to go to another parade ❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏 it comes to me!! right by my house!!! The perks of living in downtown of tiny town 👏

My oldest said “oh thank god we got here when we did …or we would be behind that” lol 😄😄

But that was cool ❤️ and great way to end crazy week. Ahhhhhh


Then YouTube put together this awesome mix of literally all my favorite songs from 2022 😮😮😮… it did not do that last year 😮😮❤️❤️❤️

Fricken all my favorites from whole year 😮❤️ did not fuck it up – it knew everything I loved 😮😮

Lol so YouTube knows me now lol ❤️ I listen to alot of music that way but it knew which ones I love the most 😮😮😮 but that also could be because if I like it – it will go on repeat couple times lol 😘 so not that shocking …

But I do love the list ❤️❤️❤️❤️

The list is currently on repeat lol 😘👏😄❤️

And then Doby … since Thanksgiving – I had been putting special meal enhancers lol … in his food … our left overs of turkey or gravy … well I ran out maybe 3 days ago…

So now he’s all picky and doesn’t like the regular wet dog food I add to the dry … he’s like “meh nah” 🤨

So today I try maybe little tuna … nope 👎

He make my kitchen a mess with food pebbles if he doesn’t like it 🤨😄 great … I made him picky 😮 whatever ❤️ he’s my baby

I made him some gravy tonight and it’s back on lol … if I add gravy …this man eats his food no problem, no mess, no complaints lol 🤷‍♀️😄

Whatever – I can do gravy for him ❤️ I am picky too lol 😘

I need to buy him a winter jacket and boots lol … winter jacket to keep warm and he needs boots … plus is always hilarious to watch them in shoes lol ❤️❤️ life’s little laughter moments ❤️❤️


But he does need them… he hates cold and rain too 😮❤️… if he has to go and I open door – he sees it’s cold and pouring and won’t wanna go lol … no dude you going lol … go potty!!! Not going in my house!!

So yeah he needs a coat and jacket ❤️ I will post him when we do that lol

He is also a little prissy when having to step in water or be rained on lol … ahhh my Doberman ❤️😄🙄 … it is the owners … kinda however you are they will be lol 😮😄🤟

With the exception that he has WAY more energy than I do!! Omg 😳

It was cold and rainy literally all day long – one of those days with nothing but nasty and chill in bones 😮😮 uggh winter – killing me!!!


Hell yes 👏 winter is killing me!! Hurry up!!! Ugh it’s the worst time of the year.

I would like Christmas 🎄 because of the warm spirit ❤️ … but due to commercialism you can’t really enjoy season for what is supposed to be. So it’s crappy cold rainy and commercialized

It feels more like Christmas than has for very long time – but I have hard time in winter and with those holidays – cause I remember really bad memories … and then I remember how terrified was and many things … also makes me think of those who struggle and are cold, needing others

Winter is cold and people be in need… so I teeter between wanting that Christmas spirit but then also feeling for others … cause are they ok? Is Christmas … are they ok?

With other things …

I watched a documentary what people eat at fast food places in other countries lol 😮

It said Italy will forgo McDonalds fries for a chunk of Parmesan cheese? Is that true? 😮

Japan supposably puts chocolate on their fries 😮 that has me little repulsed but also curious lol – very interesting … and pumpkin spice fries lol … very interesting Japan 🇯🇵… you make me curious

People here will dip their fries in the shakes 😝 but I am not a shake person and especially thinking of in winter … I do not even find that appealing …. The chocolate fries sound a little interesting though

Dunkin’ Donuts in China has a pork seaweed donut 😮😮 I’m not sure about that one ?

The Middle East had or still has Kit Kat pops ??😮😮 … why was that not shared with the world???? 😮😮😮 Pizza Hut – hello!!!

Anyway – funny to see or know others foods

I also see USA foods banned in other countries 😮

That freaks me out a little – but I shouldn’t be surprised 🙄🫤 I know the country I live in and how they run things

I dunno if true or not but interesting

Had a nice day Friday and Saturday ❤️ Saturday I spend with daughter and we stay up late watching “Wednesday” lol (it’s a tv show based on Addams family)

Today we just relax, and do chores before the week starts

As far as Mr Military – he’s still being very sweet and kind… I’m being observant … he is out of state hunting ? But he text me a lot.

Kinda like he wants me to be comfortable with him? There is that careful gentleness? I am highly alert with how you come at me. So. No pressure lol

Just be good person. Be decent human being and you be fine.

I don’t know him yet and he doesn’t know me. So we still see … is pretty much all text currently except for lunch last week … and he says he wanna see me when he comes back.

I’m not sure how I feel about it – but we see

I’ll feel better when I know who he is.

I also want to make sure I’m ok with things and can handle.

I think he is charming and sweet… but again I do not know him much other than texts and lunch that day. So just cautious. We see still ✌️

He is kinda a man man? I dunno we see ? Military/also testosterone so we will see ?? I have to know better before I really know who he is.

But I am definitely woman with emotions so 🤷‍♀️😄😄 we shall see – should be interesting

I laid it out this morning little bit – I just say who I am point blank and what you can expect so careful – I just lay it out cause if you gonna think you can just be in my life – this is how is – can’t handle then stay away.

But he is being very nice and also funny… we see

Slight little concern – he name drops a lot as if that is impressive ?? What I care? I not trying to know whoever else and why is that something to say? 🤷‍♀️ what I care? That makes me feel weird. Why you name drop? Am I supposed to be impressed that you know others?? 🤷‍♀️ is that special or something? Does that make difference? 🤷‍♀️ why you do that??

Makes me feel like you are purposely trying to win me over or catch my attention really fast and really shallow… who cares who you know 🤷‍♀️ it’s not a thing for me. It’s a little weird.

I’m gonna wanna know you… not other people ✌️

Impress me with your own self / so I can see you 😘✌️… do you got the balls for that? 😘

And so that’s the shit happening lol 🤟

Ahhhh life



Ok I be right back – I have to order groceries 😘 I do not go into the store – just deliver to me. 👏🙌 I don’t have to deal with stores – I spoiled myself with that 😮 I just love too much!!

I don’t wanna be around huge crowds anyway. It’s winter!!! 😝😝 everyone sick



I just hurt myself and made direct eye contact with Doby now he is up on me and my hand 😮

I was in cabinet looking at what need – I dropped a glass bottle of oil and omg I try to catch it and slammed my area inside the hand right near the thumb … against the counter 😮 it did not break thank god!!

Instantly blue veins which normally you do not see – pop – the blue vein 😮 there were 2 that stem from one long one and I feel it up my wrist 😮

Shhh I’m fine – I put ice on it – now they mostly back to normal not as bad as initially 😮

So I might have those kinda issues

I also hurt my knee – and I could not remember how I could have done it??

Until I went to open door and it sticks – so I take my knee and push the door in – I am not strong enough in upper body – my lower body is my human strength power 😘

I realized when automatically …since one knee hurt, I used other knee and hurt that one too 😮

I go fast so 🤷‍♀️🫤

It’s winter – I want it to hurry

Come summer – I want to slow down and love every moment but it goes too fast and winter is back


Ugh that song just makes me ache for summer omg – so bad

Ok … well I have to online grocery shop really quick and I be back ✌️👏👏

Ok back…

So yeah – is a lot!

Yesterday was spooky and weird!!! I kept having massive coincidences with so many people!!! Omg … literally everyone all day long

Some would have my birthday exactly or some would live where I lived as as child and one even currently lives in my old house we had when married 😮

It was nuts and weird ??


So… on another subject…

Alright so… regarding to this guy… immediately I want to be like “maybe not good idea”? Just because I’m not sure ya know? But I am also weird with that and HIGHLY sensitive so ya know – I’m trying not to be too hard

And I dunno?? We see

But … he texts periodically and today graduated to phone calls 😮😮

Phone calls are kinda a big deal ? I did not expect that – he just called me 😮 which is fine … but that is a step… text messages there is still slight distance but phone calls you can hear emotions or read someone better

The only people I speak to on my phone are my people I love and work stuff

So is just little more on the personal side than text messages are. And we have had phone calls just not personal ones … I know … is overprotective

And then also … I do not know his world – is very different than mine so we see

But ok – we see

I am little quiet and stuff … just hang back a little

I like him – but I am just seeing who he is… I’m not sure who he is yet. I can’t really tell ?

Time will tell – we see

He is funny and makes me laugh … but then there is something that holds me back slightly – I am just seeing. I be smart ✌️

Lol you do have to fit into the beat within my heart lol … 😘✌️


But I am gonna need to feel comfortable and at ease. I’m not there yet 🤷‍♀️

I feel like he’s interested – yes totally … but I am cautious for both who he is because I don’t know him that well yet… and then also… possibly slightly to see if has motive? What is angle? Whatcha want – shall I play it again? It is one of my favorites ❤️ lol … so I’m gonna add it for my enjoyment anyway 😘✌️


Oh yeah … that was for me ❤️✌️😘

Ok I’m just seeing … but what is angle – what want ? What after? What motive …So we see who he is.

Whatever – you would be just as hard as I am, after satan! ✌️😘

So we just see … I like him but I am not at ease yet?

This is very difficult – this is why I am not a dating type… it’s either just gotta fit or no 🤷‍♀️ much easier … but then at same time how you get that? You have to do this!!!

I am not comfortable in the whole initial stage thing …

He’s very sweet. And I know he likes me or something? Cause he shares things with me…

He also tries to always impress me. I am not sure how that is sitting with me?? But we see ?

Ok well I can’t anymore …I’m so exhausted

Tmrw and Friday will be insane which I already know! Ok

Please have mercy! 😮🙏 easy please

He asked me what my plans for weekend were lol … family night and nothing ✌️🙌👏❤️ .. hibernation ❤️

Ok gnite 😘 I have to sleep 💤

Ugh Wednesday


So … ONLY ME!!

Everyone else is sick


I take my temp all the time – wear mask and take Covid tests – ahhh my life – fricken winter … I hate winter!!!

Also… can everyone take a moment and NOT die!!! Just ya know hold on – let me figure out if I am coming or going!! Omg

I talked to drs, hospitals, police depts, coroners, families – released things omg I didn’t leave til about 6:30pm

And I still have to call a police department after 7pm ugh 😑 … is just me

Tmrw I think I have help coming ❤️

Whew 😥


Yes I am dramatic because – “only me” … no time for literally anything including my own work and is end of month Omg

And there is no way I can fall … no way… so that better not happen!!


Bleh – fricken winter 🥶

Terrible! RSV, FLU, Covid … ugh fricken winter

Hurry UP summer!!!!!!

My distaste for winter grows every year. At least in the 2020’s

Try not to die!! But ya know … you don’t know… ugh fricken death 💀

Ok well I have to make one more call / but I wanna tell you about yesterday (was spooky!) and few other things so I try to be back later 🙏

Ok back later maybe 😘✌️ at least that’s a remind for me because I have so much going on … ok bye 👋


Well then – all my staff is down with Covid – awesome.

I am all alone today 😮

Pray for me!!! 🙏 😳

Also pray that it leaves me alone 🙏🙏🙏

Please let me not get – I have my own office and don’t sit around anyone else so maybe I be fine?

The one who had started Covid came in Monday but I sent home right away cause not seem ok. We had not seen since before Thanksgiving so would have been really brief encounter?

Then today everyone sick 🤒

I am ok so far ? I been taking Covid tests for past month lol omg … fricken winter

I hate winter!!


I want summer so bad!! So bad!!!

Well I’m still alive

So that was different …

I had reservations going into this…

He does have a lot going on in his life. Which is good because even though mine is nice and peaceful – I work a lot … but then the stuff he has is pretty heavy but they are big legal things due to a family thing.

Well anyway – the lunch date …

So we were to meet at 11:30a … he tell me to meet him at our little tiny airport here in town …

I parked and there he was … was good to see him – he gave me big hug – before I meet with him he asked me does it hurt you if I hug you ? Lol

He ask because he knows about the breast cancer – no it does not hurt me to give hug… unless you put me in a vice grip then maybe? lol but that was thoughtful he asked so ok …

So he takes me over to a plane and shows it to me.

He show me a lot of the plane and then we got in 😮 I sat in cockpit 😮

Ok so that was pretty cool and then he say ok ready for lunch? Buckle up 😮

So we flew to some airport that had a diner right next to runway … and we had lunch – took us about 15 minutes to get there so not too far away but would have been far by car. Was cute little old school diner – was nice

And we got to talk some, he seems like decent guy. I enjoyed the time and convo … we talk about serious things he dealing with – which is heavy stuff but nothing bad – just because he has many things going on. So I understand more – and I understand he coming from business perspective with a lot of it…

We also laughed and enjoyed the moment so that was cool. He did not try to make any moves or be inappropriate – he was very nice 😊

He say to me about emotions again but then midway through he showed softness and emotion so I teased and reminded of his words lol ✌️ see how that goes ? Lol … you can not NOT be emotional. Some things you just gonna be softer with. And that’s ok. Emotions are ok to have lol

Even if you tough man. You gonna have emotions – just go with it lol ✌️

Also… I am emotion queen with reading peoples emotions – that is ok… but I am not the one you should claim not having emotions to – see right through that. You can’t be stone – there will be something in life you are soft with. ✌️

It’s pretty incredible to fly in the cockpit lol… he also flies very nice – excellent control of aircraft and amazing landings lol very cool

I had a good time … was fun and yeah ok maybe little impressed – alright fine

He say he wanna take me all these places, like Monterey or Santa Barbara – but ya know people say many things. – I don’t put it past him lol … I can see why he loves to fly though.

I have never been flown somewhere for lunch and then back – just for lunch – but that was cool.

I’m still not sure totally – I just go slow… he seems ok with that. I’m just really cautious, but we had fun today – that was an adventure lol

When you are up there flying – you do not see the propeller lol … it only showed on pictures – they also look bendy but they are not

Was beautiful day too

Was nice – I was hesitant cause we have not spent one on one time together – but was fun and I enjoyed … so alright

Ok so… so far I like him

He is tough guy but he’s sweet and gentle with me

He is trying to read me lol … but that’s ok I’m trying to read him too??

I talk and stuff … and am honest when I do speak… also I’m just a little on guard… just cause I am learning who he is.

He’s all tough lol … but has sweetness, or a softness

We did speak about stuff – he was over seas … we didn’t get into anything heavy duty cause I just don’t know him yet and that’s really personal

He did speak about how he feels towards a man who will hit a woman lol … not a man … totally agree!! 😊 he does have a lot of women family in area and he is good to them

He’s a little businessy lol … but I do like him so alright maybe

I still feel distance though – I’ll just learn who he is and I’ll be more at ease

I had fun today – but I do need to know him more.

He did make me smile and laugh – he is not sure how to read me yet, so he steps carefully 😊 I like that. He wasn’t all overzealous or crazy… just nice and chill – I like that a lot – but he’s careful – asking if ok to hug and stuff … he make sure I was happy and having good time – he loved showing me the plane – I did not know what to look at first and I don’t wanna touch something and have it go bad lol but it was fine … a lot of harnesses … 5 point? I strapped in!! Lol

He tell me what he doing as he doing it – was cool

So yeah ok fine – little impressed – that was fun

Ok so – we still see

Don’t go thinking anything – let me just see

We were gone only for like 2 hours – he is very respectful – I also like that ✌️

So far he do ok – I like him so far he does well.. but let’s just see … let me just know who he is

So we still see

Was one date so we see … I am attracted to him but that means nothing … I just want to know who he is.

Yes he was sweet and funny and awesome – I had wonderful time …

But yes – I want to know who he is as person.

Anyone can show you an amazing and fun time… but who are they generally ? So I just need to know that – one date doesn’t show you that – so we see

I just want to go slow. I’m still seeing




So I don’t know 🤷‍♀️

He makes me feel little bit nervous. I’m not sure if I am ok with or not ??

I am trying to see who he is as person

I dunno – it’s sounds like a lot of drama going on in his life ??

I keep very low and quiet – I like peace – I don’t want a lot of drama – I work very hard to build life without that. Stay very protective.

I dunno if I can handle this? I’m very low key and only want to enjoy life. If you can do that with me – GREAT! If not – ok

I have some red flags 🚩… so we see

Not looking to complicate my life – just enjoy it so… we see

I want to see what kind of person he is …

But he tell me of things … things he has or has done – places he goes or name drops?

I’m not sure if that’s meant to impress me or not? Maybe? But ok ??

None of that is really what I care about?? And ya know I want more than something shallow… so we see

I feel like he thinks I don’t have a lot of experiences … lol so he wanna show me or open my world?

Hmm 🤔 … I have had many experiences in my life – know what to cherish … go ahead open my world – show me what you got

I dunno ??

I be cautious.

Be really careful with trying to impress me… I am looking to see who you are … so careful there

I am going to be watching his character, demeanor, how he is… oh he will be watched!!

I’m not sure I am ready – I’m not sure I feel ok with this but we see

It would be much easier if I can just go online and order exactly man I want lol … I would get the warranty lol 😘✌️ … but I wouldn’t have to do all this – it would just work lol … ahhh day dreams

I’m just not a dating type?

But we will see – we will have lunch and we see. I’m not sure how comfortable I am.

I dunno if is me or not … maybe is me… it’s me – not you lol …

But I dunno if you understand how much peace I keep in my life to balance other areas

Also… I’m not sure who he thinks I am… lol

I dunno 🤷‍♀️ I really love the peace – so we see if he worth it or not?,

I am not some woman who needs to be saved or anything – so watch that… don’t get ahead of yourself – remember:


I let you be the man – sure – yes please

Go right ahead – I hate all the man stuff lol

But you can’t own me like that… so in other words … I wanna see integrity so I know worth it …we see

He might be little more than I can handle? I don’t know?

I’m probably not ready or isn’t right – since I am feeling nervous? But I will see so I know I am not being overprotective – I know how to protect self

I was wondering if he thinks I am loner ?? Well I am but I have a pack ❤️ so I am never alone – I always have someone who love me

I never feel like I have no one.

So I’m not sure if since I am silent and little hold back ish … if he thinks I have no one and am a lost soul… I am not

He thinks my pain defines me – but it does not

I say that because he ask me questions – and I try to be vague but he want more in-depth so ok – here’s the shit – the shit is bananas lol


I just have a funniness in areas to keep life enjoyable … not dwell on painful things ??

And I keep to self to stay strong and know who I am, what I am ok with and what I want

Nothing wrong with that.

He seems a little darker in life than I am?? We see


I am more like this in life:


But you have to know me and I have to be able to love life – I almost lost mine few times so I cherish how amazing I keep my life and who’s in it

With those closest – I am free like that – we can be light and goofy – we in funerals so we normally have heavy and dark …

I can be full of life with my people ❤️

He sounds nice but not sure if he over my head or not – we see

I’m not sure I am comfortable – but we see over lunch ?

I am not sure where he is taking me for lunch – we see there too … he be mysterious and not tell me – says is surprise … so ok we see

Also… when I brought up my people – I did say they would be protective – he was little weird with that?

My people very important part of my life – just because I came from domestic violence does not define my life… I am not some meek little woman with no one – correct yourself ✌️ and just because I do funerals and can connect on level of loss – does not mean I am not strong as hell so also correct self there ✌️😘


I have strong core of men and women behind me and in my inner circle … so not sure who he thinks I am?

He might be too much for me? I am not sure – but I question


So I dunno?? Who can it be now? Lol 😉

So let’s see – one shot – lunch tmrw. Then I know.

I am nervous – I am not cut out for this?

I do not know if we on same wave or page? I keep my life very simple not all complicated … but we see

I am not like people on social media or with tons of drama

I try to tone down my love of life itself so it’s not crazy lol … with my people I can show my full love of life because they also either know hard times or almost lost their life … so we know how to cherish life – I can laugh and have fun and be self with them ❤️ adore them

Otherwise I am quiet and to self… totally nothing wrong with that.

We see with this man … he feels little dark and heavy but we see?

I can not save anyone just fyi

I’m not dark … way more Disney with funny darkish but bubbly flare lol … probably more bubbly than dark – but I have warped sense of humor lol



I do not fit in small little town… in big city I do fit … but I prefer in the middle of nowhere 😘

Sometimes he says things that make me have red flags? I’m so careful

Just things I am not sure I am ok with so we will see when I see him


I don’t know we see same ? And I have caution with some things – we just see – I’m just nervous

I’m looking for something in particular if gonna come into my life – so not sure if he has that

We see



So maybe take time to know who you deal with – we gonna see who he think I am … so ok let’s see


So alright – we see

Hmmm 🤔

Well first of all … I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving with friends and family yesterday.

Today I sleep a lot, because I was not feeling very well. Am ok at moment but then runs me back down quickly. Doby is not happy with this lol

Omg the energy from this man! Is non stop!

Anyway… 2 of the 3 kids give me lists this year… which is good and bad

Cause I buy early and then I’m all excited so I will offer to give early – what you gonna say? No? Lol

So now I have to just not do that. It kills me to have before the time – I already gave them 1

And if they don’t get me lists – they get mom gifts and no one wants mom gifts lol 🎁 … they are practical and things I think you would love or should have lol 😘❤️

Is never what you want lol … but really awesome things to me lol … so this year 2 gave lists and one still gambles lol 🎲


We shall see lol

And then I have something else to talk about…

So… ok let me walk through this…

This guy who I’ve been talking to… he is funny and texts me and is not overbearing – pretty chill

So as we talking he mention he is former military … hmm 🤔 ok… I can be open minded – I am not typically military type – we see …

And the section of military he was in makes me cautious?

Totally totally totally appreciate the service and my somewhat freedom. Absolutely grateful

But we just see… he has already introduced me to both his blood family and to his military family 😮

That went really fast but I didn’t totally expect but knew be many people – and the way he introduce me around ? Just interesting

That was few weeks ago even

And he opens up and tells me little bits about his life which is complicated cause he has a lot of things 🤷‍♀️ nothing that seems overly insane but I don’t know

Last night we have a convo on text… and he make a comment about emotions lol … he is not fully aware of who he deals with lol …



So… we see … I am strong woman who does think before react – but I am totally emotion – lol … I am funerals – how you do that with no emotion? Of course I feel with emotions lol

And then … how is military man gonna handle that? I am not cut from military cloth lol

We see – he shows me a softness but then I also see hard so… not very sure

He is kind and funny and gentle towards me…

We have not spoken of politics lol … I am independent but if he military he gonna be Republican watch – we see – let’s see

We have same religion so that makes no difference – neither one of us are formally practicing. I am probably more into catholic little things than him… I do not go to church, I do not think he does either?

I just feel some of the beliefs held me back – and I do not need a church to pray to whatever I believe. I say my prayers & have my own beliefs – end of story

I have a fire 🔥… and I am strong so do not mistake my kindness for weakness because that I am not… I am woman …


Also… am not 20 so do not try to manipulate – I think too much for that. ✌️ highly cautionary ⚠️

When he made that emotion comment – immediately I say “well you know I work funerals and I do ride with emotions”

So he is aware


And especially if you attempting to come into my life!!!

No one … not one person makes in into my inner circle – my children or my people … I have never ever introduced anyone to them in regards to me being interested … no one makes it that far so I will not introduce unless I am comfortable and serious


Do not overwhelm me or pressure

Careful … I am whirlwind of life … be careful

It does not have to be totally perfect – but has to fit and be ok.

Small little side note – recently I have been watching that 48 hrs show … the crime one ?

Probably not shows for me to watch ✌️ just mentioning that – I just be very high alert 🚨 lol


I’m sorry my inner circle is my core so if you want that … you better be worth it so I’m gonna take my time.


You got patience ? You gonna plan your attack or what? So let’s see how military man holds up?

So far he is doing well – I enjoy his texts – he is fun to talk to and makes me laugh

But I am both hard and soft so… just be careful

I don’t know that I am totally at ease because when I stop and think of a relationship or going anywhere near that – oh boy does that strike little panic

Because then you are “with” someone – so I just wanna make sure that’s ok… I’m gonna watch his character and who he is – so we see

He say tonight that he wants to spend some time with me when I’m able.

Alright so… if you fall off the bike, you get back up right? Well I am afraid of that giant gash from falling 🤷‍♀️😘

Any time I have given someone a chance ?? I dunno? I keep little distance just because I am not rushing into anything …

But I am whirlwind type – so you have to be very careful. Easy. However – my spirit needs to be free so you can not squash or inhibit lol ✌️😘

So… we see Mr Military

I’m not sure?? I am bit of free spirit so 🤷‍♀️

So far he plays his cards well … makes me laugh and enjoy the convos – he doesn’t be weird or try to send me a dick pic I don’t ask for, or ask me for anything racy 🙄🤨 … he does not do that 😊 so alright … continue lol

So far he is quite gentlemanly – but we see

Let me see his umm … I want to see if he has integrity so we see

I have not spent much time with him in person – some but not a lot – small pieces of time but always in middle of things – never alone…

Is the text messages I am learning who he is. I can’t quite tell in text? That is where he can speak to me alone currently lol

He kinda steps easily as to not scare me off – can totally sense that lol

But ok – we see


I’m interested to see how he will do? So far is ok. So far, I like him. So ok… we see … cause careful what kinda girl you go after … if you can not handle that type ✌️😘

So we will just see … it’s like I gamble 🤷‍♀️ but I am curious and I do like him and am enjoying his personality.

I am very positive happy person – and so is he so far … he just might be little bit heavier with things ?

We will see … I will just have to gamble and see

If I actually spend time with him in person one on one – then I will know who he is lol … I can observe better and be more at ease ?

Also… I am really guarded with my inner circle – is the family I have made myself and my blood… so …

I am not sure cause I’ve never gotten to a point to consider it with someone ? I keep very separate normally … I say normally 🤨 sometimes things are not normal … I also have these crazy events that life will throw at me to test my handling lol 🤷‍♀️

Sometimes I do ok – sometimes I do not 🤷‍♀️ depends on the event lol

Military guy gonna be harder than me. I am soft so what he want ? Balance ? – be sure of what want


And again … careful – I am whirlwind


I would let my people meet someone before my kids – if you don’t pass my people – you don’t get to my kids so … good luck 🍀

You must get to that point – and pass through them and then maybe ?? Maybe … totally maybe my kids

We see – you have to be completely amazing for that – so we see


Yeah better blow my mind for that lol … we see


To hear that song makes me smile soooooo much ❤️ it reminds me of Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon on SNL ❤️

Well I always loved that one … but only people recording it from their TV’s is what I find on YouTube lol 🤷‍♀️ so anyway … is awesome – that song reminds me of it and then makes me smile ❤️

Ok so… letting someone come around close I don’t know we see

I already told him I am boring but he is not listening 🤷‍♀️

Also… he flies so wants to show me places 😮 omg

Well … first of all… growing up … I was all over the United States if did not live there – vacationed there or through there … every year big cross country vacations and we moved every few years … I lived all over the east coast north and south… as well as west coast north and south.

I have seen many things already … I will go places and have deja vu … and guess what, there will be a photo from back then and I remember

I just went so many places in United States all the time that it began to blend – ah ok trees and mountains, deserts, plains – totally took for granted

Was the 80’s


Lol 🤷‍♀️

Totally wanted to be with my friends … but I do appreciate and love the experiences and memories ❤️

Anyway … queen of hearts sir – how you gonna play those cards ? 💋


💋✌️ gnite

November weekend

So Saturday – I got my things moved ❤️ my oldest son helped me ❤️

And he came with me to get few things that I couldn’t do by myself.

Saturday night my daughter got sick? She started having fever and chills, being achy, sore throat…

I gave her chicken noodle soup and made another meal 🥘 and she ate that too and asked for more today. So she’s eating and keeping down.

Her cheeks were really flushed … no fever since last night when it appeared – I give her tea and honey sticks … as well as some meds…


Since this morning I have been taking her temp and is at normal temperature. 98.0 consistently … so no fever fighting anything – her cheeks are better – not as flushed

But she is still achy and sleepy and not well.

I have been fine and taking care of things … but I am little bit run down feeling … but mind over matter right? Hopefully the night does not take me down.

I was supposed to do more things today – but meh… she was sick- and I didn’t feel like running all around.

Ohhhh but on a extremely bright note…

I found the greatest invention ever!! What is that you ask?? It is a laser pointer … yes just an ordinary everyday meeting laser pointer lol omg ❤️❤️❤️

Do you know why I think this is greatest invention ever???

Because I buy Doby fun toys and things and he enjoys but mauls them or wants me to throw a lot but I can’t for long time with my arms. It hurts

I just happen to be playing with laser pointer and omg DOBY can not get enough of this little red light and it is hilarious lol ❤️

I can easily make him run all over the house and I have wood floors so he does the Scooby Doo run…


The run where he runs in place and his legs spin lol … Doby does that…

And his focus is so hard on that little red dot 🔴… that he slides across the floor lol Omg

We have an award winning Doberman toy!! Who the hell knew “a laser pointer” 😮 bonus 👏

I literally can get him to do anything and go anywhere and I want with that little red dot – it’s incredible lol

So that was a discovery this weekend 😮 I did not know that was a thing for dogs 😮❤️👏👏👏 it is so much fun for both of us lol ❤️👏

If I make it disappear under a chair he is sooo perplexed lol 😄 it’s just like best entertainment and fun all in one ❤️❤️👏👏

Fricken laser pointers ❤️ love them

I literally just googled laser pointer and Dobermans and it’s a thing 😮😮 look what I stumble on lol – fricken yay!! 👏👏👏 I’m really excited with it – we have been having so much fun with it this weekend since I discover lol …

You now hear 🏇 galloping all over my house 😄😄 so hilarious!!! I will have to take video!! Is so awesome 👏👏❤️ he’s just so into it lol

I better stock up on replacement batteries … and more laser pointers lol … I should get colored ones 👏👏❤️


It’s just so much fun!! He’s so crazy over it lol

Literally beats every single thing I have ever bought him!!!!! 😮

Dobermans are really funny lol ❤️ ALOT of energy but very hilarious lol

Here are some funny things I came across this weekend …

Or a laser pointer 😄👏❤️
Damn right! Lol

Kidding … sometimes he’s an asshole but he’s awesome ❤️❤️❤️

And then… the head tilt with his little face – he looks at me and does that – just take my heart ❤️

And then clothing that seems perfect for any occasion lol…


And then lastly – the shirt I should buy to have for my funeral lol …


Oh yeah… and the guy who seems to like me …

I am also not sure how to read him.

He is flirty. Careful but flirty – he does not over step yet so doing well…

But I do think he throws little innuendos… I’m totally not sure – he is funny so I can’t tell? Is very subtle. Like testing waters

We just see – I keep it very level out of caution ⚠️

But he is funny and flirty.

And then one more thing…

I jump a little earlier – meaning take a step towards new change 😮


… as long as I can avoid getting sick 🙏🤞

I do kinda feel myself falling… but maybe because is just night ? Maybe if I just sleep?

Ok and this is holiday week… Thursday being Thanksgiving 😮😮

Ok let me sleep – gnite

So cold Saturday!

Well I am freezing 🥶 – I have my heat cranked at moment – brrr 🥶

So Friday was not horrific – actually was ok and rather zen – it was quiet – we had services and stuff but nothing popped off – ahhhh 🙌

I did get asked to dinner oddly ? Lol

Is that somewhat new friend I have something in common with… I just am cautious and protective … I will observe the person.

But he’s funny and very kind. Kind of a character lol … he steps very carefully with me, and he tries to learn who I am ? I dunno ? I’m pretty quiet

Every once in awhile I say something about my life and he zones in … but nicely … mainly because I’m just quiet 🤐

He knows about the cancer. And satan with the divorce sorta – I am very quiet there on details

He knows I have kids – he does too – his are grown

He is around my age but little older

He keeps trying to know me, that’s ok I think? We see

He steps carefully cause he’s not quite sure how I am or how I take things lol

I’ll allow it for now and we see … see I’m kinda open ?? You just have to approach the correct way and not F it up lol ✌️😘 but we see

I told him I am boring… I am boring – I like peace and family … I am not a partier, I work and be with kids – end of story

Once in a while maybe I be social but … I prefer home… I am old … I like the peace of home

And you might laugh or roll eyes when I say I am old but … all those cancer surgeries slowed me down … and the hits from all the deaths in my family was a lot to absorb… and then add satan on top of that … so I am just quiet

I also prefer zero drama – so just best to manage life with peace … I like the peace of moments ❤️✌️ just appreciating life

I am boring so don’t think I am not. I am telling you

I’m not gonna be out clubbing or dancing – I have zero interest in that … not my thing at all…

When I worked at golf course – the job had me being hit on literally daily – how the job was … so then my friends be like hey come out with us after work – but I spent my whole day socializing and ya know I am protective … so why would I want to socialize even more and on my own time when it was what I did for work lol

Plus I was hit on all the time – but at work I was protected by the work.., so why would I want to be unprotected on my own time?

I always said no… and same now… now just because I like peace and I don’t really know if someone can be a human being or not … which is why I watch them… so just better if be low key… I like low key

Now after everything I am just quiet and old 😘

I don’t really fit in dating world so I just prefer to stay away from it. It’s over my head anyway – I do not like the fastness, and also… I do not like way people are … sorry

I don’t like to be chased or suffocated – let me ease into and appreciate – also know who are … just be chill

Also please have a degree of respect – if you gonna try to get in my pants the answer is no, and done. Total kiss of death… bye 👋

So… I watch for the gentleman and one other thing… but ya know is 2022 so… have you seen the world?

Anyway… he seems chill and nice … I just can’t tell who he is yet?? We see

He’s careful… and I think I make him curious because I am kinda quiet ? I’m really low key and I am also an ACE at diverting you away from making me speak – I be vague and then I change subject or lead convo a different way … yeah I’m an ace at that. 🃏 ♥️ … I don’t know him well enough for him to have details like that.

Plus I am always busy so I do respond but is mostly short and sweet during work hours – and is intermittent

I also keep the conversations away from ?? Anything I would be uncomfortable with? I do not know him to text anything sexual – so no

Even jokey funniness – I steer clean lol – just better for now.

So… maybe see parts of Nevada – I already have but I love to visit places – reminds me of my childhood being all over the United States ❤️ 🇺🇸

So we do dinner in Nevada

Nevada is about an hour and a half or two hours from me by car – but he has planes so I dunno? He always share pictures of being in air with me … sunrises and sunsets 😮 I do love those photos

I take those types of pics too – when I fly …but I fly major airlines usually in economy. I like the window seat – I like to watch

I don’t like the isle because people and carts … and I’m uncomfortable in the middle seat lol – unless I know people beside me or they family

Have flown in tiny planes …but not private planes

Is cool – but I should probably make sure my will is in order. ✌️

We see.

It won’t be until our schedules and timing line up so we see on that too lol 🤷‍♀️ we see … many “we see’s”

Right now just talk so we see

Today I am cooking, cleaning and I am going to look at something at an estate sale shortly 😊✌️

Is chilly but sunny ☀️

I need someone to help me move something – I hate being at mercy of others to do things … before I could have done myself – now life forces me to need people 😝 meh – plus I have to wait lol ✌️😘


Oh good 👏👏👏 my son coming to help me ❤️❤️❤️ back later

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