Haha!!

What is my favorite kind of weather? Lol

If you have to ask …

https://youtu.be/EhZba-P7R18

I think I make that well known lol 👏❤️✌️

https://youtu.be/DJGBbPwCxC4

https://youtu.be/hrPesaX1o3c

… I am WAY more alive in summer ☀️❤️❤️❤️

So I think I have answered that ✌️ several times over lol

https://youtu.be/Kr0tTbTbmVA

Let’s hit summer and then just hit pause lol

https://youtu.be/E1fzJ_AYajA

I will gladly inform you of what I love lol ❤️✌️ that was cute question lol

Ahhhhh summer ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Almost there 🙏🙏🙏

Summer … is similar to Fridays lol 😘✌️ – same love ❤️

The moments we come alive ❤️👏

https://youtu.be/NHuGG_FsC20

🙌👏👏👏 how is summer not the best ??? Music bbqs – heat ❤️👏 yeah summer – beautiful skies … breathtaking moments – beaches, forests whatever – summer rules ❤️👏 fireworks 💥

Ahhh stop making me “want

https://youtu.be/J5qWnG5RQTk

❤️

Ok I got stuck on thinking of summer because of that question lol

https://youtu.be/_83KqwEEGw4

Way better in the summer ❤️👏

Just need that sun ☀️ – it’s been long time!!

Yeah see now I’m stuck on that now. It’s so beautiful with warmth and sun ☀️ ❤️ ahhh

Yeah it makes me just want 🤷‍♀️ lol … see how that works? Make me love it and it’s golden ❤️👏

https://youtu.be/e5RuGj0g1tk

https://youtu.be/dW2MmuA1nI4

Yes!! Shelter me from storms lol 🙌☀️ give me that temperature!!

*** speaking from someone who has had enough winter!! And also does live summer lol ❤️✌️

Yeah I don’t think I need to be asked this question lol

https://youtu.be/oB0NM6reiRE

I will be back later with a post not regarding summer lol – little stuck on it right now ✌️❤️

Dreams 💋

https://youtu.be/_QiKAN2LIuk

Happy Saturday ❤️🙏 perhaps???

https://youtu.be/co6WMzDOh1o

https://youtu.be/LQj–Kjn0z8

I dropped my daughter off with her friend today – they are going to Monterey, California for the weekend 🙌 … letting her have some life – I trust her ❤️ she’s an amazing daughter ❤️ smart girl and very responsible – there will be parents with her 😊

Ugh she’s old enough to have some life now 😮 … my baby 😮 where did the time go??

Ok so… I am supposed to meet a friend for lunch to catch up on life lol… normally he’s just normal friend – we be going to a restaurant

Which is fine… but lately I am extremely overwhelmed with attention!! I don’t know what happened to people – perhaps spring made everyone crazy??

Omg if I tell you all the shit – omg – every time I turn around!

https://youtu.be/CcCw1ggftuQ

It’s bad! It’s too much! I am way more quiet and reserved than people think I am… I like peace and slow – and I need to see who are and what want

My very best friend is a man… but he’s gay… so he is safe and non threatening – I never have to worry suddenly he gonna want me – I can just have peace with him … breath and not think about any of that. I trust him so completely – and he is an incredible person/human being – he is also Jewish ❤️ ✌️

Religion never gets in our way and meshes very nicely … his husband is also catholic and his husband grew up like me lol (only isn’t Irish)

But this guy I am catching up with is just a friend… we gonna talk over lunch and catch up.

And I am weird – so be careful 😘✌️ tiny little things will make me uncomfortable and sound my alarms 🚨

Ok so lately … I’ve been more visible 😝😩 ughhhh it just goes soooooooo bad!!! I am not that type!!!

Ugh ok

Well … I can not handle constantly being?? Asked out? If you know me then I’m ok as long as you don’t flip on me!!

I just need time

But it’s been bad all week! Even with that!! Omg

And then it’s starting to invade my life cause my coworkers are seeing it 😝😝😝 they tease me because is like all the time!! Ugh

Anyway… he make my alarm bells go off because he called me sweet pea 😮

Excuse me? Wait what? No no!

https://youtu.be/v1c2OfAzDTI

Careful there – I will back the F up if try to be fast or think I just gonna be like “oh ok” – nope 👎

Back it up and try again. Cmon 😩😩

Don’t go there – you have to spark my interest first – if you don’t and you do those fast uncomfortable things – you are doomed

I’m gonna be very skittish

You have to be a decent human being too – so pretty tall order – be emotionally intelligent not crazy … ugh men do not know how to do that 😮😮😮

They wanna come rushing right over and dive right in … nothing makes me back up faster

And what the hell??!’ I am old – stop ✋

I like peace and chill … you can not think you have a way in because are my friend – relax!

Just let me know you… you know me… then turn my head… take your time!!!

https://youtu.be/bs8dp2ofgyo

Also… please do not profess love quickly …can you please slow your roll? Thank you

https://youtu.be/-0llNuv3L4k

And I just got called into work 😩😩😩

But yeah… slow your roll buddy! Careful – I be honest, say my shit, back it up and go quiet 🤐

So careful – step slowly and also carefully – please read the vibe or I will have to tell you

Ugh just treat me like a human being for a minute please – I really don’t like feeling like prey … maybe try not to do that?? Careful

Ok 😩… work calls – gotta go

At least there is sun today ☀️

Ok I have to go – is for a family … I be back at some point ✌️

The Cure for the Week 🙌

https://youtu.be/mGgMZpGYiy8

Friday ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Yeah… this week I am very in love with Friday 🙏🙏🙏 please be good!! Don’t pop my bubble lol ✌️

And in regards to the prompt – HELL NO do I want to do more everyday!!! What kinda question is that??????? On a Friday

This week had its days mixed up!!! Puts out some laughter day on Sunday and a happiness day on Monday … then you ask me that question on a Friday 😝

Don’t mix up my week lol – it blends already!! I do just fine mixing up my own weeks lol ✌️

Life does not need to assist me with that!!!

It’s Friday ❤️❤️❤️ woo hoo!!!!

https://youtu.be/yML4pkBj93Q

Yeah – Friday is the The Cure – totally love Friday ❤️👏👏👏👏👏 oh thank god ❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏

Did you know?

Today is supposably International Happiness Day

Lol … I do not know who creates these ??

And who would put that out on a Monday??!! Lol

Whatever – there better be happiness today!! 🙏

Since that’s the subject – what makes you happy? What would your happiness be?

Yes being alive and family/ friends … those things – I already know those – but what makes you have happiness in general? Be specific?

Let go ahead and kick off a Monday 😮😳✌️🙏

https://youtu.be/ZbZSe6N_BXs

I will report my happiness after work lol 💋✌️

Live a life to remember 😮

Ok … I’m gonna have a lot of problems

I work – and that is my focus for survival … I build my life after Satan’s reign … so …

And I work hard at that, and I love what I do and helping people ❤️ I love very much – there is a purpose greater than your own

https://youtu.be/xVOJla2vYx8

Ok but… when I have to draw attention to us and I’m out there and being social because I have to!!

I don’t have a problem with that when it is professionally a thing… I know how to bring business – I’m very confident and ok with that

I just keep my mind very work focused – and since I am work focused when socializing I am blind to many other things – I have objective when socializing – I have purpose

But when it is on my own time I am much more reclusive ✌️ I fit with funerals lol 😘✌️ … or maybe it just fit me? I like peace and I have to recharge from all that

Soooooo … someone asked about me … I was just informed

I said what you mean they asking about me? And I was told “asked if you were single”

And … I know this person has a heart and compassion for others … I am impressed by the compassion and care they have towards another – very good kind loving heart

Plus – they have done the thing that is what I look for, why I fight so hard for… that one thing I always ask for and say no without… this person has already done that – that makes my heart bleed to think of and much respect 🙌

So I already know are capable and then that kinda drops a few guards cause I find that so utterly the most beautiful form of love and compassion

And they have had sadness and things like me so I can feel the heart

Anyway – they ask about me, and wanted my friend to give me their number 😮

Then even stopped by the funeral home to see me after I left for my daughter 😮

I do feel little overwhelmed because recently omg – both death and men are flooding in my life what is happening?? It totally feels like that

Look … I don’t really date – I work and I heal … my mind is only there only when you approach me in that way otherwise I don’t see well

If can be chill and not force shit on me I’m ok… and then also I am cautious because I wanna be sure with what I want.

I have never really dated as an adult – was together since 17 to Satan, and married at 20 … also mom at 20…

Lost my entire family to death… lost both parents pretty much simultaneously 😭💔

Went through violence and abuse with satan

And then I had cancer so … (oh yeah let’s go ahead and throw Covid on there because I survived that shit too) …

So I don’t know – I don’t know what I want. Because I depend on me… I don’t trust you to do that… I will never be at that mercy ever again – well I probably will someday… because “with love” you would have to trust so 🤷‍♀️ we see

https://youtu.be/SwrYMWoqg5w

But then every time I turn around someone asking about me or directly asking to take me out

I really don’t know that I am ready 😩

I like that I can be who ever I want – or however I am ❤️ I do not have to answer to anyone but myself… I am not owned 🙌👏❤️

https://youtu.be/8SeRU_ZPDkE

I know this one asking about me is not that way… I know he is good heart – very kind soul

Plus … I’m weird – I don’t care if you think that… I have that silent thing

Ugh so recently I will give time to see who someone is – “slowly” or I shut down… you come in too hard – you are done

I will always respect another – so I watch to see if you give off that too …

But ok this is just getting way the hell over my head

When I used to work the golf course – it was feeling very similar just different job – one was happy / one is sadder lol ✌️ I am versatile lol 😘 they are 360 of each other job wise … but I feel same sort of thing happening

I am back in town and now I am visible and I’ve been drawing attention for work.

I have that urge to be in middle of nowhere ❤️ I loved it there ❤️❤️❤️ my respite ❤️❤️❤️

I was isolating BEFORE Covid … Covid just made everyone else join my bandwagon lol 😘✌️ I was isolating since my final surgery – I went into seclusion on July 9, 2019

Made it all normal – but it was comfortable and I work around it … was nice without pressure

I’m ok if you want to know me, I am fine with that… but I need no pressure and I need slow – plus I’m weird and I’m boring or I try to be – like to say I am lol 😘✌️ want to believe I am 🙏 I just smile a lot and I am full of life which I try to tone down – I think that’s the infectious ness? Plus I’m funny – and also pretty upfront and honest

I have a life spark/spirit – why I am still here and … I do love life … good and bad – I like the good better obviously lol – but I also know life ✌️ I fight for my life many times … I already alive – but certain areas I keep very guarded

https://youtu.be/3YxaaGgTQYM

So I am not in a position to really date but you can come know me and give me time – move in as a kind person and good friend – easy … not all crazy fast!!

https://youtu.be/8tI1_KlO6xI

No matter if I have anyone – I love life and I cherish my healing ❤️‍🩹

https://youtu.be/ru0K8uYEZWw

💋

Come meet me but be very aware – please don’t invade me. Let me breathe 🧘‍♂️

I survive always with laughter and good people

I have wonderful supportive and loving people in my life currently ❤️ so just because I’m cautious don’t go thinking I don’t have anyone and I need anyone – just because I isolate does not mean I don’t have people …

My other problem is I am like this:

https://youtu.be/pkCyfBibIbI

But then I feel I live a crazy life inside death too…

https://youtu.be/p47fEXGabaY

😮😮😮

Fricken life trying to force me to live it – listen – I need time!! Yes I know time is precious but I need time …

https://youtu.be/UtF6Jej8yb4

https://youtu.be/mPbFxEGzCaM

❤️❤️❤️

Leave me alurn…

I’m so tired … but I want to tell you something…

Ok well remember military – omg he does not let up…

This morning he asked me if he could stop by my work…

He want to know if he come by cause he said he has something for me …

I told him – “nope, not today… I am exploding and nope not today”

To which he replies, pick a more pleasant day and I’ll slip by … and then says – I pray for you 🤨

Whatever 🙄 – the answer was NO

So then tonight –

Let me just tell you right now… if you know me … you absolutely know Friday nights are for my kids – period … and don’t bother me unless emergency or if I invite you

What does this asshole do ? Always texts or tries to call on a Friday – NOPE 👎 not answering – declined/ not read

Who you think you are? Rude! Fridays are off limits – anyone close to me respects that!! So check yourself Asshole – immediately upon meeting him I say that … everyone knows that – I am very upfront with that. That is for my kids!

Anyway… tonight he text me and say:

I’ll be around most/all of tomorrow. Let me know if you schedule will allow me the 5 minutes to thank you for something. That’s all I am asking for.

And then continues and says he hopes St Patrick is shining on me

What the fuck?!

What could you have and what do you want to thank me for? What?

I feel like he’s attempting to manipulate

Yeah – I am stubborn and firey …

I have told him we exploding – if knew me – would know I need time to self … and also Friday nights are always a no!! I won’t answer at all on Fridays

And ya know Asshole step it back stop forcing yourself… holy shit

I can not handle this right now – please leave me alone

I do not want to be forced upon and I feel like that is what he is doing – he just forces himself

I feel like he is trying to manipulate but he is not sure exactly which tactic … it is because I do have a soft kind heart so he knows that – so he figures he can manipulate that if he can reach my emotions

Pffft … AS IF! See what you don’t count on is a firey stubbornness … and I have massive guards up with him – no way will he reach my emotions!!

Pushing yourself on me IS NOT the way to get to me … holy crap?

Obviously he does not care I am exploding and did hear me say that? Just wants to force himself

I do not like that at all

It does make me nervous too cause ok what kinda situation is this gonna be ? Please do not stalk

Please leave me alone

I want some time off from the world

He makes me feel INSTANT stress ugh cause it’s always something I can not – instantly I am tense

He can’t have any empathy or understanding – only what he feels HE wants

Yeah no buddy

… remember the contractor? That I told you about yesterday – or whatever day it was I mentioned…

Well I was supposed to meet with him to discuss fence and things … but I am exploding at work so I asked if could take rain check

This week was overwhelming and emotional

There were moments I cried 😮 so I just want some time… I told him it was rough at work and apologized but I needed some time, could I rain check?

Anyway … the contractors response to me was :

Ya of course, I totally understand. Whenever you want me, I’ll be there!

😮😮 THAT was really sweet – I didn’t have to explain and he didn’t just try to force anyway – he didn’t make me feel bad AND accepted what I say without any kind of judgement … and allow me to have my peace… so I like that!! I felt that was very respectful. 😊

He does know what I do and can give me that understanding 😊👏 I appreciate that sooo much

But military will not let up. Ugh

I have told him I just can’t see him. I just can’t

He does it ALL wrong!!

I won’t be ok with him because he can’t hear anything I say and understands nothing – no empathy or compassion for others

Yeah no I can’t do that

So how do I handle this? I feel I tell him no and then he just reasks or finds SOMETHING he just HAS to see me about or talk to me about

I feel like he wants to figure out how to get to me – he is not going to do that.

I told him from beginning exactly what my issues were and none he has respected or thought of at all so … buddy is barking up wrong tree

He can’t even respect Friday nights

So I dunno .

I’m too tired 🥱 my brain is too fried – but I want to mention because – what do I do? 🤷‍♀️

Ugh 😩 I do not need this! Please just give me peace ☮️

If you can’t give peace – I don’t want you …

He is not understanding me at all – please leave me alone

Anyway I am frustrated to deal with this

He is total Trump’er how do I stop it?

Ok I need sleep!!! Good night 💤

And ps … I just gonna add my favorite SNL skit cause makes me feel better ❤️

Every time I see it – it makes me laugh – I could watch over and over and still makes me laugh lol ❤️

https://youtu.be/QKlv4pZe-zo

Uh oh

What day is it again?? 😮😮😮

We heading to burn out 😮😮

I don’t know how much longer we can operate this way!! We buried – no pun

We need serious help!! It’s gonna burn out.

https://youtu.be/1×5-_HO6oHc

Breathing and hoping NOT to be a customer!!

I don’t know how much more I or “we” can take

But then, I had to close fh for a minute to run to a cemetery … the next of kin ask for me … was crying … so I hug, comfort and talk to for minute. ❤️☹️

Is beautiful day – and those things remind me of why I do what I do… is people like that – which you don’t want suffering or hurting

So we burning out but then sometimes people make it worth it and you remember why you live in the first place

But still – there’s gonna be burn out – we need help

https://youtu.be/pXRviuL6vMY

The job is worth it because there is purpose but is a lot

Omg it’s only morning 😮

Head vs Heart

Ok well – today was crazy – but really, what day is not crazy?

I tried to rush the week today – cause I kept thinking it was Thursday … now my brain is all weird on it actually being Wednesday … but ok – 2 more days … tomorrow is Thursday … I get ahead of myself sometimes lol 🤷‍♀️

The days blend 😮

I think one of my neighbors died?? 😮 I do not know them… I don’t know if I have them 😮

https://youtu.be/Hgw_RD_1_5I

They are across street from me, and are known as one of the founding families of my town. It was incorporated in 1890 – so is still rather young compared to others.

Anyway – I think the old gentleman died… I didn’t see them very much … but every so often he must have had appts or something cause I would see a woman maybe in 60’s ? bring him home.

He walked so slowly – small baby steps and would take them forever to get inside. He was very elderly.

They are quiet unseen neighbors usually.

But yesterday and today – many unknown vehicles all up and down street. Also one right in front of my house. Which is fine – is just me – I don’t care … I park in my driveway

So today I had to call my elderly neighbor cause I knew I had a package 📦 I could not leave work so I called and asked if he could get for me.

Of course he say yes ❤️ he is sooo good to me – he always watches my house and he is just right with socialization – not overly and not underly lol ✌️

He is very similar to me in those terms. I think he doesn’t mind me because I work all the time and I am not invading his space lol ✌️

But we enjoy talking to each other for brief moments. He will call me on Sundays usually to make sure I am still alive over here 😄😄 … that’s what he always says … “hey girl, you still alive over there?” Lol …I’m just a quiet neighbor too. 😘✌️ … no excitement over here – nothing to see lol

I should be the one checking on him – but he checks on me lol ❤️

He also… since the day I moved in – takes down my garbage cans – before I get home from work the day before garbage day – all perfectly placed… and then will take them back up for me, before I get home ON garbage day ❤️ never misses a week ❤️ I never asked – he just does 😊🫶

Anyway … so he came over while I was at work to get my package for me… I was thinking was the small one I ordered … I ordered some things to take care of my yard – I’m gonna attempt to do myself so we will see how that goes … but yeah instead of the smaller package … it was the lawnmower I ordered 😮😮

Later – I see the doorbell camera and he comes over to get package – tries to pick up… but it is heavy lol … so he places it back down… leaves for a second and comes back with a Dolly 😮 OMG I asked my elderly neighbor to come get my heavy package 😮😮😮😮

Awww and he still did for me ❤️

I told him I was not in rush to get it – lol … like I said is for yard work lol … not my thing ✌️😘

But the moment I got home – there he is with my package lol ❤️

I stood outside and spoke to him for few minutes … I asked if he knew who’s car was in front of my house?

He says … I dunno, I just figured it was your boyfriend lol

https://youtu.be/dvLm14-zDM8

Ughhhh no lol … he says that every time there is a car in front of my house – sometimes it is my friends … not boyfriends lol – but that’s once in blue moons … I have one friend who was coming over on Fridays …cause they had no one for a minute – so they came to join family night.

And sometimes during work hours – one of the traveling funeral people who is one of my friends I don’t see too often – we will go to my house to have lunch and so she can see Doby ❤️

But usually no … military came over for dinner once before I learn many things. ✌️

Anyway – he always says that lol … I do not have time for a boyfriend – but if someone wants to park their car in front of my house and appear like I have a boyfriend … that is fine 😄✌️

I didn’t think of it that way until he said that lol … now yes go ahead park at my house lol

I do not know who’s vehicle it was – and neither did he.

My neighbor said last week there was 2 fire trucks 🚒 at that house … 😮 so yes I’m thinking death ☠️

But then ya know…. I always think death – I am surrounded by death, so that’s a thing … death is my life 😮 so I notice it. I’m pretty sure

If you had told me death would be my life one day – I would have told you – you were crazy!! I am happy person – never depressed – once in awhile I am human and have emotions lol … but mostly is happy and loving life … how could death come near me? – well here we are lol 🤷‍♀️ stranger things have happened

As we were talking – someone came outside… they were wearing ALL BLACK 😮😮

I leaned into him and said – see I told you, he probably died, they are wearing all black and there are tons of vehicles everywhere – is probably family.

It was death – I am pretty sure – I just know death very well ✌️😮😮

Then we started telling stories to each other about the neighborhood and town when was founded – history things – not gossip – only death gossip – I am pretty sure the old old elderly man died ☹️

I think my neighbor actually is interested and curious about my job and I make him think… he will shyly ask me questions about preparing for death and making arrangements – he is curious but I think he is also afraid lol … he is adorable 🥰 I really like him 😊❤️ …in a normal way, just being clear ✌️

So… today at work… I have a contractor I have known for few years… he started helping me when I first brought my home. Just a nice honest guy, always respectful. Decent human being 😊

Anyway – I had a family at work today – well they are not one of my families yet – but will be ☹️

I completely connected with them 😮 because is about to lose both parents boom boom ☹️ 💔

https://youtu.be/SlPhMPnQ58k

I could tell when I spoke to her she had been crying for a long time before she called me. I could hear the stuffed nose – I could tell she had been crying for awhile 💔

Well she needed some help on something totally different once I helped her and she told me everything.

So I said “I know a guy” lol … let me check with him and then I will forward you his information. She was thankful.

https://youtu.be/Io0fBr1XBUA

So I called him … and he was very happy to hear from me – which is fine … because I am like that too – if I like you and enjoy you – my face will light up, I will have huge smile – and I’m Irish – so it’s my whole face!!!! …. that’s probably half my problem!!! ~sigh~

Anyway – I called him and he was happier than usual to hear from me – it’s only been a few weeks – he did some lighting work at the FH.

I did speak to him the other day to ask how much I would need to save for him to fix my fence which all fell 🤨 … not gonna fix yet, cause I have to save … and I’m gonna wait until I don’t have anymore atmospheric issues 🤨 … but I wanted to know how much approx to save.

During that convo… he said to me – I was gonna call you and say hello, but I didn’t wanna freak you out lol … that’s because since he’s been doing work for me for awhile – I am very straight forward if you gonna deal with me – I gonna lay my shit out and if you can handle – great – if not – whatever

Know who you deal with ✌️

I like him as person but … it does give me little caution 🤷‍♀️ he was nice though – and he’s very respectful cause he does not want to invade or intrude me … he is cautious how he is with me so he does not scare me away lol 🤷‍♀️ but yes … he makes sure is ok before doing anything. He will wait for me to call or text – it has always been business but I dunno?? I just have some alerts 🚨 going off lol … when it happens all the time – you start to notice 😶

Also when I asked him about the money and the fence … he said aww well we will see – I have some of the materials and we will see what we need

😶 lol … I said … well yes but I wanna know what to pay you too lol

The whole time I have dealt with him – he request very little … I would always pay little more cause he wicked low balls – this was no different – so I will save more than he asks for. But he has always done that – and I, in return – always pay little bit extra for him – not a ton because I do not have alot – but he is also good to me – so I am thankful – he is also honest

So today, I tell him about the family… and I said listen – you can totally say no… I am just asking on their behalf if is ok to pass along your number and also if you would be able to help them? I know very little details.

He say yes… he has some big jobs going on – but he would see if he can fit the family in his schedule

So I’m glad he will try to help the family 👏🙏

I am not sure what to think – because alarms 🚨 are going off in my head cause … I dunno 🤷‍♀️… careful … approach with caution lol ✌️

No pressure or anything lol

But yeah … it’s a thing always … always always always

Maybe is nothing and be totally fine – I just hesitate cause ya know 🤷‍♀️ this is a thing that goes on… I am feeling alarms and caution – not because I don’t think he is good person – he totally is, and he’s cute… he is younger etc etc

He is respectful and I’ve known him for few years now…

I just have caution cause I just do ⚠️ because lately – everything is wacky!! And this has been happening a lot … and then almost seems to be all the time

I am also cautious because if you gonna approach my life – do not stress it out with things, do not ever try to tell me what to do or how to be – I will fight for my freedom so step carefully – and he does and he’s cautious … but so am I

https://youtu.be/SxGLPVvNjvY

But also this:

https://youtu.be/jH1RNk8954Q

I think he is little intimidated? Because I am pretty and strong woman – so he is very careful lol

I do know the power of a woman and I know my own power … I am very careful with it too 🫥 or try to anyway

I am independent so I depend on me… I do not chase or need any man

I think he is more used to a woman who is little more subservient or need to be with someone – I am not that way. I have had time to rebuild self and not need

Sooooo lol … I don’t know if he knows how to approach that – he is seeming very careful lol

https://youtu.be/XejVB_fba04

Yeah I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ … don’t be a pompous ass or satan, let me be me, maybe know my mind rather than my body or beauty ? And then also, you are gonna have to understand my life… Soooo can you hang or what?

https://youtu.be/k6M5C-oKw9k

So be careful – I am independent – but to come close that is heart ✌️ so highly cautious who I give that to. That is why I am careful.

Well one reason anyway

I don’t want you too close to my heart until I am at ease and I am comfortable

I can give my heart in grief totally!!! Right there with you all day long

But I am very cautious otherwise ✌️😘 🤫

https://youtu.be/w8mBplMtwJ8

Ok well I need sleep so – good night 😘🌙💤

Deep Breaths

I’m gonna try to be really fast here ??? Because I am exhausted!! But I have a couple things to quickly share …

Ok let me see … I literally just applied for for something I don’t know yet … I am not sure if would be ok or not. We will see – I will tell you if I go this route lol ✌️

I wrote the cover letter, introduction and attached resume 😮😮😮

My heart raced 😮 I also question what I am doing.

But we see – shot in dark. I wanna see my chances – I just wanna see

My mom would always use “relations”… so she would say is like I am dipping only my big toe in the water, instead of fully jumping in lol … yes! I do not like the shock of jumping in ice cold water lol … I want to “feel” it first. Lol make sure it’s ok.

So we see 😮😮

https://youtu.be/ozv4q2ov3Mk

Ok … ready 2023?? Ok deep breaths!!

Ok well throw the dice and let them land 😮😮

And then… on another subject… I bought a lotion… not just ANY lotion… I bought it because was a lotion my grandmother used all the time!!

When it came – I put it on right away – Omg deep breaths … there she was ❤️ her smell…

And since I put it on – omg … I smell so amazing just like her ❤️ I keep smelling myself and I instantly think of her ❤️❤️ I just love the smell ❤️❤️

https://youtu.be/TLGWQfK-6DY

It makes me remember my home ❤️ and her ❤️

I just wanna smell all the time ❤️

My Nana and Massachusetts ❤️

My whole life Boston was always there and a place I was – my one constant always ❤️ I love the feeling of her and of Massachusetts ❤️ that is where I get my spirit from 😉😘✌️❤️

https://youtu.be/1yHdc6JoRZI

Songs bring memories to you… and scents can also trigger some pretty incredible memories ❤️

I am gonna just be smelling myself constantly 😮 I can’t stop currently – I smell that smell and I just think of her … and Massachusetts ❤️

Ok so I will have to respond later – I’m sorry – I’m so tired… I be back though when able

Good night 🌙💤 ❤️

Ps – I wish you could smell me ❤️✌️

Smell ya later lol 😘❤️✌️

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