Life

Well they didn’t tell us anything … but we have a meeting at 10am tmrw morning to go over what’s going on.

So we will see. If was bad, I think they would have said something right away?

One cemetery is doing 10 people for 15 minutes and that 10 people is per car – the moment the head count is 10 – no other people allowed in for that service period!

Anyway… a lot of deaths.

Hurry up please!!

Dying over here!! 🤨

www.youtube.com/watch

Anyway… work is good. I am taking training modules 🤨 💤

Boring AF!!!

Sometimes it will let me just test and opt out if I pass test and I always pass 😘✌️

But sometimes it will make me watch the entire 30 page module 🤨

Ok that doesn’t help me ANY!!! 🤨 But whatever – it will come 😮😳

I am WAY more hands on… if I buy something … I do not head straight for the assembly directions … I first see, if I can do it with my brilliant self lol 😄😄✌️

Sometimes that works – sometimes it does not. Lol … I’m pretty good with it though – I don’t really need instructions much… just show me.

Show me what you do and I will catch it.

Also… sitting me in front of a computer watching modules of what I be doing and what I need to have and blah blah blah

Eventually I start to hear this:

www.youtube.com/watch

Dude!!! And then I get fidgety, cause I have to get up and step away from it!!

That is not training 🤨 what is this ridiculousness?

That is so not training… 🤨

Whatever

I have a lot on my mind. Little overloaded but that’s ok… I got it.

www.youtube.com/watch

It’s just my mind is swirling with thoughts.

I need an escape.

When I had cancer – I was still friends with country boy.

I used to get worried and stressed and he would always say “alright that’s it, be ready I’m picking you up” 😮

Well I would be curious lol… and he would pick me up in his truck and he usually take me way up into the mountains ❤️

One time, he taught me how to shoot. I do ok… but that bad arm makes it hard with rifle or shotgun. I prefer smaller

We shot Pepsi cans lol… I am not a gun person, but he helped me with something – hence the shooting. I didn’t know he was doing that – was a story I told him from a long time ago… he was very thoughtful to do that.

Anyway, point is … he always used to take my mind away. I liked when he did that… and he always did things that normal people just wouldn’t think of to do.

One time he took me boating and we just laughed the entire time!! We had fun.

During those moments – I forgot all about the cancer, my deaths, my ex – everything … I got to escape

www.youtube.com/watch

He always did stuff and I thought didn’t expect in return, but he did. So whatever – bye 👋

But it was a sweet escape… I wish for an escape now.

I just actually do not have time for an escape lol ✌️🤨

I made a comment today at work… we were chatting (my arranger) and I said “you kinda have to literally have no life to have this job” lol

And she said “yup pretty much” lol

😳😮 I still want a life lol eventually

www.youtube.com/watch

I’m just a little bit nervous about having a life 😮 ON MANY LEVELS 😮😮😮

Here I get to hide and stay away from life – which I kinda like ??? Ish.

I miss life.

I still love life ❤️ I enjoy my life and my people ❤️ I have a full life with all that going on

But I miss life though

It is a little overwhelming and kinda scary though. I’m a little overwhelmed by the thought of it.

I am nervous to ? Come back to life. I’ll get there eventually-ish lol ✌️😘

I like that covid kinda let me stay hidden? I like that I had that ability ❤️ I am lucky to work and have that

I am a little intimidated by life? Lol … covid has let me not have to have one, and it be perfectly normal – it let me heal – it gave me time

I have a lot of change to go 😳😮 omg 🤨 fricken life

I am only at my beginning 😮 oh no!! Lol dammit

www.youtube.com/watch

Way too old for this lol 😘✌️

So that’s about it for tonight.

I will let you know what happens tmrw when I learn. ✌️

Gnite 🌙💤😴❤️