So I’m thinking… I already have stable, and safe… and I built this… and I do love the coworkers and the job…
I stay and I only grow from there?? Plus right now I really love the people there ❤️ so I’m excited being with them
I have patience and then I also have that loyalty thing… so I am not sure if I am blinded or not?
I feel is a good thing for me to stay and acquire these office manager skills then I can go higher.
If I have the skills to back up my work or to fall back on… I will have strength
The other one is instant big money, federal job, better work life balance (because currently, I have none – even on my days off they texting me lol) which is fine cause I do not have a life so whatever lol 😄✌️
There is a pension for a federal job…
But I could always just learn my skills – stay put – learn… then go higher
I want to have a base… so as I build my tower of life… it is strong… so I want it strong and stable
But then… closer, more money, federal, better work life balance 🤨🤨🤨 what is my fricken problem
So how am I supposed to decide that? I feel like the other one is risky because is unknown 😮😳
I might not totally trust that it would be good?? It is the government (sorry but yeah)
I am hesitant to throw away what I build – for unknown??
But then hate to turn down the benefits of the unknown
I am thinking I will stay with what I have for this moment
I am thinking that would be best??
I think I need the skills I can get in this position ???
I am too afraid of the risk. I want a strong solid base. I have built my base
So I am just thinking 🤨 … and my phone earlier said “how much time do you spend thinking?” 🤨
I spend a lot of time thinking because I don’t want to get anything wrong!!!
So whatever. I don’t know what to do
It is brown and yellow everywhere … all the leaves are falling and it’s becoming that bare empty winterness… bleh
I just prefer spring and summer. Blooming and Alive? Warm, sweet, sunny
But here we are … and I can’t have that yet. All in due time right?
I want to build my own life back. I don’t want to mess up. I want to make the right choices and I want to have what I want…
I want to be strong and maybe a little powerful so I won’t ever fear or need again? And I am better off without him in my life – I don’t ever want him with any power to crush me ever again – so yeah I wanna be powerful – yeah I’m gonna reach for how I build my character
So I have to think of the money too. I just do. I have to.
I really want those skills. I am sitting in a really good position currently … I worked hard for this…
I did really work at all for this other one ?? I took all their tests they asked me to do …
I also had to take an online assessment test 😄
I took that online assessment test when, at my actual job, I was fed up with their crap lol
So some of the questions were : are you the type to go above and beyond the job? Do you give more than 100%? Etc etc – that kind of questioning 🤨
I was a little fed up from my actual job and I was like – nope not me – just do my job and that it lol …
So I was a little surprised ?? Little disbelief when they contact me – but ok…
And I don’t know what I was thinking because all my records and backgrounds always pass – but take a long time due to living in so many states 🤨 can’t we just keep the file handy? Can I just get a copy?
With today’s technology? How does that still take for fricken ever???
Well anyway.. I forgot all about everything and work was just exploding 😮 and then I got everything I wanted 😮
Then today that other one like congratulations we would like to offer you the position 😮 I have 3 days to decide 🤨
I just do all this only since last year ❤️
Before that I was sick and before that I was only a mom.
Once they gave me all clear after surgery… I worked very hard. Stayed quiet. Did my thing
Covid helped to place me in my position … I had no idea the events would turn out the way they did!!
I went to funeral home because I thought I needed it? I thought would be perfect cause I needed to heal too – I wrote them a letter telling them they needed me lol 😄✌️ they did 😘
But I had no idea – covid would hit the way it did – I didn’t see it coming like that. I just didn’t have my eyes open.
It shut everything down. I was by myself. But also working … in a job I knew nothing about yet cause I had just started 😮
Covid just allowed the job to slowly absorb me into it. It’s been wild. But covid allowed me to learn that, and then to show I knew what doing.
So. Meh. Good and bad. I built that though – through covid so I do love it.
And I will get amazing skills there
The work/life balance SUCKS ass!! 🤨😠 there is no balance there – they own you!! They can not function without you 🤨 not one day.
But I suppose everything has a downside?
Alright well its late – I work tmrw
Good night 💋❤️