Ok… I am back … so today 2 of my people we upset with each other…

So hmm… these people used to be pretty close… they knew each other from college. And they work really well together and I felt like they both always honest with each other and understood each other – that was the vibe I got anyway…

I adore both of these people!!

I know there have been issues between the 2 of them lately… distance has started setting in…

But ya know – sometimes friends have moments – but they always usually work it out??

Not today 😳

One almost just threw hands up and walked out…

There was crying, and just lots of stuff … I think is ok now??

We all very stressed and pushed to the limit. This is a job where the families matter yes… but you need your staff strong and able to handle everything

It’s just breaking.

So there was that

I did get to see my favorite funny worker today!!! I tell you – I just love working with him!! Such a bright spot!!

He was telling me funny story… remember he tell me about someone he liked… well he built that person up in his own mind over time lol… so 😄😄😄 … it did not work – he was not happy

I guess this person brought up money and just talked about their money and blah blah blah

I said yeah… cause people just want to impress and think that is how to they do it (whatever)

He send me a funny picture 😄 I have to retaliate with a funnier picture lol … but I haven’t found one yet … he’s got me topped right there lol

He nicknamed me 🤨… not one minute goes by he does not remind me of the hot thing… every single time I see him

And he nicknamed me with regards to that 🤨 … hey man… doesn’t that kinda run along the lines of “teasing” ?? I will have to mention that!! – he gonna be in so much trouble lol 😄✌️

I have not found a nickname for him yet? it will have to be a really really good one lol… I will see what I can come up with

He made me laugh today… the rest of day kinda heavy? Just with stuff … but I got some good work handled.

I needed someone to lift something for me today… we had a family come in to pick up ashes… well they ordered the MARBLE urn ⚱️… which is like 500 pounds to me!!! Plus add ashes – there was no way I could do that!! So I had coworker get for me.

Oh and we had 3 families there at one point and I’m doing a million things and I guess we didn’t lock the doors for one moment …

And I hear someone say something while I am in the urn cabinet 😳 so I peek out and there is some strange woman walking backwards out the door with a mask on making weird faces 🥴😳😮 wtf

My coworker came around the corner and went after her… what the hell

I said – was that one of our families ??? Who is that??

They wandered in with the unlocked door… and then was all weird… they left and didn’t hurt anything or anyone… just weird

And that is why we keep doors locked … keep the crazies out

Every time I went in that hallway after that… I could just see that woman in my mind lol

I had a heartbreaking one today 💔 someone who did not take death well … I know how that is… I don’t really do death well myself. Not when it’s mine, so there was sobbing and just hard… breaks your heart to see someone in such intense pain like that. I have to keep distance both out of respect and virus. But I want to comfort so bad!!!

Anyway… ya know I just don’t know… half of me like – fricken leave already… but then there are also things I have loyalty with

I have to work on this loyalty thing 🤨😄✌️

I will cast my line and see what can catch… so we see what happens ✌️

Oh and lastly … 🤨🤨🤨 … ok occasionally (many times lol) when I find a song I really like… I will play it over and over for a little bit – I have not done that in awhile – but it happens …

However – I do not like when the radio does it lol … omg – everywhere I go they play this song 👇 … constantly!!!

At first I kinda like it – ok it’s alright… but now they play it so much… I am annoyed lol 😄😘✌️

Plus it only makes me want summer … and this video 🤨 I am not fond of the video at all lol but whatever

This song is annoying me lately lol 👇

www.youtube.com/watch

Ok I be responding and reading now 😘✌️ Gnite

I have many things tonight… I do a few posts… this one is first… I just walked in door – today just popped off – I be back with that shortly… in meantime…

Ok let’s see… first … the car issue… you know my landlord and her sister? Her sister just bought a new car so she asked me if I want to buy hers?

I don’t know – I am not familiar with her car at all – is tiny!! So I don’t know about that??

What do you people know about Kia Rio’s is a 2008 hatchback.. she would sell to me for $1500…

She say no problems – but I will call that mechanic that never charges me and ask if he can take a quick look over … she say is under 100k… I don’t know exact mileage yet…

But that could hold me off from having to get car immediately and not kill me with payments – I could do that for now – and then later when I better off … I get what I want 😘❤️✌️

It is electric blue 🤨😄 but whatever. It’s not fire engine red … It does NOT have a cracked block and I won’t have to be under the hood constantly… I won’t have to worry would die on me at any time … is 10 years younger than my car

And I could make payments to her so not all at once and that be more manageable for me.

It’s only temporary while I handle all the other things and a good solution right?? For the moment?

The things that concern me – are that it is tiny… so “severely crushable” if ever in an accident

I don’t love “anything” about it… but it will buy me time… so when am ready to get what want… I can do that easier. Not totally kill myself

So yes? Who has experience with a Kia??? How are they? Would be worth it – or be crap? Cause I don’t want to deal with any crap!!!

I do not like fords or hondas – had horrible experiences with both of those – so never again!

How would a Kia be?? Am I gonna be bitchin? Anyone??? Any info – I do not know this vehicle at all.

I am not overly excited about it… but could be ok for time being right ???

And I don’t have to do loan

Or should I just go for what I want right now? What do I do????

Does sound good???

What think? I want ANY opinion – good or bad

I don’t know – I see bad things about it… I see that is slow acceleration and they have issues with a 4-cylinder engine… I drive 4 highways currently – I drive a lot

I don’t wanna be bitching and hating that completely!!!

Ohhhhh what do I do??? So tell me??? Opinion… honest and blunt please 🙏 lay it all out… hit me with your best shot!!!

Ok let me change and get myself situated and I be back to post more and read – what day is it???? 🤨

I hate to say this, but… I need to find another job… because this one is not right…

The job itself – I actually like it… and the people I work with are just amazing… we seriously have an incredible staff!!

So what is my problem?? Whew it’s a sinking ship… perhaps like the Titanic…

Upper management within the corporation knows that we need help… they don’t care… their answer is always “deal with it”

And they really don’t care about their employees or obviously their customers – say goodnight business … they gonna tank …

…and this is a job that … hmm how do I say?? People need… people always gonna be dying. Will always be business… but you won’t have a business without employees if you don’t treat them well and make them want to stay or have loyalty

So literally everyone is putting in notice and leaving – we have staff meeting tmrw where they gonna restructure …

Ok… so they said today- you either do what we say or you leave…

They are not giving us more help, they won’t hire or give full time… (we don’t even get lunches – they are working lunches if you able – which means eat while you work – no breaks) they won’t give overtime but want you to work.

The working conditions are getting worse and worse every day – and that stress level – I can feel the hormones releasing … do you understand that one? I can feel my body releasing things because of the stress

So I do have to leave – everyday becomes more and more clear.

So ok. I have to leave. That’s just it. Wasn’t meant to last – but I ended up getting attached to the job and the people.

My dad had the same job his entire life… that was when companies were loyal to their employees … treated them well and appreciated them… companies are not typically that way anymore …

However the water runs both ways… because good hardworking loyal employees are hard to find too… the work ethic mentality is different now

But I will say… they had an incredible team!! And they didn’t care and still don’t. It’s. Corporation – their bottom line is money… screw the employees

Life is pushing me to leave 🤨 I hate when life pushes me along lol – fine ok I’ll do it… fricken life and it’s pushing!!!

I am working tmrw … instead of Friday which is good… Friday 18 turns 19!! ❤️❤️❤️

So I have to get to bed again… ugh … I am just exhausted

I should be off by 2pm.

I think I need to move fast 🤨 it’s about to go down even harder. Whew alright then

That sucks 😔

It’s sucks and I don’t want to leave my people but everyone is leaving anyway, and the corporation doesn’t care, about the employees, the service, or evidentially the public

Bleh – ok I can do this… it’s time. ☹️

Note to self… no more corporations 😘✌️

I am getting very burnt out.

Good morning – I will have to make this fast… it is Monday 😳

I already know the moment I go to work its going to be insane. (Hopefully doesn’t kill me!)

Yesterday was really nice – peaceful and I got work done…

Also do you ever feel like maybe you have a guardian angel? I have good karma, and I am lucky with certain things?

Since was just peaceful yesterday – I had everything ready and done to shut down at exactly 5pm and sprint out of there…

Typically I try to leave as soon as possible before anything else happens lol

And I was ready to go yesterday … but I slowplayed it … I dragged my feet…

Even I thought that was odd behavior for me… I had everything ready… I could have left on the nose, at exactly 5pm and was what I had planned to do…

But then I just took my time… 5pm hit… shut down phones … and then just totally mosey’ed along

On my way home, traffic was not too bad… there was still traffic but was not crazy.

There are about 5-6 lanes? I think 6? But I have 2 lanes I usually always just use cause I can’t stand the others lol ✌️ I am a creature of habit with my little things.

But last night – I took a totally different lane?? I knew that was odd too? But felt more ?? I dunno? Safe?

Well I did not see the accident actually happen, because I was a ways back… but I saw car parts fly all over the highway and it turned into a parking lot instantly… ALL 6 lanes!!

I checked CHP later and said was 3 cars (in my 2 lane area) – non injury crash- but complaints of pain

If I had left on time and did my normal things – it would have put me in that vicinity at that very moment 😮

Yes I know was my own actions – but my actions were not usual so that was just weird? Even when I was doing those actions it felt weird… I usually always have same movements – but I didn’t yesterday which was highly unusual… it made me even feel “off”… but I did different anyway… Guardian angel? Cause that sorta happens to me every so often where I think something is kinda protecting me? Anyway was just a weird night

Talked to my sister, and then my mom… I have to call my brother – at some point – nothing going on- but we just catch up ❤️ how we stay connected ✌️

Ok today will be insane crazy… I’m not gonna be around at all – I’m sure … because of Friday and Saturday – today is just going to be insane … and if more comes today – omg … where is that guardian angel?? Lol … please let us handle it ok 🙏🙏🙏🙏 (we always do… but we run around like chickens with our heads cut off in many directions … and the stress level is insane!) So… relax … breathe… and here comes fricken Monday!!

I should be back after work 🙏 ok have to run ✌️

www.youtube.com/watch

Let’s pick this today…

www.youtube.com/watch

Yes that one ❤️ … my ride in today was awesome! Clear sailing on my highways – looks like people sleeping in today lol

And then so far – knock on wood… it’s easy like Sunday morning …

You know how you have those days that are just insane and you forget about “breathing”… and then you have those days where you can take a deep breath ❤️ ahhhhhh

I should be all by myself… hopefully no one dies, maybe get work done

Hopefully nothing pops off 🙏

In the meantime… I totally find these SNL political things really funny 😄😄❤️ omg … ahhh America 🤨😄 🇺🇸✌️

www.youtube.com/watch

They make fun of them so hilariously 😄… and I love that we can laugh about it!

We are coming close to the election 😳 – better laugh now!! ✌️

Alright well I’m gonna go breath in Sunday morning ❤️ get my work done 😘

Enjoy your Sunday ❤️✌️ or Monday or whatever wherever you are lol

www.youtube.com/watch

Only take my breath away GOOD… NOT bad!!! Just in the good way only!! Lol

Ok let’s see… my favorite day!! Friday – woo hoo! ❤️

Let me see if I can remember everything cause my days are just nuts!!

Ok work… I worked today … guess who I got to work with for a minute lol – yup my favorite guy!! Dude he is just so funny!! Just adore him!

I light up to see him, and he lights up to see me… we totally click and enjoy each other sooo much!!! He is awesome!! He should give lessons to guys on how to be lol … I’m kinda kidding but not really – he is just awesome!!

We are business when we need to be – but I love chatting with him. We so excited to chat lol

He does always brings up the hot thing – which is funny but now starting to kill me lol … I don’t always think of it until he mentions it lol… is nice though especially when not feeling hot lol ✌️ I forget – but he keeps bringing it up so then I remember 🤨😄

He was talking about some guy he likes … so I was listening and then he says you should date 😄😄 yeah no!

He say don’t you miss having someone? – yeah shut up lol 😄

It is way easier for guys!! And he is just ?? He makes it look easy cause he is not as umm??

I am just slow, want to take my time. I want like a best friend but with a fire? I wanna laugh all the time and enjoy everything

He however just wants to have fun lol

Yeah I’ll have fun after I see someone is worth it. End of story… he thinks it’s easy… I do not lol

He just wants fun with someone he likes – he’s more carefree …

I am a little more ?? Guarded ⚔️ lol ✌️ … careful, cautious…

www.youtube.com/watch

So whatever – I’ll listen to his stories – they are always interesting and hilarious anyway.

Anyway besides that… had a flower delivery first thing this morning… the flower guy says to me… are you new?

Umm not really? Been here awhile but I work 3 homes so I kinda bounce. Plus they kinda hide me away lol – I was joking – (I hide myself away lol)

And he says “well they shouldn’t” and then walked off 😳 I was not expecting that response “at all”

There was a burial… went well… she was highly loved ❤️ she knew many all over the country – I know this because we were supposed to Live Stream the burial … but there was an issue so it had to be posted later… people called from all over regarding how to connect?? And on her page everyone spoke about how loving she was ❤️ her whole entire family and friends were the sweetest people!

Before I move onto next topic…

Um … so you know how I had that interview for that position? Ok well went good and everything and would be good possibly…

I feel hesitation though? I am happy went well – and really love the people there – they are just amazing … they really are ❤️

But here is where my head is… lately in all homes and all areas – including one I interviewed with… there is MASS exodus!!! People just up and leaving all at same time!!! Even my girls 😮😮 omg!!

This is a corporation … they obviously do not know how to keep people…

And here’s the thing with funeral business currently… right now, because of Covid… is ALOT of direct cremations … many with no services – nothing… just direct cremations – unless are Jewish or Muslim.

But that’s a hard hit for funeral business … they are not pulling in money as much now… but busier than ever!! Omg sooo busy… everyone is dying – what the hell???!!!

I am so tired of Covid!!

But anyway… it’s been hard for everyone… and without the staff it makes it even harder

I am watching how they step… so that kinda concerns me with staying in this business. I do not want to be a customer any time soon!! And the stress level is insane

Tmrw I have to go to one funeral home in morning… but forward another one to my cell phone – so I will be working 2 at same time

Then I close the first one at noon, and take the van to 2nd home and work that too 5pm – then drive back to the 1st one drop the van off and get my car

That’s because we don’t have the staff!!

And then I was also thinking… here I really am tucked away… I do hide myself – cause I find peace in that… who’s gonna hit on someone in a funeral home lol … so is like safety? And is peaceful… I don’t have to deal with that… but I get comfortable with that – ALOT

How long do I want to hide away for? I kinda … hmm … how do I say this? Lol … ok I like the peace and I don’t have to deal with stuff but … I kinda miss life and being all peppy…

I like my guy friend so much cause I get to be peppy around him!! I smile and laugh all the time … he makes me miss that… he isn’t threatening to me so I can be at ease…

So you know how I take jobs that give me growth? Ok well… this one literally saved me through covid ❤️ it really did… death actually pulled me through …

But now is heavy… and I miss the people who leaving and it’s getting harder and harder and way more stress and I do love my girls – and people … it has allowed me to be compassionate and relate to others very simply – through the pain of loss

That helped me process my own… I have truly loved this job

But I do wonder if it holds me back and just lets me be comfortable? Cause I’m hidden away?

And I just want… I want that excitement of life? I love death for what it has helped me with… it took away my family, but it also helped me heal through helping others – and seeing from a different perspective

So see I am torn… I am hesitant because I want something amazing and I want to ??? Breathe life again?? I don’t know how to say that. Hopefully you understand?

Anyway… if I am torn and hesitant – I am thinking it is time for me to move forward? I dunno – bleh!!!

See my gut is telling me time to move on… but I am attached in ways??

So whatever – I always figure out eventually – I move slow lol – I just want to make sure my decisions are correct

Ok… what else… boys came over ❤️

My oldest 😄😄 he helped someone with moving things for 2 days 😄😄 he thought would be easy … I just learned this tonight

He came in… and went to sit… and sat down like an old man 😄😄 really slow, and weirdly 😄

What’s up with you? Lol and then he tells me the story…

He say he started in real good, packed the moving van real fast all by himself while they packing everything…

Second day, they unload together … but second day he hurt 😄 so he was slow lol

He still hurting awww … tiny bit humorous only because the way he told the story and then him acting like he was 100 lol

Covid got you not working out dude… c’mon 26 lol 😄✌️ I can’t really speak cause I am same with my arm – way slower than I used to be 😔 hate that… it’s annoying

They showed me some video that was this guy making fun of umm… videos from the 1950’s lol … ok it was kind of humorous in areas lol… cause the 1950’s were just different. People were different – was a different time

And then that video brought on convos about how… I am Generation X… 26 is a Millennial 😄😄🙄… 18 is sort of on the cusp of being a Millennial but I believe he is actually Gen Z… daughter is also Gen Z…

Gen Z has the really warped sense of humor 🤨🙄

This new generation of kids from 2013 until 2025… they call them Generation Alpha 🤨 let’s see how Alpha plays out – oh goodness

Anyway… at one point … 18 and daughter we talking away… both me and oldest spoke to them – but no one heard us… we spoke directly to them… but they did not hear our words 🤨

Later we mention that to them and they say was not true… I say it was and me and 26 both stand by that… they said “you have to say our names” uhhh we did lol… their logic is definitely generation Z 🙄

But we laughed alot… was a funny night ❤️

Ok well I have busy day tmrw 😳 whew this weekend 😳😮 gonna be nuts / please let me survive lol 🙏

Gonna respond really quick (hopefully quick) and then off to bed –

Oh yeah one more thing… my landlord gave me some clothes – for me 😳😄😄 she is very sweet… she is like family to me ❤️ I do love her and her sister like that ❤️ that are amazing

Anyway she was all excited to give me these clothes … one is a turtle neck shirt… which is good… I love the color… and will be good in winter … just one thing… with these new boobs … umm turtle necks make me look umm??? Like my boobs are enormous omg … so that was a little shocking … before I just looked normal… now things are a little off sometimes… I have to watch the clothes now… I’ve never had to have caution with clothes before until all this stuff – so that was interesting

And then the other was a dress … ok cool I like dresses 👗

It was really cute… wicked cute… again love the color!! … but um… it has a choker around the neck… but huge cut out right on the boobs … the right side – nothin but scars … whew those are still intense … you will not be looking at my face at all!!!! Or anything else for that matter … if the boobs do not grab the attention – the scars will – still bright purple… how long til the purple goes away??? Why is it purple!? But whatever am alive… just that will draw massive attention omg

And then the other thing with the dress … I am 5’7” and thin except for the boobs… I have a long torso… and long legs … so what is supposed to be a dress for a normal woman… is massively short on me!! I bend over and it’s on full display so I will get leggings or something and that will be a long shirt

But that’s also “IF” I have the balls to put my boobs out there… I just don’t want people staring at only my boobs, trust me it’s like that with this dress – and that’s all you will see with this dress – you probably would not even notice the shortness!!! Omg 😮😮😮

Maybe I will sew some lace there or something … I would be too self conscience … eyes up here buddy lol ✌️… like I need attention or something… I do not!!

But that was very sweet of her ❤️ just a little funny – both things she gave me make my boobs look ginormous – they aren’t … but these things make them pop out!!! They are bigger than what I had but I kinda hide away and keep covered – I am comfortable that way ✌️

www.youtube.com/watch

Lol… I’m trying not to… subtly is fine – but not bah-boom 😳😮

Everything trying to break me out of my comfort zone!!!

Alright that’s it. I have to respond and get to bed ✌️

Gnite 😘✌️

Today I go to the mothership lol … of funeral homes lol

I know that’s not exciting but to me it kind of is 😄 so weird … but I have heard so much about it!!

And they are meeting me regarding a full time position they have… I hope they like me and I hope I am what fits and I hope it’s what I want … we shall see

Please let this go well 🙏

I am little nervous because have never been there before… she told me yesterday – park to the right… be a fountain on left… text when you get here cause we keep doors locked lol

We all keep our doors locked because is just how we do, you usually ring a bell lol … makes it creepier lol just kidding … is just how we do. Lol

Unless you families or having service there is not a lot of foot traffic to funeral homes lol 😄✌️

There is some joke they like to say “people are dying to get in” 🤨😄😄

Or they also say … we put the fun in funeral 🤨😄😄

Whatever they are funny 😄❤️ I tell you… they are funny!!

www.youtube.com/watch

I hope they are like my girls… 🙏 funny and enjoyable to work with!!

I have spoken to some of the people there on phone… they seem cool – we will see.

Ps here is a remix 😄😘✌️

www.youtube.com/watch

So that was a learning experience… not all stores know how to do the grocery pick up.

Walmart has it down!! I have never had one issue, problem or waiting with them. Boom they on it!! They have staff just for that, and how they schedule is so easy… you pick time and they text you is ready, come on down. You park in numbered spaces and the app notifies them you are here and it asks what spot you have parked in… you enter the number and then there they are. Wicked easy!! No issues ever!!!

Target however – fail – that was literally the absolute worst grocery pick up service I have ever experienced!! Completely!!

There were no numbered spaces just special spots … you enter you vehicle color and type (ie. Sedan/suv/truck/ whatever)

They don’t look very organized with what is what and wait times are horrendous!! Whoa!! The wait times alone are really bad!!!! They are the worst I have ever ever experienced

The apologized – which is fine I wasn’t mad … I was annoyed that they loaded my car with half the order and said hang on let me make sure you are all set and came back and told me yup you all set…

I thought that was too little ??? So I figure I better pull over and double check before getting all the way home … and sure enough half the order was missing!! So I had to drive back and tell them they missing half the order and they say … oh yes we saw that after 🤨

So that makes me not ever want to use them again… the wait time and not getting things right.

I could have gone in the store myself and been faster and gotten everything myself… I use these services to not do that and not be around people

And I’m sorry if you don’t think covid is a threat – whatever believe whatever you want … but I am not taking chances after having had cancer myself and having many elderly people I be around. No way

I see it in my funeral homes and nope – I would rather stay out of stores – I want least possible exposure

I will continue to use the ones I know for sure know how to provide this service.

That was a definite fail … if I was a secret shopper they would have failed in every part!!

They had plenty of time to have it sorted and ready. Have never ever experienced such a bad service. What’s up with that Target?? Won’t be back. ✌️

I’m not going to chance having to wait forever and then also having to make sure I have the order I placed … that was a terrible experience.

When I got there it was still light out … when I left was dark. 🤨

Whatever – learning experience … stick to what you know is good and works