… while staying strong
Yeah, I am having an adventure tonight 😳 😱😱😱 it is 7:30pm
Alright so… where to begin lol
I left work… and ended up just getting escorted off the highway by chp
There is way more to story – but I am still in it… I have to go
To be continued lol… I’ll leave you in suspense lol 😘✌️
Be back at some point 🙏
Fun times, I’ll be back to tell my story… eventually lol should be tonight lol
I am safe ❤️
I might have to do some juggling here…
The friend having cancer tomorrow (Monday) texted me really late last night – I was already sleeping…
He said he might need a ride to and from hospital on Monday – would I be able to?
I am to work haunted mansion literally all day long. So I will have to coordinate – I already mapped it out and timed it… so I just need the times from him and then I can approach my boss – I could do on lunch if I can actually leave. We have that huge case so I will HAVE to coordinate
I can juggle. This week will be little nuts – but every week is being nuts lately!!
But ya know, support is vital to survival… and that is terrifying to go through… you don’t need to be worrying about rides or whatever – worry about your life.
But I’m serious, the better support you have the stronger you be. He’s in for a fight – I kinda worry will be really bad – we will see… I hate cancer
Is ok to be scared, and feel like you are helpless… cause up against cancer ya know, it kinda feels like that.
It’s scary, I’m sorry but it is. You have zero control. Your fate rests on the cancer itself and if it has spread, and how bad… and those doctors treating you.
I’m sorry… yes … is terrifying.
The hospitals should actually put in place passionate people to help in these situations – like patient advocates? – to explain a doctors words in normal terms, to be a support both mentally and physically … not a nurse…
But just support. Not everyone has that. But that should be there, it was not offered there when I was going through it…
I was very lucky … I had everyone jump to help me… and hold my hand through that entire time … my entire community and all my friends and what I had left of family from around the country and right here ❤️ … when I had dark days… they made sure I smiled or was ok… it was all the time… I was very humbled!! Speechless, still am with that, they blew me away… still does.. while I was alive, I got to see how people felt about me ❤️ how much I meant (I wish was all the time always and not when someone is sick or dying)
I just have incredible amazing people around me ❤️ I am very very lucky
But again not everyone has that… so ya know, I know what it’s like to go through that.
So we see… I texted a little while ago to see what time has to be there. Surgery is at 3pm so maybe 1?
And I can’t go in the hospital – so just a drop off … and I don’t know how long surgery is.
All these surgeries are in and out… even before Covid
My own mastectomy … 8 hour surgery… intubated – tube down my throat, whole 9…then 3 hours in recovery, I had all kinds of tubes (4) – really gross btw… and iv’s … and they still sent me home that night …and I had amazing top of the line insurance.
Get em in and get em out. Yup
And ya know my little grumpy old man I help? Well he has a mom who is about 90… last year she had a pace maker installed… that was also in and out surgery!!! 😮😮😮 and she’s a VET with the Air Force!! We dealing with the heart there – where is the heart?
Welcome to America 🤨 push em through. Like the industrial revolution but with people. We forgot how to care for people
I miss the days before HMO’s and PPO’s and crap-o’s lol … when it was actual true care and that oath meant something… I’m glad I’m old enough to remember those days before they went away…. but whatever I went off track for a minute lol – happens ✌️ if you read my blog you know this 😘
So I just have to see what he tell me on times, or if he needs my help. Of course I will help.
I will be back maybe for lunch? Or later or whenever ? Lol at some point ✌️
Today I did a set up for service tmrw. She was beautiful. Really beautiful. We always have them looking amazing – but this one – just beautiful… she looked like an angel… she is now I guess.
But she was really REALLY beautiful. I’ve never seen so perfectly beautiful!! Really sad.
Anyway. Just got home. Maybe 1/2 hour ago. Heated up some leftovers and we had dinner. Exciting lol
Tomorrow I am at Ugly walls and Monday I am at Haunted Mansion. Thursday I be with lawyer and Friday I have to pick neighbors house at airport. Whew … I am avail either Tuesday or Wednesday for work. They get one of those days or none – we shall see .
Monday my friend has cancer surgery… so we see what happens there.
Oh yes I can not forget to text Maintenence guy about the key!! Must do first thing in morning!! Hopefully I remember that. 😘✌️ I think I will …cause otherwise he is going to show up – and I would like peace lol … so yeah I will remember 😄✌️
I also have to call on my car… I don’t know cars really but I’m kinda learning little pieces here and there…
Like for example – I am pretty sure I have a leak in my coolant lol … it’s been kinda over heating … so I been checking all my fluids…
Power steering ✔️
Oil ✔️
Brake Fluid ✔️
And I also check the Coolant… and here’s the thing with that… when I park somewhere after driving there is drips, I was hoping was the ac… but I don’t think so… I let car cool down but next time I go to drive, I check the coolant again and is low – I am filling that all the time!! – if I do not – it starts to over heat! 🤨 and I definitely do not want to seize my engine or anything
So I will have to have that fixed
I should be ok though, I will bring it in this week. I don’t think will be too expensive?
Ok so. There is that. But I am kinda excited that I learn little things like that. Totally not a car person! But when you own a POS you have to learn lol ✌️😘
I went to start the neighbors cars so that they do not die while they are away… they have me leave the windows open cause the heat had been so bad… but when I went to his BIG giant truck… I opened the door … tons of ash fell on me 🤨 and is there on the seats – I brushed it off and I’ll wipe down sometime this week – closed the fricken windows lol
When I used her car last… I forgot to roll them down thankfully … no ash in there – sometimes forgetting is not a bad thing ✌️😘 (but that is a rare occurrence lol) just worked out for me here due to ash lol
It still rains ash – everywhere – in Sacramento and at my home far away lol 🤨… and every night that smoke seems to just settle in. 🤨
I was thinking… do you know Pompeii? It used to be a city in Italy, buried by Mount Vesuvius in 79 ad…
Of course “this” is absolutely nothing even close to THAT… but it makes me imagine what they must have went through!! And how horrific that must have been.
We have a super volcano under Yosemite … I could tell you about it… and was going to… but ya know, I don’t think I want to put that out into the universe – you can google. 😳 2020 does enough already. ✌️
Alright well I will read shortly.
Gnite 😘✌️
I always come in thinking – ahhh will be a nice peaceful day… for the most part today is. It’s pretty mellow- constant but mellow… I like mellow lol
Just a lot of work and people keep appearing… I helped one young man, and then some woman was supposed to stop by – but she is unable to – I tried to find some options for her but is not doable.
Then the maintenance guy comes – when he comes I’m on the phone with a client – and he’s ringing doorbell 500 times – yeah he’s gonna have to wait.
So I finish up the call and then go check what he wants … I had to walk out to him, I don’t usually go outside…
As I walk out, one of HIS workers whistles at me 😮😱… The guy I deal with just smiled and shrugged … I think he was embarrassed ? And boys will be boys. 🤨🙄
Anyway… I was able to give him 1 key 🔑… but I have to get him 2 more. And then he needed a lot of stuff – usually I don’t have that much contact with him 😳 it’s usually fast – he just asks me to open doors for him.
Tomorrow I have to remember to text him when I get to work and tell him if I have that key or not? I don’t know if there is a double or not?
The guy I deal with then tells me he is taking his guys out to eat at some place… they want to go there because there is some waitress one of them likes 🙄 and he tells me “ he thinks she likes him too” I said “good luck with that” lol.
And then I’m setting up for a service tmrw
Getting some stuff done – sorta – -in between things ✌️
Tmrw should be… lol I’m kidding – I’m not saying one word 😘✌️
I be back later
Still smoky 🤨 overcast & foggy looking again – I’m so tired of this … can it rain already – fine let winter come early … I am not a fan of winter because of the cold… but fine bring it!!! 🙏
We need an early winter!! This is devastating the west! Worst I’ve ever seen.
Anyway… I’m at my home base all by myself ❤️ nice and “the P word”… I don’t want to say it and jinx myself lol – whatever
Nothing going on- just work to do. Going to get on that before something does happen 🤨✌️😄
I love being here at this one. My Saturday love lol ❤️
Ok I’m off 😘✌️
It is sooooo smoky tonight… REALLY bad!!!
I stepped out to go to car with my oldest and we coughing and eyes hurt… is pea soup smoke out there!
When we came back inside – 18 said we smelled like we just got back from a bonfire 😮 we totally did… now my hair and clothes smell like smoke… I changed but is still in my hair!!
Btw those are lights from the neighbors house… that is not a fire lol (thank god!) just clarifying cause you never know 🤨
But yeah that smoke is thick, and awful! 😝😝 it’s sooo bad!
Tonight was mellow, I kinda had a rough day at work… we chit chatted about stuff and I kinda talked about medical stuff like maybe colon cancer lol 😄 … yeah they get it too 😘✌️ I want them aware of things!! Pay attention! Lol
Anyway… that brought up watching food videos… and there was one that was UK verses USA McDonald’s – omg we have so much more than you!! And all our stuff is sooooo LARGE!!! Omg … no wonder we have obesity issues and health problems!!!
Also we have way more ingredients in our things 😮
The UK vs USA in any food – ours is WAY BIGGER!!! 😮😮 and again with the more ingredients in everything!!!
Then we switched to worldwide… and saw the McDonald’s things around the world 😮 omg so different!! Some looked good, some did not lol
But we talked about how what you put in your body can cause you to have health issues
I kinda give up cause 18 seems to think he is just invincible – he will worry later 🤨 yeah well mom worries now!!
Then we watched this quick thing about “pickle” pie 😮😮😮 I have never heard of such a thing!!
My oldest was like ewww yuck!! But I am intrigued?? How would you make pickle into a good pie? But it showed people trying it and they say was like sweet and sour – one said tasted like pumpkin pie ??
But my oldest said no way be like pumpkin pie, and that it would be crunchy and disgusting lol … it’s doesn’t actually sound appetizing – but I am curious… is dill- dill pickle… In a pie lol 😄😄 weird
Yeah that’s here in America- we have everything 🤨 that’s not always a good thing
We have festivals (or did before corona) like for example “the asparagus festival” …all asparagus everything … from fried asparagus to asparagus ice cream 😳😮😝 … I suppose you have to like asparagus lol – which I do not
I do like the strawberry festival though ❤️
Anyway… then my daughter asked if … not this Saturday (tmrw) … but next Saturday – if she could go over and hang out with some friends …
Oohhh
She started in with “they have been isolating” etc … I said let me talk to parents – I am concerned
And then it hit me … she is not with me … she will be with her father that day… so I said that
And she said dad already said yes.
Oh I see…. so I said no.
He is coming after me for custody cause my child support just went up… he told the courts he is concerned with her being with me and the virus because I work.
I have to work!! And I am safe as I possibly can – I promise you that.
So he tell her yes and then first time ever said asked your mother if ok…
If I say ok… he will use that in court and I can’t say a damn word.
All 3 of them jumped on me for saying no. I said you do not know what goes on in court and I am not telling you. So believe whatever you want. I’m not going to risk it.
I do have concerns with corona – but I know her friends and their families have been isolating also …
But if I tell her yes, I could lose her completely … so my answer is no.
He gets to look awesome saying yes… he’s the awesome parent
And I look bad because I say no… I don’t want to lose her
He has never coparented before
And all she’s been doing all night is saying how much she misses her girls – which kills me
I’m sorry my hands are tied – I have to be the bad parent because I don’t want to lose her.
That kinda sucks. I can’t even tell them why. So it looks like me. That also kills me… he is brutal.
But ok. They can believe whatever they want. I can not tell them. If I tell them, that will come down on me in court too. So I can’t – that’s hard 💔
So anyway after the boys left she asked me again and kinda gave a guilt trip…
I just blamed it on breast cancer and corona. I can’t really tell her why. So we just be safe – no contact ok?
So whatever …
I have to work tmrw – my funeral home … maybe by myself?
Oh and my district manager says go get keys for everyone 🤨
So I wrote her back and said … that’s not happening until the earliest next week … I’m the only one here, and I’m not using my own money!
She’s like what you mean where is everyone? I said one is at lunch, one is having a service. No idea where everyone else is??
Today was heavy and stressed, I had a major thing and it was crazy busy anyway! Screw getting keys for people, and I am not paying for that out of pocket – no way!!
She said she thought a specific person was with me – nope they were not … they have the company card . So maybe next week
So whatever – she said no problem once I laid it out
I don’t usually talk back so if I do… you know is serious lol ✌️
I also have to call the awesome car guy to fix my car I have a leak of something somewhere ?? I’m not sure – but I don’t think he open weekends? He will have to charge me this time… past 2 times he hasn’t … but this time he HAS to! I’m sure is a major repair!!!
There is a leak of something? Possibly coolant? Cause it wants to overheat quick. So we see – next week – the saga continues lol ✌️
Ok well hopefully I am alone tomorrow 🙏🙏🙏🙏 I just wanna be alone lol … let me have peace for a day and get stuff done!!! 🙏🙏🙏
Ok I have to go to bed – here comes the crazy weekend! 😳😮🙏 please be chill!!! 🙏🙏🙏
Gnite 😘✌️
Just see this… ⚠️ Warning – could be upsetting
It takes one split second to change lives!!
☹️
That truck PLOWED through those cars! The whole thing is heartbreaking.
I went to the grocery store and got my groceries. The smoke is still pretty heavy… things are not AS orange anymore – as night comes the smoke comes in more too
Instead it looks like a gray overcast day with fog. The smoke smell is pretty intense though. I am still coughing, even just being out there for little while.
My sun and sky:
I got a call from an old friend who was having medical tests run… he has colon cancer. Goes into surgery Monday.
Ugh what is up with all this?
He called me weeks ago cause he was having a few issues – he told me his symptoms… I am not a doctor… he just wanted a friend to vent to who was an outsider – and I do alot with people who have medical issues.
I listened. I don’t like giving medical advice and just because I had breast cancer, does not mean I know these things!! So I just listen and let people vent. I am good with support and compassion
Here are the symptoms of colon cancer :
He had the first one listed, change in bowel habits – constipation … cramping which he just passed off on his diet and gas… and weakness and fatigue… but he has a job that causes that and he is not young, he is maybe 55? Ish? I’m not totally sure somewhere around there – I don’t believe he had ever been screened before this
He did not have blood OR weight loss.
His diet was all red meat, rice, white bread, alot of soda… all of that increases your risk of colon cancer
You can have no known risk factors, which is why screening is so important!!! It has the second highest rate of cancer deaths in the United States, second to lung cancer
You should screen starting at least at age 50.
I don’t like when they put ages on when to screen… I know a few young women in their 20’s and 30’s with breast cancer.
So is important at any age – please know your body. Save your life
They have tests now that can check for these mutations making it easier to see if you would be at risk..
The earlier you catch things the better.
So, that happened – just thought I would share things that come around. Education is good. Better to know and be aware.
He just told me that this afternoon. I wish him the best, told him if he needs anything to let me know… is always good to have good support around you.
Don’t be shy with these things – it can cost you your life. they are not a big deal to simply be checked – don’t be afraid or embarrassed
The more education out there – the better.
I have a lot of people I know recently having issues 😮 or maybe is just because people come to me and it just seems that way?
Just be aware – cancer is not something to mess with or disregard.
I was scared myself. So I understand. But the earlier you catch something the better it is.
Alright well anyway. Lots of things on my mind ✌️
I’m not going to say one word, or try really hard not to – I have a fighting spirit – and this … ok I’m not gonna say a word – I’m just gonna let it rest right there.
Ok I can’t help it… sorry… so then… some of the deaths are on the hands of the President of the United States? Cause if there had been honesty and tact… yes maybe some panic, but less deaths – people would have been more vigilant and then the president wouldn’t even wear a mask for longest time! – whoa!
Liar!!!
And look they reopen schools – how you feel about that now America? Does that sit well with you? You gonna send your children out there to germ central being in school? Schools are notorious for germs – you ready for a second more deadly wave?
You gonna wear your mask now? You gonna send your children to school?
Ughhhh I can not contain the fight on this one… hello – fricken deadly!
Wake up people!
That was NOT the way to play this! Playing with others lives because you don’t want to cause a panic over a deadly virus?? Omg
You fuckin lead a country! Protect your people!! Don’t blow sunshine up our ass! I really hate that… I hate that in general – be blunt – give it to me “as is” so I know what I’m dealing with…
It should be the rights of the American public and worldwide – that each person knows the severity of what is coming at them!!
Omg – ok I can’t speak anymore cause I will keep going off
I can not take another 4 years of all this!!
I have a little fire myself 😘✌️I usually just stay quiet with these matters. I keep my opinions to myself with political and religious matters – but this sparks me.
I’m just tired of his shit!! Omg so much shit!!
Ok yes I have to be done here ✌️
Ok now I see where all the smoke and ash is from… we do have a fire close…
This is up around the Paradise area, which was already wiped out back in 2018.
I have many friends in Yuba and Plumas Counties where they are doing evacuations … Butte, Lassen, Plumas and Yuba counties have evacuations – started Tuesday night… already burned at LEAST 95,000 acres!! The people around the town of Paradise are fleeing again 😮
Maybe Paradise is not the place to live 😮
That is somewhat close to me, but no evacuations for my area at this time… and that cloud cover is keeping temps down so that helps, winds have died down and are shifting
I will go out later to pick up groceries so I will see how it is.
So clean air and blue skies… I miss that … we are just going to be one giant piece of ash!
I will let you know how is when I go out later. I haven’t been outside yet.
I always stay safe, I have a way out should it get bad, we have packed bags, all my photos are digitalized – I have them already… all important things ready to grab. Have fire equipment too – just a little but enough to stay safe
I make sure we safe – I make plans ✌️ am careful and safe.
If fire does hit my area – I’ll just take it as it comes. Should be fine though – not to sound too over confident … cause I’m not… but should be fine – I have plans in place should anything happen.
It’s just alot!! This year is just bad! It’s NEVER this bad!! It’s like the entire western area of the United States 😮😳.. even Washington State and Oregon
Crazy.
I have 1 friend who said they are not going to leave their home 😮 they are up in Yuba… they want to protect their property – oh my goodness – yikes
3 people have already died… so I dunno… if someone is headstrong there is no convincing otherwise 😳
So hopefully today goes ok. 🙏
My area is fine – just smoky and ashy… I am far enough from it that is not a threat to me at this time… is close but not too close for comfort.
Alright I have to run – be back later
I would say this is the absolute worst fire season I have ever experienced or seen! It is not usually THIS bad! It’s gotta be 2020… I am just gonna blame 2020 for everything this year!!!
Learning Life 