Memorial Day is Monday 🇺🇸 but is pretty much the entire weekend – in the same way that I own all of July lol 😄😘❤️✌️
Well traffic is insane now 🤨
The roads have been insane crazy!! You couldn’t keep people at home right now if you tried 😮 they just want to be out.
Anyway. Whatever 🙄 nothing lasts forever. I just got spoiled with clear roadways – omg I got so spoiled!!! How did I let that happen?? I loved it WAY TOO MUCH!!!
I did like the peace for a year. I’m sorry but I did.
Now I feel like crowds are everywhere 😮
Is flood of people coming back to life …
Welcome back
I just wish not so much traffic lol… I got really spoiled – like beyond spoiled. Did not realize that. Now it makes me cringe and I have to listen to traffic reports 🤨😝 and sometimes it’s a parking lot 🤨
Ugh 🤦♀️ I do not remember it being THIS bad 😮 ever
But again – it IS 🇺🇸 Memorial Day Weekend. 🇺🇸
It has been increasing more and more, all the time, before this weekend.
Happy Memorial Day weekend ❤️🇺🇸❤️
My mother’s father, fought in Pearl Harbor – he has a Purple Heart from that. His ship was blown up – he survived. … and here I am 😮🇺🇸❤️ (he has since passed, but had a decently long life)
Thank you to my men and women in the United States Military …past present and future, for protecting our freedoms – at home and abroad. ❤️ Thank you for your service, thank you for my freedom!!! 🇺🇸❤️
This weekend will be BBQ’s and friends and families … people are over it and once again life comes back. Ready??
Eh… I am not sure – I do not think I am ready lol … I really liked the slower pace of life around me.
Now it’s like:
But before I had open road –
Ahhhh open road ❤️🙌❤️
Now is more like parking lot mostly 🤦♀️
Yeah I let myself get spoiled 😮
It seemed like I had forever – but that went fast – back to the way it was and busier 🤦♀️
Oh well… was nice for a minute with the traffic part … now it’s back 🤦♀️
I do love that people are ok and continuing to be vaccinated ❤️
I am spending a nice quiet peaceful Memorial Day ❤️🇺🇸
Doing chores and errands like normal. And just staying off major roads and chilling – enjoying the peace … inside … in A/C
Tmrw is 102… Monday be 105 😮 here comes the heat too!!! 😮
… it’s technically not even summer yet 😮😮
Alright.
Friday these people bring Snap… they can not do that anymore because that is engulfing… don’t do that lol – we get lost in that
We end up playing video games all night – which is fun… but I want to actually “be” with them and enjoy THEM – interact with actual games lol … but whatever it’s still fun but they can’t do that every time lol
If someone dies in the hospital … if you don’t already have a funeral home you want to use, figure out which one you want. The hospital will usually give you some time to find one. Don’t panic.
If the person dies at home… you will need to either call the hospice nurse … or call paramedics … you do this step to have them come out and check to verify the passing … once they do that they will pronounce the death. Ask the paramedics or hospice nurse for time of death.
Call the funeral home to inform them of the death.
From there we have to take some information from you … we will need date of birth, date of death and time of death.
We also need their doctors information (a name and phone number is sufficient) …if you have it… we take whatever information we can. The doctor information, we use because the doctor will need to provide causes of death and also sign off on death certificate.
We also need the name and information for the next of kin –OR – whoever has Power of Attorney. They will be who we contact for direction with what to do.
If the person died in a hospital, we will prepare a “Release” document. The hospital will not release your loved one without this…
The Release will be signed by a representative of the funeral home and next of kin or who has power of attorney.
We can Docusign it for you, to your email, so we can move fast to take them into OUR care.
If the person died at home – we do not need a release… just call us after the hospice nurse or paramedics have pronounced the death. We will take some information from you and then come to take your loved one into our care.
Deaths at a residence take priority. This is because a hospital has places for people who have passed away… with a residence, we have to remove as soon as able.
Sometimes we do have families who ask for extra time before we do the removal – that is fine… and we will allow families to have their moments … but discoloration and rigor mortis can begin to set in. Just be aware
Once all that has been completed and your loved one is safe with us… depending on your religious preferences … we will reach out to you the following day.
A funeral director will set up some time with you to go over all the arrangements.
We will check if there is a preneed, but if there isn’t – you can also use a life insurance policy to cover funeral expenses. Let us do that for you, is faster and easier.
And once all that is in place and you have made arrangements with us, we take care of everything for you on the funeral side.
You will need to decide if you want cremation or burial. And then we need to figure out where you would like the burial or where the urn ⚱️ will be going … we will need permits for those things… permits are not too expensive. $12 in Sacramento County
You will also need death certificates – we will handle that for you too, just tell us how many you want to have.
You will need death certificates to switch over any bank accounts, property, insurance, anything of value… companies will ask you for death certificate to verify death.
Death certificates in Sacramento County cost $21 currently – but adds up if you need a lot. We will also provide you with some photo copies of the death certificate – sometimes a company will accept a photo copy, so ask the company that is requesting a copy of death certificate, if they will accept photo copy or if they will need the original.
** also ** we see everything – so there is no need to be embarrassed with anything. We understand death, we know things that go on in families, we see a lot of things … so it’s ok – you are safe with us, and so is your loved one. You don’t have to worry.
Most of the time, in life, you aren’t supposed to show emotions so deeply… but in a funeral home – that is a safe zone to show your emotions… and that’s ok… you can cry on us if you need to.
Don’t be embarrassed if you have problems absorbing or accepting the death. It happens – we are familiar. That’s ok. We can help you through that.
Make sure you inform Funeral home of any issues such as restraining orders or things like that, which could potentially be a problem. That can “sometimes” be a thing… we know how to help you through all these things ✌️ the more we know, the more we can help you and your family.
So anyway… just incase you need to know what to do and are in the United States. Not everyone is aware and most people caught off guard by death, even sometimes when was expected… So it’s never easy.
Other important information: regarding Covid… remember… FEMA is offering funeral assistance, if your loved one passed away due to covid… must be listed as a cause of death on the death certificate.
There is a catch though… they will only cover the cost of the funeral IF was a true ATNEED.
Meaning there was not anything preplanned for death.
If you have Preneeds – then they will not reimburse you.
FEMA is ONLY helping families who struggled – and were hit hard by covid.
If you had a preneed, there would be no out of pocket expenses, because the funeral was already paid for.
They are strictly helping those who TRULY need help.
AND, lastly … regarding Power of Attorney. 🤦♀️
Ok … this must be a document that states in legal terms – you deem someone in particular to be in charge of your funeral arrangements and assets …
You can not just scribble some words on a piece of paper or a napkin, have that notarized and think that will work… it will NOT. Legally we have to follow the letter of the law. Don’t be sketchy.
You can create one online, or with a lawyer. Check on proper ways so your document won’t cause problems.
If your document is not accepted, then we turn to next of kin.
So anyway – that at least starts you off a little better.
Don’t be afraid of us, we are there to help you. ❤️✌️
That is the theme song to some soap opera my mother watched when I was really really little … like 3.
It reminds me of “Chef Boyardee” lol
I loved both Beefaroni and Ravioli lol … I would usually have one of those for lunch ❤️
I would be eating and I remember that song from the soap opera 🎶 and every time I hear 👂 that… I think of Chef Boyardee ❤️❤️❤️ I can replay those memories in my mind – the smells, tastes and that song – I remember those moments with that theme song lol
And that also makes me think of that same place we lived and same time … 2 or 3 years old – and my mom used to get Avon…
Usually I guess the Avon lady came when I was napping… but one day I was sick with the flu 🤒
I remember being on the couch and it was winter ❄️… I had a facecloth on my forehead and a bucket next to the couch incase I threw up.
She gave my mom the brochure and then I got to look at it… my mom let me get a cute little perfume I asked for ❤️
That is probably why I love lotions and perfumes lol ✌️😘
Anyway … funny how things make you remember. Yes I do remember being VERY young.
Anyway – just “a lifetime” ya know…
In 1980… I remember the presidential campaign against Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter lol
I remember it because of the Iran Hostage Crisis … because when Ronald Reagan won that election – they were free’d – I remember that … but in 1980 I was 8 lol … so had no idea what the issue was?? Or actually what that meant??
I remember Princess Diana and Prince Charles Wedding in 1981 because my mother was GLUED to the TV 🙄😄😄😄❤️
We do not see that sorta thing normally over here – not like that … and then my mom had fairytale glasses on lol ✌️
I also watched Prince William and Prince Harry be shown to the world
In 1982 – I loved Michael Jackson ❤️❤️❤️ omg!!! I begged and begged to stay up late to watch this segment (I believe this was the Grammy’s)
My parents said no… but I snuck down anyway and had such a hard time NOT SQUEALING ❤️❤️❤️ lol
He still excites me to see that ❤️ I love that!!
My mom did catch me lol… but she let me watch and even watched over my shoulder lol
I saw Michael Jackson in person sorta once… I don’t remember – I was not a year old yet and that was at Kings Island in Mason Ohio – he was with the Jackson 5 then … 1973 – when this was him:
My world started going to video games, breakdancing and skaters lol ✌️❤️
I saw the Challenger blow up in 1986 😮 in person sorta … we have it on home video.
We have to digitalize it
I was 13 at the time… January 1986. 8th grade.
We were 40 minutes from Cape Canaveral, Florida where the shuttle was taking off
They had us out on the school yard – and we were all excited … in Florida the space program is HUGE – Kennedy Space Center ❤️❤️❤️
We saw the lift off… and then the explosion which at first we were confused but thought maybe normal? …
Until they rushed us inside – and for the rest of the day we watched that over and over on CNN on a BIG TV in the cafeteria 😮😮😮
My mom meanwhile was video recording it from out back yard.
Then we were stunned for long time with that.
Lol… Monica Lewinsky – sorry – it was a major thing back then 🙄
And the Long Island Lolita 😮
Ugh and then Desert Storm in the 1990’s.
Oh the 90’s lol
I became a mother ❤️
I watched the World Trade Center come down 😮
Once threatened in 1993… and then taken down in 2001
I’m sorry – just posting about the things I’ve seen in my lifetime – that was a milestone … that made me sick, and sad … our world stopped just like covid did.
That was completely horrific.
An event that I can never erase
I remember I was just waking to jump in shower was 5:50 my time … my neighbor called and said turn on tv… I did – and then couldn’t speak.
I remember the bombing on my birthday too ☹️💔 July 7, 2005
I remember because was my birthday – and then it wasn’t a good day 💔
I was with the police when this was happening:
The police were being shot around the country – we had outpouring from the community … they sent food and gifts and said thank you ❤️
Once a man asked me if I was scared to wear a uniform – because while I wasn’t a police officer I still wore a uniform …
I was with a partner and this man came over to us and said to me… aren’t you afraid to wear that?
I wasn’t.
I dealt with Satan at home – a uniform didn’t scare me.
And then … my lights went out when my dad died … I won my surgery (long story) I had to fight for that! 😮😮 let just not talk about that section of time
Totally erase 2016 through … hmm 🤔 eh go ahead and do through 2020 lol
Ugh 🤦♀️ my own stuff and Trump omg and Covid
Yeah just erase those years completely.
It’s always crazy to me to think about a persons lifetime.. what did they see in their lifetime? What were the events that stick out to them – what formed them?
When I see dates of birth – I always think that – the older the life the more amazed I am ❤️ I find it fascinating ❤️
I talked to someone today about life… they were crying. We had philosophical talk.
I actually know this person. I adore them
They lack confidence in themselves but there is no reason for that – but I learn why today (but it will be fine – we love this person and we are all supportive and want them!!)
And also – they work in same business as me… this person is having problems separating from the emotional pain of loss
They can’t separate themselves well.
You have to, we have to be strong for the families and help them through this … we can’t be crying too like that.
This person is sensitive – and that’s ok … this business needs sensitivity and also emotional care … so that is a bonus – means they will be good at job because they sincerely care ❤️
They are empathetic and good with families – they have a great persona for the industry – very professional – just watch the emotions – try not to let them pour out 😘 it’s not always easy … there are occasions when you think you got it but you don’t
This person just needs to learn how to leave the heavy at work
They have a work family behind them now – any other past thing – who cares – we tight ✌️💋 we got your back
Anyway we also talked about life… because death is heartbreaking and sad … it makes your heart bleed…
You need to disconnect from death ☠️… feel the empathy but also understand that you are born and one day you will die… that is way life is… life was before you and life will be after you…
So… enjoy the moments you have now!! Enjoy the ones you with who adore you ❤️✌️
Love the ones you with.
Because we all remember :
Life is just a series of events in a lifetime.
I love to hear all about the lifetime of a person ❤️
You can really see someone’s life that way? More so than just a post like this
Also there are several life events I did not say… but the post is just what tumbled out ✌️
I have one quick story from today … only really my team and a few others have actually met me
Sometimes big wigs or people will pop in and I am out of office – so again they don’t meet me – I am like phantom lol ❤️
Today I go to the BIG funeral home cemetery… and as I was leaving I hear someone whisper
“Thats Trisha from blah blah blah” 😄😄 dammit – they know I am real now lol
Country boy bought a new house an hour away.
I’m not really sure how to figure him? And he always calls me sweetheart – I like when he does it though – the way he says it is really sweet ❤️
There is a sense of relaxed with me …that I get more recently? just a different switch with me? Just recently I notice he more relaxed with me… he always has been but just recently ?? I dunno … knows what’s in front of him?? We see ✌️
Ok so they can take whatever number they want and make it seem like it is us calling you… OUR number will go on your caller ID not theirs.
But it is NOT us calling you it is them 😮 they use numbers that are trusted 😮 or seem local
That is called “phone spoofing” … it actually has a fricken name 😡😡
Grrrr 🤬
So… the phone company, and the help desk, said to file a complaint with the FCC every time it happens so they can launch investigation – so yup I am doing that. ✌️ I have done maybe 3/4 this afternoon.
lol 😘✌️ you ready robo? Keep em coming – we reporting each one individually.
You also need to do this so that your phone number is not listed as suspected spam!!
Omg I can not have my funeral homes telephone number looking like spam!!! C’mon!!
So that’s annoying. Otherwise nothing they can do until catch someone … but check this out:
March 17, 2021: A telemarketer faces a record FCC fine of $225 million for transmitting approximately 1 billion robocalls, many of them illegally spoofed, to sell short-term, limited-duration health insurance plans. The robocalls falsely claimed to offer health insurance plans from well-known health insurance companies. Learn moreabout The Latest FCC Action
It can also give you more information about spoofing… and where to go to file those complaints ✌️
Ok and then … I had two new girls from another department that will be working with my location closer … they were under that guy who got fired
So this is really the first time we get to actually see who they are and meet with them – gave them tour of funeral home.
So… one talks and there is something familiar about her?? But I can not place it? Just something?
And then the other one says to me … where is your accent from 😮 lol
If I am comfortable and not formal – you will hear some accent I guess? Mostly New England … people always detect that area… I don’t realize I guess? Over here they say I have accent … over there they still say I have accent lol 🤷♀️
It’s many accents from the United States all rolled in one 🤷♀️ .. I personally do not hear any accent on me… I must have one though?? .. because people will comment on that
So I say where I am from… and the one who seemed familiar – she was from back East where my family is from 😮😮 … and again talking about the towns and things was like hearing home? 😮 thats where I felt familiar!!! She had that accent with some words – and when we talking … she knew the New England words we use and she knew how to properly say the towns ❤️ Massachusetts towns are not always spelled the way it sounds… like the town Leominster actually sounds like Lemon-ster
There are many others lol that is just example… unless you from New England or someone tells you – people say it wrong
Also she knew all the nicknames for places we have – we knew who was out of town’er, by what they would call certain places 😄
Actually I like them both – this will be great 🙌 I am excited!!
That was really cool 😊
Oh and this song describes perfectly the way I see … until he starts in singing about being in love with her … but how he says she is – that is me!!
Let me get the door for you ✌️ this is it exactly 😮😮
I love Train ❤️❤️❤️
Yeah I really love Train ❤️
In other news … there is this manager guy from some other location and I have to host him 🤨🙄 ugh 🤦♀️
I already am not particularly fond of him. He seems like a car salesman type? But my boss likes him so whatever 🤷♀️
He putting on some presentation at my location 🙄
Ok – we see – I’m curious to see this dude in person lol – we have never met
He is a one upper 🤨 whatever
Oh yes and my last piece of information for you this evening ❤️…
Super Flower Blood Moon 🌚 … supermoon lunar eclipse 😮
Lots of work – as soon as, I walked in!! Literally phone started at 8am 😮
Also … I am having some issues with my work phone… maybe you are familiar, or know?? If yes please share info…
So we have our phone lines … somehow someone is highjacking our phone number and all day long I got calls from people saying “we called them” .. but we did not at all 😮🤨
How is this happening? How do they do that? How do I prevent it? And I have a call into the phone company regarding this matter … but do you know how I currently fix that?!!
How do I stop them from using our number for whatever scam they pulling off ?? 🤨 how do they get in first place?? 😡
Stupid scammer people 😡🤬
Anyway… then also… a person from another department and location came to use my location for an appointment today…
She sits down next to me and tells me that her “someone” is coming to visit her and has always made a point to visit her always – she just thought she was just the favorite niece …
But she found out few years ago was actually her father. 😮😮
So anyway – she telling me this story and said he would love to meet you 😳??
I said what?? Cause you know I don’t socialize lol – I do not broadcast that and also – I’m really silent still – I do not speak. Not sure if people actually understand that?
I steer clear of everything and remain silent. Keep to self.
Also… only if you knew me prior are you aware I went silent … at work you would never know I am silent – I am not silent with my girls or handling families. The focus is not on me 😉😘 … so I am ok not being silent for that reason.
But anyway… she tells me she want me to meet him so immediately my mind is thinking ?? How to get out of this?
She continues to tell me, “he has a thing for redheads”
I’m gonna fricken dye my hair black at this point!! Red causes WAY too much attention!!!! It’s always a thing!!!
She then tells me he is contractor lol – so already my defenses and guard up – don’t trust them
Then she tells me he used to be a womanizer 😮😮 ok so then there will be NO way in HELL that will be happening!!! Nope! I’m good. No thank you
Definitely do not ever want a womanizer – immediately with that I want nothing to do with this.
Also that was weird ?? All around?? Setting me up? And with her supposed father and a womanizer – oh hell no!! Nope keep that away from me!!
My guard way the F up.
You can’t just do that. And I am not willing for that.
I also don’t date because that is MY decision – I like the peace from assholes ✌️ I do not have any problems finding men – they come to me constantly … “I” choose not to date or see anyone. That is MY decision.
I sorta have country boy?? And he’s close enough for right now.
There is no way I would give a supposed “former” womanizer a chance – as if. Don’t even try. That will not go well. ✌️ I have a fire 🔥 …so be careful ✌️
She is not aware of my silence and does not know my life.
She is from the area I actually live… where I live is where I went “fall off the face of the earth” silent.
That whole area I am silent with. She is not aware – I do not really share my personal things like that … I just remain quiet and private and stay away from all things.
I do not go out, other than work.
She’s very nice – and I do like her
But I’m gonna pass on the male womanizer – that’s an immediate NO.
She says now that he older he not that way anymore – but I do not care – I am good. She also made a comment about how many people she might be related to… No thank you. Not my style, not my type and I’m already tense and ready to defend with only the thought of that
So definitely NO!! That will not go well. And I have zero interest. Nope 👎 no way!
Hard pass!
Once again let me play this song…
IF and/or when, I find someone I click with and it’s what I want – then I am ok with someone like that.
But most just wanna get in my pants and absolutely not!! 🤨😡
I decide who comes near me – I don’t need help with that unless you keeping them away for me. ✌️
I just want my peace and silence with that right now.
But people think I should be with someone for some reason?
I just feel more at ease and at peace right now without.
And I just definitely do not want a womanizer – current OR former
If I am careful with who is around my life – you better believe I will be careful with who gonna be IN my life.
I just want peace right now.
That makes me go weirdly silent and then also – it’s the area I went silent in to begin with … I do not want to explain myself…. to anyone.
That whole thing also makes me wanna go silent more – I feel a slight panic growing with the area I live in coming into my life – I keep distance so it does not
I feel like I do not have to say anything to anyone. I like the silence
I just wanna be left alone with that currently ☹️
Everyone always thinks I should be with someone – but I don’t want to. People do not understand but whatever
I just currently like the peace ✌️ I went through a lot.
I am rebuilding and if anyone gonna come in my life – well I’m just going to be extremely careful!!!!!
So Friday night – went as usual only they forgot the switch so was a Pokemon Snap free night which was good.
Oldest loves card games but not all of us love his enthusiasm for these card games lol
The other 2 always groan and one of those 2, always complains about his brothers games lol … I sometimes pull my “mom” card lol – sorry but I pull rank as mom and you have to play lol … is family night ✌️❤️
At least one family game to play
We all played and oldest won 🤨🙄😄✌️
Lol
So then they showing me videos and they show me this one…
And this one:
This guy is awesome and funny 😄 it’s crazy to see the language translations – and hard to wrap my head around how they use their words…
It’s interesting how they said “drawers” with languages lol … I would have to do that too because I would have to NOT think of my English language but that seems hard to me… I would have to put it away to learn that 😮
Evidentially that YouTube’er who is formally from Britain 🇬🇧 just picked up and moved to Japan without knowing any Japanese 😮😮 … now he is fluent 😮
Think how hard that must be?? Or maybe it only seems hard to me? Lol 🤷♀️
While I was searching for the videos they showed me … I saw this about Canada and America 😮😄😄
I had no idea Canada wasn’t a completely independent country until 1982? I knew that they still were connected to Britain 🇬🇧 and the crown 😮 very interesting
If Canada wasn’t so cold – it sounds amazing 🙌
I do not trust my government or system. But I suppose it is a necessary evil 🤨 I definitely do not trust them!!!
I support my military men and women ❤️ whole heartedly
But is my government and way things are run that I do not trust.
I never stopped to look at Canada’s government 😮
America is definitely more free and not conforming.
Canada just feels like extension of United States? We never usually hear much about them. They pretty quiet (❤️)
We like them, we have no issues with them… they respect – we respect. They seem very much same?? Just in colder area lol
Part of my long lost family is from Canada 🇨🇦❤️ they all live in Nova Scotia
I just knew of them recently. As in maybe 2 years ago?
They are very much same as me!! ❤️ different religions but neither one of us care about that lol 😘✌️
I only really know the United States … but yes the War of 1812 ?? That is quickly mentioned in school, but moved past and not really remembered or thought about in the United States – he was right … most Americans probably know very little about the War of 1812 😮 if anything
Funny to see differences but similarities with a country right next door… I can’t imagine across the world 😮
With Mexico 🇲🇽 it’s a little more strained ☹️😮
I had no idea of this history until today 😮😮 how sad!! ☹️💔
It instantly makes me think of the Berlin Wall 😮
💔
Awww that is sad 💔
Huh 🤔
Well anyway … the videos the kids showed me Friday were about translation from English to Japanese lol
Those were funny ❤️ just because Google could not correctly translate! And made it sound weird lol
I have started checking when I use Google translate and even if I put a sentence in English correctly… I will translate it to another language … and I test it by putting what it tells me into the translation 🤨 … it is not always the same 🤨🙄 … sometimes it makes my words not make sense 🤨
So I only slightly trust Google translate … but sometimes it is kinda funny ❤️😘 … occasionally it can frustrate me if I am trying to say something! Then if I am frustrated, I just go back to English 🤷♀️
Saturday my daughter and I took a ride in the car to go get Dunkin Donuts 🍩 ❤️❤️ coffee and donuts from the greatest place ever ❤️❤️❤️
I really only want them / I don’t like any others lol 😘✌️❤️
We have 1 … only ☝️🤨
But we are in California – these people like Starbucks 😝😝
When we got there the line was crazy long 😮 oh hell no!!
What are all these California people doing at MY Dunkin?? You have your Starbucks 😝
Lol
So we didn’t get anything – just a nice ride and waste of gas 🙄😄✌️ whatever I wasn’t waiting in that!! I have Dunkin’ at home but we wanted donuts 🍩
I don’t like any of the others
But we got out ✌️😘
I will do my errands later today 🙌 because I love that on Sunday ❤️
Or actually life was just reminding me of everything!!
Sometimes when I pick songs – they fit what I mean? And sometimes I haven’t heard them in forever until I pick them…
And recently I picked a few with those qualities 😮
Today they kept being on the radio 😮 and they never play those 😮
Coincidence??
And then … so one of the things I hated about Facebook – was that it reminded me of those horrible moments – like the death of my father – hey look what happened a year ago 🤨💔💔 that is an awful feature!!
And then – when I initially got diagnosed … I posted all those raw feelings on Facebook. As is.
The entire time – I posted everything that went on. And what it felt like.
And then Facebook started to remind me of those moments too!!! 😝😝😝 I wrote it but I never want to read again – it makes me remember ALL of it.
You should be able to mark what is ok and what is not! bad memory – never remind me lol ✌️ why can’t you do that?
Well anyway… I have almost 20,000 photos on my phone lol … I mention that because I really need to clear them – but my family is in there ❤️ before they died so I don’t want to take them off ❤️ I can’t 😘
My dads death is coming up… it was June 4th – that day gives me a lump in my throat and tears 💔
It’s now been 4 years … 4 years ago at this moment I still had my parents ❤️ and my life was normal ❤️
And my phone today reminded me of those moments before my entire world crashed and forever changed …
But … right before that happened … I was with country boy … he invited me to come watch him play in Las Vegas ❤️ so yes ok … and we went
I had so much fun – and we only went to the strip one night …and had this really expensive dinner 😮😳 and walked around- didn’t really gamble much – neither one of us like crowds or gambling ✌️
Most of the trip was ALL baseball ❤️⚾️❤️ except that one night
Anyway… I was really at the epitome of happy – to the extreme! It was amazing 🙌
And then within days of getting home – my mother called to say my dad had died 😮 💔
So my emotions in those moments were very extreme! Extreme highs right before …and then it came crashing down… it just shattered my world.
One night after the funeral, my mother said “tell me something happy, let me hear happy”
So I told her about that trip. I guess my smile was from ear to ear because after I told her everything she said “you love him” … no I don’t and she said yes you do… I’ve never seen you smile like that talking about someone
She kept insisting – I kept denying and she kept smiling 🤨🙄
Anyway… he continued to take me places every so often… he would take me away from bad things like doctors and hospitals – and death.
Before everything we just enjoyed life… and then during my things he helped me to escape sometimes ❤️ he’s unique with the things he picks – or at least they are unique to me
Yes I like him. A lot. He’s known me forever. He’s been really good friend.
But… we very different
I am definitely different world than his.
He is extremely country
I love the country but I am not very country – I am hmm 🤔…
I live in the country and love the country – but I am like city girl lol ✌️💋
Lol ✌️ thats a pretty good description 😄😄😄
I am mostly city-ish … rushing to work all the time…
I definitely do not milk anything to have coffee lol …I drive a car, not a horse…
I do handle my own 💪 so I have that lol ✌️
I hate to learn cars!!! I hate everything about cars except one thing …
Or two… ok two …
I like speed … not that I speed – I go the speed of traffic ✌️
And then – I am old school…
Oh those woofers ❤️❤️❤️ boom
So yeah I kinda like to feel that entire vibration – yes so shake my world 💋✌️
😮 maybe not explode like that though 😄✌️😮
He is all country 🙌
But he’s quiet – he’s cute. He’s very cool. He is a gentleman.
But anyway… my phone reminded me of those moments right before I lost my father. I remember.
I get it … but I am uneasy about certain things. There is just something
And just like I have my own little quirks or whatever – so does he.
There are certain areas that we absolutely DO understand each other!
But typically we are each outside the others World.
I like him… but I want something. And I want to be sure. 🤷♀️ I don’t feel secure there with him. There is something.
If not secure, then I like the peace by myself ✌️
Those pictures flashed me back.
Weird to remember before 😮
I’m so busy trying not to look back.
Looking back is really hard to me cause there are so many things – and they done so – I don’t want to revisit…
My life goes on
I don’t want to look back – I love those photos because was the last moments of sheer happiness right before the extreme drop.
It wasn’t until my final surgery that I finally took a breath again… and finally saw my world brightening back up ❤️
And here I am. Yes I think it changed me… made me stronger FOR SURE!!
So ya know. We see
I don’t know.
Ugh alright bedtime again 😒
That’s all I do… wake up… go to work… work all the time… go home… go to bed and do it all over again 🤨
Ok Gnite 💋✌️💤🌙
*** I am not doing good reading or posting 🤨… I finished this last night – hit “post”… and went to sleep.
When woke this morning it said “posting failed” 🤨
Ok whatever 🙄✌️ eventually I will get it back together 😘✌️
Learning Life 