I have a people lesson for you this evening lol ✌️😘

I have been warning and warning about the dire situation and I try to explain …

They don’t comprehend my words about the situation? Right after the financial review they asking for raises 🤨

And then I helping that other funeral home, which they are mad about…

They think I am going to abandon them or something? I was not… I still work very hard for them… and I am always calling to make sure they doing ok when I am not there …

But the moment I started helping that other funeral home they began complaining to my boss about me… and even said they do not want to be in same room with me.

They started giving me attitude, and issues with things … ok well I document shit so.

It was literally same time line as when I started helping him

I also have a bit of a fire …so careful because I do for them ALOT! I also have their backs.

So when their attitude started – ok I will let it fly for a minute … So anyway sure …go ahead with that attitude.

But push it too far …and I will start to throw it back at you. And guess what – I am the manager.

You wanna work as a team, then let’s see that

Bottom line – she refuses to listen or change … so I have a funeral home that WILL go under unless something changes. She can make a choice because she will be presented with one … she will work under the best in business, at another location and learn how to do her job properly.

End of story, that’s her choice… change locations, or she can decide to leave

I was filled in today on them. My boss said do you know where the employee files are?

Yes I do

And my boss said – pull their files, look at them. (We had a lunch meeting today… my boss- me- and another office manager )

They are not good.

And then when I started to push back with the attitude also – one may have said “watch it” to the other … because I always have their backs. I stick up for them.

Suddenly last few days they nice as pie.

I do not trust them now.

I was wondering why no one liked them, but they were fine with me? Or seemed that way

People would say odd things to me about them… but ya know … I wanna know someone myself … I don’t just listen to peoples judgements 🙄 cause sometimes that’s all it is… so I just wanna see who someone is for myself.

They were fine with me, I thought, until I started helping the other home … but they are stagnant – they refuse to do anymore than already do. He is over there struggling all by himself!!

And they being selfish to not think of the team… this other place that I help… it’s in our team … of course I am going to help… I’m not gonna stand by and watch him struggle alone.

A company is not gonna put money into a location that has a deficit!! You want to be appreciated? You work for that. Otherwise you will not have a job cause location will close… do they care or not?

Ok well… I am not in high school. Sooooo … I don’t do bullshit or games ✌️💋

So do your job – I will do mine … and we save this place… or ya know… if your heart’s not in it …then you make that choice.

I don’t want dramatics and if you wanna be 2faced, take that crap somewhere else. I need a good strong team not drama.

That goes down Friday.

Also 🤨 … life has played a song constantly for me …every time I got in the car

It was this song:

For the past month every time I get into car that comes on 😮😳

Normally I never hear that song ever – just interesting … does life give clues?

They gave me a laptop today since I have the 2 locations. That will help.

Ok I’m off – good night 🌙💤

Ps … we are supposed to have a double meteor shower this evening just before midnight – but we have had cloud cover and we are now surrounded by fires 😳 so we have smoke now too… it was settling in the valley today … we have fires literally all around us now 🤨

🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

So I do not know if I will see the meteors or not – if I do …I will be wishing on all those shooting stars lol … I don’t believe there is a limit on how many I can wish on lol 😘✌️

IF I can stay up that late lol ✌️😘

I am not home yet – am at 1/2 way point.

Getting gas and responding to work lol 🤫

But omg wait til I tell you about socializing 😮

Oh just wait!!

I can’t wait to tell you!! Ok I be back

It’s just gonna be that 😮

So… my clock 🕰 ticks down to Friday 😳

It will not go well. I already know.

It’s gonna be bad. I can think positively all I want to… but it’s gonna be bad.

My stomach kinda turns for Friday to come!! 😳😮

Tomorrow I have to be with the other funeral home … and Wednesday … and Thursday lol … and then Friday back at mine – and down comes the hammer 🔨 😮

Tmrw I have to go- because they lost phone and internet … so I am going over to handle that, while he helps families.

Wednesday is my normal day there

And Thursday, no one has a choice, because my location will not have electricity (the power company doing maintenance)

And Friday 😳😬 will round out the week. 😳

Ok.

So… this week will rock my world 😳

😳 ok… Friday is coming 😮 this is the one week, that I wish for Friday to take FOREVER!! Take you time Friday – no rush

My boss wants a meeting with me tmrw, about Friday – I will know details to stress about for rest of week 😝

Ok so Friday is coming 😟 it’s not gonna be good.

There is that.

And then, ya know I just wanna peacefully come home and not be social…

Most days, neighbor guy just sits out front – then he sees me and he always wants to chit chat… I will be nice and polite

But there is something creepy about him, to me?? I just get really uncomfortable vibe with him.

And it doesn’t help that he’s always boom right there. That creeps me out ALOT!

And on my drive home I was thinking about ugh 😑 he’s gonna be right there and then he will wanna chat 😑 ugh

So to my excitement when I pulled in – they were not home 🙌 ahhhhh …

But then they pull in and he’s yelling hello 😑

I said “Oh hi how are you?” And I was off and inside

I don’t mind his wife – most of the time… I keep a distance with her too, but not as much. Just because she can be little too much for me. She is little needy and different emotionally

My emotions are different from hers. ??

I just wanna come home and relax in peace ✌️❤️ I work so hard and have so much …so I just like my down time. I just wanna be silent

But he just kinda makes me uncomfortable … I don’t really hide it … I can’t really? I just don’t wanna be around him 😮 I don’t know what it is???

So my convos are short… one or 2 words… and then I run off as fast as I can.

It’s awkward – but whatever … I don’t wanna socialize at all!

They love to socialize!! Sometimes I wonder if they waiting for me to get home 😳

And late at night he’s sometimes out and about with his dog so that creeps me out too.

It’s just really creepy.

… And …

I have to socialize after work tmrw 🙄 … I have to go check out some new reopening … is a huge reception hall and rooms for banquets… very well known and prestigious club – so I have to go to that tmrw night

Ok well – I’m going to aim for the business so… 😳😮 ok socializing …

I already said I can’t stay for whole thing… it’s until 8pm!! And… I wouldn’t get home til 9, and have to be back at work at the crack of Dawn! – that’s a no!

I need my peace and beauty sleep lol 🙌✌️😘

So I will make appearance and quickly charm, show support, make a impression and duck out lol 😘✌️

Alright so tmrw – must look amazing 🤩

I have to deal with contractors and IT all day tmrw… all dressed up … and then go socialize 😳

Ahhh … and the week begins.

We are approved overtime to attend the function so yes… yes I can socialize lol ✌️

Still though – it’s Friday this week that makes me most nervous… my mind is already with Friday 😮

Friday is gonna throw down 😮😳 so we see what happens – Friday could determine everything!!

Ok well… it’s late

I have to sleep – my eyes are stinging and tmrw I have to be out late due to socializing 🤨

I’m falling asleep – I am catching myself this evening 😮

Ok good night 😘

Yesterday I tried running my errands at night … on Saturday

It was even more dead because is Saturday night and the evenings are just beautiful … no one wants to be running errands when you can be enjoying your Saturday night lol

So I went out to do that on Saturday … just like last week – but last week I did not wait for evening and ran into people 😮

I just like to lay low and fly under the radar – not be noticed. I just don’t want a big deal … I like peace lol ✌️😘

I have kept myself very elusive, so it becomes a big deal when people see me 😮 … because most have not seen me emerge in years lol … I feel protective in those situations – I like to have my privacy. Is good to see … is like sight for sore eyes… but I’m very private so I don’t like to share too much or say much.

So I just try to work around that, so that does not happen too much.

Last week I enjoyed getting errands out of the way on Saturday and then Sunday I just clean house ❤️

I was doing errands normally on Sunday … but then that makes me work before work lol … so I am liking Saturday for errands – I might stick with that? Seemed good?

But we see if that is consistent 🤨🙄😄

So today I am cleaning house.

Every week I get ready for week coming 😳😮 cause I never know what will come down 😮

I have to be ready to ride that shit lol ✌️😄

I bought a package of Skittles yesterday that is ALL gray ❤️❤️❤️ you still taste the rainbow 🌈 but the color is removed ❤️❤️

Nice one Skittles ❤️ … the package reads “Only one rainbow matters during pride”

I’m not sure which direction they mean ?? Because there are many lol

But whatever I like it ❤️

I’m pretty sure it’s for gay pride? But it also works for removing color from our prejudices 🙌❤️ 2 birds one stone

Really cool – still tastes like Skittles

Now if they did that to M&Ms lol … I prefer the green ones lol 😄😄🤷‍♀️

😄😄❤️✌️

But I have had a thing with green M&M’s since I was little 🤷‍♀️ I used to sort the bag and ONLY eat the green ones lol

I eat whatever color now… but I am still partial to green …even though it is literally NO different lol 🤷‍♀️✌️

Anyway… I have to do stuff so I can be done, chill and be ready for week.

I’m just dragging my feet and being lazy lol ❤️❤️❤️🙌 ahhhh

Sunday ❤️ my day of rest ❤️✌️

So … the situation is… I have finally got the reports and books settled and perfect…

And there is a lease on the property … a dumb lease which also says we are responsible for all repairs – the building is old and falling apart.

The first of the month BOOM huge rent payment and god forbid, any repairs needed – which have been a lot! The roof, water heater, a/c etc

Plus all the other normal operating costs of the funeral home – and also supplies…

It’s a lot!

It’s not profitable. They have a deficit.

Ok so… the lease is up come next year.

This funeral home been in operation in this area, as long as, everyone can remember. It is a fixture. A comfort – well known – we handle many repeat families

But the market is also saturated with new crematories and other new CHEAP careless or shady funeral homes (you do get what you pay for)

There is many things

In one year when this place comes up for renewal… corporate is going to look at it and see that deficit – see it not being profitable and close it.

Do they want that to happen?

So it has to be turned around to survive.

Also… let me say… for the work we do… they do not pay enough. That is absolutely true

My girls saw how much the CEO makes and then there are no raises or good bonuses …

For Christmas they tell us “we gonna give you $500 for thanking you through covid and being team players ❤️

But with taxes and things it ended up like $200 (but that’s still $200 you didn’t have before) but I do understand what they mean. We struggle

And the corporation used as write off.

The CEO makes insane amount of money, while we break our backs without the things we need.

So … they don’t care – because the corporation doesn’t care about them.

I get it.

But they don’t care that this place closes or not… they not willing to give anymore than they currently do, because they say it lines the companies pocket

It’s business

Not friendship

But you looking at closing a pillar in the community. And I have it strong now… so all I have to do is bring business in which I know I can… meh – I will have to be social. 🤨 but ok fine – I am willing to save this.

If becomes profitable – they can have raises – we can’t give raises when they don’t make money.

They can have whatever they want – if profitable.

I have one who is very – angry and vicious with not doing anything else for this company. She feels unappreciated by them.

I have tried to make both of them feel appreciated and they do … from “me”

But that means nothing because I am not the corporation. My appreciation is disregarded.

If you are going to work for a corporation, then you should understand that it is a corporation… they do not care – their bottom line is profit.

To be a corporation there must be a flow of money. That must be coming in… you don’t hold on to something that is bringing you down. In any situation actually. Welcome to life ✌️

One will retire and the other says will just go somewhere else, as if it is nothing.

They always say they love what they do, but do they? Are those words sincere?

You lucky to have a job – but they say there are many better less demanding jobs with better pay… yet stay and complain

They sinking the boat 🛶

And then… we have a strong team … a job you enjoy coming to… if make profitable it will be better and if not then you make your choice, but we have a chance to save it.

I can’t do it by myself though. I need them onboard.

So ya know …

They don’t care.

And also recently – I have been telling them the position we are in so that they do want to help save it… because I care about them, I care about this job – I love this job and I drive all the way here because I love to work with them.

And my boss called me yesterday morning and said be careful with them – watch my back 😮… they complained I am saying too much … never did they say anything to me that it bothered them – and I am trying to make them understand it’s dire.

But ok – I see. I gotcha ✌️

And there is why corporations do not care. Just make the money. Or don’t and don’t have a job.

I’m a little hurt that they want to be appreciated and I give that to them – yet it means nothing. Are they ever happy?

I am not the one they want appreciation from. So my appreciation doesn’t matter

And then… I’m trying to have a close tight team – I help them … I know what’s going on with their stuff.

They complain about the greed of the corporation … but they are similar.

If you don’t like it, and don’t want to be there – then what do you care? And a corporation is supposed to care about that?

So whatever – is sad

So… I have a location that unless they willing to do something – is going to go under.

It’s been a mess for years!! Even before me. I just cleaned and organized it up…to see clearly

In one year it will be over for that location. So unless they work with me that is the future and they will care even less because what is point. Anything I ask will be answered with whatever closing anyway, what do I care?

That’s just sad

I have the other location too… with a strong worker who is down with working and dedication. Also tired from corporation, but driven and serious. Very conscientious and knows his stuff.

I go and help him too …every Wednesday I am over there helping him… he is only one over there. ☹️

I try to go help when able. I handle his funeral home reports and things he needs too.

My girls don’t like that either. And they mad about that too. They think the corporation is going to take me away – they say they have seen before

Ok well then let’s save this… but they are not interested in my appreciation or what I have to say. They don’t care at all.

So ya know – whatever … if they don’t care … I don’t really care if they are mad I am also helping another … they don’t want to try for me and I have one that will.

They went through what he is going through – but they only care about their own comfort- not anyone else’s 😮 they don’t care that he struggles by himself, and they went through that so they know what it is like… and they just revel in their own comfort… not as a team. That’s why going under.

So anyway. Whatever. “People”

Be mad then… I am offering a chance to fight for what they say they love. And to destroy because they wouldn’t try?

So whatever – I see it many ways. Understood. ✌️

Hello…

Disclaimer – written while exhausted last night … I just keep falling asleep the minute I sit down at home 😳

Ok so… work is just unknown for right now… we are handling all 3 funeral homes – so far so good… but the hammer hasn’t dropped yet – not that I want it to… but it is inevitable 😑 it’s comin

It would take a miracle 😮

I want to believe in one, but I don’t know… because I am the only one. Well me and one other really … but even that other has had it. Is driven though just like I am – same cloth lol

I’m not sure if we can pull it off or not? And they are tired

So… I don’t know – we spread thin.

I will pep talk them and tell them we can do it as a strong team let’s show them…

One completely doesn’t believe … but the other gave me a glimmer 😮

She asked me did I really think I could do it… yes I can.

But I should have asked her, if I do this – can you handle it – the pressure will be on?

I know they can but if we do this we pour everything in – so… I am not sure if they too tired to put all that in, and what if didn’t work?

I would have worked them to death 😮 for a corporation that doesn’t care

Can we all handle it without the things we need? I don’t know? We have already been through a lot 😮

We see if I can convince them. But they have to want it – if they don’t want it … it won’t work. So. I won’t have a prayer 😮

Somewhat cryptic but that’s the gist lol

But they have to decide … do they want to, and do they have the energy?

I want to… at least try? Plus I present my side with infectious enthusiasm lol ✌️😘 … like I am a coach before a big game ✌️lol

So we see – I don’t want to kill them 😮 I also love my moments with them and what a story it would be ❤️

But we see

Can I lead them and do they have it in them? 😮😮 😘✌️ … do you wanna come try with me? lol

Fun stuff huh?

I just don’t know if I can make them want it? So we see

They have to want it themselves! Not just me … so we see

I think maybe I am convincing – I have ideas … but again I need them to understand what will come – I want them to know reality, before they tell me a yes

So we see

Can I give them strength? Let’s see ??

Then my neighbors wife asks me outside for a minute 😳

Her sister has breast cancer and doesn’t want to have them removed… so I told her give her my number

I can show her reality. I would do it all again even though I remember that hell – but as soon as they said cancer I said take them. Get them off – time bombs. No thank you

So yeah give her my number

I have photos through that journey. I can show her so it does not scare her – only save her life.

She’s young. Give her my number definitely. Or give me hers. Either way. She can tell me no or not.

It helped me… but to each their own.

Be ready.

If you have a chance – you go hard. ✌️

And one cute thing – I took a call from someone who lost a spouse (😢) and this person is the most adorable person ever!

I answered the phone and they speaking in terms we do not use 😮😃

Like …I would never call someone’s loved one a “corpse” 😮 … and other stereotype death type terms lol – ones we do not normally use lol

I am used to them using those words now, but is funny – the terms throw me off for a second at first 😮😄

They are very adorable and scientifically matter of fact lol love them!! ❤️

Anyway… do I have energy? Nope… I am exhausted – energy drained!!

Definitely need sleep 😴 my head will hit that pillow and I will be out

I am on call tonight 🤫

Good night 💋✌️

Hello again – I am here briefly with updates 😳 some good.. some bad 😮

Alright so lost employee today. 😮

I don’t even know what to say?? What in the world?? But whatever ok

And then… I am at the other location … was supposed to be little while but ended up being all day long!!

Also we trying something… I am now co office manager with another girl I like and we handling all 3 – they approve overtime ❤️

I will take over reports for all 3 homes – my reports are flawless … I have every documentation!! And I don’t mind the reports … it’s a lot of work because I have to pair it with the documentation … I will also handle the repairs on buildings since I went through that with the air conditioning units at MY location

One of the locations needs that done for theirs – it’s the largest… it’s a $20,000 job. I have to find someone for that location. Tmrw I be at that location again.. I will do that tmrw…

I am having meeting with the other co manager with me tmrw … so we can go over everything

So we see this could work… quite beautifully 🙌❤️ we see

Oh and 🙄… I have to dress up for Halloween this year 🙄… we see…

I used to all the time and used to love it… but eh. I haven’t in years and what?? I don’t know if I’m in the mood – we see … I have time before this thing lol 🙄

I have to see what theme my girls picked for the location – I let them pick. 😳

We can’t do certain ones because they can’t be same as other funeral homes 🙄

We have to dress up and decorate hearse 🙄 for Halloween and trick or treat out the back of the hearse 🙄

Whatever lol – we see.

And then ya know there were just a lot of things going on today.

So. 3. Back to 3 lol … but that also opens me up to having assistant ❤️❤️❤️ 😮😮😮

“Look what I can do” 😮

And then we need one good director!! We have to find that

Do you know how hard that is? Dedication and drive are very hard to come by.

So we see. Let the games begin

Lol ✌️

I feel quiet.

Ex is also starting shit again so hmm

When does karma come? Please stop – I feel an overwhelm ness come over me with any of that.

So anyway – ya know – I just be quiet. I still love life. But is the way I cope so I can handle, so many heavy things – ya know – get a grip lol ✌️ it’s fine

Everything is just alot – but I’ve got it.

You have to keep a balance somewhere – I don’t have a very good balance at this very moment.

Ok well – I have to sleep again – more stuff tmrw 😮 ok good night 😴💤

Btw… I have a strong spirit always … plus I know what a gift life is so … I’m always fine – I just share and record moments ✌️😘❤️ – I learn my life ✌️ life is not always grand or perfect – sometimes it sucks lol … but whatever – you roll with what you got

I hate when people say – when life throws lemons, make lemonade 🤨🙄 – that is an annoying saying for some reason ?? But whatever – life needs to stop throwing stuff

Good morning .

I think I am strong – but not really – only little.

My mom had something called:

Transient ischemic attack

I guess that is somewhat normal with Alzheimer’s 💔

I think because I work for a funeral home and see death everyday that I will be ok… and I already have lost her anyway.

She doesn’t remember any of us now

On one hand, that’s my mom… and like a 5 year old – I don’t want her to leave me at school!! I want to run after her and just cling to her leg!! Don’t leave!! Please stay

But I know life does not work that way.

And she has already been taken from me – I can never have her back 😭💔 so whatever

Ok I can’t talk about that any more because it makes me cry – shhh … it makes my heart bleed from inside

(Luckily I work for a funeral home and crying is normal) – not unusual ✌️

Also yesterday, I had employee issue – a very difficult one. So that sucks!! I like this person – I don’t what is going on with them?

Is serious. So that stuff is not cool. It puts me in a position.

Not only with my own job but everything so … that sucked!! Dude why?

Whatever …

And then… ya know – my marriage was abusive… so he had issues with jealousy so … in order to deal with that…

I just removed the threat… didn’t really help but was better ish

I wasn’t thrown across the room and beaten all the time so that was a bonus … and peace ✌️ sorry if that’s hard to read – whatever

Anyway… so I had all the pressure of losing my dad and grandparents, as well as, losing my mom to Alzheimer’s… and then my cancer diagnosis and Satan …

So I initially isolated to just get the F away from everyone 😘✌️ just being honest ✌️

I just wanted peace.

And then at work I am able to kinda hide away ❤️🙌

And then Satan with his shit – I just want peace.

So … anyway… there is a point to that – I am showing you larger picture 😘✌️

So… that brings me to this..

I ran into the police officer friend on Sunday.

And then yesterday…

Well there is that foreigner guy who comes and helps me with repairs and things at the funeral home… he is playful

I always keep the convo professional though

Even though he is playful – I think he tries to see if I will react … I don’t – plus I am flirty and funny lol… that’s just my personality – that’s why I hide it, reason to be silent ✌️ because no!

It would just be off the rails! Trust me – you do not even know – let me continue …

So he’s really flirting yesterday … but ya know … I am a girl with sayings lol…

Never dip your pen in company ink lol … so there is that

I work here and I enjoy working here – so I won’t destroy that ✌️ just in case – I am always careful!

And then… on my way home I HAD to stop at the gas station I used to go to 😮

My face was puffy from crying yesterday… and my make up was gone. Full glory freckles lol 😑

Anyway… I went in to pay for gas and went to get a drink too – it’s hot 🥵

As I was looking at the drinks … he came over and he said to me “Hey lady, I miss you, please come back and see me more, I miss seeing your face”

😳😮😮😮

I stay away and keep distance because I am American? I don’t want to hurt him or have him misunderstand me?

And I know the dude is all in 😮😮😮… if I ever said yes – he is signed, sealed, delivered 😮😳

Whew.

He is kind soul … and he is sincere type…

But he doesn’t know me at all – just quickly when I run in and I am quiet – I only smile and be polite

Trust me I keep distance! For these reasons!

Ok so yeah he wants to know me

And as I left again he say “please come back. I miss your beautiful face!”

You see why I am cautious now?

Ok I have to run… I be back tonight hopefully 🙏

At DA’s office gotta go

Sometimes life does not like the way you handle things, so it will push you lol

Life is pushing me 🤨

First with work cause that’s all crazy currently 🤨 so who knows what’s coming with that 😮😮

I love the job… it has given me peace and let me hide away ❤️ it helped me through covid and come to terms with the deaths I already experience – it removed the fear of death for me. ❤️✌️

So I don’t know what will happen there – it’s almost like life is pushing me to actually have a life and I don’t want that lol … I like being hidden away ✌️ I like my peace and silence

I have felt protected – so we see 😳

And then … with CB … I literally just stopped that whole thing because no!!

And then today … I had to do a work errand really early this morning… so I just ran all my errands today instead of tmrw – I thought it would be fine.

There is a reason I do Sunday night – because no one is out on Sunday nights so is nice and peaceful and no one sees me lol 🙌❤️

Sometimes I forget my reasoning… and then remember when things happen lol

I ran all my errands and went to stop at the post office …

Someone says “HeY” after I walked by … but I do not turn around for “Hey” because guys do that constantly and no!!! So I ignore and keep walking

But then I hear “Trish” 😮😳 ok that makes me turn around lol

It was that police officer I am friends with who used to ask me out all the time before covid. 😮😮

He is really sweet! I was just not expecting to see anyone and he caught me by surprise 😮

I hugged him though 😊🥰 was good to see him – his humor matches mine so I miss the funniness

But I am cautious with him and don’t think much about it…

He likes women lol (duh but alot) …so that’s a thing for me – I just don’t want playboy, so not sure where he is with that 🤷‍♀️

And he has a sexual tension energy?? You know 50 shades of gray 😳😮

Yeah he’s like that kinda 😮 and I am just kinda quiet lol … so high caution on that one

But I find it funny – because it is like life or god is totally laughing and having a great time putting me in situations recently 🤨🙄

See!!! It’s pushing

I’m just trying to be all quiet and unnoticed lol … I fail miserably at that!! Really bad!!!

I was liking my little peaceful world bubble ❤️ it’s been nice ❤️

I am safe ✌️

Now life trying to make me come back to life lol

I stopped my life with the cancer and haven’t really come back since because of the abuse … I just feel better when safe ✌️

I know it’s not normal. I am aware of it. Whatever, it’s been a great bubble ❤️ I have loved the peace? I love it very much!

And life trying to throw me back into life lol

It allowed me to go silent – and it gave me moment to breathe when covid hit (❤️) covid allowed me to survive because of it. And … it’s given me a safe bubble to be in ❤️…

It has allowed me to shut down and come to terms, grow stronger and make my life.

Now all of the sudden 😳😮… it’s throwing things at me for change decisions 🤨 😮 it does not wanna keep waiting for me to be ready … but what if I don’t want to?

Ugh 🤦‍♀️ I hate life lessons!!!! I hate when it does these things

I really love peace – so I do not like when life …tries to make me live it lol ✌️

It’s been a long time since ?? I don’t know? Wasn’t silent?

In business – I am fine – operate completely normal… social no problems … organized and handle – perfectionist with details ✌️ I am confident with work.

At home – organized and clean – always smells nice because I love coming home and having my home smell amazing ❤️ it smells like home ❤️❤️❤️❤️

But on my own time out in public or socially – I am in complete silence. I am polite but more soft spoken and quiet

I just keep to self. I don’t do social media – except this, I stay away from news mostly – but sometimes getting ready for work,I will have the news on – and then remember why I do not watch the news ✌️ lol

Whatever just sharing

But life trying to push me forward 🤨 ooohhh

So much things, omg whew! Also moving eventually

It’s not like I can take my time and just handle one thing at a time … no it’s throwing everything at me all at the same time!!

Stop! I like to ease into things lol … easy… slow. I will jump if I feel I can easily get a grip. If I believe in it. But usually I am not a jumper … 🤔 am I?

I do not think so?

I am just cautious. With everything so. I’m pretty sure life wants me to not be slow and start living life again 🤨

I just have to figure out how this is going to go.

Also if I get more money or larger position ? It could hurt me with buying the home 😮

I know to keep my distance with other things. 😉 I am skilled keeping distance ✌️

Oh and yesterday neighbor guy sees me coming home from work and pretends to leisurely walk over … and make small chat 🤨… hey there trisha how is work going? You been working a lot.

Ok I do not want to tell this man any tiny thing!! He will blab it everywhere – so no!! Seriously the tiniest thing and he will act like he has the inside scoop and knows all about you 🤨 ok no!!!

Definitely silent with this man.

And then he ask me if my landlord raised MY rent because of electric (they use absurd amounts of energy… I don’t)

She didn’t – but I’m not telling him nothing. I just said oh I don’t know I haven’t checked my mail… I know nothing.

But still he stands there and starts telling me about ??? I do not even know? Kilowatts? Blah blah blah blah … ok well I hear what he says but what do you want me to do?

And you should also know that he comes over to my house like that NOT wearing a shirt! 🤨

Ok ya know… this is why I avoid

So it just seems like everything coming at me all at once.

I am used to having change… but I just like where I find peace and feel safe, and I want to keep that.

In business I’m pretty strong. I can do change … but where is that gonna put me? It’s certainly not gonna lock me away anymore if I leave 😮 … if I stay will it be ok?

So I just have to figure that one out.

And life will just not leave me alone personally! It just keeps coming always – it does not let up!!

Even when I hide away 😮

Anyway… just saying – life is being pushy currently.

Ok well we lost track of time earlier with video games lol 😮❤️

Oh and I have the app for the blog on the tablet … I don’t use it on the tablet because I find it clunky – I am slow with it – where I am faster on the phone. Easier and smoother!!

Anyway – the app is on this tablet that is not  apple… the iOS is clunky to me. So I don’t wanna bother looking for how to fix something or taking the time to do that lol – whatever

But because the WordPress app is on there… it evidentially does notifications lol … I didn’t know that because I must have that off on my phone – it doesn’t do that – I get notifications but not crazy lol

So my daughter was here in the house and the tablet was going off alot lol …

I’ve been hearing it for about a week … I don’t know what the tablet does … whatever – it dings for some reason lol

And when I came in she asked me about the tablet noise – at the time she asked – I was not aware was because of the blog lol

It was only after a succession of dings that she groaned and then I see the blog and knew lol ahhhhh mystery solved

It was funny though ❤️

Ok Gnite 😘✌️❤️