I miss coming here … I’m sorry I am absent lately… got my ass kicked by moving and working at same time lol – I do not recommend doing that by yourself… my boys came and help me with large things.
My home is in boxes and I can’t find anything – am little jumbled. Little overwhelmed with society and 2022 rushing back into my life – I have been in peace with 1985 😘✌️not sure what I think about all that. I will tell you about that soon
I am so exhausted, haven’t really had downtime and when I have come here to try to write … I will be writing post and just fall asleep and then the vicious cycle continues lol
Other stuff happens so I wanna start again… then fall asleep – etc etc
I am so exhausted …
I will be back…
I aim for every night but probably Saturday??
I just can’t keep self awake… I am up before the sun… get as much as possible done before racing all around and then it’s dark… between work and going through things trying to find my shit lol … omg … my outfits are creative lol … and I am finding treasures along the way… both my own and new ones 🙌
I went to put trash out one night and turned on outside lights and there was this 😮 … I am still learning the house and lots of fixes needed but that’s ok. I still like it
The neighbors are nice
One neighbor takes my cans down on garbage day and takes them up for me too 😮😊 … I guess because I work so early and come home so late ⏰ he be nice – very thoughtful!
Ok I have to go – I am still alive – I will be back
I already remember moving – and so does my body 😮 I wonder how I will look back?? I still kinda just stare around 😮
And it kinda big all by myself 😮 it’s great when kids are here – but when is me all by myself – it’s really huge and it seems so quiet – which I like … and peaceful … I love it … but there is a sense of ?? I don’t know? I got my salt 🧂 in the corners lol
So … every part aches and hurts – omg every muscle 😮 oh boy can I feel every part!! I could barely move this morning -it’s that ache that reminds you – you don’t work that out lol
Ok so there is that… I am sore AF!! I am not a spring chicken lol
Alright well – you know – it was a weekend with more cases – I told you not to die!!
It’s been really amazing waking up in the house… so I kinda have 2 sides to it though?? I stare at everything and just smile – I flash everything that happened to get this far – what I had to walk through … that give me weird, but good feeling… I dunno?
I feel joy but then … I feel sick to my stomach – which is fine… it will be good
Weird thing happened yesterday? I was moving stuff into house and the neighbor out – I waved and went to maybe exchange numbers? Since are neighbors? But he saw me and ran away?? 😮 ??
Um ok – I’m not scary I promise 🤷♀️ but whatever
Also … back your shit up Russia! What is wrong with people (aka leaders?) ugh just back it up – leave them alone – don’t be bully or asshole!!
I’ll be back to tell you more … but I have to run back to my other place that has all my stuff lol … and then get loads of stuff to bring here – I gonna be doing that this weekend.
I also have someone coming at 1pm (from work) 😮 because he has a landscaping business so he gonna come look at the yard and maybe do that for the first time – and then I can keep up after that… but the first time I’m gonna need help 😮
I have never had anyone from work come see where I live – EVER 😮 that’s a little weird having someone from work come over. But whatever – I need the help … I’m just very very very private with my home life
I will have to pay him to do the yard lol … I tell him “listen, I’m poor now so don’t kill me with the quote” lol
If he is too much, then I will have to try myself … yard is large and hasn’t been tended to in little while 😮
But even though I do not look like the type (lol) I will BE the type if I have too!! I just be slower and it be harder… I don’t have much upper chest strength… and I’m not allowed to do any heavy lifting or stuff like that … I won’t … but that makes it harder… I just need help maybe first time 😑
I don’t like that I can’t do everything 😮 I don’t like that I have limitations because of things!! That drives me insane because I would like to do everything! Myself!!!
But I must digress 🤨🙄
Ok I have to go. Maybe I be back tonight? 🙏
Ugh I can’t wait til moving is done… I work and I like to have one day for errands and one day to catch up on ALL the sleep!! but … for now – nope… I have too much to do.
Oh how I wanna be lazy and sleep for one day!! 💤 … work hard now – play later
Ok let me do this before I get in the mode where I am slow lol 👋
First of all – so many things swirl about!! I am signing all papers and turning over deposit tmrw and then is completely mine😮
So we are thrilled and excited!! Daughter wants her room a dark purple lol … ok whatever … but then in same breath she says … but I don’t wanna mess it up because that’s gonna be my color, so white is nice too 🙄😄 whatever
Then she starts talking about all the things she wants for her room lol… I said “hey wait, I just spend a lot of money so slow your roll” lol … she can get a job in June/July with a permit… she will be 15 & 1/2… little darling if you want stuff, earn it 😘✌️ know that value of a dollar 💵
We sooo excited for that ❤️ I move in completely maybe this weekend ❤️❤️❤️ 😮😮 omg
I also met other neighbors – is a family… they seem very nice. Young family. 2 young young kids
Is so peaceful and just awesome – can’t wait ❤️ I did it ❤️
So happy and excited with that…
But at work there was this devastating case that kinda tore our hearts out for a family… they all do but this one was the most emotional and heart wrenching I have ever experienced being there!! 😮
It just hit us hard with the loss and circumstances… so that makes me remember every detail and then I think – could I handle that?? I do not think so?? 😮 that would be my kryptonite – would take me down for sure
But then I think – when you experience these things in life – you really do not have a choice to be strong or not – because you just have to.
And then also – I believe things happen for reasons … I want to say what could the reason for this be?? But then you really can’t say that either. You won’t get answer … and what is to be, will be
It was just a very heart wrenching thing 💔 broke our hearts 💔 … so a little solemn there because just in thought processing that.
Normally I can come home and be off work… but I can’t stop thinking of that. ☹️💔
…and… check this out – so my people keep telling me to do online dating but eh… I dunno … it’s a little creepy and also they no different… same shit just online… and I’m really not the type to be doing the soooo where ya from? 50 thousand times lol – ugh 😑
Not to mention – I really don’t have the time and who’s gonna understand that?? Lol … also I just wanna enjoy my own self for little while ❤️ I just wanna soak in the peace just by myself and nice and easy… maybe later
But anyway… they constantly tell me – do online… I just make faces 🤪… because I just really don’t like it. I’m just not an online person. I like my 1985 😘✌️
One of the guys at work says that’s how he met his wife … on something called Bumble
Well anyway … I watched some news this morning and there was this news report:
So that’s gonna be a hard no lol… nope… no thank you!!!
Not a chance!! They all just got shut down with that online dating crap… yeah I would like to stay alive…
I’m supposed to trust police or courts … HA!
I love my own police but still they all human… and I look at cases like Gabby Petito which they handled completely inappropriately!! A blind man could see but whatever
And in this case ?? 😮😮 was that racial? Why did the police not take better care and control of that situation – wtf is that?? And where is the massive coverage on this case???
Gabby Petito had massive coverage and then that crapped out because everyone was dead 🤨 and the police allowed the deaths in both instances … gonna blame the victim and couldn’t recognize domestic violence … and then to not have surveillance on the last person to see her – real nice!!
So yeah – I am good – I am not trusting anything to courts, police or government. I do not trust the way things are handled because people can not have integrity. So nope
Integrity – there’s a word for you…
…the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. To do the right thing – even when no one is watching.
So yeah – I do not trust people to be that way. So I protect own self – no one gonna do that for you. Don’t put self in situations that could go horribly wrong 😮
I would like to NOT be a customer of my job… not for quite awhile if possible 🙏🙏
So you have killers, Satans, abusive, crazy, obsessive, sex driven … so umm does that sounds appealing to people?
And then… I was thinking about something??
So… even while married I always took care of self, never let go – no matter how hard was … I still make sure ate right and exercised and took care of skin etc… I still do… mostly 😘✌️
And then for work I dress all up professionally … I do like curves so I accentuate that… I like that, I don’t care what anyone else likes – is how I am comfortable … I like when is form fitting. A really nice form fitting suit with skirt … or even pants suits – but I still like the curves … when I do not show curves I feel frumpy?? I like definition? Curves so whatever – I have long legs too… I think I am average height? 5’7” … I don’t think I am short… and as long as I do not wear heels 👠 I am normal size lol … there is a point to me mentioning this…
So … a man jokingly said something to me 😮 … ugh whatever … you a woman this gonna happen 🙄🤨 just does… but he was sorta teasing (I really hope) but he said to me “I bet you’re a freaky one huh”??!
Sooo hmm… how I gonna answer that? How you want me to answer? Lol … you want me to tell you “ahh yeah freaky af” lol c’mon now, I am not gonna say anything. Where you think you gonna take that? 🤨
See … always sex driven … always always always!! Which is fine, once you HAVE a relationship… but hello – slow your roll!!!
I’m not gonna tell you one way or another lol … if wanna know maybe be a gentleman first 😘✌️ have some manners and respect
And then he’s like … you got Snapchat or I dunno what else you internet people have ?? He mentioned others – but I can’t remember what they were … he spouted off many?? Lol … Whatever … nope, I have none of that – I don’t even know what they are lol
Funny how he thinks I gonna give him any answers or information… and before you even get there … you gotta catch my attention so whatever.
Shock value doesn’t really work, I’m not really shocked by peoples behavior 🙄 whatever – guys are like this … pretty much all the time – no one is chill with that…
You can’t just come out with that!! 😮 damn!
I don’t go out anywhere or do anything, maybe once in blue moon. I’m too exhausted from everything else to give my time or give off any freaky vibe lol … if freaky means exhausted, then yes 😄 I have that vibe all day long lol
What am I doing that gives off these looks???
So what is that?? Both were men… both making judgments based on what?? How you think you know me??? because of what I look like?? 🤔
Are you profiling me?? 😮 state your proof before your judgement lol … how you just gonna judge? How you come to these conclusions?
Regarding outdoor yard Maintenence … just because I look ?? How?? How you know I not roll up sleeves and get all dirty ?? You don’t know that!! I totally could… so why you judge?? Just because I look girly ?? I don’t mind dirty nails 💅 sweat 😓 or hard work – bring it – just don’t kill me lol 😄✌️ or have anything bite or sting me lol … I just have to add that!! I would prefer no biting or stinging or killing lol
And then speaking of dirty… bets I’m a little freaky?? Hmm
You should make sure you know the woman you are approaching lol … see this is why they teach you to do homework in school – know your shit!! 😘✌️ … I see many failed that lesson… but seriously – if you gonna say that then you better know who I am and if I am ok with that.
Do you think is ok to say that to a woman? Even when joking? So I dunno?
Are you freaky? 🤨 …see that’s not a very nice question … what if someone asked you that?right away? lol… what would you say?? Oh yes here let me tell you everything? Lol …no!!!
Lol … sorry now is little humorous since I think of that song – but still not nice … so then that’s your agenda? Got it … see …be careful how early you go for that bone – take your time … that gonna make ME form an opinion real quick so careful on that… I’m not your type if you can’t handle that. Just let me know you.
But no … just don’t ask me those things… just be a human being for little bit – with sincerity
Yes… I am aware I will be waiting a long time if not forever lol whatever 🙄 I’m cool with that for right now.
Also… No one better invade anyone else either, btw… I know about this too!!! Don’t do it!! Please 🙏 …don’t be an asshole. But we see – cause again “people”
Wtf world?? Drama much?? Omg – see we got Covid because the world can’t even take one moment and not have drama or fighting … the universe was fed up
And still we don’t learn shit – but whatever
See… one week in March … “World Covid Week” … no nothing… just like initial Covid days – you go no where… you do nothing lol … we all be together sorta … an no fighting… no religion… no nothing
Just a week of silence and remembrance… one moment in time – the world was one and there was a slight confusion and fear the first time – but now we should cherish the week? Because we all experience same … and because we actually lost many people because of Covid – not just in the United States but all around the world …
So… a week because is so many souls … and a pretty huge moment in our lives …
AND… couldn’t we all use a one week break from the bullshit of the world?? Omg
So ya know – I just throw out how magical it could be … to not only remember and commemorate so that NO death would be in vain and the entire world must do nothing for one week … ok so I see no flaws ??? 🤷♀️
Kinda sounds like heaven? So I dunno?? Have I convinced you yet?? 🙏🙏
But whatever … I super mega happy … but oddly calm??? 😮😮 normally I bubble over lol … but I dunno?? I’m just kinda 🤷♀️ I dunno… I’m really happy … but I dunno? Maybe my balance is off? Cause work and home been crazy?!
I slept in maybe by half hour because was Saturday so that was pretty awesome!!
And then I text coworker and say – you want coffee? And so I stop at Dutch Bro’s and get us coffees 🙌 ahhhhh
I would have stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts … BUT … CALIFORNIA Dunkin’ Donuts suck!!! Omg they do nothing right!!!! Wrong wrong wrong!! 😝😝😝 I love them but you do not train your California workers how to make it!!! Omg – don’t even get me going on this one!!!
So… Dutch Bros and the coffee was good… better than Starbucks … but still not better than NEW ENGLAND area Dunkies ❤️❤️❤️ …only they know how to do it right ❤️❤️❤️
So I was happy – coffee leisurely Saturday morning
Funny little Chevy chase type things happen to us this morning – I love this woman – she makes me just laugh …
So most of the time … we have very very very heavy things … and the cases pour in and what people don’t understand is that everyone’s loved one is important to them – every family is special to us… the process is NOT quick!!
There are forms to be signed, vitals to know, causes, we have to get doctor to sign off on causes – meaning we chase them 🤨… the county and state have to approve everything – if causes are not accepted we have to chase doctors again …
They can’t just put dementia 🤨 – we need to know details… or the state will not accept…what kind? How long have … any underlining conditions?
MANY MANY THINGS… and in some instances – causes can be pending for many months and they will give amendment to Death Cert with what was determined to be causes
That’s just the death certificate – then because we have so many deaths – we juggle schedules …with us, with churches, or catering, or escorts …
Lol… I get mad sometimes because we use escorts … AS IN POLICE escorts lol … BUT if you just Google the word “escorts” lol … you do NOT get police escorts 🤨🙄 – oh that makes me so mad – I am usually going really fast – and I forget there are other kinds of escorts, until I hit the search button … THEN I remember 🤨
Also… clergy, priests, speakers, singers, organists, there are many schedules we juggle…
And then we make all our own prayer cards and service folders – plus put together your contract… any orders you make and if it is a pre-arrangement – we have to file a claim to receive the funeral payment … must pay in full before services rendered – because no one would pay afterwards 🤨
And then multiply all that by 30+ families 😮😮 you have no idea 🤷♀️ and some have a lot of loss 😮 like me back in 2017!
Most people do not think of all the other people who have died too… and everyone wants everything expedited … we do work our asses off.
I am just sharing what people usually don’t see or know or think of.
Well anyway- there is that. We treat everyone special – like I said … All the families are special to us!!
So it gets heavy and then if are children – is awful … and we get all the emotions at us – it can be hard …
So I just feel we balance that in the office … we enjoy each other’s humor, it lifts the load because is awesome – definitely lightens the load with laughter … and the laughter is not about our families or work…
It is always because we had done something funny or telling of some chevy chase moment we had lol ❤️ or stories from our kids or how was growing up 😄 ❤️
It takes the pressure off when you just simply enjoy the moments and the ones you with ❤️
Except… I am NOT very much enjoying the new guy… he’s kinda mean and condescending… that condescending is gonna be a BIG problem… careful in that area.
No one died and made him king – so get off your high horse.
This coming week – I am calling staff meeting and will be laying down some laws ✌️💋
My boss is aware of situation and already give me go ahead for the staff meeting.
And then … I have been so busy … but through all that… I just backed away from people little.
I prefer to handle the shit, and not be involved in any swirling drama … I work alot too … but I’ve been zoning in on work.
I felt offended by things 2 people did, so I just back up. One just laid something on me that wasn’t even true… without even knowing anything… and that was after they were really mean to someone 😮 guilty or something?
Respect professionally and still friend personally – just little guarded after that.
The other one… I want distance from… is a woman… and she just uses people to get what want. So with that, I do not like – I would rather not be around that.
She’s been an ass – and I haven’t spoken to her at all for weeks… so whatever I just work … I don’t need anyones bullshit.
But today she need something from me 🤨 … so she act like nothings wrong and everything ok – sickeningly sweet / because she need something
I am just distant – a million miles away? Guarded
Whatever – I’ll do your request – but not gonna pretend all is fine. Because is not.
The key is: keep good people, remember to laugh, know when you are having moments with others and cherish those times – they don’t last forever… keep yourself strong with whatever makes your spirit stronger.
Believe in yourself, never leave anything unsaid… be who you want to be.
Anyway… we had a good day together working – we laughed and got through a lot of work… I had to go to the post office today 🤨 .:. Which is little similar to the DMV 🙄 lol
I was getting flags… 🇺🇸 … is for the veterans caskets – and then given to families. To get a flag for your funeral you must be a veteran, and you must provide me with a DD214 – which says that you were HONORABLY discharged – I can not get a flag without that form
I will have to press one of the Flags on Monday . 😮 those flags are HUGE!!! They come in boxes and we press them so they are all wrinkle free and beautiful ❤️
I have a million things to do on Monday … but should be good day!! 🙌❤️🙏🙏🙏
Tomorrow we are gonna go over new house cause I gotta do few things … we excited 😊
I have to order grocery’s and pick them up tmrw – I been so busy I am slacking on that!!
Ok well … Saturday was pretty good. I forget how peaceful the weekends can be…
But that’s only when none of you people out there die!! So keep trying to not die please 🙏🙏
Learning Life 