Well then – all my staff is down with Covid – awesome.
I am all alone today 😮
Pray for me!!! 🙏 😳
Also pray that it leaves me alone 🙏🙏🙏
Please let me not get – I have my own office and don’t sit around anyone else so maybe I be fine?
The one who had started Covid came in Monday but I sent home right away cause not seem ok. We had not seen since before Thanksgiving so would have been really brief encounter?
Then today everyone sick 🤒
I am ok so far ? I been taking Covid tests for past month lol omg … fricken winter
He does have a lot going on in his life. Which is good because even though mine is nice and peaceful – I work a lot … but then the stuff he has is pretty heavy but they are big legal things due to a family thing.
Well anyway – the lunch date …
So we were to meet at 11:30a … he tell me to meet him at our little tiny airport here in town …
I parked and there he was … was good to see him – he gave me big hug – before I meet with him he asked me does it hurt you if I hug you ? Lol
He ask because he knows about the breast cancer – no it does not hurt me to give hug… unless you put me in a vice grip then maybe? lol but that was thoughtful he asked so ok …
So he takes me over to a plane and shows it to me.
He show me a lot of the plane and then we got in 😮 I sat in cockpit 😮
Ok so that was pretty cool and then he say ok ready for lunch? Buckle up 😮
So we flew to some airport that had a diner right next to runway … and we had lunch – took us about 15 minutes to get there so not too far away but would have been far by car. Was cute little old school diner – was nice
And we got to talk some, he seems like decent guy. I enjoyed the time and convo … we talk about serious things he dealing with – which is heavy stuff but nothing bad – just because he has many things going on. So I understand more – and I understand he coming from business perspective with a lot of it…
We also laughed and enjoyed the moment so that was cool. He did not try to make any moves or be inappropriate – he was very nice 😊
He say to me about emotions again but then midway through he showed softness and emotion so I teased and reminded of his words lol ✌️ see how that goes ? Lol … you can not NOT be emotional. Some things you just gonna be softer with. And that’s ok. Emotions are ok to have lol
Even if you tough man. You gonna have emotions – just go with it lol ✌️
Also… I am emotion queen with reading peoples emotions – that is ok… but I am not the one you should claim not having emotions to – see right through that. You can’t be stone – there will be something in life you are soft with. ✌️
It’s pretty incredible to fly in the cockpit lol… he also flies very nice – excellent control of aircraft and amazing landings lol very cool
I had a good time … was fun and yeah ok maybe little impressed – alright fine
He say he wanna take me all these places, like Monterey or Santa Barbara – but ya know people say many things. – I don’t put it past him lol … I can see why he loves to fly though.
I have never been flown somewhere for lunch and then back – just for lunch – but that was cool.
I’m still not sure totally – I just go slow… he seems ok with that. I’m just really cautious, but we had fun today – that was an adventure lol
When you are up there flying – you do not see the propeller lol … it only showed on pictures – they also look bendy but they are not
Was beautiful day too
Was nice – I was hesitant cause we have not spent one on one time together – but was fun and I enjoyed … so alright
Ok so… so far I like him
He is tough guy but he’s sweet and gentle with me
He is trying to read me lol … but that’s ok I’m trying to read him too??
I talk and stuff … and am honest when I do speak… also I’m just a little on guard… just cause I am learning who he is.
He’s all tough lol … but has sweetness, or a softness
We did speak about stuff – he was over seas … we didn’t get into anything heavy duty cause I just don’t know him yet and that’s really personal
He did speak about how he feels towards a man who will hit a woman lol … not a man … totally agree!! 😊 he does have a lot of women family in area and he is good to them
He’s a little businessy lol … but I do like him so alright maybe
I still feel distance though – I’ll just learn who he is and I’ll be more at ease
I had fun today – but I do need to know him more.
He did make me smile and laugh – he is not sure how to read me yet, so he steps carefully 😊 I like that. He wasn’t all overzealous or crazy… just nice and chill – I like that a lot – but he’s careful – asking if ok to hug and stuff … he make sure I was happy and having good time – he loved showing me the plane – I did not know what to look at first and I don’t wanna touch something and have it go bad lol but it was fine … a lot of harnesses … 5 point? I strapped in!! Lol
He tell me what he doing as he doing it – was cool
So yeah ok fine – little impressed – that was fun
Ok so – we still see
Don’t go thinking anything – let me just see
We were gone only for like 2 hours – he is very respectful – I also like that ✌️
So far he do ok – I like him so far he does well.. but let’s just see … let me just know who he is
So we still see
Was one date so we see … I am attracted to him but that means nothing … I just want to know who he is.
Yes he was sweet and funny and awesome – I had wonderful time …
But yes – I want to know who he is as person.
Anyone can show you an amazing and fun time… but who are they generally ? So I just need to know that – one date doesn’t show you that – so we see
He makes me feel little bit nervous. I’m not sure if I am ok with or not ??
I am trying to see who he is as person
I dunno – it’s sounds like a lot of drama going on in his life ??
I keep very low and quiet – I like peace – I don’t want a lot of drama – I work very hard to build life without that. Stay very protective.
I dunno if I can handle this? I’m very low key and only want to enjoy life. If you can do that with me – GREAT! If not – ok
I have some red flags 🚩… so we see
Not looking to complicate my life – just enjoy it so… we see
I want to see what kind of person he is …
But he tell me of things … things he has or has done – places he goes or name drops?
I’m not sure if that’s meant to impress me or not? Maybe? But ok ??
None of that is really what I care about?? And ya know I want more than something shallow… so we see
I feel like he thinks I don’t have a lot of experiences … lol so he wanna show me or open my world?
Hmm 🤔 … I have had many experiences in my life – know what to cherish … go ahead open my world – show me what you got
I dunno ??
I be cautious.
Be really careful with trying to impress me… I am looking to see who you are … so careful there
I am going to be watching his character, demeanor, how he is… oh he will be watched!!
I’m not sure I am ready – I’m not sure I feel ok with this but we see
It would be much easier if I can just go online and order exactly man I want lol … I would get the warranty lol 😘✌️ … but I wouldn’t have to do all this – it would just work lol … ahhh day dreams
I’m just not a dating type?
But we will see – we will have lunch and we see. I’m not sure how comfortable I am.
I dunno if is me or not … maybe is me… it’s me – not you lol …
But I dunno if you understand how much peace I keep in my life to balance other areas
Also… I’m not sure who he thinks I am… lol
I dunno 🤷♀️ I really love the peace – so we see if he worth it or not?,
I am not some woman who needs to be saved or anything – so watch that… don’t get ahead of yourself – remember:
But you can’t own me like that… so in other words … I wanna see integrity so I know worth it …we see
He might be little more than I can handle? I don’t know?
I’m probably not ready or isn’t right – since I am feeling nervous? But I will see so I know I am not being overprotective – I know how to protect self
I was wondering if he thinks I am loner ?? Well I am but I have a pack ❤️ so I am never alone – I always have someone who love me
I never feel like I have no one.
So I’m not sure if since I am silent and little hold back ish … if he thinks I have no one and am a lost soul… I am not
He thinks my pain defines me – but it does not
I say that because he ask me questions – and I try to be vague but he want more in-depth so ok – here’s the shit – the shit is bananas lol
But you have to know me and I have to be able to love life – I almost lost mine few times so I cherish how amazing I keep my life and who’s in it
With those closest – I am free like that – we can be light and goofy – we in funerals so we normally have heavy and dark …
I can be full of life with my people ❤️
He sounds nice but not sure if he over my head or not – we see
I’m not sure I am comfortable – but we see over lunch ?
I am not sure where he is taking me for lunch – we see there too … he be mysterious and not tell me – says is surprise … so ok we see
Also… when I brought up my people – I did say they would be protective – he was little weird with that?
My people very important part of my life – just because I came from domestic violence does not define my life… I am not some meek little woman with no one – correct yourself ✌️ and just because I do funerals and can connect on level of loss – does not mean I am not strong as hell so also correct self there ✌️😘
So let’s see – one shot – lunch tmrw. Then I know.
I am nervous – I am not cut out for this?
I do not know if we on same wave or page? I keep my life very simple not all complicated … but we see
I am not like people on social media or with tons of drama
I try to tone down my love of life itself so it’s not crazy lol … with my people I can show my full love of life because they also either know hard times or almost lost their life … so we know how to cherish life – I can laugh and have fun and be self with them ❤️ adore them
Otherwise I am quiet and to self… totally nothing wrong with that.
We see with this man … he feels little dark and heavy but we see?
I can not save anyone just fyi
I’m not dark … way more Disney with funny darkish but bubbly flare lol … probably more bubbly than dark – but I have warped sense of humor lol
Well first of all … I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving with friends and family yesterday.
Today I sleep a lot, because I was not feeling very well. Am ok at moment but then runs me back down quickly. Doby is not happy with this lol
Omg the energy from this man! Is non stop!
Anyway… 2 of the 3 kids give me lists this year… which is good and bad
Cause I buy early and then I’m all excited so I will offer to give early – what you gonna say? No? Lol
So now I have to just not do that. It kills me to have before the time – I already gave them 1
And if they don’t get me lists – they get mom gifts and no one wants mom gifts lol 🎁 … they are practical and things I think you would love or should have lol 😘❤️
Is never what you want lol … but really awesome things to me lol … so this year 2 gave lists and one still gambles lol 🎲
This guy who I’ve been talking to… he is funny and texts me and is not overbearing – pretty chill
So as we talking he mention he is former military … hmm 🤔 ok… I can be open minded – I am not typically military type – we see …
And the section of military he was in makes me cautious?
Totally totally totally appreciate the service and my somewhat freedom. Absolutely grateful
But we just see… he has already introduced me to both his blood family and to his military family 😮
That went really fast but I didn’t totally expect but knew be many people – and the way he introduce me around ? Just interesting
That was few weeks ago even
And he opens up and tells me little bits about his life which is complicated cause he has a lot of things 🤷♀️ nothing that seems overly insane but I don’t know
Last night we have a convo on text… and he make a comment about emotions lol … he is not fully aware of who he deals with lol …
So… we see … I am strong woman who does think before react – but I am totally emotion – lol … I am funerals – how you do that with no emotion? Of course I feel with emotions lol
And then … how is military man gonna handle that? I am not cut from military cloth lol
We see – he shows me a softness but then I also see hard so… not very sure
He is kind and funny and gentle towards me…
We have not spoken of politics lol … I am independent but if he military he gonna be Republican watch – we see – let’s see
We have same religion so that makes no difference – neither one of us are formally practicing. I am probably more into catholic little things than him… I do not go to church, I do not think he does either?
I just feel some of the beliefs held me back – and I do not need a church to pray to whatever I believe. I say my prayers & have my own beliefs – end of story
I have a fire 🔥… and I am strong so do not mistake my kindness for weakness because that I am not… I am woman …
And especially if you attempting to come into my life!!!
No one … not one person makes in into my inner circle – my children or my people … I have never ever introduced anyone to them in regards to me being interested … no one makes it that far so I will not introduce unless I am comfortable and serious
You got patience ? You gonna plan your attack or what? So let’s see how military man holds up?
So far he is doing well – I enjoy his texts – he is fun to talk to and makes me laugh
But I am both hard and soft so… just be careful
I don’t know that I am totally at ease because when I stop and think of a relationship or going anywhere near that – oh boy does that strike little panic
Because then you are “with” someone – so I just wanna make sure that’s ok… I’m gonna watch his character and who he is – so we see
He say tonight that he wants to spend some time with me when I’m able.
Alright so… if you fall off the bike, you get back up right? Well I am afraid of that giant gash from falling 🤷♀️😘
Any time I have given someone a chance ?? I dunno? I keep little distance just because I am not rushing into anything …
But I am whirlwind type – so you have to be very careful. Easy. However – my spirit needs to be free so you can not squash or inhibit lol ✌️😘
So… we see Mr Military
I’m not sure?? I am bit of free spirit so 🤷♀️
So far he plays his cards well … makes me laugh and enjoy the convos – he doesn’t be weird or try to send me a dick pic I don’t ask for, or ask me for anything racy 🙄🤨 … he does not do that 😊 so alright … continue lol
So far he is quite gentlemanly – but we see
Let me see his umm … I want to see if he has integrity so we see
I have not spent much time with him in person – some but not a lot – small pieces of time but always in middle of things – never alone…
Is the text messages I am learning who he is. I can’t quite tell in text? That is where he can speak to me alone currently lol
He kinda steps easily as to not scare me off – can totally sense that lol
I’m interested to see how he will do? So far is ok. So far, I like him. So ok… we see … cause careful what kinda girl you go after … if you can not handle that type ✌️😘
So we will just see … it’s like I gamble 🤷♀️ but I am curious and I do like him and am enjoying his personality.
I am very positive happy person – and so is he so far … he just might be little bit heavier with things ?
We will see … I will just have to gamble and see
If I actually spend time with him in person one on one – then I will know who he is lol … I can observe better and be more at ease ?
Also… I am really guarded with my inner circle – is the family I have made myself and my blood… so …
I am not sure cause I’ve never gotten to a point to consider it with someone ? I keep very separate normally … I say normally 🤨 sometimes things are not normal … I also have these crazy events that life will throw at me to test my handling lol 🤷♀️
Sometimes I do ok – sometimes I do not 🤷♀️ depends on the event lol
Military guy gonna be harder than me. I am soft so what he want ? Balance ? – be sure of what want
To hear that song makes me smile soooooo much ❤️ it reminds me of Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon on SNL ❤️
Well I always loved that one … but only people recording it from their TV’s is what I find on YouTube lol 🤷♀️ so anyway … is awesome – that song reminds me of it and then makes me smile ❤️
Ok so… letting someone come around close I don’t know we see
I already told him I am boring but he is not listening 🤷♀️
Also… he flies so wants to show me places 😮 omg
Well … first of all… growing up … I was all over the United States if did not live there – vacationed there or through there … every year big cross country vacations and we moved every few years … I lived all over the east coast north and south… as well as west coast north and south.
I have seen many things already … I will go places and have deja vu … and guess what, there will be a photo from back then and I remember
I just went so many places in United States all the time that it began to blend – ah ok trees and mountains, deserts, plains – totally took for granted
Since this morning I have been taking her temp and is at normal temperature. 98.0 consistently … so no fever fighting anything – her cheeks are better – not as flushed
But she is still achy and sleepy and not well.
I have been fine and taking care of things … but I am little bit run down feeling … but mind over matter right? Hopefully the night does not take me down.
I was supposed to do more things today – but meh… she was sick- and I didn’t feel like running all around.
Ohhhh but on a extremely bright note…
I found the greatest invention ever!! What is that you ask?? It is a laser pointer … yes just an ordinary everyday meeting laser pointer lol omg ❤️❤️❤️
Do you know why I think this is greatest invention ever???
Because I buy Doby fun toys and things and he enjoys but mauls them or wants me to throw a lot but I can’t for long time with my arms. It hurts
I just happen to be playing with laser pointer and omg DOBY can not get enough of this little red light and it is hilarious lol ❤️
I can easily make him run all over the house and I have wood floors so he does the Scooby Doo run…
The run where he runs in place and his legs spin lol … Doby does that…
And his focus is so hard on that little red dot 🔴… that he slides across the floor lol Omg
We have an award winning Doberman toy!! Who the hell knew “a laser pointer” 😮 bonus 👏
I literally can get him to do anything and go anywhere and I want with that little red dot – it’s incredible lol
So that was a discovery this weekend 😮 I did not know that was a thing for dogs 😮❤️👏👏👏 it is so much fun for both of us lol ❤️👏
If I make it disappear under a chair he is sooo perplexed lol 😄 it’s just like best entertainment and fun all in one ❤️❤️👏👏
Fricken laser pointers ❤️ love them
I literally just googled laser pointer and Dobermans and it’s a thing 😮😮 look what I stumble on lol – fricken yay!! 👏👏👏 I’m really excited with it – we have been having so much fun with it this weekend since I discover lol …
You now hear 🏇 galloping all over my house 😄😄 so hilarious!!! I will have to take video!! Is so awesome 👏👏❤️ he’s just so into it lol
I better stock up on replacement batteries … and more laser pointers lol … I should get colored ones 👏👏❤️
Well I am freezing 🥶 – I have my heat cranked at moment – brrr 🥶
So Friday was not horrific – actually was ok and rather zen – it was quiet – we had services and stuff but nothing popped off – ahhhh 🙌
I did get asked to dinner oddly ? Lol
Is that somewhat new friend I have something in common with… I just am cautious and protective … I will observe the person.
But he’s funny and very kind. Kind of a character lol … he steps very carefully with me, and he tries to learn who I am ? I dunno ? I’m pretty quiet
Every once in awhile I say something about my life and he zones in … but nicely … mainly because I’m just quiet 🤐
He knows about the cancer. And satan with the divorce sorta – I am very quiet there on details
He knows I have kids – he does too – his are grown
He is around my age but little older
He keeps trying to know me, that’s ok I think? We see
He steps carefully cause he’s not quite sure how I am or how I take things lol
I’ll allow it for now and we see … see I’m kinda open ?? You just have to approach the correct way and not F it up lol ✌️😘 but we see
I told him I am boring… I am boring – I like peace and family … I am not a partier, I work and be with kids – end of story
Once in a while maybe I be social but … I prefer home… I am old … I like the peace of home
And you might laugh or roll eyes when I say I am old but … all those cancer surgeries slowed me down … and the hits from all the deaths in my family was a lot to absorb… and then add satan on top of that … so I am just quiet
I also prefer zero drama – so just best to manage life with peace … I like the peace of moments ❤️✌️ just appreciating life
I am boring so don’t think I am not. I am telling you
I’m not gonna be out clubbing or dancing – I have zero interest in that … not my thing at all…
When I worked at golf course – the job had me being hit on literally daily – how the job was … so then my friends be like hey come out with us after work – but I spent my whole day socializing and ya know I am protective … so why would I want to socialize even more and on my own time when it was what I did for work lol
Plus I was hit on all the time – but at work I was protected by the work.., so why would I want to be unprotected on my own time?
I always said no… and same now… now just because I like peace and I don’t really know if someone can be a human being or not … which is why I watch them… so just better if be low key… I like low key
Now after everything I am just quiet and old 😘
I don’t really fit in dating world so I just prefer to stay away from it. It’s over my head anyway – I do not like the fastness, and also… I do not like way people are … sorry
I don’t like to be chased or suffocated – let me ease into and appreciate – also know who are … just be chill
Also please have a degree of respect – if you gonna try to get in my pants the answer is no, and done. Total kiss of death… bye 👋
So… I watch for the gentleman and one other thing… but ya know is 2022 so… have you seen the world?
Anyway… he seems chill and nice … I just can’t tell who he is yet?? We see
He’s careful… and I think I make him curious because I am kinda quiet ? I’m really low key and I am also an ACE at diverting you away from making me speak – I be vague and then I change subject or lead convo a different way … yeah I’m an ace at that. 🃏 ♥️ … I don’t know him well enough for him to have details like that.
Plus I am always busy so I do respond but is mostly short and sweet during work hours – and is intermittent
I also keep the conversations away from ?? Anything I would be uncomfortable with? I do not know him to text anything sexual – so no
Even jokey funniness – I steer clean lol – just better for now.
So… maybe see parts of Nevada – I already have but I love to visit places – reminds me of my childhood being all over the United States ❤️ 🇺🇸
So we do dinner in Nevada
Nevada is about an hour and a half or two hours from me by car – but he has planes so I dunno? He always share pictures of being in air with me … sunrises and sunsets 😮 I do love those photos
I take those types of pics too – when I fly …but I fly major airlines usually in economy. I like the window seat – I like to watch
I don’t like the isle because people and carts … and I’m uncomfortable in the middle seat lol – unless I know people beside me or they family
Have flown in tiny planes …but not private planes
Is cool – but I should probably make sure my will is in order. ✌️
We see.
It won’t be until our schedules and timing line up so we see on that too lol 🤷♀️ we see … many “we see’s”
Right now just talk so we see
Today I am cooking, cleaning and I am going to look at something at an estate sale shortly 😊✌️
Is chilly but sunny ☀️
I need someone to help me move something – I hate being at mercy of others to do things … before I could have done myself – now life forces me to need people 😝 meh – plus I have to wait lol ✌️😘
So… this morning … I had a stupid spam call from fuckin New York 😠 at fricken 7:30 in morning California time – check your time zone if you gonna scam shit… idiot
Check your shit – you dealing with California – New York – fricken 7:30 AM!!!!! I am in the middle of school drop off and not a time to call me while in parent traffic
So I let it go to vc mail to F with later …
Once I was done with my parental responsibilities … I took “show my caller ID” off … cause bitch I don’t want you having my number – rude ass New York at 7:30am
One thing if you family, friends or work – I do not mind… but a scammer – yeah bitch no!
So assholes have a number you can not call into – so I reported them to the FCC… so F you scammers
Gave all information and attached the vc mail
Bite me
Done with shit
But anyway … my entire point to that story is removing my caller ID – every single time I do that … I forget to turn back on 😄😄😄
So when I call everyone – they always answer cause we in funerals … but they act all suspicious lol – it’s really funny and little bit entertaining – am I bad for that? I do get enjoyment lol …
Cause when I call… it just announces me as “No caller ID” lol … I forget they can’t see my number or name and don’t realize until they act all weird lol … it’s a little humorous
I have to remember to always turn that back on
It just makes me laugh a little 🤷♀️
I fixed it – so no more fun lol
Well whatever – my spirit is off currently
I am tired. In all ways. Every day more and more apparent ?? So I dunno?
Ok so I’m not sure what I think about that – we see there too… he’s on better footing than most because of one thing we share in common so 🤷♀️ … he is taking very easy… no fast movements – but I don’t know??
My senses are really high right now – balance is off
He is kind – I don’t know him – but he’s kind.
But aren’t they all especially when trying to catch attention
So 🤷♀️ I don’t know
I miss the middle of no where – I spoke to someone today who knows an area that I know really well … and it was funny – we were laughing with stories and reminiscing and discussing history of places in the area we knew… it was just nice.
They knew my middle of no where 😮😮❤️
I wish you could take my house and place it in the middle of no where ❤️
The first music I ever heard that was not my parents 😮❤️ ahhh madness ❤️
My moms not doing too good either – that breaks my heart a lot 💔 I’m gonna lose her – yeah that makes me cry – don’t touch that subject currently – I can’t
I don’t have her now really – but it’s my mom. So that is just hard – I don’t have her, yet sorta ??? She’s going further and further away and it’s taking her 💔
I know I have to lose her – I know it be ok. But no it’s not.
Ugh … here comes 2023 – god help me!
Also since I’m blasting somewhat…
Are you fucking kidding me with Trump?! – how much more Koolaid people gonna drink – Jesus
I can’t even!!!!
What a joke – disgusting
Fuck this broke ass shit – get the F out with that Trump shit
And the world should be very concerned – you have seen him!!!! You know who and how he is… I don’t care if you don’t like what I say … oh well whatever – I am entitled to opinion – whatever ✌️
New England’er heart so whatever – you gonna hear about it 😘✌️
I’m tired of both sides – get over yourselves omg
Can we have someone who is NOT a criminal and bad person? ..and can handle the job?!! Holy crap what a shit show
Ugh whatever just figured I’d throw that on cause why not? I hate the guy – I can not stand him or any words that come out his mouth – I can’t stand his voice or anything
He is also like satan – I can not even handle his words whatever they are – just go away!!
Ok I’m done – f that crap 💩 are you serious?
#whenyouthinkpeoplearesmart
Ugh do we really need to see this again – omg this will go all bad 😮😮
I am independent – meaning I will listen to those who can be civilized intelligent adults … I do not care what political party you are with – I am going to look for who I believe to be best suited – that is NOT HIM!!!!
Anyone else but NOT HIM – isn’t there something in constitution you protect against criminals becoming president ? Ahhh the American system – watch your step on that.
Ugh 😑 whatever
What year are we on?
God… I just want to make it out of the 2020’s without stupid unnecessary shit!
Repeat song above ✌️😘
So best for me to just leave it at that – you know how I feel 🙌
First of all… Happy Veteran’s Day 🇺🇸 thank you to all those who serve ❤️ you are always thought of … Veterans Day or not … so again … Thank you for your service! ❤️🇺🇸❤️
I took today off. What a beautiful day it was too … little on the chilly side 🥶
I am really bad at reading clues if someone likes me lol 🤷♀️ unless you are direct – I do not notice lol 🤷♀️
I have always NOT noticed that – I am oblivious unless you outright say lol 🤷♀️ … I am not a subtle hint girl lol
Well first – I went to a friends ceremony … and then he immediately come over to me all smiles, hugged me (which is totally normal) and then kissed my cheek – which again, is kinda normal greeting – just after Covid not really 🤷♀️ but ok whatever
But I’m thinking it’s all totally normal, until he is introducing me around and made one particular comment to someone about maybe wanting to date me. Umm 😮 I did NOT see that coming and I try to keep always very level with no leading on!!
Evidentially I am very bad at that…
And then while we are all at ceremony … another man speaking to me… he lives near me – I didn’t know him at all, until I met today
And he’s all smiles ??? I told him I just bought the house in January but I work a lot, so I haven’t done a lot of work on it – but eventually. I’m busy lol ✌️ we were just chatting about things
And then he says well I’m a contractor builder if you need help – here’s my card – and he gives me his card. Then he says if you are free sometime maybe we grab dinner ? Ummm 😮
Do you see?? This is reason I stay away from world … I can not really handle ? I don’t know?
And that’s not all … I can’t count how many people come to comment on my hair – I never ever ever remember or think of my hair until people point it out … normally I just be normal… is not a thought to me?? Until you point it out and make a big deal.
I do not know what the big deal is???
I stop at store before going home and I was gonna get 🍜 soup… and a guy all smiles comes over and tells me “hey if you do the bigger can is cheaper”
Lol … I said thank you but that’s too much soup for just me lol 🤷♀️
I don’t like too much left overs – I’ll do leftovers for one time – but usually I don’t like to have leftovers
I was in front of him in the check out and he smiling the entire time… I turned to leave and he says “Hey have a good weekend” so made me look back and he had a huge smile and gave that guy look 🙄 he was nice – but that guy look 🙄
Alright well you too
See what happens when I go outside in public ?? That is partially a reason I don’t very often.
I just think that … well I’m a little nervous with those things and then also… it can be little overwhelming … I am old too so??? I thought it dies down … but no it doesn’t … sometimes I think is worse the older I get?? How the hell did that happen? I do not understand
But yeah I find a little overwhelming.
I think the red hair makes me stick out and initially noticed … the Irish – with the freckles and eyes … yeah that doesn’t help me either. It’s always a thing
So what is the draw? Am still regular person … it is hair!! Which I find very weird
Anyway… like I said is little overwhelming and what kinda keeps me to self and quiet. I don’t know if I am actually ready for anyone to enter my life in that way.
I would like that… but I don’t know 🤷♀️ … It’s really hard to let my guard down there.
Also… have you ever gone along in life thinking you are doing well and can handle things … but then when there are things – you are scared? Or something makes you think, remember or flash back?
Can be good and bad… but I usually keep busy… I have processed and healed mostly. I do prefer to focus on others… so I don’t have to Stop and think of my stuff. But sometimes something or someone, just makes you remember?
And then ya know – there are scars and things and last time I was 17 so… just makes me nervous and uneasy and all you people are way over my head with dating or things of that nature!!! 😩 it’s very hard – out of my world
Anyway whatever – just thinking
I do not know what is the preconceived notion about a red head… I am boring and firey 🤷♀️ stubborn and strong willed… funny and social but I’m quiet …
I don’t know how to explain “being quiet”
I am social and friendly and outgoing so … not quiet in that sense ??
But maybe with keeping to self? I’m quiet if you wanna know me… then I watch you lol ✌️
I have best friends who are in my life a lot … they call me all the time – we are just far from each other … but we laugh and laugh and talk about everything … I have a man best friend and a couple woman ones lol
I feel safe, loved and like family with them. ❤️ love them very very dearly – would move mountains for them ❤️
They just appeared to me and melted into my life ?? ❤️❤️❤️ when I needed that most – very thankful and blessed
Typically though I have to trust people… so I keep a distance so I can know someone. I need to know who someone is first.
On WordPress I am more free ? Safer ? Or false security but whatever – works for now. Has helped me. Maybe? or I think so? Just not all the way lol… I stay here cause I like it here ✌️ happy here 😊❤️
Anyway… that was my day off 😮
I also taught Doby a brand new trick – this little dude learns after I show him twice!! 2 times and he’s got it… I just taught him to shake 🤝 😮
Every time I teach him something that is how it is!!!
He does not get the concept of “stay” … he just wanna be right up on me constantly – he can not stand it otherwise
Learning Life 