Head vs Heart

Ok well – today was crazy – but really, what day is not crazy?

I tried to rush the week today – cause I kept thinking it was Thursday … now my brain is all weird on it actually being Wednesday … but ok – 2 more days … tomorrow is Thursday … I get ahead of myself sometimes lol 🤷‍♀️

The days blend 😮

I think one of my neighbors died?? 😮 I do not know them… I don’t know if I have them 😮


They are across street from me, and are known as one of the founding families of my town. It was incorporated in 1890 – so is still rather young compared to others.

Anyway – I think the old gentleman died… I didn’t see them very much … but every so often he must have had appts or something cause I would see a woman maybe in 60’s ? bring him home.

He walked so slowly – small baby steps and would take them forever to get inside. He was very elderly.

They are quiet unseen neighbors usually.

But yesterday and today – many unknown vehicles all up and down street. Also one right in front of my house. Which is fine – is just me – I don’t care … I park in my driveway

So today I had to call my elderly neighbor cause I knew I had a package 📦 I could not leave work so I called and asked if he could get for me.

Of course he say yes ❤️ he is sooo good to me – he always watches my house and he is just right with socialization – not overly and not underly lol ✌️

He is very similar to me in those terms. I think he doesn’t mind me because I work all the time and I am not invading his space lol ✌️

But we enjoy talking to each other for brief moments. He will call me on Sundays usually to make sure I am still alive over here 😄😄 … that’s what he always says … “hey girl, you still alive over there?” Lol …I’m just a quiet neighbor too. 😘✌️ … no excitement over here – nothing to see lol

I should be the one checking on him – but he checks on me lol ❤️

He also… since the day I moved in – takes down my garbage cans – before I get home from work the day before garbage day – all perfectly placed… and then will take them back up for me, before I get home ON garbage day ❤️ never misses a week ❤️ I never asked – he just does 😊🫶

Anyway … so he came over while I was at work to get my package for me… I was thinking was the small one I ordered … I ordered some things to take care of my yard – I’m gonna attempt to do myself so we will see how that goes … but yeah instead of the smaller package … it was the lawnmower I ordered 😮😮

Later – I see the doorbell camera and he comes over to get package – tries to pick up… but it is heavy lol … so he places it back down… leaves for a second and comes back with a Dolly 😮 OMG I asked my elderly neighbor to come get my heavy package 😮😮😮😮

Awww and he still did for me ❤️

I told him I was not in rush to get it – lol … like I said is for yard work lol … not my thing ✌️😘

But the moment I got home – there he is with my package lol ❤️

I stood outside and spoke to him for few minutes … I asked if he knew who’s car was in front of my house?

He says … I dunno, I just figured it was your boyfriend lol


Ughhhh no lol … he says that every time there is a car in front of my house – sometimes it is my friends … not boyfriends lol – but that’s once in blue moons … I have one friend who was coming over on Fridays …cause they had no one for a minute – so they came to join family night.

And sometimes during work hours – one of the traveling funeral people who is one of my friends I don’t see too often – we will go to my house to have lunch and so she can see Doby ❤️

But usually no … military came over for dinner once before I learn many things. ✌️

Anyway – he always says that lol … I do not have time for a boyfriend – but if someone wants to park their car in front of my house and appear like I have a boyfriend … that is fine 😄✌️

I didn’t think of it that way until he said that lol … now yes go ahead park at my house lol

I do not know who’s vehicle it was – and neither did he.

My neighbor said last week there was 2 fire trucks 🚒 at that house … 😮 so yes I’m thinking death ☠️

But then ya know…. I always think death – I am surrounded by death, so that’s a thing … death is my life 😮 so I notice it. I’m pretty sure

If you had told me death would be my life one day – I would have told you – you were crazy!! I am happy person – never depressed – once in awhile I am human and have emotions lol … but mostly is happy and loving life … how could death come near me? – well here we are lol 🤷‍♀️ stranger things have happened

As we were talking – someone came outside… they were wearing ALL BLACK 😮😮

I leaned into him and said – see I told you, he probably died, they are wearing all black and there are tons of vehicles everywhere – is probably family.

It was death – I am pretty sure – I just know death very well ✌️😮😮

Then we started telling stories to each other about the neighborhood and town when was founded – history things – not gossip – only death gossip – I am pretty sure the old old elderly man died ☹️

I think my neighbor actually is interested and curious about my job and I make him think… he will shyly ask me questions about preparing for death and making arrangements – he is curious but I think he is also afraid lol … he is adorable 🥰 I really like him 😊❤️ …in a normal way, just being clear ✌️

So… today at work… I have a contractor I have known for few years… he started helping me when I first brought my home. Just a nice honest guy, always respectful. Decent human being 😊

Anyway – I had a family at work today – well they are not one of my families yet – but will be ☹️

I completely connected with them 😮 because is about to lose both parents boom boom ☹️ 💔


I could tell when I spoke to her she had been crying for a long time before she called me. I could hear the stuffed nose – I could tell she had been crying for awhile 💔

Well she needed some help on something totally different once I helped her and she told me everything.

So I said “I know a guy” lol … let me check with him and then I will forward you his information. She was thankful.


So I called him … and he was very happy to hear from me – which is fine … because I am like that too – if I like you and enjoy you – my face will light up, I will have huge smile – and I’m Irish – so it’s my whole face!!!! …. that’s probably half my problem!!! ~sigh~

Anyway – I called him and he was happier than usual to hear from me – it’s only been a few weeks – he did some lighting work at the FH.

I did speak to him the other day to ask how much I would need to save for him to fix my fence which all fell 🤨 … not gonna fix yet, cause I have to save … and I’m gonna wait until I don’t have anymore atmospheric issues 🤨 … but I wanted to know how much approx to save.

During that convo… he said to me – I was gonna call you and say hello, but I didn’t wanna freak you out lol … that’s because since he’s been doing work for me for awhile – I am very straight forward if you gonna deal with me – I gonna lay my shit out and if you can handle – great – if not – whatever

Know who you deal with ✌️

I like him as person but … it does give me little caution 🤷‍♀️ he was nice though – and he’s very respectful cause he does not want to invade or intrude me … he is cautious how he is with me so he does not scare me away lol 🤷‍♀️ but yes … he makes sure is ok before doing anything. He will wait for me to call or text – it has always been business but I dunno?? I just have some alerts 🚨 going off lol … when it happens all the time – you start to notice 😶

Also when I asked him about the money and the fence … he said aww well we will see – I have some of the materials and we will see what we need

😶 lol … I said … well yes but I wanna know what to pay you too lol

The whole time I have dealt with him – he request very little … I would always pay little more cause he wicked low balls – this was no different – so I will save more than he asks for. But he has always done that – and I, in return – always pay little bit extra for him – not a ton because I do not have alot – but he is also good to me – so I am thankful – he is also honest

So today, I tell him about the family… and I said listen – you can totally say no… I am just asking on their behalf if is ok to pass along your number and also if you would be able to help them? I know very little details.

He say yes… he has some big jobs going on – but he would see if he can fit the family in his schedule

So I’m glad he will try to help the family 👏🙏

I am not sure what to think – because alarms 🚨 are going off in my head cause … I dunno 🤷‍♀️… careful … approach with caution lol ✌️

No pressure or anything lol

But yeah … it’s a thing always … always always always

Maybe is nothing and be totally fine – I just hesitate cause ya know 🤷‍♀️ this is a thing that goes on… I am feeling alarms and caution – not because I don’t think he is good person – he totally is, and he’s cute… he is younger etc etc

He is respectful and I’ve known him for few years now…

I just have caution cause I just do ⚠️ because lately – everything is wacky!! And this has been happening a lot … and then almost seems to be all the time

I am also cautious because if you gonna approach my life – do not stress it out with things, do not ever try to tell me what to do or how to be – I will fight for my freedom so step carefully – and he does and he’s cautious … but so am I


But also this:


I think he is little intimidated? Because I am pretty and strong woman – so he is very careful lol

I do know the power of a woman and I know my own power … I am very careful with it too 🫥 or try to anyway

I am independent so I depend on me… I do not chase or need any man

I think he is more used to a woman who is little more subservient or need to be with someone – I am not that way. I have had time to rebuild self and not need

Sooooo lol … I don’t know if he knows how to approach that – he is seeming very careful lol


Yeah I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ … don’t be a pompous ass or satan, let me be me, maybe know my mind rather than my body or beauty ? And then also, you are gonna have to understand my life… Soooo can you hang or what?


So be careful – I am independent – but to come close that is heart ✌️ so highly cautious who I give that to. That is why I am careful.

Well one reason anyway

I don’t want you too close to my heart until I am at ease and I am comfortable

I can give my heart in grief totally!!! Right there with you all day long

But I am very cautious otherwise ✌️😘 🤫


Ok well I need sleep so – good night 😘🌙💤

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