Status …

So today June 12th 2022 … would have been my parents 51st wedding anniversary …

My mother had been intubated… since Friday – today we took tube out. Swelling has gone down since removing but her tongue is black and blue so not sure what brought that on?

Her heart is operating at 35% … they running kidney tests, and tmrw at 1pm for a eeg to check her brain function … we speak to cardiologist (heart doctor) tmrw morning and we see how much time we have:

I have spoken to work and they know what going on … at a moments notice I be going back to Texas,

I will get flights lines up this week and see what able to do… they are expensive

I may ask if I can work remotely from a location there or my brothers house.

We are using one of my funeral homes when time comes / we are global… so she will have 75% discount because she is my mother 😭💔😭😭

So we see what happens – I will know more tmrw

I have been crying alot … I wish someone was closer so you could be with me through this 😭💔 cause I not do so well – it is my mom 😭💔

I have support … country boy been supportive, work has been supportive and whatever I need they do…

And my kids too… very supportive… I have wonderful gracious support ❤️

Many friends and my oldest offering to help me if needed – I am blessed with who is in my life ❤️ I am so thankful for my people ❤️

That is why I tell you so much – make sure you have good people in life! For moments like this

So … I really don’t know anything else in the world that’s happening – I am losing my mother so that is my only focus 😭💔

I can’t tell you anything else because I know nothing else 😭💔

I have been crying off and on … I picked up someone else’s birthday present today… I give it to them tmrw… they gonna help me with the flight info…

And with my work there will be bereavement time but not much – we are a global funeral company and we only offer 3 days bereavement… I will be adding vacation and see if I can work remote ? I can go to other funeral home and work out of there ?? Maybe for moment ?

Just everything is crushing at moment because is my mom 😭💔

But maybe good news from cardiologist tmrw 🙏🙏🙏 please pray for my mom 😭💔

I don’t even remember anything about me??

I don’t remember what I tell you?? Since I didn’t do tests … they reach out to me on Friday and say they have counseling that is part of my “team” so did I want that

Yes I do…. but that will have to wait

Whew – this gonna be a summer – not at all what I expect

Why I not see that? I should have known.

There is no DNR (Do not resuscitate) so I tell my brother – please keep her alive until I am there

😭💔 my mom 😭💔

He say ok and we see how this is week goes.

So I’m sorry I might not read or be here 😭💔 we see.

I was supposed to do many things this weekend – I did nothing

When everything happened – everything else went on back burner – is my mom

I don’t even remember what I was supposed to do?

I feel very foggy to remember things I have to do to function?

Tmrw I have work… I go early

I have to get to bed. I am tired

My mom 😭💔 don’t leave me 😭😭😭 but it’s ok if you do – I just love you 😭😭😭 💔 I have hard time because is my mom 💔💔💔

25 thoughts on “Status …

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    1. I hope so, but I also know I can’t keep her forever – I do wish that though ❤️

      Yes thank you ❤️ I am remembering to eat but I actually am going to change how I eat completely

      Both of my parents suffered a heart attack… my dads was a weakened heart from chemo and radiation but he had high blood pressure and things also

      My mom has clogged arteries.

      So… while it is hard for me … it’s just also life warning me

      I always worry I will have Alzheimer’s or cancer because of them. I watch what happens to them?? So how I need to do – to NOT have that happen?

      So I think maybe is slight wake up call for me too – especially since older now.

      They say that the country with best diet in the world is in Iceland 🇮🇸 … they have low rates of Alzheimer’s, stroke, heart disease and diabetes – so what is it ?? What do they eat? And is it food and environment? Does environment make difference ?

      Also … they say best diet to eat is Mediterranean diet … but that’s a lot of fish… I can do the veggies, just not the fish 😝

      I dunno I have to read. So I pay attention cause life is warning me.

      Yes I do have to contact dr and get self handled – I completely forgot about that. My mom took front seat.

      You are right – to stay strong, I also have to stay healthy myself ❤️😘❤️ I know.

      I will. Is hard. Because when stuff happens with my mom, I just drop everything 😮 and my mind goes to mush and heart takes over… and I worry for her.

      Ugh 😩 it’s hard but you are right. I just have to keep remembering that ❤️❤️❤️ I would like to live still

      Thank you for checking on me ❤️🥰❤️ and thank you for your prayers of my mom ❤️🙏❤️ thank you ❤️

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      1. Yes – exactly 💔

        All my memories with her flash in my mind.

        It is very hard to lose one’s parents 💔 it’s very heartbreaking 💔

        Like

    1. Yes I am. 🙏🙏 I will give update soon.

      Thank you for your thoughts and prayers ❤️🙏

      I have no idea what is happening in the world currently at all 😮 other than the war still going on and is bad… and that gas prices are insane and so is everything else!!

      But other than that I have no idea – probably more of the same as usual? Anything important I am missing? Or should know?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There is nothing else you need to know except that inflation is very high and gas prices won’t calm down very soon. So that’s the only think to remember if you drive a lot.

        I hope you are doing well. Take care 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, unfortunately I drive everywhere. 😩

        I stop for gas today… I paid $6.69/per gallon

        I do not know how to translate money at all… so that is American dollars 🤨

        I paid close to $60 for my tiny little car!! It will last me maybe 3-4 days

        I drive hour to work and hour home

        So … soon I will not be able to afford to go to work??? 😮😮

        Does that not sound like the most ridiculous statement?? But it is true!! 😮😮

        Ugh these 2020’s!!! Killing me!! If it’s not one thing it’s something else omg

        I do not remember life being like this before?? Was I blind and it was? Or I am just now severely noticing?

        Was life like this before? Let say prior to Trump… anything from 2016 to now been insane – but before that… wasn’t it more normal?

        But then again, I suppose Covid just showed all the cracks – obviously!! Ugh 😑

        But once upon a time, wasn’t it just life? Nothing crazy popping off all the time! ?

        Did everything get all crazy? …or is that just me thinking that?

        Was it always crazy and I just didn’t notice? 😮

        I am pretty sure life was not this insane before? Here and there – but not constantly!!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Oh honey, I am so sorry for what’s happening with your mom. If I remember correctly, I know that you have dreaded this time for a long time. It must really suck for you right now but I am wishing you comfort as you fly back home to her. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah. I dread it all the time. I never want to see her suffer. ☹️💔

      And it’s my mom, I don’t know how close you are to your mom… but I was still attached when it made her fade away from me 😭💔

      I was not ready to lose both of my parents like that!! I was not prepared at all. It has been really hard.

      I’m very sensitive and the thought of losing my mom is just the worst! 💔 … funny thing is – I don’t have her now anyway… her mind is kinda gone. So what do I hold on to?? I don’t know – but it’s my mom so I am little irrational because I am mad at life so much!!

      But then at same time – she would have peace so I just be little kid and want her … but I also want her to have peace .

      I do have comfort though … so… this will make me cry but what doesn’t right now? …

      I have the most amazing people in my life – that I keep close ❤️

      I stress because well – it’s a lot… and then money and gas …

      But they say to me … oh no problem we help you …

      But then I have problem – because I would owe – so I am careful, so I don’t really do that?? I don’t like to owe. I don’t want to be in over my head or lose any friendship over money so nope 👎 I just don’t do that.

      They question me on it today …

      So I tell them why I feel that way not to owe…

      And they say – this is not a pay back loan… this is gift – because someone helped them once so they want to pay forward – so that makes me just cry a little 🤫

      I’m still careful though.

      My people are like that movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” I have that with them ❤️ I have really incredible loving supportive people – I am very thankful ❤️

      Also they like a family to me. I am touched ❤️

      I will let them know if or when I need them. I will say if I need.

      But I do have incredible support and love while going through this. All of it.

      I always think of that saying – it takes a village… cause it does ✌️❤️

      The hardest part is just that it is my mom. I hold her above all others for the life and love she gave me ❤️ so… I will never have that ever again.

      I just miss her – I really miss her 😭💔 it will never be that again but I cling to it – I want to wish it away soooo bad!!!

      But I am just irrational because I want her back – that’s my mom 😭💔

      I am not ready to lose her

      But ya know- realistically – is life. So I know that too.

      It’s a brain heart battle ✌️🙏💔❤️

      Very very very emotional!! I also hurt to see her suffer in any way… omg it’s awful!

      Thank you – is good to see you again! Did you ever make it to Sac town? Or did you go to Oregon? I hope you are happy and well!! 🙌 ❤️

      Thank you very much ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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