My mom

My mom was seizing this morning 😮😵

And her tongue and stomach swelled

Not good news

She is in hospital – they could not bring down swelling and she is now intubated.

We don’t know much yet – but that is the nature with Alzheimer’s 😩

She fell this morning into that seizure… and they send me pictures because she has huge bruise on forehead and scratches

They tell us – not good news … they been running tests and we know more shortly.

Oh boy … 2022 … please have mercy!!

18 thoughts on “My mom

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      1. Don’t worry friend. My Lord Shiva will give long life to your mother.

        We worship Lord Shiva the three-eyed one, the one who is the master of all senses and qualities and the one who is the sustainer of all growth. May he release us from the bondage of death, just as a ripened cucumber is released from its stalk, and may he (not deprive us of immortality) grant us immortality.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you ❤️

        I googled and read about your Lord Shiva – that is very sweet and thoughtful of you to say for my mother – thank you very much for your kind thoughts and words ❤️❤️❤️



    1. I know 😩💔 is so much lately.

      Her mind is gone. A slight spirit is left so … I dunno. She is 75 😭💔 I was not ready to lose them yet.

      But yeah – tough – I have to accept it but it just breaks my heart very much 💔

      Ok well – I can be sad all day long but is just life so I am a little mad that I have to accept such loss

      I can’t do anything about it but be sad/heartbroken.

      It was just really hard for us to suddenly lose both our parents like this. Completely rocked our world. So

      I know it’s coming – whew … I will have to accept when it does

      I can’t just have her forever 💔

      So I have to figure out how to accept – I not do very good. Is my mom

      But it’s coming. So I need to brace. I don’t have her anymore , so why am I so upset??

      I want her to have peace… but I just also want her back – which will never happen – but my heart is just tied to her so tightly!!

      Like a little kid… I am holding on to her leg – my last time … and I have to let go.

      Like when you in kindergarten and don’t want them to leave

      But I do want her to have peace. Be free

      It’s just very sad to me to lose her.
      I fear her end. But it’s coming – I just quickly have to come to terms.

      Is ok she can go if she needs – I do not want her to suffer. Her mind is gone anyway… is ok she can go.

      But it’s just gonna break my heart soooo much

      I am very blessed she is my mother. ❤️ I loved having her love in life ❤️

      So just heartbreaking because she love us so deeply and now that will be gone

      So I am blessed to know that love – and sad to lose it.

      What’s that saying ? Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?

      It just hurts a lot 💔 and Alzheimer’s makes me watch her fade away from me, before it takes her.

      I don’t like any of this

      Thank you for your emotional support – appreciate very much. 🙏 ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I can relate to this loss twice on another level, just as much heartbreak of a different nature.

        I lost Scrappy Doodlepip [my dog of 16+ years, in January 2020]; she was one of my closest friends. She had been with me since 2003 and was my last dog of a once-massive pack of 6. I have always had more intimate friendships with my dogs than with people, especially my parents, as the latter relationships were harsh and brutal.

        But Scrappy sadly had K9 dementia – she had other ailments too, she had cancer [but that wasn’t killing her], and she had chronic arthritis [that wasn’t killing her]. Still, she had lost her mind back in the first few months of 2019 to dementia, and it was heartbreaking for me to live with her like that.

        But in January 2020, everything just became too much, and l had to let her go for many reasons, but primarily dementia, her quality of life was so poor. But l lost my best friend twice, and not once could l ever say goodbye to her. It now breaks my heart and tears me up writing it, as it still hurts so much. It is a horrible disease, matters not whether it is human or animal. You lose those you love once when they get the damn thing and then again when they are gone, and you can never say goodbye to those you have loved the most.

        So l do understand what you are going through so very much.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Aww … I cry to read that – yes! You do lose them twice or every time they slip. It’s a reoccurring devastation.

        Initially it was mercy because I lost my other family so fast and all at once … so hers was slow. I thought be better but is not. It’s worse. I have to watch her suffer

        And you are right, you can never say goodbye because their mind is gone. 💔

        When we first learned she had Alzheimer’s – we had to get her diagnosed – she was in denial… wouldn’t accept … but was dangerous for her to be alone… so finally she relented to us… and then life changed. We had no instructions from my father and he was hiding her Alzheimer’s so now we just figure how to care for her. Is hard at every turn

        Is an honor to care for her, as she cared deeply for us. ❤️

        But we just wanna do best by her….

        Today is my parents 51st wedding anniversary … today we take the intubation tube out and see if she ok and do ok? I am nervous my dad will want her today – but she wants to be with him, so that will be a comfort when she passes – she will be with him again – they be together

        It’s just hard because is my mom. We were so close and now I don’t have her and every time she slips or it takes her away it kills my heart just little more and more.

        I feel like little kid because I want my mom so bad

        It is something I just have to accept. I just having hard time

        Thank you for your compassion and heart – appreciate – is horrific to lose anyone to this. 💔

        It makes you watch death take someone from you 😭💔 and you helpless.

        I saw somewhere they had 100% remission in renal cancer patients with some new thing they try recently…

        So that is hope for cancer ❤️

        But we don’t really have hope for Alzheimer’s yet 💔 it is a horrific manner to lose someone 💔

        How to cure the mind?? They not there yet.

        I read a lot of things about Alzheimer’s … I try every little trick they say to prevent…

        But I also kinda have a wake up call too…

        My father died because the chemo and radiation weakened his system- and his heart could not handle anymore – he had a heart attack.

        Now years later – my mom has Alzheimer’s and she have heart attack. Her arteries are clogged

        So then – all that turns around on me… I should probably eat better – I’m not 20.

        And since they both have heart attacks now I need to watch that.

        I come from them… so their fates are a warning to me.

        I am very sad for the ending of my family 💔

        I don’t know what happens after death – everyone can say everything they believe but no one knows

        I want to believe my mothers words that everyone is happily waiting for you and excited to be with you again…. But she doesn’t even know that… that’s just her sunshine and roses to make it not be so bad.

        When I was little I just had a love for everything Egyptian ❤️ … I was fascinated by their pyramids and how they did their death… to believe they would come back to earth and have their possessions

        I always thought was beautiful – but I would also think – that just doesn’t happen.

        But it sorta did for them? Because they come back to life now… we find them and bring them back… with all their possessions and stories

        So they sort of have a second life? They were not wrong. They just didn’t know specifically how.

        My mother won’t come back like that… maybe that’s why I loved Egyptian so much – that there was a hope of return? A sentiment that is not forever – just a moment? And the comfort of things one loved in life?

        Perhaps is the thought of that – which is comforting?

        But I also know when she passes – she will not be sad or in pain or suffer … so is release for her…

        I want to imagine her to be with my father again because they had such a deep love.

        He loved her very much and she loved him … so he already died … and then she will be with him in spirit

        My mind just flashes so much on losing her – I just want her to be ok and I love her so much.

        I was not ready even at my age – to lose my parents 💔😭

        I feel like little kid- who just wants their mom and dad – because I do!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It has to be hard to lose parents especially for children who are close to their parents. Suze lost her mum in her later thirties early forties and it hit her hard, because Suze was adopted and never knew her bio mum until only recently and they are not close whereas her mum and her truly were. Suze’s mum had a fall one day and simply never woke up after a coma set in. She lost her dad who died of a broken heart in truth less than 15 years later, and then she lost her closest aunt in 2014.

        She has one more cousin and they are really close, but her cousin also lost her mum to Alzheimer’s – it’s a cruel cruel world.

        Sorry l meant to answer your email properly before Trisha. Suze is doing okay, still some nasty side effects and currently we are in isolation against covid. Aside from aches and pains she is good.

        She sends her regards and hugs to you as do l.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yes – my mom was my best friend through all of life… we talked and laughed every day before my dad died and little bit after before Alzheimer’s took over … she was everything to me – is my mom

        Aww I feel for Suze 💔

        Alzheimer’s is very cruel … but I’m glad that Suze has a cousin to connect with.

        I have aches and pains too… I am not in technical isolation but I work for funeral homes so we always isolate and be careful

        No one comes to see us until they need to.

        Please give Suze my best. I hope she feels better 🙏

        Thank you for your support ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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