Yeah – nope

Ok so there is nothing like throwing everything possible at me all at once 😮😮😮 oh my!!

So yeah I want second opinion – I just look at lab work they want me to do… nope – it for my spine

Did you not hear what I say? It is not my spine is my breast … so I’m just not gonna schedule that… and I will book appt with another doctor.

She wrong – I’m telling you straight up is breasts so are you gonna listen or not? She doesn’t know me or my history and she’s wrong

So yeah we will just redo – those are the wrong tests. I am not going through shit again so… are gonna listen? Or just no?

I am not doing any of those tests – I will make appt with another doctor. The tests are wrong… so no. Didn’t listen so nope … it’s 100% the breasts!!

The fuckin spine – dumb – it’s not the spine. If you see photos I have you would understand so… I am not doing those tests. I will see one more doctor.

Yes, life is precious. Those tests are wrong. It’s my breasts not my spine so whatever – not doing. I gladly force myself to do, when they listen and know what doing

(I still want the nurse… she was amazing! She listened ❤️)

One more try. We see

Ok then daughter… I am disappointed in a grade she bring me. Also, lately someone has been umm?? I don’t know the word to use? Taking for granted? So… I tell her I am disappointed and explain where and what she is taking for granted.

That was big discussion – mostly me… I lay it down.

Ok so – ready little girl… welcome to mom’s summer training for the pre-adult lol 🙌

There will be subjects and fun lessons – so… summer 2022 …

Yeah woman gonna have some lessons this summer – don’t worry … this is my 3rd time

Then work… and of course I am always busy!! Crazy busy!! Always

But gas is climbing – and remember the job close to me? I want it… because I save so much just in gas – immediately – I could walk to work ❤️❤️❤️

I would not need a car!! 😮 I would have one for dr and stuff but I wouldn’t need it! Maybe I wouldn’t have one… we have a lot of golf carts and NEV vehicles that drive in my city 🙄 lol whatever – but that’s an option lol

They want me and position wide open… so I don’t know that I can say no? So that is pressure – how I gonna say no? … I think of gas prices and other things so… I don’t think I can afford to say no…

Usually it’s life that pushes me… now death is pushing me 🤨 it is pushing me closer to home.

When gas was normal… I liked working in another city… no one knew me there – just from where I work and I never know anyone who dies before they die. When I come home – it’s like an escape… different area – away from big city … is nice

But then I will be literally RIGHT HERE!!! IN MY TOWN 😮😮 I know people here… many… and they know me!!

And then my work will be closer to home… do I want death closer to home ?? Ummm nervously when I look at gas and wear & tear on car – ok yes fine come closer to home.

The gas prices – I just can’t and they supposed to go higher … so I think I have to take it? We see I gonna ask questions

But that’s little pressure to leave my group, my people. I still be in same company but another group and another funeral home. By my house 😮

I could walk

So how I gonna say no?

I pushed now

Ok so whatever

And then

I dunno… is all just a lot

It’s a lot.

So leave my people 😮 go to new people 😮

No commute, no gas ⛽️ 🙌

Train daughter to adult correctly

And see another doctor.

Sounds like nothing- but it’s alot

I have millions of thoughts on so much!!

Oh yeah I also have to get the real license before my birthday because my drivers license expires on my birthday!!! Ugh 😑 the DMV

Omg so much stuff ✋ stop!! Ugh

Ok well whatever – I got it!

11 thoughts on “Yeah – nope

Add yours

  1. You got this – yes, yeah and yeppitty do da it’s a lot but you got this 🙂

    I with you, on your breasts .. mm, that doesn’t sound right, well maybe, but no l am digressing, if you think and believe in your gut it’s your breasts then absolutely demand another opinion. Doctors l feel are going for easier rides at times instead of listening to their patients – you got this. I think of Deborah James and her cancer and doctor’s not listening to her.

    As to the closer to work deal, not rocket science and a no brainer, looks like a big win financially, emotionally and positivity. If death is your game then so be it!

    Have a great Thursday when it swings in 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah last time they came at me so fast and didn’t listen or help me and another surgeon had to step in to fix…

      So I feel overwhelmed with them …

      Because they not order right tests from start … and I feel anxious now because spine? Now I think they don’t know what doing and that makes me have sheer panic.

      So I feel backed into corner and panicked. I having flashbacks and nightmares about last time so…

      I will see. I am highly uncomfortable with this.

      I think it’s just best to try one more doctor. I would not have come forward for help if was not for pain… I just want them to actually “help” me, and I don’t feel that.

      So I’m gonna try one more doctor and see. I also don’t want huge unnecessary medical bills for things that were not needed!!

      I just want them to listen and fully see… they think I am normal patient – they do not know what happened and have not seen pics – I asked to send them pictures and they don’t know how I can do that?? They don’t even know how to use their own app?? 😮

      And regarding the job by my house – I’m gonna be forced to take. It be better by my house … but I leave all my people. Would probably be less stress? I don’t know? Is same company so who knows

      We can’t get new hires because the company does not pay enough to be competitive with fast food or something- and. We do funerals!! Not tacos

      Ahhh it’s Friday 🙌 oh thank god!


  2. Inflation is causing rise in prices, all commodities and gas too. Here as well. Prices very high mostly. They hiking interest rates but that doesn’t work immediately. It will take time. Like 6-9months to take effect. So you should think into everything.

    I am confused, but I think I understand a little about teaching son and daughters when they are growing up about adult life. You are an awesome mother. 👏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. They been hiking our interest rate since maybe January?? I really really lucked out being locked into a rate – I would not have gotten a house otherwise, I could not have afforded a house now 😮😮

      My interest rate is 2%… but it is currently 5% or in that area and they probably gonna raise it again.

      That will drop home prices because general people are priced out currently …

      If I bought my same house NOW my mortgage payment would be $3000-$4000 a month 😮😮😮 😵

      I bought it in January 2022! That’s how fast it changes!

      And everything going crazy high! Gas, groceries, literally everything!

      So I will be working closer to home maybe? Living on ramen lol

      Yes – as a parent you have to do lessons and guide them – she is few years away from being out in the world with her own future … I want her to be good person and have bright future…

      One day I won’t be here anymore and I want her to be able to stand up for herself and do good.

      So lessons lol … my lessons are not as crazy as life lessons but will prepare her

      Wax on/ wax off lol (reference from the movie the Karate Kid 😄✌️ – the original) ❤️

      I already lay down the law… and yesterday she came home with A and highest grade on math exam!!

      See effort – she put effort in and did… so I am gonna focus on those lessons ✌️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha yeah she does good when she puts in effort… she could have the world with effort, so want her to see that. Realize

        I just want her to know how to survive and also care for self or whoever else.

        Also she just got herself a work permit lol ❤️ she did that on her own … in California you can work with a permit at age 15 & 1/2 … she wants a job lol ❤️ check her out.

        I will have to teach how to be smart with Money too lol

        I want her to learn to cook or whatever – be ready for life.

        Her first summer job lol … I dunno what she wanna do?? Wow my baby!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow it’s nice. Here we don’t even need work permits. Because government restricts child labour till the age of 18. So if we want to work, we need to just get it and start working without making any fuss. I don’t have the full information regarding this though.

        So I am a little surprised that there work permits are a thing and can be taken as soon as 15 years old. Very different world.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Here you are allowed to have a job at age 16… but a child is allowed to have a job at 15 with a work permit that is signed by the school and by parents.

        She doesn’t have to work currently – but she would like to have a job and is good learning for her

        For her a job would be different … she would be part time only… and there are restrictions on how late she can work and things like that.

        Usually is jobs like fast food or retail – a simple job to introduce them to work force

        She wants to save for a car… she drives soon 😮😮 … she can have her drivers license after this coming December when she turns 16 😮

        ** on a side note – I always say to my kids – you need job come see me lol… but none of them wanna come to funeral home lol 😄🤷‍♀️


      4. So they don’t allow you to work until age 18?

        Interesting 🧐

        If my daughter works as babysitter or mows someone’s lawn – or even paper route (delivering news papers) – she can work those jobs whatever age … I was babysitting other people children or my siblings since I was 9. For that type of job – no permit needed

        But if she want to enter actual work force before age 16, she needs permit.

        Is good for her to have some responsibility and begin to learn how to adult

        It is her choice – she went and got the work permit on her own… she asked me about getting a job, and I said she could if she wants, but currently need permit due to age… and she went and got one… now she just has to find a job who needs teenager lol

        She will have restrictions like time allowed etc

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Well I searched it up, and found that children upto and below age 14 are not allowed to work by force or will. It’s an offence here.

        And the children aged 15-18 are not allowed to work in any hazardous environment. But they can work if they are willing to and get hired by people. Mostly such as retail shop assistant, newspaper delivery, etc.

        I was confused and wasn’t fully aware when I commented. So I apologise for that. 😬

        Your daughter is very mature for her age, very responsible as she knows exactly what she is doing. Good parenting I would say. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I think that is same as us??

        Yes she is mature – mostly lol ✌️

        She is good girl, kind and sweet. Smart – but still needs guidance to be adult.

        She’s good girl though ❤️

        At 15 you think you know the world – so ya know – there will be learning ✌️😘

        I want to make sure she is strong to handle all of life. 🙏❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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