I went to doctor. She was ok… I don’t know she totally listened but we see.
So I got there, filled out some forms and met the nurse I spoke to yesterday – she was the sweetest ❤️ I adore this nurse!!
The only reason I am giving them any kind of chance is because they have been nice and kind … not like the other place … the other one – you were just a number.
This nurse is so kind and compassionate – what a good person she is ❤️
She was asking me tons of funny questions …
She ask me if I am pregnant or plan to be lol …
Ok so … if you gonna ask me questions like that you gonna get funny answers … if you directly asking me a question I’m just gonna say what answer hits my mind at that moment ?? Lol ✌️
So are you pregnant? So I laughed and was like “god no!!”
Then she ask me … do you still have a period?
And she starts to laugh … then she asks … are you sexually active? “Oh no no!! God no, Nope!!” And she started to laugh because of my reaction (women know)
She then asked series of questions and wanted to know if I smoked or drank … lol … nope nada.
So then she says “so you a good girl then – no smoking, no drinking, no sex?”
I just very quickly said “I’m just smart” lol ✌️😄
We were talking and she ask where I work and I tell her … well she just lost her husband so she cried and then apologized for crying to me… and then she tell me little about it
She was Indian – so they do the washing … and cremation … that’s what she tell me. She said she is so thankful and kept saying that to me even ❤️🙏 the person who helped her she said was perfect how thankful they are and how beautiful it was …it does make a difference to people – they grieve and so when you help them through dark time – they thankful. That was her.
What a sweet sweet woman. ❤️ She is still really heartbroken over her loss 💔 awww
Is hard. Because your heart entangles. The “heart strings“ … and you lose someone and then the world is not the same. She is still in the stage where it feels like he’s gonna walk back in any moment – she just lost him ☹️💔
And you just imagine growing old with someone and then that doesn’t happen – she’s got grown kids who help her ❤️ omg sweetest woman ever ❤️ I like her a lot
Can they just assign me a nurse? Can I just have her ? I like HER!! ❤️
I feel comfortable with them because they show me humanity not cold doctor stuff – that is the ONLY reason they getting my time of day.
They have to set me up with a couple other doctors… so I ask for female
For most won’t be issue … but I might have to have a man here or there
I’m supposed to put my life in a man’s hands ha!
Yeah I know – issues – whatever
My first plastic surgeon was a man – awful person. I have photos but I don’t want to show.
My second was a woman who fixed what the man did so.
Yeah … we see.
I am just cautious.
If my life gonna be in your hands for whatever – I’m gonna be cautious man or woman but I am more at ease with a woman … AND …
I got teary and had the lump in my throat, but I didn’t sob … cried a little but I did good!! I didn’t cry the whole time… I could handle.
It was because of that nurse – just let her be my nurse!! Just assign her to me!! I need her lol … it was her who make me not cry like normal ❤️
Sweet woman with a good heart ❤️ they should just let me have her – she’s perfect! Right away! I wish she was my doctor. Then I would be fine – I would trust her. Yeah like that. So… I’m glad she was there. I’m sorry for her loss and sadness 💔
Is hard to see people have that heart bleed.
Anyway… was her. ❤️ I did not sob because of her ❤️ I was able to keep composure mostly – because of her ❤️
So. We see.
They wanna do an MRI, on my breasts and we can get good look at implants. Make sure no rupture or problems.
And then she think something else has to do with my spine… but I think she’s wrong… I have scoliosis – it’s mild – you wouldn’t notice but I can show you how my spine curves if I bend over and touch my toes … one shoulder blade is higher than the other.
But she thinks the pain I have coming from breast to my back and up my neck is spine related
I think she’s wrong – but we see.
They gonna ex ray my spine or something ?? I dunno whatever hope you right – we see
I also have to have a lot of blood work done. Meh
See … they invading my life again.
It wouldn’t be so bad if they just let me have that woman all the time… just let her talk to me lol
But they are invading. I am back with doctors and hospitals. I am more comfortable at this place since they have been human and kind. Ok we see
But that was first time I go to doctor for this and not sob… so I wish to have her with me every time so I be fine… it was her… so I want her.
But yeah they don’t do that. They do not have patient advocates anywhere
I just wish they did because she made me feel at ease… so I want her. She has a gentle heart. And was sweet and kind and funny and human! So I just wish they would let me have her to come with me every time!
So I dunno… they kind of invading little bit or a lot already. Ugh ok
The doctor was a woman, and she seemed nice, she was Indian too but she seemed little colder than the one I like … very nice just not as human? More doctor.
She was still nice – I don’t know she quite listen to what I say is pain – it has nothing to do with my spine – my spine is fine – don’t go looking for stuff !!
It’s not my spine … why do they not listen? But whatever – just whatever – go ahead you be the doctor, we see.
Yeah – I think they need to let me have that nurse woman for all my appts with whoever – I just want her. She has compassionate heart and sweet soul, I want her. I am absolutely positive I wish to have her!! Like instant!
Some people you just click instant – I click with her instant!! Right away!!
So. I really wish they let me have her. I won’t sob with her!! She already be in hospital so I’m not bringing anyone … they really should allow a patient advocate like that. I would like her to be mine. She could explain things and then I wouldn’t sob.
I keep saying that because I want that – but it’s not a thing so I’m just dreaming because they invading.
They doing good with me though … they allowing me to breathe through it and take slow… we doing step by step so I not too overwhelmed – but I dunno
It’s seemingly getting little invasive? Careful – trigger. Be careful – just let me have that one woman!! I felt calm with her there. I did not want her to leave.
See I just want that lady. I could be ok with her. I attached 😮 she just had such a beautiful soul so … that would make me feel better. I just didn’t sob so…
I don’t really remember what else happened in the day? It is half day because is last week of school.
Also… rather on the hot side now… omg here we go… but no then it drops. So I dunno what weather doing?
I also have no idea what’s happening in the world or the next big thing is? I know there is still a war … my gas is almost $7.00 … yes … almost SEVEN!! Check it… this was this morning… Northern California USA
Yeah zoom in on that shit!! Omg
What the F?!
It’s gonna force me. Ugh stupid stuff
This is dumb! Seriously? Ugh 😑
Ok tmrw is Wednesday
Hump day? The middle of the week. You away from Monday lol
Oh hahaha – I did see one moronic story about twitter – oh how stupid and I don’t even know what is or what going on!! Whatever – like that is news – who cares ?? Gimme a break I don’t even wanna hear about Musk guy
I went to see what was going on in the world, turned it on – saw that was news and thought nope. So turned it back off
Here… Psy is back… way better …
Not as great as his first – but he still makes me smile – he’s just cool. 😎 I like him. Lol ✌️
My favorite always gonna be Gangnam Style
Ok well … tomorrow is maybe blood tests and we see MRI . Ugh it’s so much things
Ok I feel sick it be fine… I know. Just a lot of things I don’t like
None of my self pep talks work at all… I will say it be fine – but then I don’t like that – because I don’t know. So they just don’t work.
Instead I have to think – what is alternative… so that might scare me little more.
And someone is worse than me and I complain…
That kinda gives perspective and then … it makes me not fight it so much.
Anyway… I am tired 😴 ☹️🥲 always.
I do not have balance – bleh
I will – but just not right now – unless they let me have that woman! Then I am good. I could do without crying if she there. Or minimal crying and definitely not sobbing, so they should just let me have her for that reason!!
Ok well – whatever it won’t happen – I secretly wish if I say it enough it will just become true lol … because I just want her as a patient advocate – come with me to dr help me not cry and explain. I be totally happy with just that.
Ah but whatever – I’m already dreaming before I fall asleep so whatever
Ok so I be around. Maybe reading responding posting. I do as can is hard to get much sleep. Too many things