Ok so… I have pressure. But that’s ok – I think I can handle. Maybe.
We having some mandatory stress management class on Monday 🤨
Ok… we see… cause what they gonna tell me? Self care – remember self and own life yeah yeah yeah… that’s why I work lol
So what exactly you think you can tell me? See it better be good because we work on front line of death so… what you got to tell me? You better know the experience before you tell me how to manage stress lol
So we see – I do not have a lot of faith that it’s not gonna just be corporate talk
So ok – you tell me how then
I already know “balance” and self care – so what you got?
This should be interesting – I’m curious lol – better be good – I missing 2 hours of work! I have install and end of month – I have soooo much work!!
I do not really have time for stress management lol … so better be good! Do not make me roll my eyes!!
None of the words fit or pertain at all to me – other than maybe having people dance at my funeral because there is totally a playlist ✌️😘 … but since I am funerals and I kinda like this song little bit lol … so whatever … here is new song :
(Lol the Osborne’s)
… I find it very hard to leave death in any aspect. Why is it so hard for me to leave death?? Why am I not running as fast as I can? lol ?? I don’t know what the hold is … is never good time and then I also don’t wanna lose what have.
I feel comfortable and safe with death 😮
But I am not sure what right decision is for “me”
There is massive change coming! Which ok but I can’t keep changing and changing and changing etc etc …omg!! Stop ✋ …. Peace with gradual change not insane crazy full throttle – cmon omg – all the time!!
I am tired so – I don’t know if is ok for me? It’s a lot. I’m nervous
And the transfer probably not gonna happen, my boss doesn’t wanna lose me and we gonna see what options avail to stay.
I’m not sure what I think about anything at this moment.
I have many things on my mind… so that my mind is just jumping from subject to subject. I am little overwhelmed but it’s ok. I got it
So yeah – tell me … stress management – what gonna say?
I stress about missing 2 hours of work – so what gonna say?
I can not wait to see what they say!! We see – I am skeptical of their effort
They give us info and schedule to next weeks training “this week” … ok sooo you can’t do that to funeral people – we are booked with services and contractors … we are 2 to 3 weeks out – so we have to juggle as is and now throw in training AND my end of month work. – cmon lol
Ok so how I manage stress ??? What they gonna say
So we see – I am critic lol ✌️ show me what you got.
Lol… so I dunno … we gonna see about many things
And then this morning in car with my daughter, on way to school … we were talking about something and she says “you get special treatment mom because you are beautiful” 😮😮😮
She was telling me about things at school and teachers and things – was same when I was in school
And no… I told her “I am beautiful because I take care of self (mostly-ish), I like lotions or perfumes because that gives you a scent to remember 😉… I just love scents … and I also wear make up, of course beautiful – I doll myself up” lol
To which she protested and said “ no you are beautiful even without make up” 😮😱 (just kidding with the faces) I dunno?? I am more self conscience and MASSIVELY quiet/shy/avoiding without make up. At home, I walk around make up less lol 😄 sometimes – when I am being lazy – I have no make up on lol … usually lol
I just like it for me to feel good with my own self
And everyone has different view of beauty
I like make up because is sorta like art? You just accent the areas you want. I have beautiful eyes so I accent those… and when I was growing up a girlfriends mother always looked so beautiful all the time…
She would tell us – if you never wear anything at all, at least wear lipstick 💄 💋… so I do lol … I remember that, but I also love lipstick so works out for me lol 😘
You paint what you want… see pretty cool when look at like that
I don’t mind no make up … I am just painfully shy that way and I feel is very personal so yeah 😘
I don’t wear a lot and some say they can’t tell a difference 🤨 but whatever – to me there is and I like it lol
My veil 💋✌️
If comfortable with someone I won’t care but otherwise yes I do lol – but for my own self – not anyone else – I just like it that way.
So whatever – I’m weird like that lol
Totally one of favorite songs ❤️ but I also love pretty much all her songs lol
I am always “me” … is just with my inner core I am highly guarded!! Massively so. Whatever I just prefer that.
So whatever – yes I am aware overly guarded lol
Country Boy maybe wanna stop by and see new house … but why? Cause don’t want emotions so why care?
That is hard to like and appreciate someone – but not want them in your life – maybe is the way he says it because he is very man … and I am very woman lol
I am not sure we speak same language lol (I’m kidding… but I don’t think we understand each other) ✌️
He is soooo much outdoor country man…
I am girly girl and don’t like bugs and stuff lol … no upper Chest strength for any heavy lifting of anything
Plus he has his issues – I have mine.
He just has woman issues 🙄 … I understand – he was hurt by 2 others – got it. But I’m not them so I am empathetic with his pain, but I am also not willing to be faulted as if was them / so whatever not my problem. I keep distance. I give him time and don’t turn away because of he he helped me through death and cancer so… I am forever thankful for his kindness and thoughtfulness
And me… I am highly guarded … I do not understand why he want to be my friend when he knows going to be no… and why care?
It’s very hard to have that because if there is no care then what is point? So I want to turn away… because if anything gonna be in my life – I want to actually want to be in my life so… otherwise fuck that shit!
I think he just wants me to think of him? Ok well put up or shut up lol … sorry but yeah
Because ya know I like peace so – whatever – I just do t want things in my life that will cause any kind of pain so I don’t want what he wants, or vice versa, so even for friends I’m gonna need emotions so if can’t do that then I can’t either. So whatever
I sometimes wonder if …nevermind – still in thought process
Then lol … some guy trying to sell me something today – I say no because no… I do not know enough and have to research so no salesman
As he talking to me – he’s totally flirting … he ask me if is a husband to speak to – I say no, boyfriend? No… anyone else who make decisions for home? No is me… lol – I am all you get lol
So he turned on flirt mode – very nice just flirty
And my oldest son calls me… you can hear a voice with my phone and my sons voice is deep lol
My son is like – ok we on way over …
I say ok … he says he gonna buy me some coffee frap – … I say ok I see you shortly
And we say bye and love you
As soon as I said that lol … he was done lol
Careful with what you think you know lol 😄😄 I should tell my sons … you need to call your mother more lol 😄😄
My favorite excuse is this:
I have a teeny tiny urn on my desk that makes me smile because I think of SNL lol
But son calling and saying “I love you” works just as well lol
Ahhh so funny whatever
I have a parental confession lol … when my children were little – they loved to talk on the phone and say hi to people lol … so when telemarketers would call and ask for the man or woman of the house – I would just hand to them … here sweetie – phone is for you lol
The telemarketer would always hang up – that was years ago before the recorded car warranty stupid thing!!! I hate you car warranty calls!! Fricken all the time – I don’t even have a car warranty! So get outta town with that crap!
Once when I was a child… we got an envelope from publishers clearinghouse lol … I was maybe 9 or 10? And it said “you may have just won” whatever money so my mom ❤️ she was always so fun ❤️
We got all excited and jumping up and down and then my dad comes home and bursted our bubble thinking maybe we win lol – but it was fun lol – she was always fun and kind. We always laughing and things – so anyway
I am on call tonight – yes on Friday I am on call … so listen – NO DYING!!! You stay alive!!! NO DYING on Friday!! 🙏🙏🙏 just don’t – try to hold off 😘✌️
Boys are here ❤️✌️