Sorry I have been away. Things were very overwhelming to leave … I sobbed
And then returning was emotional too. My kids… my daughter flew into my arms and held me so tight and we sobbed … she just held on and cried and cried 💔😭 and boys held me too, they just didn’t cry.
We watched a movie but someone in the movie had Alzheimer’s so I cried and we couldn’t finish it 💔 I couldn’t stop crying
And my work family … I love some of them very much. they’ve been very caring and wonderful!! (Except 1)
I am slower and just kinda emotional
I go to write but then cry – I cry to even mention that. Because everything I go to say, hits my heart really hard. 💔
And my mother on the last day I saw her – had a piece of paper in her hands that she would fold and unfold … I asked if I could look at her paper
She handed it to me… and I opened it up … it was a coloring picture of a pumpkin and Minnie Mouse sitting on top of the pumpkin – she stayed in the lines but colored everything purple and she had colored it in sections.
It was first real time I could see her really clear 😭💔 was like a first grader did it 😭😭
I asked if I could have that and she asked “you want that?” And I cried … yes I do 💔❤️ 😭😭😭
I am going to frame it for my walls, because she made it and it’s probably last thing I will have that she made 😭💔
And sometimes she there with me and sometimes no.
See it all just makes me cry – so I just be little silent. A lot of emotion
I am absorbing everything from the visit – and also my family here.
Was good visit – happy I got to go and also have extra time with them – just alot of emotions I am overwhelmed with. 💔
When I am little bit better and don’t keep crying I will be back – sorry I just can’t yet. I am not good for writing or things yet. Even just this has made me cry to remember or write things
Things just currently break my heart 💔… so when I am better I will return.
I’m sorry I will be back soon. I’m just not ok yet 😭💔 I will be. I just need little time, I’ll keep trying.
It’s just better that I am silent because I am way too sad. It makes me cry too much still
Everything just really hitting
So I will return soon – just trying to balance – need a minute to collect myself, still shaky ☹️💔
I am processing
I miss you all ❤️