Time

Good morning…

I’m gonna relax this morning on watering – I water twice a day… and has only been in the 80’s… I think is over watering? Some still have water. So I will skip one morning. I am giving an excuse to avoid 😘✌️… but is also true – I just lucked out that way.

That works because I want to avoid the dog 😳

Sorry… I do really love animals… but I can’t do the insane crazy high energy… oh boy.

I am sure I will get used to it… I just need time. It’s overwhelming and I am already tense… plus I can’t have a dog jumping all over me with that right side being how it is.

So I just want to avoid right now ✌️

I will have to deal with later – but I just want peace right now.

I am definitely a mellow person… totally not high energy

I do have energy with excitement I have towards certain things… but I am just slower with the arm… and I am tired from stuff … and I’m not done yet. I have been hiding away in seclusion.

My balance is my peace – crap!

Where is THIS house?? …

Sort of kidding … but I look at that and think … ohhh wow!! Can you imagine? You could do anything you wanted so freely!!Play your music as loud and you want, be topless or whatever else … they need a pool… yes I see the ocean – but I would prefer a nice safe pool. No sharks or anything… no surprises – no virus

But would that be lonely? Hmm 🤔 I’m really not sure? I am too blinded with the thought of doing anything I want, to even think about the lonely part.

Like that first time mom and dad let you stay home alone…

www.youtube.com/watch

But I suppose after awhile it would get lonely??

Probably because I am social. Just slower with that coming into my place of peace – cause I kinda need my home to be peace? Totally … I went through so many years where wasn’t peaceful… I am very tired. The one place I want peace for sure – is my home.

I am extremely protective to what enters my home life. Severely protective – cause I need peace there, to keep a grip.

I am not very good with overly high energy. It backs me up. 😮 it’s just overwhelming. I am already stressed.

I am just really really private… this morning, I was going to walk up to the gate to open it…

But instead, my thought went to the dog and people… ok I will drive – I don’t want to get stuck in a stressing situation… so I drove up to the gate to open it.. is a far walk. Usually I like it because it’s usually REALLY peaceful.

So I did that, but I ran into anyway. I had to get out to get the gate to stay open… it’s electric – but I have to trip a button to get it to stay open.

If I was walking would have been way worse. Bleh.

I just need time.

6 thoughts on “Time

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  1. The only people I currently allow into my home are emergency repair techs and the neighborkid (I generally try to keep her out but when she goes in on her own, I don’t freak about it). This is my isolation chamber!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t mind my landlord coming in – or the Maintenence guy – whatever …

      My girlfriend helped me move in and has been over a couple times – but I prefer to go over there.

      Country boy has been over 2 or 3 times… but he’s not allowed over anymore. My rule. I never minded him because he was supportive with me coming out here to the country. And he’s never made me feel bad about that. But I can’t handle him coming over now.

      I just kinda absorb the peace out here. I just wanna be able to breathe?

      I came out here – I know this sounds bad… but to not be bothered.

      I like being social, but I need a safe place to escape to. I just want to get away from the world sometimes… and this is where I came when everything happened.

      So ya know. I don’t know really what to think. I don’t want to be unfriendly… but it’s a lot. And there is a lot currently on my shoulders

      ~sigh~

      Like

      1. I pretty much “closed” my house after breaking up with the last guy I was seeing. One of my cat’s needed a litter box in my bedroom and I decided to commit to the whole Crazy Cat Lady thing and leave people behind.

        Liked by 1 person

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