Stone

I feel like crying for no reason? It’s not that I’m sad? Cause I don’t think I am? Overwhelmed? Yes totally.

I am trying to snap out of it – but not even my music is working. I just feel impending doom… I dunno?? I’m scared for next Friday – I’m really traumatized by that completely!

Yes I will share soon. Before then. I think?

So I just need to straighten myself up… have backbone – this is probably the most traumatizing thing to me. So I need to not cry.

I need to be Stone – I can not have any emotions whatsoever – so I don’t know how to do that. And that adds to the terror. I am not allow or supposed to show any emotion at all.

This is going to be hard. And I’m scared…

It’s nothing I have done, but what has been done to me… so I’m just nervous. And scared and don’t believe in a few things that I used to…

And then that right there makes me feel that lump in my throat.

Anyway… from now until next Friday – I’m gonna be all over the place… bleh!! I really hate these heavy emotions. Very much!!! 😝

Ok be like stone!! I don’t know if I can do stone – that is not who I am … I have to stifle who I am – I don’t do well with that.

4 thoughts on “Stone

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    1. Don’t have anyone’s hand to hold, it is inevitable – I can NOT run away, I have to face this – no choice.

      I have never been protected in this, and haven’t been allowed to speak… I am just all alone in it, even more so now… and I’m in a corner…

      So I’m not going to run, I am going to face this – and at this point … I’m done being quiet.

      It’s either be crushed or “TRY” not to be crushed

      So I’m gonna TRY – but I’m just really scared and the whole thing right away makes me just want to cry and I feel way too much emotion!!

      I will tell you – just busy currently 😘✌️ thank you

      Liked by 1 person

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