Ahhhh finally Friday! This week went fast though!
So. I’m still not sure what to think with guy? I do like him, I do not get a bad vibe – seems very sweet hearted ❤️
Enjoys texting but not overwhelming … and was nice to see him last night for dinner – enjoy his company 😊
Maybe I say careful because I’m so used to being on my own and that freedom ? 😮😮😮 did I get addicted to peace ? Lol kidding sorta – how much do I like that? 😮
I don’t really know myself in this area – so that’s another reason I say “careful” lol ✌️
But he’s sweet, very kind and thoughtful towards me and actually acts like a gentleman
Says funny and also sweet things, convos are awesome cause if I talk to him we always talking or laughing very simple and easy
Sometimes I think I might make him bit nervous – but I also think he really likes me, so that’s why… I am quiet and sorta reserved in that area – because I am observing
As a “love” he would be …
https://youtu.be/2Vv-BfVoq4g?si=yxiYqsbqtaqmp7mA
Cause he acts that way 😮 just like that 😮 he has a romance to him – very sweetly though, and since I did know him before – a long time ago… as just acquaintance he smitten??
We can talk about anything, and he’s so supportive
It’s his humanity I am watching – cause that’s a thing for me – I am also gonna watch how he handles anger … cause I haven’t seen that yet
I can’t really tell – he has a softness to him with me… is that with others too? Or just me?
I don’t know him well yet … he can tell me whatever he wanna tell me… but I don’t know him or his life …
So I am just seeing
If I trust him as a man – he better sure as hell be strong enough to trust a beautiful woman so we see
Are secure enough? Or will that be issue?
So just observing
So far is nice
I am little afraid of having any relationship because the peace I have is incredible – I answer to no one but self ❤️👏 you begin to love that and I have been on own for few years now
But then I would love companionship … I think? Not sure?? 😮😮😮
I don’t really give it too much thought 😮😮 omg
Who AM I? 😮
But I do like that he trying to connect with me… he is present … and makes an effort without totally overwhelming me
He does step carefully and very sweetly
I guess the thing that scares me is how fast people just are ??
I am pretty and have a body … so … not that it’s a bad thing … but ya know … “todays world” – can be little superficial – sorry but yes
So I am looking at motive too, and morals – who is as a person.
I think he is good person – but we will see
So if he is actually amazing – what do I want?
😮😮😮
What if I don’t know??? 😮😮😮
I don’t really feel lonely ? I have my kids, and work I care for many… is full life- I don’t have loneliness
But I do like him and do enjoy his company – so we see
I am a little afraid of myself in this area …
So yes – careful 😮
https://youtu.be/CqBtS6BIP1E?si=j9Wnl9rvkr9xFDcd
😮😮😮 I dunno if I am ready for stuff
But I won’t pass on someone amazing so we see … so far he’s doing really good
Careful though …cause I go silent if overwhelmed by anything I can’t handle – so we see … am I ok?
He knows I have that silence so maybe he hear me? But I don’t know – don’t go to fast – I am afraid of myself with the silence
I’m pretty, look younger than I am, and with a body… so going fast makes me nervous
I am nervous that THAT is what fall in love with
Yes I get attraction to cause the initial draw for some …
But do you hear who I am?
So we will just see many things one way or the other
He acts like this :
https://youtu.be/L6-uJLteKek?si=F7GFRl4EOFU_S6Ls
Since we knew same people – he has asked about me before – he said he asked and back then whoever he asked said “yeah she’s hot but married”
Ok so what do you see ? Me ? Or hot? Which one?
But yeah always learning lessons – I will see because he does seemingly have a humanity to him – so ok … I’ll give a chance – we see
https://youtu.be/Bx51eegLTY8?si=mQ3MBjuJ_mzpj-r6
I am nervous also of me? The silence scares me cause I don’t want to hurt anyone ever with anything!!
So just step slow and let me see
But I do like his kindness, sweetness and effort toward me… he is like this:
https://youtu.be/im8yO-CwqFE?si=yVeyf5ru7jKfL0sL
I just wanna make sure is right reason too
So alright – I will learn things 😳
Let’s see how this goes 😮
I understand your situation. It seems like you’re enjoying this person’s company but are also cautious due to your independence and the fast pace of relationships in today’s world. It’s good to be observant and take things slow to ensure it’s the right fit for you. Keep communication open and continue to evaluate your feelings and priorities.
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Well is more that I worry what motives are – I watching 👍
He will have no choice but to accept my independence – cause if not – bye 👋
But no I do not like the fastness of the world!
Yes communication is currently open
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Man, you spend sooooo much time trying to predict/plan the future! Take it as it happens… enjoy it while good, kill it if it turns bad.
I hope it surprises you with being all good!
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I think about your words … my funeral people live like “YOLO” cause of what we see … and I think of that …
I do wanna let go, but mentally I know what I can handle and what I can’t handle. I just do not want to ever be in bad position and don’t want drama – and never again want to give self to someone who is not good person
So mentally I can’t. I keep my balance being cautious… I’m ok with it.
But I will say… he makes me feel like the most important person 😮
But ya know – I just wanna see who is… I will cause he’s taking me to dinner on sept 30th – I will see his world cause is work function
He is busy like me so there is no neediness – but yet he’s thoughtful always and very kind
I won’t be able to let go of the emotions with just anyone – I know that mentally I need to keep that balanced – so I have to be cautious
I wanna make sure I am ok with how is going 😊
I just need time to know, then I be ok … as long as he doesn’t fuck it up before that lol ✌️
But yes – it is all good – I am impressed – and I am surprised 😮
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I’m glad it’s good.
You clearly have ptsd from the past and ongoing issues with satan. I’m really sorry about all that. It will be a bitch for you to trust anyone again.
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Hmm 🤔 well yes… I know I have that
I have to trust people I work with – I can not not trust them
I am just careful when someone comes close
I can trust but I am cautious when wants to come into my life romantically or sexually so… but that’s ok 👍
I like it like that – I feel secure when “I” decide what I want and what I’m ok with.
Certain thing are very important to me – so … this time around I just take my time.
Also… I am happy and not lonely – I have a wonderful life…
So… someone who enhances my life, or makes my life full of wonderful moments … then ok 👍 also be good person lol
I am fine by myself … so if want to catch my attention then ya know – they have to figure that out lol
If they want this… then make the effort and no bullshit
I do not need a man to make me happy so if one wanna come close – he better know how to do that and be decent human being
Point blank so- ya know … whatever 🤷♀️
Off subject he sent me this:
🫂
I have an iPhone – to me that looks like a heart coming out of a suitcase 😄😄
I asked what emoji is that? And he says “hugs” 😮😄😄
So I told him what I saw and he says that is morbid lol
I said hey you know where I work – I see morbid things lol
He say he gonna call me Dexter 😄😄
While I do see how could be 🫂 hugs… it still looks more like a heart coming out of a suitcase lol ✌️
But yeah – I like him – he gets one shot
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Are you okay? Sorry it took me so long to realize you disappeared.
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Yes – I am ok at moment… I have many overwhelming things so am situating everything the best I can. I do not currently have balance. I’m working on it … and I’ll get there – but little overwhelming currently. I’ll be back to post again soon 🙏 I planned on posting on Monday – but it was a Monday … so just a little quiet and absorbing everything
I am handling medical things and work, and courts and personal things too… just slightly overwhelmed – absorbing to organize myself
Thank you for checking on me ❤️ I hope you are doing ok 🙏
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Since you went MIA without posting your test results, I’m worried about your medical stuff.
I’m sorry Life is out of balance. I hope it calms down immediately!!!
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ps: I’m fine.
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