So I donāt know what to say ???
I donāt know what words I have ???
So I tell you – and you tell me ā¦
Yesterday military ask me if I let him take me out Saturday evening ā¦ well ok – we needed to talk about stuff and Iām getting to know him – so okā¦ itās winter Iāll give you some time – we see ā¦
I live off a wine š· trailā¦ itās a road with some incredible wineries that are just beautifulā¦. I donāt usually drinkā¦ so never visit but I know how beautiful they areā¦
Their wineries are over these incredible hills – itās very beautiful ā¤ļø some have restaurants and are incredible foods – those ones I know.
On the ride there ā¦ we talking ā¦ he say something about golf ā³ļøā¦ and I mention who I was
Then he lights up and says āthatās where I know you from!! I remember youā š®š®
I said ā¦what? I was familiar to you?
He said that he felt like he knew me, but couldnāt place where he knew me from. But he said now that I said that – he absolutely remembered me š® and then smiled really big
Ahhh life before death lol ok ā¦ so he remembers me. I donāt remember him – I see so many people then. I could think maybe vaguely ā¦ but then I am not sure – I just see so many people all the time back then
Thatās interesting
He knew me in life before death š®
That makes me remember back then – itās been so long ā¦ I forget that life.
Anyway ā¦ so ok ā¦ we get to this winery š· and itās beautiful but sooo different – itās in a cave š® but really beautiful – with twinkle lights and everythingā¦ live entertainment – just one person singing and other playing guitar šøā¦ it was beautiful. They were softly playing
We did a wine tasting and talked ā¦ I tell him what I thought and how I felt ā¦ he say let me just help you and we take slow
He also kept saying I so excited to be here with you.
He turning on a lot now
And then after that we went to dinner at this really beautiful Italian restaurant in town – dim lighting really romantic-ish
He was gentlemanly sweet respectful
Ugh and we have a lot in common
He say he knows I have guards and he does too, but letās just take life as comes slowly
Ok well that does not feel slow at all
I tell him some of my story so he understands ?? He says he does
And then says he wants me to come over and he will cook me a dinner, and he lives in a beautiful place – he wants to have dinner by the fire and Christmas š tree and show me Christmas because I deserve that š®
He say that š®
Boy is good š® dang – sweep a woman š®
He is military so Iām not overly surprised ā¦
He just leaves me in awe
Then he say to meā¦ just promise me one thing
Ok what?
And he say – promise me you will take care of yourself and stay around for meā¦ I could not handle another loss. I want you around
Ahhh ā¦ so how I supposed to be hard? And then I gotta do things I am scared of š®
So I dunno š¤·āāļø
I donāt know if reading this you get the full picture?
He kinda blinds me with things he says and does?
I do have caution with his āslow fastnessā but I do understand his reasoning why – I tell him how I feel with things ā¦ and so does he
He definitely tries to impress me or that is just who he is?? I donāt know? He is so happy when I am with him lol – he smiles all the time
Ok so there is that going on. š®
He calls to say helloā¦ and tells me he misses my soft voice
And texts good night every night and keeps saying how much he likes me ā¦
I said I was thinking about him one time when he texted ā¦ and he replies that he has been thinking of me non stop that I am all encompassing
Omg
And in the morning he text me hello and say how much enjoyed and thank you for time š®
Boy is good – knows his shit ā¦ damn military š® they train you well lol
Not to say I am not cautiousā¦ I am ā¦ but damn
And then alsoā¦ sometime people cross your path for reasons – you either gonna be a lesson or a blessing so we see
Ok military – we see
I kinda live la vida loca sometimes š®
It is very hard to stay really hard
My life – omg – whoa
I donāt know what to think š¤·āāļø
Learning Life 
Mm, l know l am cynical, but then when younger l used to be a player as you know, l also used to be an escort with a smile and a warm hug and l have seen all sorts of behaviours from women and men.
Whilst being involved in deep meaningful relationships changes you – there are elements to your brain as a man and some women l should imagne that are hard wired to certain things and behaviours from others.
My father was a military man and l know military lifestyle behaviours from afore – there is a swagger to those in the forces – a generalised cockiness a bravado that l never fail to see today in ex military.
So when l say this l say so as your friend albeit virtual – be careful – be extremely careful of that mourning and loss line – be mindful of the awe! and aaah factors.
Mt Military might well be genuine BUT even as you write this and l see the picture, l have little bells ringing from my own ‘before meaningful relationship life’ which is a lot like your own life before death life. He is playing the blurred line strategy game.
There are lines and then there are blurred lines and crossed lines too. Mr Military is dropping many blurred lines but l am cynical and l will accept that l am.
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Oh yes – I am too
It just ampāed up really fast š®
So in that case Iām not sure why 0-60?
And yes I am aware who I deal with. I am aware of military swagger lol ā¦ he does have little bit of cockiness
I am cautious still – he is pouring on pretty thickly
I am also skeptical
I still keep caution ā ļø Iām watching – we see
My concern with it is just that if go so fast, and blind with romance and thingsā¦ what is that preventing me from seeing or knowing?
I still have caution too ā ļø
Iām not gonna throw my life away for someone who isnāt sincere so Iām watching him
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And I never drinkš
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I donāt usually either.
We were at a winery š·
I didnāt drink muchā¦ just few sips – they had given us each a small tray with tastes of 4 different wines
I tasted each one but didnāt drink it all
Plus I wanted to be sure to speak my mind and not be clouded
But was nice.
I donāt want that to be reoccurring thingā¦ but was fine
I am watching what heās doing, Iām still cautious
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I know LOLš¹ just kidding with you Trishaā¤ā¤ā¤
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Yes but I am also watching that
Cause I donāt want him trying to cloud me? I want to see clearly not clouded.
šā¤ļø is ok I watch him and then I come here for opinions because I am unsure with my footing here and he turns it up pretty fast
So we see
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You are soooo sweet ā£ļøā£ļøš¤š¤
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Lol thank you š
So are you š¤ā¤ļø
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Don’t think. Let it play out. You’re allowed to bow out at any time so it’s okay not to overthink and try to predict everything!
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Well we see ā¦ he is just pouring on the romance š®
But I think part of that is healing for him and then I guess is healing for me too? I dunno – we see
I just keep my eyes open š
It makes me nervous having a man kinda come in close so little guarded with thatā¦ we see
He is supposably taking me out to dinner tonight – I am NOT a go out on weekday person lol ā¦ is like going out on a school night – I have routines ā¦
But he been sweet to me with everything so I can do thatā¦ is just out of my norm š®
But then I donāt date or go out so all of it out of my norm lol
Ok well we see
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