Titanium

Ok so I see how to know if ready or not… would I introduce this person to my children?

I am protective with ownself so… imagine with kids… I do not shelter them, but I am mother bear, and just no one ever meets them, except my inner circle

So would I introduce this person to my children?

No. I wouldn’t – I do not know him well enough

I am not comfortable with who he is yet – I don’t know him and he doesn’t know me or my life. He pulled the really fast card – and I am way slower – I can’t do fast at all … makes me think you are trying to hurry so I don’t notice something

I think of country boy … and I know him and who he is as a person …

Would I introduce him to my kids? Ha hmm 🤔

Well yes for the person he is, because I like who he is… but I know him for years – and no … he has never met my kids

I won’t do that until I am comfortably sure and at ease.

If I let you in my life like that – then you special to me… but those are my heart pieces, so you can’t come close to those until I am ready for you to.

That’s if anyone gets that far

I know country boy and I are NOT on same page – I know that.

But I want something and I don’t think we understand each other so… I love that he stays in my life because I do care about him, and I feel at ease with him -since know so long. And I’m comfortable with the distance he never complains about – I know he likes me because he still messages but not for any reason – maybe to remind me of him? I think he does that

Just usually if someone doesn’t want to be in my life, or I am not on same page with- I don’t keep them

He has always been kind, so I’ve been allowing that since he isn’t an asshole. Appreciate the friendship a lot

And I’m aware of his past too, so I am understanding. He is kind so I am ok with him – he is gentleman

I’m gonna need understanding also.

Would I let him meet my kids ?

We are not on same page so is just a no… I do not have to think about right now

I’m kinda guarded with that on both sides – with kids to meet someone who comes in my life 😮… and then with the person because if I like them enough to introduce – I hope would go well

So… I would have to be absolutely solid for that to ever happen

So I found my way to know… would I introduce to kids ?

Now it be easy for me lol … nope nope nope lol … I’m kidding – I will TRY not to be that way 😳

I just can’t make promises – that will be really difficult to get to!!!

No one has ever met them – only my inner circle people ❤️

Remember – I have a village … they lift me up when I am down, they make me laugh if I am sad, they help even when I don’t ask

I have most amazing people ❤️

So I can be protective and protected ❤️

But with that question I might be even harder?? But eventually, if in my life.. that will be a thing

So… I am ok taking time – I want peaceful for rest of my life so we see 🙏🙏

And then the question – how would I tell my kids I seeing someone 😳😮 Omg

I did not think of that.

Ok well – I don’t have to think of it at this moment

But now that I mention – now I think of that 😮😳

So this is difficult 😞

It does not really balance my life at all – it throws it into crazy even more than I have normally 🤨

When it can feel like balance to my life and ?? Fits? Then we see

I dunno – I just can’t go through what I went through ever again… so if attempting to come in my life – I don’t know

I definitely can not go mega fast – if you make it go too fast I will bail… nope 👎 can not handle fast

Also I have a village… so person would have to meet them too … so that’s also a thing …

Can you survive it?

No one ever gets that far to see because they go way too fast!!

So you have to make it TO the village, AND through the village lol ❤️👏🙌✌️

Anyway … ahh …

https://youtu.be/4fndeDfaWCg

So maybe someday

https://youtu.be/S69w0zMW-A0

Yeah see – how you gonna get through that? 🤷‍♀️

6 thoughts on “Titanium

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  1. Oh is this still a thing? I thought you were settled on this as a topic. If you are not then mm, you are still thinking on this … why?

    You know it makes me think on a few things … when Suze and l met, she said she wanted a partner that wasn’t family oriented, and l am not. My family was one that was crazy with a Capital K and there was no humour, we were at that time all terribly distant to each other, scattered like the winds. The end result was that l was not motivated by family. I wasn’t motivated by Suze’s friends either. They were her people, or as you describe her village.

    I am more of a loner, l don’t carry people through the ages, l don’t have strong family connections or emotions and it’s not that l don’t get it with regards others – l do – but until it affects me personally, it doesn’t need to affect me.

    Years later Suze would curse me for not being family oriented, and years after that [now] she doesn’t blame me for not being that way but only because her kids think they know their mother better and the reality is after the cancer, her kids simply don’t get her at all.

    It’s a big ask for a potential partner to want to introduce a potential partner to family and friends because they all have judgements to pass. I still have judgements passed onto me by Suze’s dwindling friends [ l say the latter not because it is to do with me, but because friends fade and family can fade away too] Suze’s friends faded because they didn’t understand how much the cancer changed her outlook and made her very savvy to false people and uncaring family.

    If you are looking at a partner, the first port of call isn’t with friends or family it’s with yourself – it’s how that person makes you feel, because they are not going to ever be good enough for friends or family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well first yes is still a thing.

      And in this area you are not on same page as me…

      My friends would not decide who I fall in love with or don’t – but they mean a lot to me, as I am to them… we are just great friends – they would want to make sure are good person. Not pass a judgement but they would see how interact and how was towards me – they would watch that. But they would also be happy if I was happy

      I don’t mind if someone loner – me too … oh well

      But I also love my family ❤️ occasionally they drive me nuts but I love them

      Mine wasn’t just cancer, I had a lot more than that,
      which effected and for long time.

      Well moneybags made me feel good and have fun?? He gave me roses and is really sweet

      Not how make feel…

      Is how well you know.

      I already know myself …I just still learn life 😘

      How you feel about situation maybe but definitely how well you know?

      Am hopeful and maybe optimistic ish… but also realist so whatever ✌️😘

      Not to mention – I handle my own life so I have peace from any bad stuff

      Important to me to know who someone is.

      Then they can make me feel 💋✌️

      And I make that decision if I feel is best… but I admire, look up to and love my people.

      A person should have nothing to worry about if they get that far lol

      We not scary people lol

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I thought it was already over. Maybe you are still confused? I hope you don’t think too much. It’s not good to stay on a topic for a long time because it isn’t taking you anywhere. Cheer up. 🙏🏽

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, not confused… no not over either… will be something that effects always.

      Am not sad with it, I have happy life

      I am just checking where my head is with it. If I don’t it will throw me off.

      Eventually I would like to give someone a chance – and that guy not bad guy … but still wasn’t right – so I’m just thinking out loud ✌️😉

      Liked by 1 person

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