Family things?

So… I’m just curious about something?

My mother obviously had early onset Alzheimer’s/Dementia … her mother also had.

So that is issue for the mind… I am leading somewhere with this…

Alright… and then I used to do the family genealogy … and when you do that – you sometimes uncover things that back in the day they wanted kept quiet and thought that not speaking of and time would erase? Obviously it does not erase lol – they only thought it did… you do not even know how many stupid secrets I find 🙄

They did not share because was bad light – so they bury and hope no one ever knows … but sometimes that information is important and needed.

Luckily for technology & internet – I can dig up (sorry about the pun lol) everything! lol (my mom and I used to laugh about this because I have one section of my family who always think are holier than thou … but they have all the secrets lol)

We used to see how and why they hide bad things so it was just funny when all these secrets came out … my ancestors probably really mad lol

I brought back family that had been disowned since 1939… and I uncovered important medical information!!! … as well as what could be Hollywood movie drama 🎭

I uncovered a lot… should totally be detective lol ✌️

Anyway… one of those secrets they bury… was about a brother my grandfather had…

When they would tell of someone who passed – they would make up stuff if they don’t want you asking questions…

My grandfather had 2 brothers – he was the middle child… I only knew him and his youngest brother…

They grew up in Boston area … Irish … kinda street kids ?

My grandfather was a little hoodlum lol … punk if you will 😄✌️…

My grandmother was upper class … he married up… she would go to bus stop for school and he would yell to her “hey blondie” lol (obviously she was blonde)

At first she not like it … but then he kinda grew on her …

They were good together ❤️ very in love – they had good life – but sad death. That’s another story 😉

Anyway… his little brother was kinda loose cannon… crazy one … always trying to make fast buck… he had a daughter … I always wanted to meet her, but I never did… he was not around for her. She is just little older than me. I have never met her.

My grandfather treated him like a little brother – I think he was like my sister? Always asking for money? But not really being adult?

They always welcomed him, but he would annoy my grandfather 😄😄

I always knew there was another brother… but I never knew anything about him… I was “told” he was my grandfathers twin and had died at birth.

Well I had no reason to not believe that, so ok… nothing to know then. 🤷‍♀️

Ok whatever and then one day I was up in my parents attic, and there was a box of pictures – so I looked through a couple …

And there was my father as a baby and this man who looked JUST LIKE my grandfather – but was NOT him?? Who is this??

Ok the back was the name James

Ok so I had a name… and then I find the name with my family in the United States census…

We are Irish… and catholic … so when you have 2 children back to back – really close in age – under a year… they are referred to as Irish twins … because we do not believe in birth control other than rhythm method lol ✌️ or at least that was way used to be.

But they call those children “Irish twins” … so … I guess they were Irish twins but not technically twins…

The oldest brother was one year older than my grandfather … I am going to assume they were really close… grew up so close together my family is close… or was.

I show him up into his 20’s and then I couldn’t find him… so ya know… you chat people up for info lol

I was lucky some were still alive … so since they aged if you ask questions they just say if they remember…

I find out little details – like he had moved to New York and was like the family big shot… he worked for some hotel in New York ?

Well that’s where the details get blurry? Because then I was told he committed suicide 😮

I don’t know why? I don’t know what happened? it was different time and era?? I have no idea – but I would like to know the story someday maybe? I am curious, why?

But if that is the case… then that would be another issue in the family with the mind? Right?

I am always warning my children… listen your mom has had breast cancer AND Alzheimer’s/dementia runs in family – so you have 50/50 chance – please be proactive and aware … I just always remind – I worry those be passed to them. (Men also have breasts and can get breast cancer – is not only a woman thing)

Well anyway… I just questioning because – if there is history of suicide and depression – that would be on fathers side … my mothers side is the Alzheimer’s/dementia…

And then… sister?? She is young… and if is using drugs then I’m sure that’s probably killed brain cells?

I dunno – just cause she only hears what she wanna hear… and then plays this victim card? Like she’s this wounded bird everyone should care for.

I was 9 when she was born…

She was maybe 6months old and my mom dropped us off at church daycare while she went grocery shopping. I was 9…

Well me, my brother and my sister were shy quiet kids… we were usually only with family – so we quiet and shy around strangers even children.

While all the other kids went on playground to play … the 3 of us sat on a bench in front of a window that overlooked the playground and we watched all the other kids playing – we were fine just sitting there waiting for my mom – none of us wanted to go outside. So we just sat there.

The church ladies tried several times to see if we would like to play … we kept saying “no thank you, we will stay here” lol

And then my baby sister pooped her pants … so they were going to take her from me and change her… the church lady went to remove her from my arms and she screamed bloody murder omg!! Ear piercing!!!! 😮😮

I asked “do you want me to help? She will let me”

But they say …no thank you, you be a kid lol

But she screaming entire time and they couldn’t even get diaper off… my sister was throwing FULL fit… so I went over and said “let me see, maybe I can calm her”

So they move aside and as soon as it was me, she was fine. So I changed her diaper and we went back to sitting in front of the window watching the kids lol

When my mom came to pick us up … she went to pay them… they told her “we didn’t do anything, your oldest daughter did everything so we not gonna charge you” 😮

After that, I was allowed to be the babysitter 🙌❤️ at home all nice and comfortable lol ✌️

We were close siblings … played together – fought lol … ya know siblings … I was more like a second mother to her when my mom was not around.

I was the cool one… I always had alot of friends even though we moved a lot… I had to learn to be social from very young because of all the moves…

I do not have any fear of socializing – just sometimes I want peace lol ✌️😄

But I always had a lot of friends – and boys started coming around at age 11… so I was this super cool teenager to her… I was cool and also their protector

I did not let ANYONE pick on my brother or sister.

Well… I left home at 18… she was 8… I think that was hard for her. The separation and also my dad got sick.

So all the bad things began when I left ☹️

My mom was too busy being there for my dad – she still try to be there … and was… but you know how life can get if someone is sick

My parents gave her all kinds of money for anything she wanted – she was princess and baby of family – they always feel bad for her because of things … so they try to make up for it… try another way to make her have happy life since my dad was sick

So she began her own life … not smartly – but she refused to listen to anyone… ugh 😑

Well we warned her… but she didn’t listen

I am a believer in being happy… so if I tell you something and you don’t listen – if I feel is something you are strong with, then ok… maybe you see something I don’t? So go ahead make your life decision.

We stood behind her and let her make her choices.

Well they young and they struggle – so my whole family help them..

We paid for their things many times – they had my niece and nephew. My sister and her husband were always just immature kids who struggled and never caught on with life ??

My grandparents gave them their Cadillac… my parents, me and my brother, were always helping them to stand but they never did… there was a point I could not help anymore … I’m sorry – I have my own family and things – time to be adult…

But she didn’t … then my brother got married and she plays on my sister-in-law’s heart… you always wonder if maybe this time 🙏 but no never

A few years before my dad passed they took my sister and kids to Hawaii – my brother and I were like umm hello? 👋 remember us? Lol

But for her they felt she didn’t have anything and struggled so she deserved a vacation.

Ok whatever

She would cry to mom and mom would always slip her money. My dad was more lecture type, and harder… so she would go to mom lol – my mom had big heart especially for her children. ❤️

She could never turn her back from my sister

My sister and her husband were bleeding them dry… so they retired to Arizona

Then my brother also left … and everyone else died

Over the years, we pull many strings and call in many favors to state of Maine or who ever we knew who could help her…

We were so close one time… we had her in a place – she stayed and had a place to live and food and counseling – her asshole husband comes in says crap to her and she leave with him. ☹️💔 we were devastated by that.

In the beginning my father had pulled strings for them and they blew those off also. Never again did my father pull strings for them.

They babied her always … when she born… she was biggest chubbiest baby… wicked cute and blonde … from birth she had this raspy voice… it was so cute on such a little child.

She was baby of family … my mother was a coddler … so all 3 of us as children were wrapped around her leg or really shy. My sister was the worst.

They didn’t move around as much when my sister was going up… she didn’t learn to be social

I am the outgoing one (surfacely at least) … I am the positive and optimistic one…

She is more doom and gloom, definitely not out going – more of shut in, expects everyone to care for her ?

Sweetheart – let me tell you about the world. ✌️

She doesn’t listen ever… if it isn’t what she want or what she want to hear… then she turns off

I have that ability too ✌️ but I only won’t listen if not also listened to. I listen to her… I try to help her. I don’t know what to do, if anything can do?

I try to be soft and coddling like my mother… but she plays on that … and then I have tried to be very hard military style and say look this is how is, this is how be, this is how you handle and this is what you do.

She still does not listen. Ugh 😑

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

I wish was only a difference in language – then I could translate at least!!

She just ??? I do not even know what to say??

If I move her in, here in state of California – I’m stuck with her… she would have legal rights to live in my house – good or bad … so am I ok with that?

It can not be all me, I’m sorry I do love her very much – is my baby sister … but I need her to wake up! She not giving any effort – only to things she wants ☹️💔

So I don’t know. I don’t want to lose everything I work so hard for, and I myself, am not in best health with breasts so… I dunno.

She be alot to take on… I don’t think I can unless she can wake up and realize the world does not revolve around her. We are not here to just provide for her… no… you are grown woman so figure out … she lucky she have so much help and love

Wake the F up

So … I dunno. 🤷‍♀️

I feel these things are important to discuss because it deals with mental stability ? And family you love but can not reach? Also… drugs and things people don’t like to speak of if they have issues with

Suicide hotline: I guess now you just dial 988 – it’s new for just those digits … but if you feel you need to speak to someone – please do… there are people who love you even if you don’t think so! … if you are in the United States – it’s 988

I’m just trying to see the big picture and figure out. I am just trying to survive myself

I’m very thankful for my brother ❤️ I love him

He morphed into my father… even clears his throat the same…

We laughed about that recently – he morphed into dad with all the mannerisms and things … and I morphed into mom lol

I do want my sister back – I just want her ok… I see other sisters and it makes me miss her and wish I had mine 💔☹️

Well anyway – what would you do? Is it possible to help someone like this? … we no longer help with money – I only did something recently because I thought she serious … and I preparing to get her to California.

But we let her figure out … if she wants help we want to be there … but she doesn’t want it – she just want you to take care of her.

I think is her own decisions – I do wonder about mental health because something is not right… is that the drugs or actual mind? She entitled – as if world owes her … sweetie lemme tell you that is not the case!! So take your pretty little self and suck it up

So half of me is sweet tender kind loving…but then I also be all stern because she not listening and I’m trying to help her…

Is very difficult and exhausting… so yeah. Anyway how would you look at this? What would you do?

* here is one of my secrets lol … I am not supposed to have stress since I have cancer – they tell me no stress … HA! When I am my own customer then I not have stress 😉✌️ … I am not supposed to have the amount of stress from work, or other things – I am supposed to focus on no stress lol … I do not

How I supposed to do that??? While I am alive? lol … that is like impossible … no stress ha! That is easy to say. Much harder to do.

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