Tuesday?

Today was good day ish. I feel quiet today.

I had a good day though. Actually a really nice day!

Was just like old times for a moment – was wonderful we got work done and enjoyed the day with each other. I like her – my co worker! Was pretty awesome – she is soooo funny!! Was just us 🙌 and there was peace ☮️ ❤️

Ahhhhh 😌

We had no services and was just good day – once things worked – we could work – having issues sometimes with many things!!! 😑

Also from everything else – I am extremely silent – just am. From all of it.

Cause I just have time to think sorta … so country boy … he just does not want expectations so basically don’t depend on him for anything

So the only thing that saves him from me leaving his life completely … is the kindness and compassion he had with me…

He always wants to stay in my life for some reason?? For what? I never ever see and when I do we have fun laughing and talking… but we are not same, at all with anything? Well we do have few things in common. Just a few and only by way that he can relate and so can I. He is Trumper and I am not … so ??? Why??

If you don’t wanna care, why you care? So ya know – that’s confusing??

I always want to push away and he never wants me to so why??

And then – ya know … the other one… I am not sure? I am feeling highly untrusting – I don’t know because I am sorta prejudging ?

He has one strike for initial impression…

The problem is I am ultra sensitive to umm ?? I dunno? Vibes ? So I’m gonna be watching who he is and his words, how he speaks and treats people and everything 😮

So I will probably come back and be like “nope” lol

We see

I feel really tired and beat today. Im just so exhausted and it’s only Tuesday!! 😮😮 and it’s not only 8 something!! But I get up so early!! And then work so late. I have long drive!! Every day it gets longer and longer

So anyway. I got to look in old records today – I think they should be in a museum – omg they are breathtakingly beautiful!!!

Depends on how far you go back… I have records from turn of century 1900!! 😮😮 those are handwritten

Then in later years they all meticulously typed by a type writer … now everything is just scanned and uploaded – all paperwork. No more of those beautiful ledgers

You could see cause of death, where buried etc – all info … even the cost!! 😮

And on the back usually handwritten – all the service instructions and things the family wanted

I tell you they take your breath away … and they so old!! Should be in a museum!!! Totally!!

They just beautiful and also fascinating – and to look at them 😮😮😮

The pages are all old, some books are thick – some are not.

*** I wrote this last night … but I was evidently soooo tired … I remember writing and putting phone down for one second to stretch and I closed my eyes for one moment – totally thought to self – don’t fall asleep and here we are … I even forgot to set alarm 😮 luckily I have internal alarm!! Oh thank god! Lol sometimes that is good thing!

Anyway – I am still tired – but time for work!