Developments

Ok… so… guess who came over to see my house yesterday! 😮 yup … country boy.

He came over, I quickly show him around and then we went out to dinner and talked.

He said some things that struck me??

So you know how I always complain about being hit on? Because it’s like constant? Ok well …

Is same for him. He’s really hot, and in shape… he plays baseball ⚾️ among other things … women throw themselves at him…I know this

I keep distance let him do his thing. Whatever we are not together. You be you.

But he doesn’t like it … just like me!! 😮 …because there is always a motive … sex or money whatever who knows? But people have motives a lot! It’s never just chill – but he’s different with that – he is chill without motive so far. And at the very least he’s really patient with me lol ❤️

I don’t have any motive with him either… whatever … don’t care about his money or what he has or doesn’t have – I make my own money and have my own things. I never going to be at someone’s mercy again.

I think I am little more comfortable now since this convo that he is not with motive either… so ok… he’s not totally aiming to get in my pants – alright – I can handle that lol – at the moment

I know that women throw themselves at him… I just didn’t know it bothered him same way bothers me?? Huh? 🤔 … but then again I am the one who does not do that – he knows how I feel but I also have a silence and distance thing lol … I will go silent and distance – I just be quiet 🤫 am either in thought or in protection/coping mode lol ✌️

I still question things little … he says things but then it doesn’t process correctly for me lol …

Like for example – he say he eventually wanna leave California – (he is a Trumper – that’s a whole other subject lol omg) – California is very very VERY liberal and they soft on crime and blah blah blah… yes extremely liberal.

So he wants to move to THE MOST republican state in the United States lol … ok I definitely do not want that lol … Wyoming or something? I dunno – is somewhere cold and desolate area

I don’t want either side – they both suck! Republicans and liberals!! Omg – is there a neutral state?? Preferably not cold lol

I just don’t wanna deal with any of that political stuff – I’m tired of it … I do not fall on either side… I am independent… I decide who I believe to be best… not based on party – cause I could give 2 shits about these stupid political parties – they are idiots … and I say that very seriously!! I’m tired of both of their shit!!! Ugh!!!

But he’s republican lol and a Trumper omg … so that’s fun lol

But whatever … he tells me about these plans he has to move out of state…

But he’s been saying that forever – cause he can’t take the California liberals

So he talks about plans for that… and his kids and parents moving with him too…

I dunno if he just say or not? But then he say he doesn’t make plans lol – he lives in the moment because moments can change in an instant.

Before I met him – many years before I met him… he was in a really bad car accident that almost took his life so… he does have an understanding and appreciation of life. That draws me to him little bit too… because he has that understanding … he knows how precious life is ❤️

But he talks about plans and leaving California … but then says he lives in moment and doesn’t make plans – eh… that does not make sense lol … you make plans to leave – that is plan – that is not the moment lol

He claims he is not a planner lol whatever

I am definitely a planner. I definitely like to plan things lol ✌️ I make plans and hope they go as planned …but if they don’t is fine too … I just like a plan to feel better equip to handle. But I generally take a “whatever” approach …and just go with how life directs, I TRY to plan… but life does funny things so “whatever”

And some thing I do like about him …is that he is careful with me. I like that. That’s how I know he has a brain lol ✌️❤️

He’s just kind and never tries to push anything on me.. he also has allowed me to become myself after everything while still being there in the background – he stands back and let’s me find my way ❤️ doesn’t muddle it up lol

Has let me just come into my own self ❤️ I needed that!

He is guarded because he doesn’t want “expectations” lol – which I get …

And I don’t have any “per sé” lol … but given my past I have a very hard line… I feel that if you want to be in my life than be there … if you don’t oh well… I also very strongly feel I don’t have to have expectations… you either want to or you don’t – don’t do me any favors

Lol so ya know … I have a slight hard edge. 😘 you either enjoy life with me or you don’t. I don’t play games and I like my life peaceful. I build what I want.

But that one thing I do want… I don’t want to say because it will make me cry and I don’t feel like crying. 🤫

He made some comments last night that caught my attention so let me finish this later.

Is not bad what he say, was good- just caught my attention… just the subject is bringing tears to my eyes so I don’t wanna talk anymore

I will finish later – chokes me up too much – will make me cry ✌️😘 later I do that lol – not now

To be continued later …