Like a love song

So… it’s been just gray and rainy forever now… I feel like a flower wilting from being water logged with no sun lol … I soooo need sun!!–Kjn0z8

Yeah … this rain and gray is killing me!! Omg – if I hear them say this summer “oh we don’t have any water” I’m gonna be so mad lol

It’s been raining for I don’t even know how long… forever?! And it’s cold – freezing cold rain

If I wasn’t in California – I would rather have snow… but since I am in California and they can’t drive in bad weather …then no the rain is fine!!

Lake Tahoe got crushed with snow!! I heard a ski resort in the sierras had to close because of TOO MUCH snow lol … they were buried 😮

Yeah I have memories of Maine and Massachusetts … brrr! 🥶

I always think of THIS commercial:

Half of Lake Tahoe is in California and half is in Nevada ❤️

There is a place in Arizona that you can step in 4 states at once – that is soooo awesome – I love that!! Arizona, New Mexico, Utah and Colorado!! ❤️ I love to step in all 4 and be in 4 places at once ❤️ because I’m dorky like that lol ✌️

So yeah the rain and dreary cold wet weather is killing me!! Please stop that… bring back the sun… I don’t mind summer rain – but we never get that… winter rain is the worst!! Ugh gross and yucky and cold!!

Summer rain I would puddle jump and love to be wet ❤️

Sun showers are my favorite ❤️❤️ yes please – I will have that!!

You take this winter rain 😝😝😝 yuck! Hate it!

It just gloomy and everyone is grouchy, and pissy!

So … whatever … sun please – I need that!! Oh please can it be spring?! 🙏🙏🙏 I need spring!! Over winter – all set – next

I like it hot!!

So that’s kinda killing my spirit little bit. Bleh

Whatever – it’s winter. 😝 not my season ✌️

Bears have the life getting to hibernate through winter – my dream winter lol 🙌 ⛄️

Anyway… everything is fine… but I dunno if it’s the gray cloudy raininess that is bleh?? Or if is me? Because I have that same feeling like you lose your best friend – but I haven’t … everything is fine… but just a lot of changes. A lot of things happening… and stress and stuff

See … there is no way I could handle my private life all crazy – when everything else is… so I keep that part REALLY peaceful ❤️

Ok so… house going well… I should get to move in soon… I did this myself. So that’s always quite an impact after what went through

My lawyer called me today and said my ex’s bank accounts were frozen – to bad for him – he hasn’t been paying correctly … no shit

I do by myself ☹️💔 so whatever – no one helps… so I do myself. But I have to call tmrw so I don’t feel good about that… it makes me feel sick 😝

I don’t like to deal with Satan. It brings up a lot of things and makes me panic still so – I just don’t like that.

I just don’t wanna deal with him … it makes me feel sick- I don’t care anything about him – may he burn in hell.

Anyway… so I have to deal with that.

I hate having to deal with Satan – get out of my life!!

Probably my favorite song for him right there!!

So whatever of course 2021 has to finish with that!

And then… the other job called me today … I spoke to them… they want me to come in for interview next week.

That makes me feel sad too… because I love my people so much – I got attached … and I know without me they will struggle so that hurts too because I love to support them ❤️

I don’t want to leave them.

But this other job is in my town… so no commute … and is more money… so what do I do? 😮 💔

Just the thought to lose my people kinda hurts 💔 I have loved them very much ❤️ all of them ❤️ all the adventures and craziness

I love them – how do I leave them?

So I kinda feel sad to look at another job – I have really loved working with and being with them – that is so hard to find ❤️

So feel little heart broken with that – we went through hell together … these people have been amazing to me – I love them very much 🤫❤️

They actually know because I tell them all the time ❤️ but maybe is time? We see

I will cry if I leave… I am sensitive so I will cry. Because I love them ❤️ it was them who help me stand … so it would be very hard to leave them ❤️ I tear up at the thought – they mean a lot to me!!!

Without them – I would not be where I am.. so that is kinda big

And then today I sat there and I want to share my life with them – but I was silent … I want to share my moments and my excitement … but then I also don’t want to leave them.

Sometimes life wants you to grow? I guess? Nothing is forever … I can’t stay with them forever ☹️💔 I wish

And then ya know… you can’t live for others – 💔 so ya know that’s a little hard!!

We have built the most amazing team – they all have their quirks – but I love them quirks and all so it just hard … I don’t like to lose people I love.

Yeah you are not supposed to love the people you work with – but I fell in love with them so it hurts little to think of leaving them.

So we see … I will meet new job and see

Because even though I love everyone I work with… it’s hard because job is emotional so they get tangled in. And they helped me stand ❤️ so I am forever theirs ❤️ they mean the world to me!

But the work/life balance is awful… and I know how to be workaholic … but I do not know how to have a life 😮 because I am so submerged in death 😮😮

So maybe I need to live a little bit? Have time? Have life? We see

If I could keep them forever – I would – in a heartbeat – because I love them ❤️ they are my people ❤️ and I will still keep them – but the thought of leaving them makes me cry 😮 how I be a person without them? They have been my everything for 2 years ❤️ and their grace and support and love and caring have been everything to me – I stood up because of them!! Was them who help me stand ❤️

Is a field of work that you become really close. So the thought to leave is hard. 💔 they are my people – they have my heart 😮

The other job called and asked me questions and then said they wanna meet me – so ok … I will see

How deep is death’s grip?

How do I let them go when they have been such a huge part of me and my life? 😮😮😮 I love them

I would not be where I am – without their support, kindness and strength

Death made an impact 😮

So I dunno? I don’t know how to do – we gonna find out 😮😮😮

Life lessons 😮😮

I’m way too old for this lol 😘✌️ …life should have taught me sooner 😘 or maybe I didn’t listen? 😮 lol ✌️💋

Isn’t that always people’s problem? No one listens

No wonder life is pissed and gave us Covid lol 😉😘✌️

Stay safe but remember life 😘✌️

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