Like a love song

So… it’s been just gray and rainy forever now… I feel like a flower wilting from being water logged with no sun lol … I soooo need sun!!

https://youtu.be/LQj–Kjn0z8

Yeah … this rain and gray is killing me!! Omg – if I hear them say this summer “oh we don’t have any water” I’m gonna be so mad lol

It’s been raining for I don’t even know how long… forever?! And it’s cold – freezing cold rain

If I wasn’t in California – I would rather have snow… but since I am in California and they can’t drive in bad weather …then no the rain is fine!!

Lake Tahoe got crushed with snow!! I heard a ski resort in the sierras had to close because of TOO MUCH snow lol … they were buried 😮

https://youtu.be/aioP8T6ISC0

Yeah I have memories of Maine and Massachusetts … brrr! 🥶

I always think of THIS commercial:

https://youtu.be/WB-bcDBXvDA

Half of Lake Tahoe is in California and half is in Nevada ❤️

There is a place in Arizona that you can step in 4 states at once – that is soooo awesome – I love that!! Arizona, New Mexico, Utah and Colorado!! ❤️ I love to step in all 4 and be in 4 places at once ❤️ because I’m dorky like that lol ✌️

So yeah the rain and dreary cold wet weather is killing me!! Please stop that… bring back the sun… I don’t mind summer rain – but we never get that… winter rain is the worst!! Ugh gross and yucky and cold!!

Summer rain I would puddle jump and love to be wet ❤️

https://youtu.be/-Irf7lQ0MhQ

Sun showers are my favorite ❤️❤️ yes please – I will have that!!

You take this winter rain 😝😝😝 yuck! Hate it!

It just gloomy and everyone is grouchy, and pissy!

So … whatever … sun please – I need that!! Oh please can it be spring?! 🙏🙏🙏 I need spring!! Over winter – all set – next

I like it hot!!

https://youtu.be/imaISU426JE

So that’s kinda killing my spirit little bit. Bleh

Whatever – it’s winter. 😝 not my season ✌️

Bears have the life getting to hibernate through winter – my dream winter lol 🙌 ⛄️

Anyway… everything is fine… but I dunno if it’s the gray cloudy raininess that is bleh?? Or if is me? Because I have that same feeling like you lose your best friend – but I haven’t … everything is fine… but just a lot of changes. A lot of things happening… and stress and stuff

See … there is no way I could handle my private life all crazy – when everything else is… so I keep that part REALLY peaceful ❤️

Ok so… house going well… I should get to move in soon… I did this myself. So that’s always quite an impact after what went through

My lawyer called me today and said my ex’s bank accounts were frozen – to bad for him – he hasn’t been paying correctly … no shit

I do by myself ☹️💔 so whatever – no one helps… so I do myself. But I have to call tmrw so I don’t feel good about that… it makes me feel sick 😝

I don’t like to deal with Satan. It brings up a lot of things and makes me panic still so – I just don’t like that.

https://youtu.be/Ra-Om7UMSJc

https://youtu.be/R7UrFYvl5TE

I just don’t wanna deal with him … it makes me feel sick- I don’t care anything about him – may he burn in hell.

Anyway… so I have to deal with that.

https://youtu.be/8SeRU_ZPDkE

I hate having to deal with Satan – get out of my life!!

https://youtu.be/xo1VInw-SKc

https://youtu.be/fHC05_9b0gw

Probably my favorite song for him right there!!

So whatever of course 2021 has to finish with that!

And then… the other job called me today … I spoke to them… they want me to come in for interview next week.

That makes me feel sad too… because I love my people so much – I got attached … and I know without me they will struggle so that hurts too because I love to support them ❤️

I don’t want to leave them.

But this other job is in my town… so no commute … and is more money… so what do I do? 😮 💔

Just the thought to lose my people kinda hurts 💔 I have loved them very much ❤️ all of them ❤️ all the adventures and craziness

https://youtu.be/Q4VK9_CfOLQ

I love them – how do I leave them?

https://youtu.be/MUFasKZcH_c

So I kinda feel sad to look at another job – I have really loved working with and being with them – that is so hard to find ❤️

So feel little heart broken with that – we went through hell together … these people have been amazing to me – I love them very much 🤫❤️

They actually know because I tell them all the time ❤️ but maybe is time? We see

I will cry if I leave… I am sensitive so I will cry. Because I love them ❤️ it was them who help me stand … so it would be very hard to leave them ❤️ I tear up at the thought – they mean a lot to me!!!

Without them – I would not be where I am.. so that is kinda big

And then today I sat there and I want to share my life with them – but I was silent … I want to share my moments and my excitement … but then I also don’t want to leave them.

Sometimes life wants you to grow? I guess? Nothing is forever … I can’t stay with them forever ☹️💔 I wish

And then ya know… you can’t live for others – 💔 so ya know that’s a little hard!!

We have built the most amazing team – they all have their quirks – but I love them quirks and all so it just hard … I don’t like to lose people I love.

Yeah you are not supposed to love the people you work with – but I fell in love with them so it hurts little to think of leaving them.

So we see … I will meet new job and see

Because even though I love everyone I work with… it’s hard because job is emotional so they get tangled in. And they helped me stand ❤️ so I am forever theirs ❤️ they mean the world to me!

But the work/life balance is awful… and I know how to be workaholic … but I do not know how to have a life 😮 because I am so submerged in death 😮😮

So maybe I need to live a little bit? Have time? Have life? We see

https://youtu.be/bxV-OOIamyk

If I could keep them forever – I would – in a heartbeat – because I love them ❤️ they are my people ❤️ and I will still keep them – but the thought of leaving them makes me cry 😮 how I be a person without them? They have been my everything for 2 years ❤️ and their grace and support and love and caring have been everything to me – I stood up because of them!! Was them who help me stand ❤️

https://youtu.be/RgKAFK5djSk

Is a field of work that you become really close. So the thought to leave is hard. 💔 they are my people – they have my heart 😮

The other job called and asked me questions and then said they wanna meet me – so ok … I will see

How deep is death’s grip?

https://youtu.be/EgT_us6AsDg

How do I let them go when they have been such a huge part of me and my life? 😮😮😮 I love them

I would not be where I am – without their support, kindness and strength

Death made an impact 😮

So I dunno? I don’t know how to do – we gonna find out 😮😮😮

Life lessons 😮😮

I’m way too old for this lol 😘✌️ …life should have taught me sooner 😘 or maybe I didn’t listen? 😮 lol ✌️💋

Isn’t that always people’s problem? No one listens

No wonder life is pissed and gave us Covid lol 😉😘✌️

Stay safe but remember life 😘✌️

https://youtu.be/EkMayomwSJM

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