Ok so… we had amazing party last night 🎈🎈 we ate his favorite dinner and we played a game I got for him
20 years ago – I give him life lol 🙌 created a human ❤️❤️❤️
He was about 5 there ❤️ that was right before the stage where he wanted to constantly be a ninja 🥷 lol
They all say they wanna live in house next to me when they grew up, and that I could always hold their hand and walk them to school – and then they grew up lol
He was my largest, they miscalculated him – he was 9lbs 13oz … I am small … so was like alien – all baby. They had to induce or he would still be in there!!
He is tall and skinny now lol …he got my skinny genes 🧬 … both boys are taller than me.
Anyway, we just celebrate being together and his birthday ❤️❤️ we had fun laughing and playing
And other things going on – I did not get condo… the HOA would not accept the loan I have FHA.
But that just means wasn’t meant to be… was excited but not sure was for me?? I don’t like being sooo close to people like that? So maybe normal house instead.
So that is bad but not really – I only want what is meant to be and works… so whatever … something better fitting come along eventually
I’m going to be there for while
I want to love everything 😉😘✌️❤️🙌
The good news is I have a new hire – almost … just needs to meet with MY boss … would be a transfer 🙌 so will be fast … another new hire starts on 28th – I am finding them 🙌
My team will be BRILLIANT ❤️🙌
I find amazing people 🙌 yay!!!
And then brings me to this man… 😮
So … I think it scares me because I have always done alone?
Growing up I was new all the time “alone” …so I had to make friends really quick.
In marriage was isolated so was alone, except for kids.
And I just keep to self so I have experienced not answering to anyone and not being at anyones mercy …
I actually don’t think about it… I just work
I keep distance – with work I have directive and people to care for… and also do not get hurt… also creating spectacular team currently 🙌 I have little family
Today on group text they say this:
See why I love them ❤️ they are all amazing people (most)
So I don’t really think about dating or anything… until someone tries to come close.
Ok so what are my concerns …
Well his age… let’s start there …
I’m sooo much older… he is right in between me and my kids… he’s just at that boarder line where I say no lol
I do not really think of age when with him …
He’s interesting and makes me laugh – there is no drama. I don’t even realize he is young ..but then he is lol
His morals are really awesome and he’s so respectful of everything. He does not demand my time 🙌
Although he is making plans ?? 🤷♀️
For when does see again…
So see … he’s the type to really love you 😮 omg
How did this happen??
Also he’s very gentlemanly and proper …
And he makes me feel like this with way he speaks to me…
We have not kissed or anything – nothing. Which is good… I am cautious. I am not ready for that stuff – I need time.
There was that picture thing when I said let’s take pictures lol … I meant of nature… but we took some of us too lol … it didn’t even dawn on me he would want a photo of us lol
I don’t normally give time.
But then his humanity, maturity and kindness gets me, and his personality is similar
He’s so respectful of my work and time… and who I am etc
He is also funny in just right way lol … knows exactly when to make me laugh 😮
I give him time because of the level of his humanity and kindness 😮
So we see – I need slow though.
Once you over that hurdle then it’s on lol … but is big hurdle lol
I just don’t know him enough, to know if I am totally ok. 🤷♀️
And that is only the first thing!!!!
That’s just the initial “am I ok with this?” lol …
I am not sure I am ready for someone to come close yet.
Because let’s think about that for a second…
He will want to know where I live… I’m probably gonna be weird with that
I’m definitely not ready for that!!
He will come close… so that too.
So not sure what I am ready for… but I will see who he is.
I don’t want to hurt him and I do not want to be hurt and also I hope he has patience. I do not just let people enter my inner world – nope 👎 … am extremely careful who comes in close
I’m severely private
So hope he is patient
So far it’s ok… but I’m just saying ✌️😘
I haven’t seen him since the winery – just texting. He thinking of what to do next time I see him lol … he is planning he said lol 😮
He texts me good morning and good night 💤 says thoughtful things … fine so we see
One ☝️ chance – we see
I just need to also see where I am with this, because I do not know that yet. 😳
I really did not see this coming at all
I never do.