I don’t even know?

So pulling my card went well – I will know by Monday -Just how well 🙏🙏🙏 please dear lord because if my card doesn’t work then I have no incentive to really work at all ✌️ and then I will be done with death. They have screwy thing…

So when I was a part timer – I worked a lot and I also took classes… I would do assigned classes and sign up for my own – this is one class I had signed up for on my own

The first time I went to take it – it used a program we do not normally use so it would not let me log on – well wtf?!

So I asked to have this removed before December and they say we will excuse it … but get it done – and then they ADDED THE SAME COURSE AGAIN!!! So it is double listed!!! I’m supposed to take the same 2 hour course fuckin TWICE!! I have not even done once yet- I don’t have time and is not imperative! Is a stupid thing I signed up for as a part timer MYSELF – it was not appointed – I have done all appointed classes!!! ALL are completed!!!

On well mother fuckin covid hit… what the fuck you want me to do?! And then we helped with cases from the funeral home who GOT covid!! Can you say “buried”??? cause that’s how it was!!! Completely!! Read my prior posts – I am learning!!

And I teach myself… I have no one training me… I call around and sometimes people help me through the phone… but I am on my own mostly!

There is no way I can spend 2 hours on a course I signed up for as a part timer – I do not have that kind of time!! And actually they have me doing same course twice!! It is mother fuckin covid!!! Fucking cop a clue!!!

If I do not complete it by Monday – I get no raises all year

So what is my incentive to work then! Cause fuck you.

Do you want an office manager and hard worker or you wanna fuck yourself ? Cause I will walk – I don’t need this shit – so you either remove it … or I’m out. ✌️

I’m not gonna give my everything for nothing- fuck that!!!!

Been there done that shit – NOT doing it again – within a person or a job …

So if that causes issues – I be on my way out ✌️😘

Choose wisely 💋✌️

So there is that 😘✌️

So let’s see. Should I stay or should I go? I will know by Monday 😘


So yeah – I have one danger area – never ever go into that area lol

If I feel being taken advantage of or see someone else in that position – or if I see someone who needs – then yes – I fight.

Ok so remember yesterday and I said I would find more information out to help someone from the United States …

Ok well I am still digging for info… I am in the funeral business so… covid…

Ok so let me lay it down as best I can…

Answer these questions…

1.) Have you lost someone to covid?

2.) Do you have a death certificate for your loved one that lists covid as a cause of death? Was your loved one Covid positive?

3.) Do you owe money for funeral expenses that are no greater than $7000 ?

4.) Do you believe you need funeral assistance for a covid positive case? Are you unable to pay in this emergency?

Ok so if you answers were yes… let me keep working and making sure I can direct you what to do. You might “MIGHT” be eligible for relief ?? But let me see and make sure 100% – and then I will tell you what you can do.

I’ve been talking to FEMA today about that.

I have a family in need – so I want to help them. I am so broken-hearted for them!!

Oh this family – I just want to make sure they are ok. I am worried. So I am trying to see what options I can give them.

I just feel for them. Yeah whatever – I know – bleeding heart – I am aware ✌️

But I am worried about them. So they break my heart and I just want to make sure they are ok and we can help them. Is ok… we will help you – don’t be afraid of us. I know the loss is hard and money is an issue – we will do anything we can to help a family in need.

I am pushing for things for them – I worry very much for them

When you call – they crying or groggy… your heart breaks – and they are lost – they just suffered a MASSIVE loss – it was massive … all I can tell you is – it was a earth shattering loss!! Your heart would bleed too!!!

So… I just need to help them. Because I want them to have peace and not panic with it… take my hand – let me help you ❤️ I won’t hurt you – I will be easy and we can go slow, you can call the shots… just let me help you walk through it

It’s ok we will work with you. You be upfront – we be upfront. Let us help you – we are NOT out to bleed you dry.. I will do whatever I can to help if I can find ways 😘✌️ some actually do care.

So anyway – they make my heart bleed 🩸 I worry about them- I want them to be ok. I worry very much on this one. There is massive devastation!! I can feel them very deeply!! Whoa! 😮💔🩸

So let me see what I can dig up 😘✌️ 🙏🙏🙏

The only problem is – they are afraid we going to want a lot of money- let me try to see what I can find out ok? Just work with me … it’s ok – we aren’t going to harass you – just talk to me.

If I can get them to give me a chance and trust me and relax… I will see whatever I can do!! Or any options I can give to them.

It can’t hurt to at least try and ya know- people do care – I also know this… but it is hard to let down your guard…

My arranger is not reaching the family at all… so I am taking over a little … I am checking my resources – and tomorrow I will be the one to try to reach out to the family… I am easier and softer sometimes – because I am also heart ridden especially with this pain… so …

I just want to help them… is ok. You can trust sometimes. Keep guarded – and be observant… but also some people just want to help… and I am in a position that I might be able to… so just let me!!! Give it up and just trust me, if you don’t what are your other options ?? So come leap with me.

So anyway… I hope they let me try to help – we will go slow if they need – however they want

I am not out to bury them in bills or freak them out after such a huge loss… please work with me – let me help you!!

This family has nothing!! And this death to them- is everything!! It just devastated them – absolutely and completely!!

So… yes… I am feeling them HARD!! So let me help you!!

We can take it step by step. I will hold your hand and walk you through it, if we need to.

You don’t have to be afraid of me – unless you are a corporation – lol – then you might wanna shake a little 😄😘✌️

Or if you take advantage of others – same thing ✌️

But I really hope I can reach them because mentally I am worried for them. They are taking it very hard

So yes please just let me hold your hand


I can help them – but they have to let me. 🙏💔

2 thoughts on “I don’t even know?

Add yours

  1. I hope they accept your help.

    Good luck with the job and annual raise! I don’t worry about raises because they’re usually too small to matter… 1.5% is considered “exceptional” even when the cost of living increases 2 or 3 times that amount.

    Liked by 1 person

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