This afternoon – I just relaxed ❤️ I did not have to be anywhere or do anything …
I knew the house I am house sitting for has this incredible tub. So I had brought some bath bombs with me incase I had time… today I had time ❤️
I haven’t taken a bath like that in a long time… I had my bath bomb and candles ❤️ I had time ❤️ I got to soak ❤️
I don’t usually have the time, and my tub is just kinda small… this one is nice and big.
I haven’t taken a bath like that in a very long time… definitely before cancer happened – I totally forgot how amazing that is!!
And do you know what a bath bomb is? Omg … I like the ones from Lush ❤️
They are balls that when you put them in the water they fizz and the scent is just amazing … it colors the water and relaxes you completely ❤️ and you smell incredible afterwards
It’s like the best!!! ❤️ kinda melts away the world? Was just really nice to soak like that – very peaceful and soothing ❤️
Then I got to laugh and talk to my mom ❤️ I miss her – I love hearing her voice. I love her laugh – she is very funny lol
We spend hours talking and we usually speak about funny memories ❤️ and we just laugh and laugh. I love that she can still remember me and still remember memories ❤️
I tease her for her 70’s bell bottoms – although some of the outfits she put me in are also very 70’s 😝😝😝 omg – I do not post those cause they make me cringe lol … maybe I will share one day.
Anyway is always amazing chatting with her … we just laugh about all the amazing memories – they took me everywhere ❤️ she is very funny!! She’s such a delight always … even growing up she was ❤️ I am very lucky she is my mom ❤️
It’s nice to talk back into memories ❤️ we have so many!! And they are always so funny ❤️
Anyway was a nice break from the normal crazy my life is lately… I want that more… the nice break – not the crazy lol 😄✌️ I don’t want the crazy!!
So that was an awesome and relaxing afternoon – very chill peaceful and easy. ❤️ … and I got to have my mom for some moments ❤️
Ahhh dreams ❤️
I laugh with my mom and I love the moments I still have to speak to her… she makes me laugh so much!! But then at the same time afterwards it makes me cry because it just does??? I laugh talking to her and smile at the photos with her but I’m still coming to terms with having to lose her … I have kind of lost her somewhat… but I still get pieces … which I am very thankful for…
I know I have had the best mom ever and she gave me an incredible life … and that’s how life goes… her time will come… I am going to have a hard time with that. I try not to.
And I’m realistic… I know there is nothing I can do. I know it is how it has to be… and I have nothing but amazing memories … I work with death and I know how it goes – I know I am going to lose her. I know that that is life… I have time to accept … so why do I still cry?
Why is it still hard? I know it has to be, all I can actually do is enjoy whatever moments I have her for. But it’s just still going to be hard no matter how much I prepare or think I can handle. That’s my mom. She is kinda my heart. So that will still hurt. I thought I was ready and prepared for that cause I am strong with it for the most part – I have to be. I do not have a choice … I guess none of us do
I just love her so much… so I just don’t want to lose her. It’s kinda really hard.
On one hand – I feel her deeply in my heart… intensely – that’s my mom – she gave me life and love… and then on the other hand is my realistic side that understands death knows it, been through enough of it… understand what’s happening. Know that is how life goes – is just how it is. You can not change it. Suck it up and accept is how is going to be.
So those 2 sides do not want to come together!!!! One is the heart, the other is the head. just drives me nuts 😘 I don’t want that pain from the heart but I guess it’s inevitable. Bleh – she will be hard to lose.
I work tmrw and then I be with the kids… so I be back at some point ✌️😘