Dreams

This afternoon – I just relaxed ❤️ I did not have to be anywhere or do anything …

I knew the house I am house sitting for has this incredible tub. So I had brought some bath bombs with me incase I had time… today I had time ❤️

I haven’t taken a bath like that in a long time… I had my bath bomb and candles ❤️ I had time ❤️ I got to soak ❤️

I don’t usually have the time, and my tub is just kinda small… this one is nice and big.

I haven’t taken a bath like that in a very long time… definitely before cancer happened – I totally forgot how amazing that is!!

And do you know what a bath bomb is? Omg … I like the ones from Lush ❤️

They are balls that when you put them in the water they fizz and the scent is just amazing … it colors the water and relaxes you completely ❤️ and you smell incredible afterwards

It’s like the best!!! ❤️ kinda melts away the world? Was just really nice to soak like that – very peaceful and soothing ❤️

Then I got to laugh and talk to my mom ❤️ I miss her – I love hearing her voice. I love her laugh – she is very funny lol

We spend hours talking and we usually speak about funny memories ❤️ and we just laugh and laugh. I love that she can still remember me and still remember memories ❤️

I tease her for her 70’s bell bottoms – although some of the outfits she put me in are also very 70’s 😝😝😝 omg – I do not post those cause they make me cringe lol … maybe I will share one day.

Anyway is always amazing chatting with her … we just laugh about all the amazing memories – they took me everywhere ❤️ she is very funny!! She’s such a delight always … even growing up she was ❤️ I am very lucky she is my mom ❤️

It’s nice to talk back into memories ❤️ we have so many!! And they are always so funny ❤️

www.youtube.com/watch

Anyway was a nice break from the normal crazy my life is lately… I want that more… the nice break – not the crazy lol 😄✌️ I don’t want the crazy!!

So that was an awesome and relaxing afternoon – very chill peaceful and easy. ❤️ … and I got to have my mom for some moments ❤️

Ahhh dreams ❤️

www.youtube.com/watch

I laugh with my mom and I love the moments I still have to speak to her… she makes me laugh so much!! But then at the same time afterwards it makes me cry because it just does??? I laugh talking to her and smile at the photos with her but I’m still coming to terms with having to lose her … I have kind of lost her somewhat… but I still get pieces … which I am very thankful for…

I know I have had the best mom ever and she gave me an incredible life … and that’s how life goes… her time will come… I am going to have a hard time with that. I try not to.

And I’m realistic… I know there is nothing I can do. I know it is how it has to be… and I have nothing but amazing memories … I work with death and I know how it goes – I know I am going to lose her. I know that that is life… I have time to accept … so why do I still cry?

Why is it still hard? I know it has to be, all I can actually do is enjoy whatever moments I have her for. But it’s just still going to be hard no matter how much I prepare or think I can handle. That’s my mom. She is kinda my heart. So that will still hurt. I thought I was ready and prepared for that cause I am strong with it for the most part – I have to be. I do not have a choice … I guess none of us do

I just love her so much… so I just don’t want to lose her. It’s kinda really hard.

On one hand – I feel her deeply in my heart… intensely – that’s my mom – she gave me life and love… and then on the other hand is my realistic side that understands death knows it, been through enough of it… understand what’s happening. Know that is how life goes – is just how it is. You can not change it. Suck it up and accept is how is going to be.

So those 2 sides do not want to come together!!!! One is the heart, the other is the head. just drives me nuts 😘 I don’t want that pain from the heart but I guess it’s inevitable. Bleh – she will be hard to lose.

I work tmrw and then I be with the kids… so I be back at some point ✌️😘

Gnite ❤️

23 thoughts on “Dreams

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    1. Oh yes!! I have to do something like that more often – I will have to see how to schedule in relaxing like that 🙏

      Not that it should be scheduled 😝… but I have to remember those things!

      Self care ✌️❤️ 😊

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah my mom is my heart ❤️ she has always been an incredible mother!!! Very loving and happy … she had always been supportive and funny and loving – yeah she is amazing! Is hard losing her ☹️ … but I know I have to. It’s just hard because I love her so much. I want to keep her lol – but I also know I can’t – very hard.

      I know I definitely need to remember self care more!! 😊🥰❤️ that was really nice to relax for a little while like that. I needed that!

      Thank you Ashok ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh yes… my mother is the same… all love – complete love ❤️ that is why she is so much part of my heart!!

        I will miss her so much to lose her. She has shown me the most incredible love always ❤️

        I have brilliant and amazing memories of her… I am lucky to have many memories and pictures ❤️

        She is one of the softest and most loving woman I have ever known to be. ❤️

        I also only remember my mother’s love ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  1. While reading your thoughts I was on down to my memory lane. Sometime we don’t want to let our beloved go, we rethink about the past memories with love and then we get emotional. I think it is okay. Sometime you need to listen to your heart also. I know our brain says be practical l, not to cry or it is a death it happens, it is reality blah blah but still sometime the words from brain is not make us ultimate satisfied then we need to listen to heart. It is okay I guess to get emotional and remmebering old thoughts with beloved one. I know it is painful but at the same time it is relax down our all day stress. For some time we get a chance to think from our soul. I mean in the world of busy and full of machinary minds sometime we need to give time to our heart and listen to it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ❤️ I adore you ❤️ you are really sweet!! You have a really beautiful soul!! You parents raised you amazing ❤️

      I know, it just hurts a lot to lose her 💔 I know she misses my dad… and I know life works like this… it’s just hard cause my mom is just amazing and everything to me… is my mom ❤️ when she is gone… She takes part of my heart with her so is just hard

      I think I have a good grip, but then sometimes I do not. Is very painful just because I want her and I really don’t want to lose her… is just how has to be.

      So one side says – this is life, accept it… and the other side clings to her. ☹️💔

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m lucky that I get So much supportive parents. I consider my mom as my god. Whatever I became today because of her she is my teacher my role model my whole world. I know everyone loves his or her mom like that and the term “mother” is so precious. I know what is the pain after loosing someone beloved. Brain says it happens but heart don’t want to understand. I just want to tell onething In this matter listen to your heart and do whatever you feel from the core.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Yes… my mom is same to me ❤️ she has always been there so lovingly and supportively. Make sure while you can, you cherish your parents!! ❤️

        I do know the pain of loss… I lost my dad in 2017… and then a month later my grandfather and my grandmother died while I had cancer… then just a lot happened… so I know the pain that will be coming again ☹️

        At least is slow… and that she leave slowly… and I don’t want her to have sadness, loneliness or any pain… so I do know it will be ok and that will just mean her time has come.

        She has had a good life, and she is loved very much

        But you are right – is my heart that wants to hold on so tightly ❤️

        I am a mom too… so I do know how that love is in both ways. ❤️

        I suppose there is a time where you have to pass the baton and let the next generation be ready to handle on their own… I guess we aren’t really ever “ready” to let go?

        I already lost all my other older family – she is the only one left… so is kind of like all the love and protection I have ever known will be gone?

        But I have learned to be strong myself and I do ok. She raised me good ❤️ she always lives on in my heart!

        I am… because of her ❤️

        She’s just my heartstring ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  2. See? baths are bomb. Hey Trisha, your mom is so pretty and laid back in these pictures. Nice to see a baby you, and I know this is a stretch, but could you pleeeeeeeeeeease post some more pictures of a grown you? Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha you want to see what I look like lol … I am a little private with that… I have had stalkers in the past… and because I was with the police I saw how people stole others identities… also I kinda like people to relate to me off my words instead of what I look like. That way I know they are real ❤️

      Let me mull that over… lol… I don’t want what I look like to influence how people relate to me?

      Lol but I understand you are curious lol… let me think about it. 😘✌️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You don’t have to do what you don’t feel like, but this is probably the most irrelevant advice you ever got; because of the little I know of you, you are proof of this very advice. You live and breath it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. lol … well I was in a controlling and abusive marriage for years and years… completely devoted myself and forgot all about “me”

        Lol but you are correct – I don’t do things unless I am ok with them for myself.

        I do and say what I want to say…cause I was never really allowed before… plus been through hell and back… And I am also old at this point so I will take that “old person” mentality to just be whoever I want to be lol … I have earned it lol 😄✌️

        Hahaha I do live it and breathe it. – that’s funny

        It’s very free’ing though!! I wish people be more free like that… they would love it ❤️ you just let go and be you ❤️ I have a song I will post shortly … was one of my favorites as a child … I kinda really love it…

        I think this one song kinda just explains me 😘✌️❤️ I do that shortly

        Liked by 1 person

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