On camera & other things

So today went well. Just did training – nothing overly exciting…

What I didn’t know is that we were all going to be on camera – ugh 😝😝😝 I just don’t like that.

I like my privacy – it feels like an invasion of privacy a little bit – they know what I look like – why you gotta see me? To make sure I am not making faces? Lol

My profile for the company has my photo – is that not good enough? Lol … is it more exciting to sit there and watch me listen… cause I don’t talk…

Although one subject they actually went around and asked all of us about… so I did have to speak – I just don’t like this everyone on camera stuff 😝😝😝 why???

I am not in school… they know what I look like and they know I am at work 🤨 is this necessary? I can listen in on the phone… or is it they wanna make sure I am paying attention? And not falling asleep? Lol 😝 I’m listening!

I just didn’t know and walked into that today… how do you make a webcam camera not work? Lol

I’m kidding – a little bit but not really lol ✌️ I don’t like it. I don’t see the point

Anyway… called the car guy today to check in about my car – he is still looking at it, and will get back to me… in the meantime I have to use the cherry 🍒 red truck with kisses 💋💋 OMG – killing me!!

I will never buy a red vehicle 🚗!! 😝😝😝 it’s like a spotlight and those kisses!! Could it be any more attention drawing??

So anyway … I can’t keep waiting for them and hoping that they gonna give me benefits and full time… my car is dying and I will struggle the more they wait… so they are gonna lose me soon.

I’m looking. Actively

Remember the guy I picked up from hospital yesterday? He said if I clean his house for him once a month he would pay me for that.

But he wants the same day every week… so I’m just going to tell work… I am not going to be able to work on that day.

It can’t be on the weekends cause they desperately need help on weekends… and I work Mondays …

I think I will pick Wednesday?

So I have to break that to work, maybe they up their game but I doubt it – is a corporation … they only about money, not employees. We see.

In any event will help.

I told that to my landlord… and she got all worried… she’s had breast cancer too… you’re not supposed to stress

She said “you are working yourself too much”

But ya know… you do that. The courts aren’t going to help any… so I have to. I have a child.

So anyway… I’ll do the cleaning thing for awhile – while I look for better

I will miss certain aspects of this job… I kinda like it… but there is office drama 🙄😑 and they do overwork you

And another thing I am learning is that… is such a tight little niché – the funeral business … that everyone knows everyone else no matter what funeral home you work at!! They all know each other 😮

I find that a little funny

You just know everyone who deals with death lol – they are all really funny though ❤️ very good personalities usually… still office drama like high school but good compassionate people – very thoughtful

Anyway the cleaning job will help a little until either they step up or I step out. ✌️

And if I have to get another car… the money from cleaning will cover that. So I could potentially swing it ❤️ see no worries lol

Just don’t talk to my landlord lol… she will tell you I do too much. It is just for the moment while I get it handled. I can’t depend the courts will help at all because they haven’t – so ya know whatever – I got it

With my car and doing 3 locations and raising a child, ya know they have to step up or they lose a good employee during a hiring freeze. So life goes on. ✌️

I meet with lawyer on Thursday – I really don’t expect much. It’s always been that way.

Work has me for 4 more hours. So they didn’t say need me tmrw … but maybe Wednesday – cause I can not on Thursday and then possibly Friday… but hopefully not. I don’t want to work Friday – and I have my Friday night with kids and after they leave I have to go pick up my neighbors using his big giant truck!! 😮😮😮 in the dark cause will be approx 11pm when their plane lands

But is only 4 hours so whatever

So I do believe I have tmrw off ❤️ woo hoo!

And now I just have to tell work – I can’t work Wednesday’s… I have to think of how to word that.

3 locations, part time, hour away, gas, car etc… so yeah they gonna have to make a decision here cause I can’t make it work with all those miles on my little car.

I am a little nervous to see what my car guy will say… but the offer of the cleaning job came at a good time

I didn’t even mention a word to him about anything… he just texted me that offer today.

I am a little leery … only because yesterday when I picked him up from the hospital – he was all drugged up from the surgery…

The nurse and me got him into the truck, and on the way home he say he hungry. I asked if he wanted me to stop somewhere and grab food for him…

And he said… well I want to actually sit down and eat, will you come to a sit down restaurant with me to eat?

I said no I have my daughter – I have to get home. I just figured he asked that because he was drugged up and also was not allowed to eat before surgery for like 48 hours or something?

But anyway… I said no, and again I asked if he want me to stop, and grab something quick for him? He said no to that. So ok – I brought him to his house.

I helped him inside and to lay down, he was really out of it… I went to get him some water and I came back and he was out.

So I just quietly left, locking door behind me.

I didn’t mention anything about my life and he doesn’t know much about my life. I am just quiet and cautious.

He knows I work for funeral homes but I don’t say anything about work because I do know it makes him uncomfortable. And especially with his cancer stuff

So whatever – I don’t tell him anything about my life. I keep distance. Low key. I be a friend and help but that’s it.

So I dunno… cause that dinner invite and he was drugged up… but that made me feel uneasy. I just brushed it off that he didn’t know what he was saying. He was out of it completely

It was around lunch time he texted me about helping him with cleaning the house.

I just let it sit there for awhile. Cause I dunno. I am careful

My fear is he wants to get me close to know me… so I want to make sure is ok and not that – I just feel uneasy.

But then I was thinking – I’m going to have to handle this car situation and that would let me do that. Without worry. Cause you know – I worry

And I don’t want him um? I don’t want him trying to know me.

He can’t handle my work talk so that right there makes me uneasy.

So I’m going to have to tread very carefully there. For now we see. I guess is ok. I can always stop if it’s not good. I just don’t trust. So we see.

On another subject… my daughter … her typing is hilarious … her little fingers been typing since she was an infant… so she flies … before COVID in school – the teachers would have her sit at the computer and be the one to type out the notes for the kids because she flies! Lol

Sometimes people think she is just hitting keys really fast… I’m telling you it’s fast!! I have never seen someone so fast. Probably like 500 words a minute lol – it’s insane

I mention that currently because she is on the computer next to me and her little fingers are setting that keyboard on fire lol- she is using “Discord” with her friends (I call it “disillusion” lol) she always rolls her eyes lol

But she doesn’t miss a letter or a key and can do with eyes closed lol 😮 it’s both weird and incredible at the same time!!

And she doesn’t even use correct finger placement! I should have her tested and see what her speed actually is lol – now I am curious!

I will read tmrw since I have day off ❤️ I’m kinda tired, and thinking too much. 😘 was a good day though

Minus the stupid zoom meeting thing 😝😝😝 can we not do that? Or do by phone?? Why you gotta see me?

Oh yeah, is not AS smoky – not raining ash anymore… but is still smoky and they say our air is like smoking a pack of cigarettes a day 😮… they say don’t be outside unless you have to… and is very unhealthy .

Ok I have to go to bed… I am tired… good night for now 😘✌️

11 thoughts on “On camera & other things

Add yours

      1. Yeah I always hope. But I’m kinda losing that at this point so it’s too heavy to keep holding on … it’s not right and not fair but ya know that’s life and some people are dirty …

        I always used to believe good & truth would always prevail, but this is the world – it doesn’t work like that

        So I just move on for myself. If it changes than bonus… but he doesn’t get to destroy me or my life ✌️😘

        Yeah I am very leery on this one so we will see. I’m cautious so I can handle… and it will help… and I can stop if it becomes more than I want or can handle. Just cautious. I don’t like ulterior motives so I hope not that and that he just needs help. We see

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much 🥰… it is life, so I just share that openly.

      I figure many have things I try to get through – this is mine – maybe it can connect with someone else and give hope or inspiration or at least effort ❤️

      Life is not ever perfect, sometimes people try to project that everything is fine – maybe sometimes me too? But it’s life – you handle it – so I just hope the openness makes someone else not feel so alone? You keep trying.

      Thank you again very much❣️ Appreciate that.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. So much info… I think I already forgot half!!

    There are free online typing speed tests.

    I’d check with the surgery guy again when he’s totally sober… just to make sure the request wasn’t anesthesia induced!

    Cherry kiss car… hahaha!!

    Is the camera thing interviews or they’re installing cams to monitor you? I was okay with being watched at a job but only because there was no sound recording. I probably would have lost my job (with everyone else) if the overlords could hear the bitching.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I know about the online typing tests – I told her we have to try one lol she’s open it it, she finds it funny

      Yeah, people aren’t always honest and forthcoming with their motives – so I am just careful. I will watch. If I feel I need to say anything – I will lol

      No it was just the meeting with the webcams on the computers 😝 I’m dress obviously cause I am at work… maybe camera should just be for those at home? Cause it’s annoying … I only don’t mind cameras when I am ok with it… but it makes me uncomfortable like that, where is focused – and I don’t understand the point – so everyone can be there looking like morons together? Lol – it’s dumb.

      No they don’t monitor, they know we work and work well.

      It was training – but all they did was talk… they didn’t show anything or whatever – just talk – so they must want to make sure we pay attention 🤨 which is also dumb… they didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. They just want to be on camera and feel like they somebody maybe? I dunno – I don’t like it

      We don’t really bitch – we too busy … sometimes is office drama but that’s no big deal… most of the time ✌️😄🙄


      1. Hahaha I feel like a moron cause I’m just sitting there looking like a dweeb lol

        I do not see the point at all!! I am at work… they don’t have to make sure I’m dressed and out of bed lol – I am working … and like I said nothing was said I didn’t already know… so they force me to be on camera and bored stiff like I said looking like a dweeb cause what am I supposed to do- I’m just sitting there – why they need to see me?

        I don’t mind the phone and I still pay attention…

        Awhile back they changed the umm?? catch phrase and made us watch this online presentation for 2 hours omg … I have work to do… all of it could have been said in 5 minutes but they put together this 2 hour boring ass thing

        I watched it though and paid attention … my computer made me 🤨 lol

        But yeah not a big fan lol


      2. LOL. We used to have video training that included popup quizzes to ensure you were paying attention. When they didn’t, I’d hit play and minimize the window while I did real work!

        I was extremely relieved when my online painting class was one-way… no home cams or microphones!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I have this university thing I have to do… classes that give me quizzes lol… but you can opt out of the quizzes if you answer first 5 questions with no mistakes – I hit that everytime!! Lol … I always Ace it … I do pay attention lol

        Yeah my computer wouldn’t let minimize and it made us watch the entire thing… it froze because was nationwide!! So that took even more time!! I was annoyed lol

        Yeah I do not like being on camera like that for work.

        Liked by 1 person

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