Court, hospitals, doctors, death …oh my!

So today I had the day off, slept in maybe an extra hour… and then have been working on my case to present to new lawyer.

I am also making copies of orders and files.

Here is something a little humorous lol… I have his lawyer listed in my phone under some really bad words 😄😄😄✌️

He called me today – and emailed and both pop up with the really bad words 😄😄😄❤️ I really enjoy that cause that’s exactly what he is!!

I did not answer or respond. Screw that.

They seem to be running scared now? Cause all of the sudden he is sending me his pay slips… he was supposed to give all of it… he just not at 5pm turned over a few general pay slips .. that’s not good enough – that is not all the information – I want tax returns – they forced me… now your turn.

Just his general ones – nope not good enough … I want income tax returns and 1099’s! I want all 401k information also.

Sneaky little snake- they know I have a good lawyer now… slime ball!! The bad words fit them both.

I hate when he infects my phone with his phone calls!! But seeing the bad words come up – it makes me laugh 🤭 cause immediately I know it’s that loser.

That’s not good enough – you going down now. I hope they are scared cause I’m about to come hard!

Funny how he waits until just now for that. I am sure they looked up my new lawyer and now he’s scared – though he could hide everything and still thinks he can… otherwise would have turned over everything else – he knew he had to turn over SOME financials but that is not good enough – can’t wait to see the new lawyer

He wants me or my lawyer to call him before Friday – unless it’s necessary for lawyer to call- I will tell him not to… let them sweat

No deal.

Anyway so dealt with that stuff today… I’m probably not going to be on much – other than quickly here and there …

I work all day tmrw – and I want all files ready to go… perfectly… very ocd with it!! And I have my presentation which is without emotion and written down so that be quick and easy also – but I am just making sure I have everything situated.

I hate this court stuff and I have always been the one panicking – let him panic a little 🙏

I still feel panic, but let me meet the new lawyer. Then I will know how it will go better.

Anyway if I am not working at the funeral homes – I be working on that … so I might take a few days cause this is big to me. I will be back though when I can. Once I am through Friday at least!!

I have a lot of other stuff kind of going on also…

Remember my corona friend? She came to me a little while ago and said she went to doctor… they wanted to do a body scan for cancer cause they had a concern – she was scared

She came to me maybe 2 weeks ago with this news – they want to make sure she does not have lung cancer…

I asked if she told her family and she said no… I told her to, but she said not yet – she doesn’t want the extra attention from her family just because possible cancer and she didn’t have the scan yet.

She texted me this morning and I met her outside. She told me to bring my reading glasses 🤓

We took a walk… she handed me her phone because she got the results from the scan

She has tiny abnormalities on her lungs – very small and they can’t tell what it is. Is 4 mm dots

I told her to tell her family again!!! I am not a doctor and these were actual lab results

They MAY want a biopsy, which should be easy, I’ve gone through many… done with a needle, not sure if is same for lungs or not?

It said neck lymph nodes seem normal, but she had Mediastinal lymph nodes (that kind of worries me)

So we talked … I did tell her when I got diagnosed with cancer and they initially got the lab results back – they called immediately before sending to me… like IMMEDIATELY!!! They don’t mess around with cancer – mine came back blatant – no question – they moved FAST!!

Her spots on her lungs are so very tiny they are unsure. And if is anything – she is catching really early… hopefully and according to the lab tests… it doesn’t look like any spread. So I don’t know if they will do a biopsy… I told her to call the doctor and hear what he has to say before panicking… I also told her “go tell your family” if anyone be by your side, you NEED them!! Tell them!!!!

I walked her over to her families house and told her good luck … I wanted her to have privacy while telling them. She listened and went in… I’m not sure what happened – wanted them to have that space as a family. That was this morning.

I also have another friend who texted me just today… he does not take care of himself at all, and I don’t think this will scare him to do so either…

But he had lab tests done, and he has really high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, all the tests came back really bad and the doctor told him he is one heartbeat away from a heart attack 😮

He has to completely change his life… he is not that type. He’s very high strung… And he said… he might just do whatever he wants and let it happen 🤨 it will be a lot of work and very hard for him to change and he just wants to do whatever he wants. He is stubborn

I offered to help with a meal plan, exercise plan or anything else he needs, but I don’t know if he even wants help. He is just overwhelmed right now… so he’s taking it in… I told him if he needs anything at all, let me know. He’s really upset – I told him that is not going to help matters. Stay calm and can figure out better … you know that’s there now, so can take steps to fix. To be upset with already high blood pressure and bad test results is NOT a good thing!! I’m not really sure what he is going to do?

I am not really a close friend of his… but he knows I had my own medical issues and I am very compassionate with that.

So, kinda good news for my girl friend? But not so great for this guy friend… I hope they are both ok

And then in September … I will have to bring another friend – completely different than those 2… I have to bring another friend to the hospital on the 9th… I making him check the dates cause he initially told me the 8th but then said the 9th today when I spoke to him.

Either way – I will bring him to the hospital (he is my little grumpy old man that doesn’t like anyone – only me lol) I have to have him at the hospital at 7:45am… surgery is at 9am

So I will work Monday and Tuesday that week… and then after work on whatever day it is… I will go to his house and stay the night because he lives very close to my work and would be too far if I went home

That way I can have him at hospital quick and easy that following morning.

Because of corona – I won’t be allowed in the hospital… I can only drop him off and pick him up… so he’s going to give me keys to his house while he’s in surgery… if it’s not too bad (he is my hoarder) I will try to organize some of it, while he is in surgery.

He probably be done around 1pm, I’ll pick him up, make sure he is ok and then I can go home.

So not just my stuff going on… a lot of other things around me. With people I care about.

For a long time my life was doctors and hospitals 🏥… and court …

This time it’s not me with the medical issues… but once again is becoming doctors, hospitals and court 😶

It’s like a circle!! ⭕️

The more I want to stay away from something the more it wants me!! Lol … same thing with death!!

When I was looking at that other job and wanting to leave… I kept having really weird things happening!

At first I didn’t think much of it… it would be a song on the radio or something someone said… easy to explain away…

But then it started getting more and more… kinda like signs – I wasn’t supposed to leave death yet? Or death just likes having me there? I’m supposed to be there currently for some reason??

Words or pictures kept coming up, a certain number I associate with death was everywhere… just really weird things that don’t usually happen – could totally be a coincidence but it was weird and constant! Totally constant!

When I stopped trying to leave that all stopped! Completely!

When I went through my own deaths in my family – it was really hard – I couldn’t process at those moments… cause it was one right after the other and I was also taking control over my mother and being diagnosed with breast cancer, all at the same time.

I am able to process death better (I think?) now… I know it’s life… and I know you can’t always escape it … death has let me personally live 4 times already!! It did not take me in those times I almost died, it spared me!

So I don’t know if it’s that I need to be with death for myself? And death is trying to hold my hand? (Cause I will lose my mom eventually too – that will be a hard one)

Or is death trying to help me walk through life? Death could have easily taken me any one of those times, but didn’t

How would I be if I lose some of my people?

My last close death was my grandmother and that was right before my final surgery. I took all of it really hard.

This job helped me process through all those things!! Still does, and I do get comfort from helping the other families. I can relate and I know that pain.

It’s just weird.

I’m still not sure how a close death will effect me now though… with the job I am on the other side… And I get to go home and my day is done, I didn’t personally suffer a loss…

I go home and my life is normal… but when it’s personal? It’s actually in my life … That hits my own heart so I’m not really sure how losses will effect me now? Will I process better? 🙏

Anyway… doctors hospitals and courts again. 😐

I hate all 3 of those things and they keep haunting my life lol …

I kinda feel like death holds my hand a little? I know – totally weird – but whatever

I am just afraid of losing people I love or care about. So we see.

I will be busy for a little while, I will be back though 😘❤️

I seriously need another lock down!!! For one minute!!

Once I get through court on Friday… I be more at ease with my own stuff and then will help the others. Whew