So alright… ready to start the day!

I was thinking something… when I mentioned attention and how I only like it when “I” command it lol 😄✌️ …

It just made me remember … I did a lot of PR work (public relations) with the police department, when I was first trying to get out…

The police were my safe place. ❤️ I know they get a bad rep now … and is hard. My police are good guys – I love them very much! Not all of them are bad… some are amazing human beings, who do actually want to serve and protect. They helped me get away kinda – they were my first step. I needed them. They gave me safety.

They were my first step in getting out. It means a lot to me.

My police are humble and kind. They are good guys. Please take people on a “case by case” basis, some are incredibly amazing.

Just like in a group of many different people of any descent or occupation or whatever … you will have some good, and you will have some bad in every group.

If you ask for my opinion… I would say that to become a police officer should be a lot harder. That’s not to say their training is not difficult – it is.

But I just mean, schooling – all other jobs require degrees, that should be required there too.

Also 🤨… when I take a job 🤨… I am forced to watch and read all the sexual harassment things… which is good… it’s just they push that heavily and constantly… I have only had one experience I had to say something with.

(I worked with some guy who just nonchalantly sent me a picture of his junk 🤨… he was creepy. I just went to my boss, handed him my phone and said “handle this” or I will) lol ✌️

But point is… they should be required to take classes on public relations and racism. It should be an entire course.

Maybe also better mental screening… mental health is important and effects many… also in that… you could maybe detect any severe attitudes?

Nothing is ever perfect, and much change IS needed… but I’m just saying … I do love my police and they were there when I needed them.

I support my police, but I also support the fight against racism. I hurt to watch 2 things I support strongly go up against each other. ☹️💔

Anyway… sorry sidetracked … when I was with them, like I said… I did PR things… I did school assemblies and store openings, special events, etc…

I’m very confident when I command attention… I have zero fear of public speaking to a group like that. It doesn’t bother me at all. I can capture your attention. I don’t have any issues there. Of course it’s not with my personal things …

But I have a way with people? It’s very easy to me… sorta… in that setting totally – fearless. I can be in front of kids or adults and speak confidently. I do not fear how I am thought of.

Ok… so having said that… I need to apply my “fearlessness” here … I will be public speaking, so I have to just think on those terms for court

And then… facts only… that rings in my head.

Ok so I will comb through everything… get what I want situated… I will remove any feelings or emotions. I can have none here!! Seriously zero.

I won’t need them, the facts will be enough.

The one thing I will be nervous with is being in the same room with the devil. Bleh 😝 that trips me up a little bit. I do still have fear towards him, and the courts. It’s been traumatizing horrendously.

But I’m going to get rid of the fear… cause my plan is to remove my feelings and also my opinions. I am just going to stick to the straight facts.

If I am successful in doing that, I don’t think he will be able to knock me down anymore?

He is banking on me to be soft and emotional… he’s been trying to break me… he was with me since I was a kid… he knows who I am… he knows exactly how to read me.

I have to control my facial expressions – he can read those easy. I must have only facts and no emotions. No opinions, no feelings, only facts. You can’t argue facts.

He knows I still fear him. He plays on that. He also has not had to answer to anything, so he feels he can get away with anything. And he has.

So I have to be someone he does not know. I kinda am…

I’ve been through all this, I think I am stronger – I look back to see what I walked through and I’m like oh wow, I was strong… not really cause those moments REALLY sucked!! And I wasn’t totally strong while sobbing lol… I have been through hell.

But those moments showed me my strength and my spirit ❤️

And I never want fear to determine my life.

I hated all those hard moments … but I also think – even though I hated them… I needed them… I needed some life lessons. I learned.

I can learn here too. ❤️ Let me see what I can do 🙏


4 thoughts on “Learning

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: