Opening doors myself ❤️

So I have the 2 jobs… which I love both!! Very much! They both work well for me and help me through a lot of things.

But not enough… I want more. I don’t want to be at anyone’s mercy… I don’t want to be at my ex’s mercy or the courts and I’m tired of fighting – still doing that – but I’m tired of it and I don’t want to “depend”

So today I signed up for night school … I will work the 2 jobs – go to school at night… and then later be able to have one really awesome job… and give myself safety and security.

I need to have a job with health insurance because of the breast cancer… and I want a good career so I just won’t be at anyone’s mercy. I want to just do myself.

I have one girlfriend who is boy crazy… she always tells me – one way to get over someone is to find someone else 🤨 she constantly trying to set me up – I keep telling her NO!! First of all, I definitely don’t need to be set up, and secondly – I’m not ready…

No thank you. I would like a clear mind and also I wanna rise from the ashes. I want to be really strong and then MAYBE…

And in my own opinion… the best revenge is to show the asshole what he lost, not what he tried to crush. And I’m a good example to my own children…

And then on top of that… I don’t need anyone else to complete me, I am complete within myself … I just want to be really strong so no one can ever try to take me down again. I don’t ever want to “need” anyone – I only want to “want” them.

And I’m driven, I’m strong in spirit always – but I am driven to have that safety and security… I don’t trust anyone to give or help me with that – so I want to get that myself.

And then also… I don’t like being hit on or that kind of attention because … ok this might sound little bit harsh- but yeah I only want someone who actually deserves my time… so show me you deserve it… don’t be like all the others. Treat me with respect and kindly. Being hit on only makes me want to run the other way… and only shows me that’s the only way you know how to handle women – so yeah – I’m not interested.

When I do decide I want a life partner – I want to make sure is a good man… not just anyone … good luck – cause he’s going to have to catch my attention… and then once he has that… oh he better just be a good man cause I’m not dealing with anything less than that.

I want my life strong and if I ever give my heart again – I want that strong too.

Life tried to crush me… so trying to crush life now! ✌️ – took all these moments as lessons and now going to take those lessons and grow.

But yay!!! I’m about to get educated ❤️ with 2 jobs, being a mom, having survived through breast cancer and the loss of my family and an abusive marriage/horrific divorce…

So right now I am happy by myself – not thrilled … but I do love life and I want a safe secure happy life … so when I have that for myself – then I can let down my guard and find a real man, IF I want that at that point.

I think eventually I would… cause I do want a companion to share my life with – I do want that hand to hold in peace during my final moments …

But I want a healthy relationship – something strong … someone to make amazing memories with, so ya know – after everything I have been through – I think I’m on the right track for myself… my life is getting better and better so far this year. ❤️

And if someone comes into my life … oooohhh … well we will just have to see where I am at that point. A man would have to be pretty special to catch my attention. I won’t be holding my breath, is not a priority for me at this moment. I don’t want just anyone.

So yeah… I’m excited – I opening doors for myself and creating my own way to stand on my own ❤️