Well hello 👋

It has been quite the weekend 👏

First let me rewind to Friday – the best day ever always 😘❤️ …usually ✌️

Friday at work I had a charity luncheon to go to with my new guy …

So of course, I know people – this is my community – where I live and work … so some were coming up and giving me hugs, – but this is anywhere actually even in Sac, I was same. I am very personable – when I let people know me then is like that…

And I have purpose with the funeral home and think that’s important – I get so comfortable with my people and my job – I forget about my ex 😮 the longer I am away from him – the more I feel myself ❤️ but I forget about him… and then the attention am drawing in our town 😮 … I forget to stay quiet … but when he comes back I worry cause I have trauma there …so I worry with severe silence and keeping balance 😮 but we see 🙏

Well whatever

So anyway … I am butterflying around and introducing him, including him in convos …

He is very charming, funny… good guy, good demeanor – perfect direction … he is young … but with all that you would think he could walk in all confidence like he own it – but he shy lol … in business ?? He could totally own it – he has a good presence … but is all still new to him … still getting his bearings – he still in transition over to my location.

Well anyway – I did not expect the shyness lol 🤷‍♀️ he is not shy at all with us and rocks it… so I did not see the shyness coming lol

https://youtu.be/rkpG4XApJ28

Is business, so you network… he’s got a great presence for networking if he not shy… he has nothing to be self conscience about – he’s quite charming and funny… we funeral people – we hilarious and wonderful thoughtful people 👏❤️ … is a people business … literally 😳

But I’m sure he’s still reading the “area”

https://youtu.be/QGJuMBdaqIw

Like I said – with us he’s already comfortable and not shy, funny – and he is observant type 👏 also thoughtful. Good guy – totally comfortable with us ❤️👏

We will get him there lol 👏 takes time … but he’ll get it – he’s quite charming – they will love him!!

Then there was my daughters dance show which you saw ❤️ that was a spontaneous Friday night lol

I didn’t know about it until Friday – she said nothing 😮 but was awesome and we had wonderful time – I love watching her enjoy herself and then also be up on stage 👏❤️ my little girl ❤️ and all those memories she making ❤️… that’s MY baby… I create that ❤️ … she rolls her eyes – but I take credit lol 😘

Saturday … well ugh I had to do yard work and then bring her back up to school for another 2 shows 😮 Saturday afternoon and then Saturday night 😮

I did my front yard and went to do back – but my battery 🔋 died on the lawnmower …so I had to go charge it… and it took awhile so I did laundry and cleaned before taking her to school, and waiting for the batteries to recharge lol

So I came home and the batteries were charged so I did the back yard … but I also have a side yard to do… but only had enough charge for backyard – my back yard is HUGE! Took me forever to mow

So once again I had to charge and didn’t get to my side yard – takes too long to recharge and my yard so big … why did I get a HUGE yard? 🤷‍♀️I didn’t realize how big it actually is!! 😮

So whatever maybe next weekend ?

But I’m doing it!! 👏👏 and fixing things ❤️👏 so very happy and excited with that! 💪

Check me out all handy and doing these things ❤️👏… ish lol … I google and watch YouTube for how to do …lol 😘✌️

I have some funny Doby things – I bought him this cactus 🌵 chew toy … well he constantly follows me and shoves the cactus at me to play 🙄 it does not have prickers but it is annoying lol … why did I buy a toy cactus?! 🌵 that was a toy offered at local pet store 🏬 is a vinyl cactus 🌵 in a pot that squeaks, or used to 🙄😄 dude is a powerhouse! 😮

At night he goes into wicked protective mode and if he hears a noise – man is on it lol ❤️ awww my fur baby ❤️❤️😄👏 keeping me safe at night ❤️

He acts all fierce for someone to be scared – but is funny because is him lol … he’s very loving the minute he meets you lol … but that is a new thing

https://youtu.be/u0ORz4ZWCqQ

👏👏👏 lol ❤️

Also… I have this massage thing that goes on your chair and “supposably” massages you… it’s better than nothin lol … but isn’t not overly massaging deep tissue lol 😄

Well anyway … Doby does not like to come be my lap dog if I am sitting on that and have it on 😄😄 he does not like the vibration 😄😄 … so I sit there and turn it on 😄😄… he gets all mad 😄 …and the minute it turns off …he’s in my lap lol 🙄

He is sooo quirky and funny 😄❤️

On the weekends he is literally GLUED to me! Lol 🙄 but he is a sweetie ❤️ he is almost 1 years old – come July (the best month ever lol ✌️) 😮❤️ wow that went slow and fast lol

And then today I was supposed to do a ton more things than I completed – but whatever … was slow playing the day lol

Today was my friend who almost died … it was her birthday today 👏🎈 I went to see her and brought beautiful flowers with many beautiful colors 💐❤️

I got to meet her neice 😊 very nice woman 👏

Had a nice weekend 😊❤️

I know Monday will hit hard!! There was a lot of death this weekend for our location 😮 so bracing for what walking into 😮😳😮

https://youtu.be/Qy9_lfjQopU

Good night 💤😘🌙😴 ❤️✌️

I’m too tired to post – my eyes can’t stay open, and my body aches for melting into bed!!!

But from Friday ❤️…

Notice John Denver cover lol ❤️👏 (btw this was a class she had to take instead of PE – this satisfies physical education requirement) and she loves it!! She looks so beautiful ❤️

There was a woman there that wore a shirt that said there is no hood like motherhood lol 😄😄👏👏 my boys commented that’s totally a shirt mom would wear 😄😄🤷‍♀️ they know their mother – yes I would lol 😄✌️

👏👏

So yeah … I love you Friday ❤️

https://youtu.be/mGgMZpGYiy8

Ok – I have to sleep 💤

Gnite 💋

My daughter call me at work today and asked are you coming to my show?

What?? What show?? Do I have Alzheimer’s ?? Cause I would never forget one of my kids things

But woman just tell me today!! 😳

Ok 2 questions for you… is your dad going? and what show is this?? Lol I knew nothing about this until this afternoon 😮😮

She said he is not going so I will be there ❤️ it is some dance show which she is dancing

Alright then … the boys picking me up in minute and we gonna go – I had to buy tickets 🎟️ lol

https://youtu.be/9sY-TsLXiDo

Nothin like spontaneous huh? Love 16!! 😄❤️ surprise 😮

https://youtu.be/pkCyfBibIbI

I love you Friday ❤️

Ugh 😩… I said almost

Ok well like I said – life does not like when you go around spewing too much happiness 😮

I feel sick 🤢

My lawyer called today… and said the other lawyer – and she couldn’t remember his name … so I said, that’s ok – I know who you talking about, you can just call him asshole, I will know who you mean. Yup totally said that. She nervously laughed – whatever

It’s starting again… he knows I’m back in town and doing well. He wants me crushed – it’s never gonna end … he is always gonna be there to harass 😫 I hate him

Instantly I feel sick, and panic – I can feel that in my chest… and like I wanna run again.

Also, some old friends back east friend requested me on Facebook – I want them … but I don’t want Facebook – so I’m just gonna leave that alone … just be silent … I don’t wanna open that. 👎

I don’t want that. So you will have to find another way to reach me. I can’t

And I don’t wanna reach out because I also want the silence – I don’t want to say anything about everything – I don’t want to explain and say everything … I do not care to do that

I would not be able to handle the intense emotion … nope 👎 … can not do that

I also do not have the balancing energy to do that. They were close friends maybe 30/40 years ago… they gonna wanna know things – and I don’t want to rehash all the stuff that sends me into panic and sadness

Please let Satan leave me alone 🙏🙏 I hate him 😭

https://youtu.be/ODDTeIxFpyA

The government and courts DO NOT protect

Stay away from me!! Leave me alone

They forever keep him in my life!! Get him away from me!!!

He must be miserable if he turning towards me again. Ugh 😩… I hate him!

https://youtu.be/d8ekz_CSBVg

The epitome of NOT A MAN!! I hate him

May he forever burn in hell – I can’t see him again – I can not do that and be ok.

So that might be a thing.

We see.

Get the F away from me!!

Alright so… I maybe have moments of silence and withdrawal – it just happens – I will try not to let it because sometimes coming here helps – but I am only silent to recollect my own self. Not because I don’t love life – I do

If the panic and things are too overwhelming I will go massive silent so just warning ⚠️ but maybe I be ok? I don’t know

I just don’t want anything to do with him or these things – there are things like this I have the ptsd with severely so 🤷‍♀️ … I don’t have any protection

😭

So yeah – I be fine just uneasy what he gonna pull now

See why I am so careful now? He has been my worst nightmare in EVERY sense … Omg

https://youtu.be/CD-E-LDc384

I fear him because he has zero mercy. Yeah he makes me feel sick

😭 bleh

But it will maybe be fine 🙏 I’m just scared 😳 I do not trust him at all 😮 not in slightest… so I feel sick- everything out of his mouth is a lie

He is pure evil – I hate him 😭 I do not want him coming back into my life 😭

Ok so I just have to keep composure til meet with lawyer

Please leave me alone 😩 he is sadist – definitely mental

And they don’t protect you – welcome to the United States justice system – how many systems we have broken now? What? Everything? 🤷‍♀️

They don’t protect you

So … well I am used to it … but it’s been awhile

He’s been quiet for a year – what a miserable human being – I hate him 😭

Ok well it is what it is, and this is the hand I am currently playing with

https://youtu.be/bESGLojNYSo

No emotions – you can’t not let him know how you feel or think omg – he will aim at that and strike whatever your weakness is… he is brutal

😩

I never wanna have that again 😭

With silence I feel little protected 💔 because of the silence … is safer … but then that also isolates me

It all makes me cry…

Ugh I hate him – god have mercy from him please!! -satan is mental

Ok well – I have hopefully learned how to protect myself so guess here we go again

It’s just alot to have him come back like that – I just have sheer panic 😩

But ok – let’s be a big girl about this… this is what is – and this is what gotta handle – alright

https://youtu.be/Ra-Om7UMSJc

https://youtu.be/_XgXdhTGB34

🙏

I can handle many things – and do ok… but I am not ok here 😮

https://youtu.be/W_yRODJ6kfc

He wants to make sure I am crushed and have nothing and have pain – he didn’t take me down yet, but he is determined … I hate him. I’m telling you he’s mental

Stay away from me!!

https://youtu.be/w_tiAmnLieI

I’ll handle it – hopefully well 🙏 this is my life – the dark side 😮

Meet satan 😩💔😭

It will be totally fine and I will handle it.

But just for the record – I hate him – he is the evil that exists in this world!!!

Ok have to go at this moment – I be back when able and not being silent ☹️ but I will try not to 🙏 but sometimes I need it to feel safe

So ok – bye for now

Had really interesting week… ugh many things including an earthquake didn’t see coming … but my weekends have been amazing ❤️👏 the warmer it gets – the more my life comes alive 😮 … see hibernate in winter – come alive in summer ☀️

Friday I did something I have never done before 😮😮 TOTALLY winged it – and did well for first time lol 🫶

I only did well because I am catholic so I know catholic … because I have no fear with public speaking … and because been to enough of these- am familiar with how goes (fortunately and unfortunately)

I lead a informal catholic service 😮 I said I was just office manager but they were fine with that… and the other 2 who were there are young and were totally wide eyed with fear lol … so ok fine – I will do it … and I did. – went well 😊❤️

https://youtu.be/nm6DO_7px1I

I’m kidding ✌️… but went well – better than I expected 😊❤️ so that was new – not even my wheelhouse and I did ok 👍 (I was lucky to know catholic things very well 😊 and then also I am confident person in this area)

Then Saturday, I had daughter to school by noon – came home – it was hotter than hell … wore nice shorts and tshirt 😊 still sweat 😓

https://youtu.be/GcurEoUvK-E

Whoomp, there is finally is 😮😓🔥

https://youtu.be/ffCEr327W44

Ahhhhhh my season – but it’s hot 🥵 lol … we 92 today.

Crankin it 😮 🌡️

https://youtu.be/15UffN8eilI

❤️👏🫶

Her show was at 2 pm til 5pm ❤️🫶 they all did soooooo incredible – it was a musical 🎶… wasn’t all singing and dancing – was story mixed in there too! They did amazing ❤️👏 and the set was incredible 👏👏👏

https://youtu.be/unfzfe8f9NI

Our rides to and from school have been all Abba for awhile lol 😘 since maybe February March? Lol

https://youtu.be/xFrGuyw1V8s

https://youtu.be/-crgQGdpZR0

I am very ABBA’ed currently lol – but I love them so that’s ok

They had a huge closing night celebration dinner supposably planned lol … they put some kid in charge of handling that 😄😄…

Instead of making a reservation – he called the restaurant and said “there will be 50 people coming tonight, thank you” and hung up 😄😄 he did not stay on to make reservation and so they all converged on the restaurant and there was no reservations – so you have a HUGE CROWD of teenagers all coming from being made up in play lol … and they starving lol

They are soooo mad at that kid lol … he learn lesson

It is a little humorous 😄😄

https://youtu.be/5hr64MxYpgk

Don’t assume people know how to do things – even me … with that first time speaking and running funeral … I just have seen done over and over and I am catholic. I know all the prayers and things…

Kid probably never made reservations in his life lol … you can’t just say that and hang up 😄😄

https://youtu.be/_GOR5gvQwDI

But they still had fun and eventually got accommodated 😊❤️ 🫶

Was wonderful night ❤️

And then, they all spend night with me and made me breakfast 🍳 in morning ❤️😮❤️

We celebrated Mother’s Day and oldest’s bday which was on May 8th ❤️ but the year he born – it fell on Mother’s Day ❤️ I became mom for first time that day and he was one of my best presents ever ❤️… so we celebrate that day together ❤️👏

https://youtu.be/3GwjfUFyY6M

Omg he is 29 😮 holy moly … I am so not old enough lol ✌️😘 holy moly! 😵‍💫😳

Got to see my mom through technology ❤️

https://youtu.be/8kAU3B9Pi_U

That reminds me of being little girl with my mom going grocery shopping lol … every Thursday would be shopping day and I remember my car seat – and this song always came on every Thursday… I would belt it out lol 🎶❤️ my mom would laugh and just makes me think of her ❤️ I miss her already

Ok let’s switch topics l✌️…

I was gonna buy plane tickets to go see – but they are expensive and I can’t afford with having to also do the fence …

On a wonderful note… I bought myself my very first set of tools lol 👏

Now I fix things 👏👏 … I fixed my washer all by myself … sorta – I could not twist something because of my limitations – but my son could, so he did that for me ❤️ but otherwise I used my new tools and so far so good 👍 back to business – fixed ✔️ 😊❤️

Had wonderful time and am thrilled ❤️

I am very happy …but also cautious with that ….cause life tends to make sure you are not spewing happiness always lol ✌️

https://youtu.be/5jlI4uzZGjU

❤️ lately having amazing memory moments ❤️

I am trying to also savor so much of that… so when life does throw bad things … I have these incredible moments to hold me while I go through the bad.

Not to mention – moments I want to always remember ❤️ I’m so proud of daughter, also proud of my own self ❤️ … had wonderful entire family weekend ❤️ & birthday celebration 👏❤️

How you not want to savor as much as you can ❤️

https://youtu.be/NUVCQXMUVnI

Still …

https://youtu.be/TUVcZfQe-Kw

😮

Just a have one – am ok safe – not that big for damage or death – but we shook 😮😮

I be back later 😮😮

Ok let’s see how fast I can be to lay down a post before I fall asleep 🥱 🙏…

Well life has been busy!! The school year is coming to an end, my daughter has been in rehearsals and the play has been running since May 4th

My sons birthday happened and Mother’s Day coming

They are all coming to play with me to watch daughter on the 13th – and a girl friend I walk with is coming…

The other one was literally on deaths door ☠️… she could have died … she was lucky … and is still being lucky 🙏 I sat with her in hospital and brought her things at home… help her when need

After the play the kids are all spending the night and we have awesome Mother’s Day/Bday celebration …

Mother’s Day is not his birthday but it was the year he was born ❤️ … we just always celebrate together because was one of the best presents I ever received ❤️ so that will be Sunday ❤️

https://youtu.be/88KQ27f6UXY

https://youtu.be/v1VbOQPxpSU

❤️👏

And then work, going well – getting everything handled and I can see light now and is less anxiety 😊

Although I will tell you 😮 … we are currently about 3 to 4 weeks backed up on cremations 😳 so it’s busy

I put in to take vacation this week 😄😄😄 they like can you just tell us everyday until that occurs lol 😄

And today – one said to me about a locked cabinet … what is in here?

I said “that’s all my secret stuff” lol … only I have that key to it… it contains manual contracts, which I have to keep count of, as well as, banking things etc. – things I handle when I can do MY job lol ✌️

I also said “I’ll have to show you some of the things just in case something happens while I am on vacation lol … and they groaned lol 😄😄

You can survive one week without me lol hopefully 🙏 … they just groan every time I say anything about it lol 😄😄

But that’s not until July … I give them time to build up to handle – be ready!!

Lately, my life been like this:

https://youtu.be/hDFCM6Qnjms

But right now is about to be this:

https://youtu.be/hkVwv4UsdX8

Not very alone 🤷‍♀️ and that’s not exactly my dream lol – but whatever

Gnite 😘😴 💤 🌙 ❤️

I think that is a good description of today lol … Tuesday …

Well going into today – I knew I was gonna have to pull a Hail Mary … 🙏 … my heart was pounding hoping I could pull off – I was pretty confident – but on that off chance that I couldn’t – I worried 😧 it was not a sure thing – and I had to keep on it and then – others were great – so I sent cookies as a thank you for helping us ❤️ 🍪 they help me pull off my Hail Mary 👏👏👏

I can “sometimes” have the Midas Touch 😘❤️ (not always – but sometimes)

https://youtu.be/vwNAObxRBUI

And then I thought I was done with Hail Mary’s for the day – but that was not in the cards for me. 🤷‍♀️

Then I had to do something … and I got it done but there was another Hail Mary attached … ok fine

I asked for a favor and got it – again ❤️ from someone else – they doing me a solid ❤️👏 … tmrw I buy them lunch 🥗 – they are vegetarian so I gotta figure that one out … I’m gonna call his wife and ask her what his favorite is, because I do not know.

So got that one 🙌

I had two more Hail Mary’s for the day… that I was able to pull off 👏👏❤️ ughhhh so many Hail Mary’s

It was like go time all day long 😮

But I pulled it ALL off ❤️👏

Oh and then – a family came into day – I help families to start … I have a gift with people … anyway … they came in today and met with my director … as they were leaving – they peek in my office and see me and say “are you Trisha?” I said yes and knew exactly who they were – and they cry and say how amazing I have been and were very touched ❤️

I hugged them and they held on tight but in a thankful way 😊❤️ I’m glad I give them some peace in a loss

I have always had this gift – always

In the funeral home it’s perfect – but in my life it can be overwhelming

I do know my gift though. Just in funerals it is more concentrated in a particular field and fits perfect ❤️

Plus I fit in with quirky funeral people lol

https://youtu.be/YUFs_1vKYlY

Anyway – was crazy day but really good and made progress – way better than being flung around by Monday – and all my Hail Marys today went perfect and I shine ✨

https://youtu.be/me19SUmWu2s

I tell my people – today they can call me miracle worker 😘👏😄 💋

https://youtu.be/p47fEXGabaY