Hello – almost Friday

Ugh 😩… I said almost

Ok well like I said – life does not like when you go around spewing too much happiness 😮

I feel sick 🤢

My lawyer called today… and said the other lawyer – and she couldn’t remember his name … so I said, that’s ok – I know who you talking about, you can just call him asshole, I will know who you mean. Yup totally said that. She nervously laughed – whatever

It’s starting again… he knows I’m back in town and doing well. He wants me crushed – it’s never gonna end … he is always gonna be there to harass 😫 I hate him

Instantly I feel sick, and panic – I can feel that in my chest… and like I wanna run again.

Also, some old friends back east friend requested me on Facebook – I want them … but I don’t want Facebook – so I’m just gonna leave that alone … just be silent … I don’t wanna open that. 👎

I don’t want that. So you will have to find another way to reach me. I can’t

And I don’t wanna reach out because I also want the silence – I don’t want to say anything about everything – I don’t want to explain and say everything … I do not care to do that

I would not be able to handle the intense emotion … nope 👎 … can not do that

I also do not have the balancing energy to do that. They were close friends maybe 30/40 years ago… they gonna wanna know things – and I don’t want to rehash all the stuff that sends me into panic and sadness

Please let Satan leave me alone 🙏🙏 I hate him 😭

https://youtu.be/ODDTeIxFpyA

The government and courts DO NOT protect

Stay away from me!! Leave me alone

They forever keep him in my life!! Get him away from me!!!

He must be miserable if he turning towards me again. Ugh 😩… I hate him!

https://youtu.be/d8ekz_CSBVg

The epitome of NOT A MAN!! I hate him

May he forever burn in hell – I can’t see him again – I can not do that and be ok.

So that might be a thing.

We see.

Get the F away from me!!

Alright so… I maybe have moments of silence and withdrawal – it just happens – I will try not to let it because sometimes coming here helps – but I am only silent to recollect my own self. Not because I don’t love life – I do

If the panic and things are too overwhelming I will go massive silent so just warning ⚠️ but maybe I be ok? I don’t know

I just don’t want anything to do with him or these things – there are things like this I have the ptsd with severely so 🤷‍♀️ … I don’t have any protection

😭

So yeah – I be fine just uneasy what he gonna pull now

See why I am so careful now? He has been my worst nightmare in EVERY sense … Omg

https://youtu.be/CD-E-LDc384

I fear him because he has zero mercy. Yeah he makes me feel sick

😭 bleh

But it will maybe be fine 🙏 I’m just scared 😳 I do not trust him at all 😮 not in slightest… so I feel sick- everything out of his mouth is a lie

He is pure evil – I hate him 😭 I do not want him coming back into my life 😭

Ok so I just have to keep composure til meet with lawyer

Please leave me alone 😩 he is sadist – definitely mental

And they don’t protect you – welcome to the United States justice system – how many systems we have broken now? What? Everything? 🤷‍♀️

They don’t protect you

So … well I am used to it … but it’s been awhile

He’s been quiet for a year – what a miserable human being – I hate him 😭

Ok well it is what it is, and this is the hand I am currently playing with

https://youtu.be/bESGLojNYSo

No emotions – you can’t not let him know how you feel or think omg – he will aim at that and strike whatever your weakness is… he is brutal

😩

I never wanna have that again 😭

With silence I feel little protected 💔 because of the silence … is safer … but then that also isolates me

It all makes me cry…

Ugh I hate him – god have mercy from him please!! -satan is mental

Ok well – I have hopefully learned how to protect myself so guess here we go again

It’s just alot to have him come back like that – I just have sheer panic 😩

But ok – let’s be a big girl about this… this is what is – and this is what gotta handle – alright

https://youtu.be/Ra-Om7UMSJc

https://youtu.be/_XgXdhTGB34

🙏

I can handle many things – and do ok… but I am not ok here 😮

https://youtu.be/W_yRODJ6kfc

He wants to make sure I am crushed and have nothing and have pain – he didn’t take me down yet, but he is determined … I hate him. I’m telling you he’s mental

Stay away from me!!

https://youtu.be/w_tiAmnLieI

I’ll handle it – hopefully well 🙏 this is my life – the dark side 😮

Meet satan 😩💔😭

It will be totally fine and I will handle it.

But just for the record – I hate him – he is the evil that exists in this world!!!

Ok have to go at this moment – I be back when able and not being silent ☹️ but I will try not to 🙏 but sometimes I need it to feel safe

So ok – bye for now

18 thoughts on “Hello – almost Friday

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  1. Not good. But you are strong. You got through cancer which is like the devil, but you GOT THROUGH, so you are way more stronger than most. I believe in you, your kids believe in you, we all believe in you.

    You’ll get through this also.

    You know where l am and l will get your worm request sorted – oh my that sounds a tad wrong.

    Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I believe in myself too… but I don’t believe in OR TRUST the United States Court System… and I don’t trust HIM!

      We see – I go to lawyer on June 5th … I took day off because I can not handle anything when I have to do court – I can’t have unbalanced in personal and then go to work – I will be too upset and panicked – I’m just gonna wanna be alone and not focus on others

      Liked by 1 person

  2. FFS again! 🙄😡 I had hoped that his shit had ended with that last court date. How the hell can he start picking at that scab again!! Arghh!!!
    So sorry to hear that this is happening again. Hopefully, that good lawyer is still with the firm! Wishing you strength and a whole truck load of love, patience, peace and more strength!! 🙏🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The court system allows it – welcome to the United States

      He’s not that great cause he didn’t fight for me, he just wanted to be done … because I don’t have money and by the time he got my case it was bad

      He’s all I got though – so more lawyer fees

      My ex thinks he will crush me… he will always try until one of us is dead – he wants so badly for me to not do good without him – he wants to be able to say she couldn’t make it without me, she was a loser – that is his focus

      So whatever – I am used to his negativity. He can never be a man or a human being – he is satan and he is evil

      Remember my lady who was one of my families? Well she almost died, I sat in the hospital with her to keep her company and not be scared …

      I checked on her everyday. When she got out, I brought things over for her and continued to check on her, bought her food etc

      Walk together ❤️ she is back and kickin it and calls me her best friend lol ❤️

      I asked her to come with me to the lawyers office – I want them to see

      Let them get understanding of picture here… who he is and what he is doing, as opposed to who I am and what I do.

      I stay far away from him and never ever bother him

      I am getting too much attention lately and I’m sure that alerted him how well I am doing without him.

      So he can not have that.

      🙏🙏❤️ thank you!! 🤗 I will need all those wishes 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am happy that your friend is recovered and that you are both there for each other! 🙏🙏 Thankfully, you have a good village!! 🙂
        I guess you are right that now you are closer to the city you are a known face again! At least to that twisted mind. Gahh. Words fail me for some people!

        Keep well Trisha and I hope that you can manage a weekend as good as last week!!! 🙏🙏🤞🤞

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I have a wonderful village of amazing people ❤️ some are like family ❤️ not blood but I create ❤️

        No when I was in the city – he is not – so he don’t know anyone in big city … I was able to grow there

        And my team is fierce type protective so I was always safe ❤️ so I grew 🙌

        Found my people and found my power 😘✌️

        It is when I came back to my town to run the one here … he is here … and normally I stay quiet … but lately I draw attention – making name and gathering people …

        He literally does not want to see me do well and wants everyone to believe I am him… everything he does bad he lies and says is me … he always did that – that’s nothing new

        The lies he told about me could not be true if I succeed … so he just trying to crush to make himself look good and look right

        So whatever – I really don’t care what he says

        I do still fear him and want nothing to do with him.

        But he does wanna make sure I suffer for leaving so whatever. Better than being with him … I am out and I am free ✌️… well until courts allow him to abuse again!! Probably over and over

        I still have wonderful life and wonderful people … he can do his worst – still not gonna fail or be crushed … I didn’t make it through so many things to have some asshole satan take me down

        Had a wonderful show tonight and enjoyed watching daughter 👏❤️

        She has another show tmrw night which I drop her off for…

        I have to mow lawn, do laundry and clean lol

        And then Sunday we are going over the house of my friend I have been helping… Monday is her bday 🎂 so gonna spend some happy time with ❤️👏

        So whatever. I hate him, he can burn in hell while I levitate 😘✌️

        Liked by 1 person

      3. So glad you are remaining positive and focused on the good in your life! I am pleased your Friday ended with such a wonderful surprise and that you have Sunday and Monday to look forward too! I daren’t say enjoy today as who the heck enjoys chores! 😉
        Keep smiling and rising Trish! 🙂 🙂 🤗🙏

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Well he’s always gonna be a huge negative in my life – so he just is all about hurt and pain… so whatever

        I have built incredible life on my own

        He wants to take his time and energy to think about me and how to destroy – then whatever … been there done that

        Not first time.

        So I’m just gonna soak in all the amazing life moments and deal with him as he comes at me

        I don’t have prayers here because I don’t trust the system. So ya know Què sarà sarà

        I have one of those “wonderful lives” with wonderful and dear people…

        So ya know – how much can he really hurt me now?

        He can’t steal my sunshine ☀️ anymore 😘❤️👏

        Yes Friday was amazing 👏👏🌹

        Yeah I gotta get my ass outside and do that lawn 😮 😝

        Btw is super mega hot! Just saying lol ✌️😘

        Have a wonderful weekend 😘

        Liked by 1 person

      5. 😄😄 We are in spring … we going up and down… tmrw (Monday) be 93 🥵

        But by Friday 76 😮

        Lol – crazy drunk weather this year … 2023 is year of insane weather

        Can’t decide what it wants 😬😄✌️wants to be all crazy lol

        Is your weather not crazy?? 😮

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Woah that is a big difference in just a few days!
        Thankfully, our weather seems settled into normal summer mode now. 🤞 I have probably just hexed it and it will be wet, grey and stormy for the rest of the month! 🙄🤣

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Well … I am getting very used to battling satan

      I just don’t like battling and want him to just leave me alone.

      I’ve had enough already!!! I really hate him ☹️

      It will be fine, I have my kids and my village of my people ❤️

      I’m just still afraid so we see 🙏🙏🙏

      Liked by 1 person

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