On a hot ass Saturday
Only supposed to be 109 today 😮 I’m supposed to do stuff but I don’t want to – I will burn 🔥 I would like to NOT be cooked 🥘 😮
Be dripping sweat and turn all red (possibly purple if too much 😮) and dotted with freckles all over the redness.. Omg … too much for me is like 5 minutes … “Irish” 🙄😐
It also makes my hair really light and also lightens my eyes 😮 …the sun PLUS heat, is massive for me in temps that are insane! I am Irish!!! So that can be a thing if too much – is the heat… the sun I love … but the 2 together is brutal!!! ☀️ 🔥
And I certainly don’t wanna bubble – if you do not know what that is … consider yourself lucky
Anyway…
I will burn 🔥😮
😮 I’m supposed to do stuff – but I don’t want to. I think I will clean inside instead … and hello electric bill … ahhhh!
But yeah – so I think I will NOT do stuff outside today
I do not want to sizzle and burn 🔥 I am already pinky, dotted and lightened enough!
So yeah I think I will stay inside and clean
I am also little overwhelmed with someone I do not know well… I dunno 🤷♀️
So … I do try to save the world if I am able… little pieces at a time ✌️
So you know, if someone needs help I can direct them – either to resources or enjoying life 😁 … and I never want to have people suffer – ever!!
I also love to help … I have empathy and compassion
Having said that…
I know who am, I know my place and where I fit, I know what I can do… and what I can’t – I know my areas ❤️… mostly … but obviously I’m human – so there may be “moments” I question strength or abilities 😮 I think I can do everything, but then I can’t or question
Also I know my own mental health and what can handle and what I can not handle… I have to keep my own balance also 🧘♂️
I can not do heavy – I do not have the capabilities to be ok with heavy. I can do grief and be empathetic or compassionate – but I am not equipped to handle major mental health issues
I referred to a medical professional that could absolutely help… they didn’t take
Then said they were going to get help… I was supportive and said is right decision 👏 remember … I don’t know this person well … very distant acquaintance
The next day I said “good luck today, you can do this!“
And they said …they don’t know what they’re doing 😐
Ok
Well I can’t do heavy – too much over my head – professionally that is above my training 😮 … and personally – I can’t go heavy and dark on my off time 😮
I can show you how to be alive (in an old nerdy way but whatever) ✌️
But with me – currently I only have moments … work is always heavy … and my own life has its devastating and hard moments …
So I can’t go down a heavy pressure situation … I can be supportive and caring, helpful in direction… but I can not take on heavy – I’m sorry – I can’t 😮
And then … I woke up this morning and had TONS of messages … what?
Work was fine and quiet … but suddenly people missing me all at once … and then that … and then I can’t “people”
Easy does it
Pressure – too much all at once – no no!
So I dunno 🤷♀️
I just have moments …and I don’t want to have them be dark and heavy. Life brings that all on its own – I need my sunshine and I need brightness 🔆 😮
🔆… I am ?? Hmmm 🤔 a mix of these songs :
(Just quietly – I don’t need fame or my name in lights – but my actions.. I hope …help others 🙏 so impact – so yes … I wanna live forever 😘)
But I am also human and have to know my own boundaries to be ok 😮😮
I survive and cope with laughter and good things if possible … cause life hits me too hard otherwise
I don’t want to be pulled down heavy – I can’t… and I feel guilty … I barely hang on myself and I have enough darkness in life
I am quirky and upbeat and funny … I balance the heavy I have myself … is how I cope
Is who I am
I am bright with light so… I can enjoy life with you … and can help direct how to enjoy ❤️
But I can not take on someone else’s massive issues if they do not try to help self… but I do feel bad and guilty… I am not in mental position of my own to handle darkness in that way 😮 I try to help … but I can’t go under so ya know 😮
You can come levitate with me – yes 🙌
I am not a darkness person – definitely light 😮 but I feel bad … I give many resources but is seriously above what I am ok with or can do 😮
Ok well anyway …
If you could pick… ok wait … let me rephrase … if YOU HAD TO pick a hearse… would you pick black or white ?
I am polling my area… but I am also bit curious what my area vs the world be like… classic black or heavenly white? 😮
What if you HAD to pick? Your choice would be what??
Ok well … I’m gonna do inside stuff because it’s “109” degrees!! 💥
😮 – I do have things at home that need to be done too … so that’s fine – motivated but not overly
Going to try to do stuff before is too hot to move 😮😳
Learning Life 
Black hearse…traditional.
Do NOT feelbad about not being able to help, or even motivate, someone with heavy issues! That’s why pros exist. And, as you’ve experienced a big part of the problem is their unwillingness to seek real help. In my experience, there’s an issue of them thinking no one can help, or meds win’t help, or they’re fine and it’s the rest of the world that’s screwed up. They’ll quickly pull you down if you’re not careful! The hardest thing I did, pre Joel, was realizing it wasn’t my job to “fix” my first boyfriend and to walk away. Thank gobs I did… he has been in therapy & on a variety of meds for about 40yrs and is still mentally messed up.
I have an online friend who CLEARLY needs therapy & meds but they’llnever ever get them. Total denial.
I get it… I resisted help too. I didn’t believe in antidepressants till I actually toom them and then… whoa, wow, I really was chemically unbalanced!!
Sorry you’re not down here – we had another day of reasonable weather. At least you’re running a/c and doing indoor stuff. I’m still on my bed, doing nothing. I feel better, and clearer, off my meds but motivation didn’t magically return!
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Yes – they are very heavy and very needy and I don’t know them 😮 is way over my head.
I can lead them to good resources to help – that actually help…
But it’s almost as if just needs constant attention and won’t actually seek help or do anything
I just don’t have the mental capability myself to take on someone I don’t know with severe heavy
But I do feel bad, I do want them to be ok – it’s just they have to want that when they are ready … they have to make that choice.
And I just can’t get pulled down so severely like that – my own mental health will suffer
I can be supportive and helpful – but I can not do for them
I can make life not feel so heavy … but I can not take on heavy 😮😮 I know what I can and can not handle
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Be smart and accept that they will probably never follow any advice/help, no matter how much they say they want it!
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Yes – I do… I am big hearted but also quirky in own right – I have to watch my mental health so I don’t go silent and heavy makes me go silent so I just can’t
They are aware of who am and what able to help with – I make that very clear
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Not everyone can be helped Trisha.
I had a friend a few years back and she was a mental drain on my energy, she was always negative and l tried to help her and her brother, but the pair were too negative and pulled me down. So after five years of trying, l finally walked away, best thing l ever did. It cost me their friendship, but sometimes you just can’t help some people because they DONT want to be helped.
If l had to choose a hearse, it would probably be black, because white would be in people’s faces and l don’t wear white in life – ever, l am certainly not going to be driven anywhere in white in death.
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Yes… we have tried to help and not have negative … but constantly goes negative and then doesn’t follow through on anything she says … don’t tell me that then
Is exhausting and above what I am able to help with. I recommended counseling and gave information from some contacts I have – even reached out FOR them and didn’t take
Then said would get help and decided not to, but they seriously need help!!
And I can’t cause I have my own heavy sometimes and need a balance … and her heavy way over my head.
I am not trained for her level 😮 I’m good, but not that good
I’m not sure if is constant attention seeker?
Even with white being heavenly? Nice white ride to the pearly gates?
Or the classic mourning black?
Hey if you ever gonna draw attention – why not when you leave? 😉
I like the classics too… black is my personal preference
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My ex friend l think liked being a woe is me victim, they both did she and her bro. I tried motivating, inspiring, coaching, listening, advising, offering assistance, bringing therapist advice to them. One therapist turned to me and basically said ‘they prefer to be down than up, best to leave be and walk away’, so l walked.
I like to see the black numbers from little black dresses to hearses, so l guess l am old fashioned 🙂
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I’m not really sure what ALL her issues are … but she needs some serious help. She is definitely unbalanced.
Way too much for me to fully take on – I am not trained for that severe – and of course I need to watch my ownself too
Yes – me too – I prefer the classic black too 🖤 … also old fashioned
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Old fashioned is not bad as long as it is fitting for today.
Yes, with mental health and other people we always have to be mindful of our own capabilities.
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