Radioactive ☢️

I am a day behind myself because there was no Monday 😮

I was on the meeting this morning and I said the end of the week – Wednesday Thursday, & Friday… will be very busy… and they say “you mean starting tmrw?” 😮😮😮 I lost an entire day!! Lol … then yea, I mean tmrw because I was thinking it was a Monday 😮

https://youtu.be/R4xf50aUxaE

Makes a shortly week – but I forgot all about that 😮

I did have wonderful weekend ❤️

On Saturday, I spent time with my girls – made that vegan Potato salad and everyone loved it – it did actually taste like normal potato salad 😮

They are so funny ❤️ we ate and told stories and laughed and laughed 😄👏 I enjoy them very much!

My kids also all came over and we ate and spent time together ❤️ also enjoy them very much ❤️

On Saturday night … the local baseball team set off fireworks at about 9:15pm … and Mr. Doby lost his shit!!! 😮😮 😳

I know animals do freak out for fireworks… I have had a lifetime of chihuahuas and none of them cared about the fireworks lol 🤷‍♀️

Doby was not alive last 4th of July… he was born July 16th ❤️ (a day after my moms bday) – but he missed them last year…

And then maybe new years he still too young – but didn’t overly bother him – he didn’t really notice…

But Saturday night boy 😮😮 dude was losing his shit – he went on massive protection mode trying to be all tough and fierce and thinking someone shooting up house or something – I don’t even know 🤷‍♀️ but he COULD NOT handle his shit Saturday night 😮 … for 15 minutes while it occurred and then about 5/10 minutes after cause he was all upset lol… awww ❤️❤️ I have never experienced a pet like that so that was interesting

I have heard others experiences, but that was my first time experiencing a freak out for fireworks 😮 so alright then – 4th of July will be a thing this year then 😮😳 {{ things to prepare for 😳 }}

https://youtu.be/aXgSHL7efKg

Then I was able to catch up with cleaning house and bills 👏

I also catch up on sleep 😴 ❤️… and outside yard work 😝

When I first met my neighbor he looked me up and down and then said “you do not at all look like the type who does yard work”

At first I was like – HA! I will show you 😄😄

But then I realized – ya know what, perhaps that vision is correct … I get all hot and dirty and then things chase me 🐝, plus it hurts… I can’t do a lot with my chest – so I am limited here and there

It takes me the amount of time the grass grows to recover and then I have to do it all over again 😝

Artificial grass is looking mighty good lol … no hassle, always beautiful, very little work – of course it’s expensive so I don’t lol … but I’m just saying – I would not mind artificial grass 👏

Oh yeah and Doby always HAS to be with me, god forbid I go outside without him 🙄 … he thinks the lawn mower is some game so I have to also dodge him or distract him 😑🙄

I’m sure we are quite the sight 🙄🫥

I asked my neighbor something about MY lawnmower and he says “well what does the manual say?” 😄😄 … oh yeah well I guess I could read that – yeah that’s right – I’m one of those … unless it’s got a million pieces and you are assembling something, I do not generally read instructions lol … what you mean I can’t just throw together and have it work normal? Lol 🤷‍♀️

So whatever was simple question that I can not figure out – so fine 🙄 … I will turn to the manual

At work today I got a new keyboard – because my old one was driving me bananas 🍌… I would type and it would take 5 minutes before it decided to recognize my strokes 🤨

https://youtu.be/69fPof-ZTnU

Ok well I do not have time for a temperamental keyboard – are you gonna work or not? So I could not take it anymore – I even replaced batteries to no avail – whatever bye 👋 replaced

Now is like having a keyboard on a cloud ❤️ oh the keys always register the strokes right away and it’s just awesome 👏 yay!!!! 🎈 I love it!

Someone made me laugh today because of this theme song :

https://youtu.be/yg1Cx26-928

I can’t tell you the story – but was very funny 😄❤️👏 … took me a minute to remember what was from … I knew was from 70’s and some kinda cop show (I knew was one my parents watched lol )

Wow brought me right back to being little girl lol – the story was funny and to hear that again and in the context put was also funny 😄👏 I wish I could share ❤️ but that’s all I can say ✌️

I’m a little quiet … I’ve been thinking … because of Satan. It just makes me want to be silent but out of fear, so how do I stop that? I don’t know yet – but we see

Country boy said hi to me this weekend, but he always does for holidays or special occasions.

Military still tries to see every so often – but I just can’t – I am not ok with how he wants or expects me to be – or anyone else for that matter and he is hard core republican and ya know I can’t and there are many reasons – I can’t

I want a nice peaceful chill happy life – I give that to self so… if you can’t also do that – that’s a deal breaker lol … and I don’t want to be manipulated or move fast … you have to be so careful cause I came out of hell – so I am on high alert 🚨

However – I do lay my shit out right from start – here’s my shit – if you can deal “great” – if not – I’m not your girl 😘✌️ I am not dealing with BS or anything else – so here I am – AS IS …

I also can not hold up someone else’s mental health … I can be there for you and give support and help you forget the pain in life … but I can not hold you up unless you are already happy and confident. I can not take on all your pain on my shoulders, I can not handle pressure – I am not mentally equip to handle massive pressure – why would I want that? I want to enjoy life and be alive for it 😘

Yeah I’m not going back to hell thank you 💋

https://youtu.be/l482T0yNkeo

So anyway…. I was thinking 🤔 … cause in Sacramento I grew and I was able to forget all about satan and ignore all that / I don’t like to deal with it anyway. I have severe panic attacks with it. So I just worked hard and no one knew me there and I could be who am ❤️

But now I am back in town and still owning it so now is drawing attention- and he never wants me to do ok without him so he can continue to say what a horrible person I am… and be right

When married to him – I was quiet 🤐… and I didn’t know anyone cause he made having friends really impossible.

So at first he told people all kinds of things about me that were not true – but so he could feel better about his ownself and get sympathy or whatever

Whatever – he’s a loser – not a man

And he continues to preach anything bad he can about me… whatever …

Now I have people and I am also stronger than I was then

https://youtu.be/AJWtLf4-WWs

I miss next Monday also because of Satan

So we see – I don’t trust anything – not the lawyers, not the courts – nothing – I trust nothing!! Broken ass system, hurtful programs, yeah I trust nothing in this area.

https://youtu.be/ru3gH27Fn6E

So whacha want Asshole? I don’t know what he’s up to – just that I’m sure he’s been hearing my name.

Yeah bitch cause I’m happier and better now without you – how’s that shit feel?

https://youtu.be/WZxKcqI41CQ

https://youtu.be/2Cq5IzaoJoc

I don’t think I consider that song gospel? Lol … but I do think it fits – I can’t wait til one day he leave my life … I wish he was out of my life but he will never leave me alone as long as I do well and survive … he thought he could crush me and he didn’t ❤️👏

https://youtu.be/SgM3r8xKfGE

😘✌️❤️

He will never have my soul or my spirit ✌️ but sometimes when he comes back it makes me feel fear 😧… so we see how stronger I got 😳🙏

He can’t really hurt me anymore but I put nothing past him and don’t trust the government for ANY help. I don’t trust the courts – no one in this area – I trust no one here – so that is where my fear comes in 😮😮

So we see

https://youtu.be/z5rRZdiu1UE

But we will see … because you know I am a little stronger … but I haven’t faced him in awhile so we see – the peace has been amazing ❤️ I can’t even put into words ❤️ … so ok … satan again huh? Alright then – that’s next Monday. – so we see

https://youtu.be/ktvTqknDobU

I could probably not care if I trusted the system to be fair or just – but I do not so … I can be radioactive all I want – but what does that matter in a broken system – so I still fear – but we see ✌️

Also, I need to be aware of my attention – I forgot about that. I remember now.