It will NOT stop raining – it just pours the boring rain… but we have flooding everywhere!! We are water logged already!! Rivers are rising fast!
That forecast is from last night – I am in the foothills areas with the massive rain 🌧️ 😮
Omg just constant rain patter!
So much water!!
Ok so… ugh so much … I never know where to start?!
So military has been taking me to dinner and meeting people … which is fine…
I am seeing and getting to know who he is as person – I like him… he makes me laugh and he’s very proactive lol … but he is go go go all the time
And sometimes he says things that ?? I don’t know?
Ok first things first… I do enjoy being around him, he is awesome and still very romantic and heartfelt. Sorta
Yes he is romantic and full of life… he is heartfelt cause we will talk and he has emotions.
But I feel that if you love someone – you love them as they are… period.
I mention to him that I have been through alot… and my job is very heavy… I work hard and am proud of self. Is not easy… I pour all my energy into my kids and work.
I tell him I am probably boring and I am quiet and low key… just quiet
And when I said that to him – he said, well I’m hoping to fix that for you
Ok wait. Cause what if I like that? What if I need that. what if I want that?
I’m not too sure about too much life ?? I do not know how much I can handle? Or want to?
I have life – but I also have death … and with everything been through I am tired so … I want to love life peacefully ?
And I accept someone as is… who they are ? I don’t think about what I can fix or change ?
Also… he has not seen my world… I only see his to know who he is… but he has not seen my world.
I am very different.
My people are unique as well ❤️❤️ … all the women are very beautiful ❤️ and we all have really hilarious personalities lol ❤️ … some are bulldogs … some are quiet like me… some are spooky lol … they are all amazing … they all very different ❤️
Make me laugh and smile daily ❤️ … where I have fit … they have heart ❤️ … you have to for the job
Anyway – I am going to need to heal and be at my own pace with my own things.
I am not going to be able to handle pressure from personal life … I love to enjoy life moments in general and then once in awhile – usually in spring and summer – I like to do fun things lol
Not so much in winter, but I am doing things to see who he is- I’ve giving my time – I don’t mind hanging watching tv or talking over dinner and all that… I like that… but I am not a go out all the time person at all!! 😮 not in slightest!
I have brought up my peace and quietness several times … my personality is full of life wonder … but my world is peaceful
Also… I am quiet and listen to his stories and how his life is… I don’t speak of mine much – here and there about my family but very vaguely with bad stuff
Ya know… it’s gonna be too much. So why revisit? I have my life nice and peaceful and somewhat balanced.
I can not do if you think you can fix or change me ? I can not do if I think you will crush my spirit or not let me be me?
Yesterday… one of my people had a phone call from someone … who was upset about a car in the parking lot … because this vehicle had a bumper sticker that said “my body, my choice”
Ok well we all have freedom of speech and hello this is America 🇺🇸?? Are we not land of the free?
Well they were offended by the bumper sticker on the car … ok well is not a violation
But they said if they had seen that they would not have chosen us.
Ok but again they have freedom of speech and we are open to all… no matter beliefs or personal opinions
Anyway… in same terms I do not want to be told how I should be or what I can do.
So I am cautiously watching…
We see how he does with my people 😮
Ugh and that’s another thing … I am doing a lot of things … but I do miss the downtime peace for my soul.
My boss wanna come out tonight and might stay over … plus him… plus my kids.. plus 2 other couples – omg so many people and we flooding – I don’t know whats happening … shit show? 😮😮 lord help me lol
I kinda yearn for the peace and quiet in the living room with Doby and kids ❤️
I am not a go out person 🤷♀️
But I can for little while just not all the time.
So I don’t know if he thinks I am someone I am not… I don’t mind melting together but I can’t just not be who am and I am not sure what I can actually handle ??
I can’t be go go go… so that will never happen. I am not gonna kill myself … so no.
I do not like having to be “on” all the time. I like being boring and having peace
I will do stuff but just I need time to melt into someone and I can’t just melt into their world… I have a world too.
So if he is truly heartfelt and does like how he says he does … I am either going to be a love or a lesson 😮
So we see
Omg 2023 gonna kill me 🤦♀️
I do not fit into a mold nor will I be ok conforming into something I am not or being told how I need to be … sorry no ✌️
Ok well Happy New Years Eve!!! 😮 I probably be back next year lol 😘✌️ – god willing 🙏