Ok so… my entire life just got on the rollercoaster 🎢 …
So… I have someone in my life who I completely adore and respect and think is brilliant…
To me… he is funny … he is type A personality… total perfectionist … which is fine … I am too sometimes… not type A… but I can be perfectionist with some things.
I love chatting with him – I do find him delightful and he’s kind and generous. Very knowledgeable
But what if everyone else tell you different?
What if you know him for few years and he’s always been amazing? To YOU?
I have never seen what the people say ??
So you gonna have to help me think… because my mind is warped in this area … I have been subjected to abuse so… I am very empathetic so I understand the reasons people do things … anyway…
Why would only be nice, kind and amazing to me? And is he? When with me, yes – but what about behind back?
No there is no way he’s interested – for sure
I have always trusted, he’s quite brilliant.
So I do not see the things they say…. But I have red flags 🚩
I don’t trust people – and I don’t put anything past anyone!! I am not sure if is blinding me to antics? I don’t know?
You know how people will say something and something they say triggers a memory of them from another time? And you know how sometimes that can be puzzle pieces and you can start to see a picture?
We are all VERY familiar with the saying “hindsight 2020” so I don’t know?? I am trying to see clearly but I don’t know?
Hmm… that makes me very nervous. Is very very kind and good to me… I have a gut feeling but the empathy gets in my way!! Like I am not sure if playing me? Because was little odd – I had feeling something off? Calling me and texting me, which is not abnormal but I distanced for long time – I just keep quiet … I just do “me” and my thing
But some people when want something or are manipulating do that? So I don’t know 🤷♀️
Was really sweet and kind to me literally recently
So I almost feel like – it turns my attention away from any fires ? Cause I do enjoy his convos he’s very brilliant … I respect him and think the world of him … but …
I don’t know? So many fires with others but not me and covers all of it very well… that’s the feeling I am getting 😮
It’s not just one person saying to me. And it’s not little things. People will show you what they want you to see – heed my warnings!!
But then – I think… no, he is upstanding citizen – I am his friend – or so I think?? I am not sure
Who is this?
And this is why is good to be quiet/distant and see who people are. 🤫 always watch your guard!!!
See you take the time – you really know someone. Patience is a virtue 😘✌️
Also… If I want the job close to home – it’s mine… I have to talk to boss – and also – I don’t care what you think but I am loyal … I can not with good conscience leave my boss in lurch so … I will mention and explain and we see.
I will not be able to sleep just letting them explode – I can’t
I am transparent so I was already honest with this.
Now I just have to talk to boss 😳☹️ I hate to leave because I love my boss! Very much – incredible boss! Honored to work under so … that kinda gets me.
I like the other boss too – but I am loyal to MY boss
Also loyal to self – but I can’t just leave and watch the explosion – oh I can not do that. That is not the right thing to do. Trust me it’s not. I respect my boss way too much. Always has my back and is supportive.
However … the way the other one is run is different ?? Maybe not as insane?
We see? 😮 I am nervous
I just be honest. Bleh makes me feel sick- I wish I could take my people with me
I also would have to tell my staff ☹️💔
They will understand but that’s gonna be rough
So – my hearts gonna get torn – they my second family… I am with them on the daily lol
And will be more change 😮 omg
I was talking about that to someone today … how I used to live in 1985 just little while ago – all nice and tucked away in peace ❤️ … and then I move to new house and come into 2022 … I miss my version of 1985! Lol
It feels weird to be in 2022 🤨 cause it wants to keep changing everything!!!
I haven’t told many people I have house… I stay very quiet … I speak to girlfriend tonight and she doesn’t know – I don’t want to say.
This is the one that tells others about me, which I don’t like, so I don’t really say anything – she just tells me all her stories lol
Her life is crazy… really really crazy – it sounds unhappy, but then she say she is happy. So ok.
No WAY I could have that for my life – no way in hell or gods green earth!! Nope!!
If I told you – your jaw would be on floor lol – just no … it’s way too crazy. You would be like ? Wtf? Americans 🙄 lol … no no just her lol
I’m kidding – but maybe slightly because I could not live her life at all. Too much!! Nope
But yeah – I don’t like her telling people what’s up with me… I am very very private so. I don’t want any problems … so I just be quiet – it’s better that way.
No one knows nothin! Nada… zilch 😘✌️only closest people I trust are who know things
See … this is why country is better for soul… because it was just peaceful without so much people drama. I am not good with people drama
I do not like that.
I like peace alot ✌️😘
I like to be quiet.
So… rollercoaster lol 🎢 … why life?? Why you gotta keep teaching me lessons??? Ugh let me be
Enough – I know everything lol – I’m kidding – I know nothing
But I am sooooo tired of people lessons!!! Can we not do that? I’m good on those lessons – stay away – got it!! 👍
It is hard to be around people – I feel their emotions and then at same time I trying to see who are.
People are ALOT!!
My mind has a million thoughts 😮😮
So I dunno
Oh yeah and Monday with the red hair thing… I dunno 🤷♀️… ya know… whatever
Guys are just rude… was 2 people I have to deal with from city and one ask me if I am “true” red head 🤨
Ok first of all – rude – that is inappropriate – why you asking? What is your purpose for asking me that? That sounds suspiciously dirty 🤨 should not be asking me that! And no I did not answer, I am joker and then I change subject lol ✌️ 💋 you can not defeat me lol – I am master of avoidance 🙌 lol
I am not answering that – why you ask me that?! What is purpose??
So I don’t like that either – rude
It’s just been a week!! I wanted it to go fast but now I want it to slow down
Ok so … I need the rollercoaster to hurry up with the drop omg bracing 😮