Hmm… well what to say?

So it’s time to leave death.

The work life balance is not good and it explodes for preventable reasons every year – corporation and management issues.

The job itself I love ❤️ … but the crap I do not…

I also have amazing coworkers who are like a family to me ❤️ I hope to keep them ❤️

Some I do not and are nothing but 2 faced and do not care about families. I’m tired of bullshit and I’m not playing games

The commute is also really hard and I am not loving like I used to?? I want to love what I do and still have life lol … I want to be closer to home

It’s time. So I was doing that this weekend.


And then guess who text me today 😮

No it actually was not “I love you man” lol – although I have not even had the time to handle that. Not to mention stress level.

It was country boy? So I don’t trust his motives.

He texts me every couple months or on special holidays to say “Happy/Merry whatever holiday… and then asks me if I doing ok 🤨

So what do want? Why care and why contact me? State your purpose.

I responded back because what is this?

I don’t know if he checks to see if I change my mind – which I do not… I know what I want and isn’t a lot to ask so if can’t do then what is purpose?

I do actually give him time of day because …

When my family was dying off and I was going through cancer… he would pick me up and take me to do things or to places that took my mind away from what was really going on.

For moments he gave me peace ❤️❤️

So I always tell him thank you and I will always take his texts or calls

I think he just wants to be my friend ??

Which would also be weird … because we literally are completely different – not one thing in common

So why??

I don’t know whatever

I suppose I can be friend. He was always there taking me away from death or cancer ❤️ so if he needs anything yes – I be there.

Sometimes i wonder if he does that to make me think of him? Keep him on my mind… just as I move forward … this is how he reminds me.


Hmm 🤔

So not sure with him. My mind does not change on this … and I am not a Trump’er… I’m really girly

He is completely opposite of ALL that. So what purpose?

I can be friend …but there is also a fire 🔥 … so I don’t want him near me with that fire. Sorry but no ✌️ yes fire for sure … so nope… I don’t even want to be tempted – nope

Every time he texts I feel something / and I do not like he knows that. 🤨 cause of this…

What’s your motive?

Oh and I was telling someone how we were different and things and I said “ I am soft and he is hard”

And they said to me … I only know what you mean by soft because I know you… but normally when a woman is soft – that means she is needy

😮😮😮 I did not know that 😮😮😮 to me a soft woman is something completely different 😮😮

Funny how that is huh? Different meanings for same things? 😮😮

And then also this weekend other languages came up to be a thing…

Guess which country was the accent in question lol … was Ireland 🇮🇪 😮❤️❤️❤️

We talking to someone in Ireland for ship-out.

And then that made me think …

We have to SERIOUSLY pay attention, completely, to understand the English they speak … because accent sooooo thick… absolutely love it ❤️❤️❤️ … but we seriously have to pay attention lol

But anyway, am just curious

What do I sound like to someone else speaking English from another country? Does someone from Ireland have to pay attention to MY words, like I do to theirs? Even though both speak English? Heavy heavy Irish accent ❤️❤️❤️ I want to hear her talk all day long ❤️

Well I have to get to bed, I’ll talk more later / we run late tonight and all weekend 🤨

Good night 😘 😴 💤🌙 ❤️

15 thoughts on “What?

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    1. Ah well ya know, life kinda throws things at you sometimes. Just the way life works.

      It will be fine and I usually enjoy life anyway in general?

      I went through worse so it’s not bad in that way… just heavy because of issues and things. I can’t solve ALL 🙌 the problems 😑 … and I do have this thing where I just need to be silent for minute to absorb and adjust?

      And anything else – I just am really careful with people because of things, and I am careful who comes around me… so… just guarded there – that I can totally handle lol

      I am curious with accents though lol …

      I don’t think of accents with writing ✍️… everyone is same ❤️ … sometimes I have to Google translate …but still when I see what they say I still do not consider accent lol

      So like you… you are French so you must have accent lol – I bet it’s really cool! 😎

      I just don’t think of your words (or anyone’s) with ANY kind of accent

      Accents are really cool though lol … I just don’t imagine them when reading usually (unless I am reading a book to a child then yes maybe I do accents if is called for with characters lol) 😘✌️

      I only think of if something draws my attention to it lol … like Ireland lol ❤️

      Now I am thinking of accents lol “curiosity” ✌️

      I actually have happiness ❤️ I am free, alive, made it through hell, have incredible people in my life, have confidence, am strong and just happy ❤️ I know how lucky I am to be alive… and I do love life and things very much so – happiness is not any kind of issue – even if I am sad … I know the secret to happiness lol 💋

      I don’t have to chase happiness

      Is only peace that I chase lol 😘✌️

      So my path to peace ahead 🙌❤️

      Lol … thank you ❤️ I always think I am being safe – but that didn’t work out so well, when I took time off lol

      Eh… 💪 but I beat it so ya know – kinda Wonder Woman lol 😘❤️ totally kidding, but maybe lol 😉

      I am always safe ✌️

      Stay safe too 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I will ❤️ thank you for the confidence 🙌

      I do always find things that aid with ?? Me?

      Like when I worked on golf course – I stayed far away from men and alcohol … but that wasn’t happening with that job – I was front and center with both – lol you wanna talk attention 😮 so yeah that taught me how to handle it and since management was supportive – I had confidence always

      Then I had worst moments of my life and after finishing cancer … I was kinda numb? Just sad – all of it, not just the cancer, was huge hits.

      I kinda felt dead? Or just really beat up. Exhaustion

      But then I got a job at a school with other peoples kids and those kids made me feel life again ❤️ they brought me back from the dead and shined light in my life – their energy, their brightness 🔅

      They make me feel special every day and made me laugh and I had a special cool nickname ❤️

      But they brought me back to life – then Covid took away …

      So I needed to work through MY pain and I knew I needed something that was going to let me be around people experiencing same so I could relate – I needed that.

      So funeral home was perfect ❤️ I got to relate and I advanced ahead… became stronger

      I am also always afraid of losing my mom ☹️ … so I THOUGHT it would help me to be ready

      Not really how it works … I neglected to figure in, that my mother IS my heart and so no matter how I prepare that’s still gonna rock me!

      But I have learned a lot about death and that industry

      Death does not scare me now. So that’s kinda bonus ✌️

      But every job I make a jump for… there is something that aids in my healing and growth lol

      Which actually makes me wonder where I need improvement lol – what should I aim for now?

      I always try to do right thing, so I don’t worry there.

      I guess I kinda worry because is change, just scary and what to expect ahead 😮 – and I’ve kinda melted into death? but every single step I take so far… is just better and better 🙌❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The beauty of life and you [universal] is diversity, choice and self-belief.

        When we believe in our ability we can see the diversity life offers us and make the right choices.

        I thinkyour mind combined with your eagerness to try something different will manifest itself for you in the new direction 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh yes – I am confident woman… I know I be fine.

        Is just for my own self, I am not sure with coming back. I really love peace so not sure if back to life is that. ✌️

        Liked by 1 person

  1. The only accent I’ve ever failed to understand was Scottish. Even in person, with ability to see lips, I couldn’t understand a thing!!

    I’m sorry it’s time to go but glad you figured it out with time to make plans and arrangements!! I hope you find something you love even more!!

    I spent last week thinking about a friend who left my life, popped back, then disappeared again – to my relief (good memories but eventually the frienship took too much work). Of course, they msg’d over the weekend… and implied I was the one who dropped off the face of the earth. Gah, that annoys me!! Which got me to reply and… of course… they’re gone again. Wtf??? Drunk emailing, perhaps??

    Liked by 1 person

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