Ok… I am doing good
Just thought I would pronounce that. But I am absorbing everything, so doing ok. And handled a ton of personal stuff today
I didn’t get a few things finished but whatever, I got most handled whew ok – so yeah doing good. Ish ✌️😘
One year ago … I would tease my daughter, while in the car, and play this song while only singing “dance in the living room” over and over and over lol 😄❤️❤️
Wow… one year… coming up
Ok so… the 2020’s … they seem bumpy but ok.
This is really hard though… because obviously I am not going to do well when anyone I love dies 🤨 … I thought I would be better?? Ya know, cause I’ve had that punch so much and also because at work I can feel the emotions however I am very calm strong and comforting ✌️
But if is someone twisted into my heart then no… I do not know how to do well.
I thought I am adjusted? to death now? Guess not
And ya know… everyone??? That’s literally everyone… well I have my brother and sister … but they are very very far
** also … hmm … we always lived far from family and there are reasons lol … those 2 don’t get along,
I am the oldest… I was the coolest lol 💋✌️ the most popular, the most social. Also the most goofy and playful – and most responsible
My brother … he became a stiff since he’s aged lol … I am teasing ❤️ I love him very much – he was the most dorky lol ✌️
He was a good kid.
But he did kinda morph into? Not fun lol … although he lets me be fun with him … he lets me tease him and he actually laughs lol ❤️ … that’s because I have all the dirt lol… I am the oldest ✌️😄 … not that dirt matters now lol – but it is funny
He’s just all grown up lol … he morphed into my dad. 😮
But I morphed into my mom? Although now I am morphing into myself mixed with her lol ✌️😘
My sister is a little more emo 🖤 like? She is a little pessimistic… she is a mix of both my mom and my dad
But she’s really funny – she is the most emotional, and you think I ride on heart?? You have not met her! Her heart is very sensitive
She always idolized me cause I was just very well liked always. I would take her places with me sometimes and we had fun – we did hilarious things even though she was 9 years younger than me.
She actually kinda lived in my shadow, pretty heavily… even with the family… in the family – I was the favorite – I had them all to myself for 5 years before the others came… so that is partly why.
And then also… when I grew up… my parents were young, full of energy, healthy… I had the best childhood!
I was the first. I’m the one who broke them in lol ✌️
So looking back on my childhood – mine is warm and wonderful – I smile to remember things ❤️ it was the best!!
But her childhood was different. Well first she was the baby… she was blonde cute and chubby lol
Only the very beginning of her life was like mine… when she was 9 when my dad got sick with non Hodgkin’s lymphoma …
I had left home early, because I thought I knew everything
And that was before it got really bad with his health, so ya know… then her life was doctors and hospitals and being afraid dad would die.
So ya know we are similar but different
Together you clearly see we sisters lol… she is taller than me… We have the same smile, the same mouth… same nose… our eyes are different … mine are colored… hers are brown. My hair has more red in it … hers is dark blonde no red. She tans … I am Casper
So little differences
We have same mannerisms lol… same laugh… similar voices… I can look at her and know what she is thinking. I can make her laugh with a look ❤️✌️
Me and my sister are thin… my brother used to be thin. ✌️ he has put on weight and lost his hair (life)
But yeah we are still siblings lol … and we will still fight … they do, not me!!! But I don’t like it … and I always have to be the peacemaker
So I will be in California lol … brother is in Texas… and sis in Maine – we visit … or we did. Now is just phone calls
But we love each other very very much ❤️
Dammit time always goes too fast for me!! I have to go to bed ✌️work tmrw.
I will catch up best on weekends when I do not work – otherwise I am very sporadic
Ok well good night 😘🌙 💤
Learning Life 
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