Evil

Alright so… I am still in thought somewhat… but here is what I am thinking…

I am almost free… I can almost be free of him.

I am not after money… only to survive – I was a stay at home mom… he lies and hides everything, buys trips to Disney, lavishes the kids – dangles money over their heads for their attention… he buys himself cars and homes and puts them in his mother’s name.

I was stay at home mom, he knows I don’t have the degrees and haven’t built a career – he knows he was the provider – he knows he has crushed me there…

He never has to answer to the courts for anything at all and still continues to come after me… I do everything the court requests and more. 21 year marriage. I do have proof of everything – but I don’t have money… just what I make from work and I need that to survive.

The lawyer says it will cost me money to go after him, and I don’t have that. He wins, he can have it all… if he wants to be less than a man after everything – then let him. One day karma will come

He can say whatever he wants, and obviously he does whatever he wants. The courts allow it because he is dirty and only out for pain. He has never ever been required to answer to the courts even when they put an order down – because I was fighting for my life, losing my family and I had no one fighting for me… I had a lawyer but he didn’t pay her and I couldn’t

I am almost free… I just want to walk away and be done with him.

Look what I survived through … I went through years of abuse with him… sometimes not knowing if he was going to kill me or not – talk about sleeping with the enemy. He was an alcoholic and cheater… so I am happy to be away from him with my life!

I also lost my family and went through cancer while he continued to come after me… I am the mother of his kids and I was a good wife and mother… I am still a good mother… how you treat anyone the way he has, I do not know. I would never even treat a stranger that way!!

But I am still standing, I am still alive – he did not kill me… and I may struggle right now… but I am strong and without him – only stronger… so let him try to crush me.

He will come after my daughter cause he wants to make sure I am fully crushed – it’s not the money … it’s my kids.

He also knows that is the one way to take me down is with the kids.

But… here’s the thing with that… they had that conversation with me that night and one thing that was said was …

He had been a horrible father their entire life, and now he’s being good to them.

Well I gave my whole life to them, putting them above myself… when they said that… I felt like it was all for nothing, my whole life. 💔

So… I needed some time to absorb and rethink… I will always truly love and be available to my kids always! I would do anything for them. I have always stood strong with them and for them.

They can make their own decisions and proceed how they feel is best for them – I know they are caught in the middle. I raised them with compassion and to love him, even through his faults. I raised them too good.

So whatever – I am almost free … I have gotten stronger through everything and I’m creating quite the world for myself ❤️ I am doing that!

Whatever he is giving to them currently – let him.

I just want to be done and move on with my life – which I am making quite amazing… in 3 years I stand pretty strong especially almost losing my life.

I will do better without him and every day I grow a little more.

Is sad to see these things are able to be done in a court of law and unless you have money- good luck. And if your ex is Satan (which is what he will always be to me) you just want to get away. I am tired.

I run in fear of him with everything… I am tired of that… so take what you will… and I will move on and have an amazing life without him in it.

I do worry about him taking my daughter … that still strikes fear cause I don’t trust the courts

He is currently trying to say my daughter is not safe with me from corona, because I work. I am safe and follow every precaution! Every single one always!!! When I am not working we don’t leave the house.. I even have her home schooled with little office area set up for her.

If anyone should be afraid of corona – it is me… I had cancer… he just wants to make sure I can not survive… if I don’t work, I won’t survive. And if I don’t work he comes after me… so what exactly you want me to do? It’s the only thing he really has to come after me with, but I also don’t put anything past him – he is bad.

I tell you he is Satan!! He makes up anything he can to make me seem like a horrific person, yet it is him. How does a father do that to the kids? It is out of vengeance – he won’t send over clothes or anything they need, nothing so that I struggle even more – he wants to cut me at the knees… I would have never done anything like that to him and I have NOT – but he continues and he won’t stop.

So at this point, I just want to be free of him – I am so tired

I listened to a Indian man speak about things he went through, it was on YouTube – but the way he saw life kinda touched me. When you have good karma – you just do… I have had many bad things happen in life – but my karma is amazing!!!

And while I am not rich in money… I am rich with people ❤️ I have really good general karma. It’s only Satan who creates drama which I am used to by now.

So like I said – I don’t have money to fight him so I can’t make him answer to anything… and I can afford too much with the lawyer / I had to borrow that money from my brother and my landlord – even though he is court ordered to pay legal counsel – this is trial so I guess that’s different ? And he hasn’t listened to the courts for anything all this time. Just how it goes – he is evil and will do anything for himself. I married wrong and I stayed too long. My fault. No other excuse

So let him be less than a man. I don’t know him any other way. Par for the course

I just want to be free and get away from him. Daughter has 5 more years … then I be even free’er!! ❤️🙏 he won’t have a hold to terrify me with

I know who I am, and I know how strong I am… I know who I am as a person and no one is going to change who I am or my morals unless it is for the better, not worse.

I will never be as bad as he is. I have never come across a more awful human being in my entire life. Let him deal with his own karma. I see him as less than a man, and also I see him as the human form of Satan.

I do not forgive him for anything he has done or tries to still do. Nope not happening— don’t even ask for it… not that I harbor any anger or whatever else… but he is now nothing to me at all… I just want away from him – I don’t want anything to do with his evil.

So anyway, still thinking – but that’s where I am right now. Just tired – I work very hard. ✌️

I am silent currently cause is heavy and I am rebuilding from scratch. Only to be bigger and better. One day… you watch – I be that Phoenix 🔥🦅🔥 ✌️

4 thoughts on “Evil

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    1. I hope so, he is exhausting!! Ugh!! 😩 he’s like umm what do you call it?? He is like a sadist!! I swear!!

      And yes one day I will , I am a little everyday! ❤️ I’m just slow lol… and he’s on my heels… but yeah I will ❤️

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you ❤️ … I am almost there, just a little longer 🙏 I am used to him by now… it’s just when I think he can’t be any worse – he always is … so that’s hard.

      I have prayed for him to leave me alone for a long time 🙏🙏🙏 I pray for sooner also!!

      Thank you very much for your kindness and support ❤️ appreciate very much!!

      I do have really good karma – like all the time… and people that come in my life have been amazing ❤️ I am very very rich in people ❤️that means a lot to me anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

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