Not in a rush

We are going to be doing this in stages. It’s too hot. I can feel my heartbeat through my skin 😮

104 🥵 cooking me!!

We gonna finish in a little while, need break from the heat. That sun is just beaming down!! All week will be this way 😳🔥

My weather apps all tell me we going to be setting record breaking heat this week… BUT on the weekend we fall back down to the 70’s 😳😮??? So that’s um different lol … what the hell California, make up your mind – are we in summer or not?

Later on …after we finish today – we might go to neighbors to go in pool for little while? We see? I didn’t get suits yet so my daughter will have to use one of mine and I will have to take the one she doesn’t pick – both pop me out too much but whatever is just the neighbors house – not a big deal.

My girlfriend called a few minutes ago … yesterday after eating we took a walk… some neighbor of hers saw us walking and called her to ask all kinds of questions about me today 🤨

She said he wants to know if I be interested possibly? 🤨

I don’t know this person at all – I don’t even know what they look like 😮 I know nothing about him… zip zero zilch

She knows how I am… she coulda just told him no…

She does not understand why I don’t want to date or why I am so protective. It’s just the way I am ok with, so she doesn’t have to understand it or like it.

I want to know a person and who they are first. I also feel is important they see who I am too. Attraction is not the only thing! If blinded just by that – there’s nothing there ✌️

I move slow and cautiously. And I still go through a lot of stuff… so that’s gonna be a solid no.

I know I am very hard in this area… I know that. I just need that hardness right now to feel secure and at peace? I really don’t feel secure trying to date anyone at this moment??

I told her to tell him no… thank you but not currently dating.

She called me back to tell me she told him no and then explained to him I am Pollyanna 🤨… a Pollyanna is someone who is all sweet and innocent – she felt it needed that explanation 🤨

Whatever … she can say or think or label whatever she wants … I was married forever, and I don’t feel like dating because that was rough and still is… that was/is hard to go through… I’m not doing that again. It’s gonna be what I want or nothing.

And another thing… she likes to talk about sex 🤨… I am very private in general … and with sex Oh my god! Only the person I choose to do that with, will know anything about that with me.

She however will speak very freely with it 😮 … ok ya know… not having that over here – so let’s not always talk about it lol

I am just busy handling things anyway. I have a lot going on.

I am very opposite of her which is why she calls me a Pollyanna and also because I always avoid men? She just doesn’t get it.

She won’t – cause it’s not her experience… she can hear my story, but to her it is not what she is familiar with, so she is not seeing through my eyes.

She is fearless with many things… where I have fear – she is fearless… where she has fear – I am fearless

But whew boy… the things she says lol … she pushes for me to just give someone a chance – but I’m just doing my thing right now though and I feel like those pieces will come together when they are meant to, if they are meant to.

I’m not in a rush at all!!! Why is this such a thing???

To her is a big deal… to me it is not …other than when she brings it up! But whatever

I believe we gonna do some more work … ugh is like hottest part of day right now!! I can still feel my heartbeat in my skin 😮

Maybe I will get wet in shower really quick before going back out… I think I’m gonna do that cause that sounds really good lol ✌️

This weekend I will be telling you it’s cold 😄😄✌️ fricken weather

10 thoughts on “Not in a rush

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  1. I used to hate that pressure to “get a man”! I’ve never been concerned about whether or not I had a mate. I also strongly believed I should meet someone through mutual interest, not through apps or a defined “quest”! But here I am… 57, single, and still no longer interested.

    Despite being a proudly sexual and sex-focused person (till menopause, when my interest in sex turned off like a light switch), I actually had very little sex in my life… it rarely met my expectations/hopes. Your first lover is supposed to be the worst… but 40yrs on, he’s turned out to have been my best!!

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    1. There IS a lot of pressure – why is it such a big deal?

      I’m not concerned either – I just wanna enjoy life and whatever happens happens – but at the same time – I like my caution. I am comfortable that way currently.

      I am a very sexual person too, but that is private to just me and however I decide.

      I was with my ex since I was 17 so … just completely different now 😳… I never had to even deal with this before, other than being hit on … but being married that never phased me – I avoided that then too, but I never had to deal with it – I used to just hold up my hand with the ring on it and it be done lol

      Now I have to deal with it. It’s a different side of the fence

      It’s crazy though Oh my god! And then that makes me back away even more!!

      And also.. people just show you what they want to show you … I’m going to need to be comfortable with who that person is. I don’t trust so I’m going to need to know them.

      I feel like when you take your time and figure out what is right for you, is better. And I feel more peace that way

      I just want to have peace with it either way it goes.

      I have not hit menopause yet. I will probably be slow with that too lol … i was slow starting out also lol ✌️😄

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      1. I’ve been lucky that menopause has been relatively minor for me. Started at 50. At 53 the “light switch” effect happened… lost interest in everything, no passion for anything… leaving me confused about what to do with my life and quite content to stay in bed all day every day… so it took 2 yrs to learn I had a curable autoimmune disease. Recovery (energy) lasted about 2 months… then back to meh. My hair thinning started at the same time. And now I have these 3am wakeups and Cymbalta is only managing my pain, not symptoms of depression. Nor the desire to KILL those fuckers with the explosives (just did another one).

        Why not wear a ring on your wedding finger? I feel like they don’t deter anyone anymore but if it helps…

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      2. Yeah I don’t know if I should look forward to or not lol … I don’t think my mom had a hard time with it? So should be ok?

        I could do the ring on finger – I already wear a few rings

        I have a children ring – with each child’s full name and birth stone on it – is small not large like how sounds – like how they write on grains of rice lol

        I also have my birthstone ring and then my Irish claddagh ring

        But I feel like I shouldn’t have to do that – and even when I had the ring it wasn’t a deterrent ALL the time 🤨

        I have thought about it though – I wonder how many women wear a wedding ring just as a deterrent ?

        That’s all packed away in my boxes. I will have to dig out if I am interested lol ✌️ that wedding ring has bad memories and things so I just locked it away.

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    1. Lol … is because of a movie with Haley Mills with that name.

      Thank you, lol … I just haven’t been corrupted by the world? Was sheltered alot and then went through stuff – so just how is.

      I don’t think is issue but I dunno maybe it is ?? lol ✌️

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    1. Hahaha yeah umm don’t really swing that way ✌️ but women are way less scary lol … perspective right? lol

      Oh wow so you get to enjoy some warmth! So funny you say heatwave for 70 and thank you for again Fahrenheit lol 🥰

      We breaking records over here, is like an oven outside!! But this weekend my heatwave will drop to same temps as you lol

      Like

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