Well… I guess life has come back… I appreciated the respite I had from everything – it’s about to all come back at me
First off … I have some hard stuff I am still fighting through – that’s about to come at me full force. I am still exhausted…
My ex is really brutal and I am afraid. But that’s what I have to deal with so – is what is… He just doesn’t let up – he only did during lockdown – but it’s coming back
I’m going to have to ask for mercy. I can not take always being terrified!! It’s exhausting, I need mercy from that – I definitely need mercy from that
And then … I get hit on ALOT! It’s a massive problem… not a little one… a massive one
That’s all coming back too ☹️
My daughter and I went to help a family who needed and asked for some assistance.
Well the neighbor next to the family hit on me, and some guy at the store we went to… it was constant all day
My daughter has to see guys hit on me! It’s always a thing! Even when my kids are with me – it doesn’t stop… (although with my oldest… he looks like a man… so people just “assume” he’s my man lol – I do not get hit on when he is with me 😄❤️ the bonuses of having a man child ✌️😄)
And then my girlfriend recently posted some photo of her and me… which I do NOT allow and didn’t know about until she told me “tonight” and many of her guy friends are asking all about me – it’s this whole big thing
I don’t like my photos posted – or shown or anything. I’m very very private – just quiet – want peace
Ugh is coming back. All of it.
I did enjoy the respite from it ❤️ I needed that… I had not had a break in many years. I got to have a break ❤️
So anyway… we are back.
My girlfriend made a comment that … when lockdown first happened – everyone needed a break … oh stay at home and do nothing ? Sure ok – so not much resistance…
But after weeks of it – everyone is burnt out on lock down … they are wanting the socialization and being around people now…
This weekend is Memorial Day weekend … everyone having bbqs and parties and no one is social distancing !!! 😮😳
I’m good with staying on lockdown… I worry … all my heavy stuff going to all come back and then also… I worry I’m gonna die or catch and spread.
I don’t have the energy to fight for my life again. I want peace. And I don’t wanna be the cause of anyone dying or being sick.
So this sucks
Just complaining for a minute ✌️ I’m fine though 😘
I am really late tonight because we were helping that family – I have to be at work in the morning so I need sleep … I am never gonna hear my alarm 😮
Gnite ✌️
Learning Life 
So wish you could find peace. A place where you are safe and relaxed. A place where you can just be you.You so deserve that. I never let photos of me go out. It’s a private choice. Look after yourself. Sending you a big hug. Take care.
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Thanks… I have peace – that’s why I moved to the country – “to get away”
I had too much so I did that. I like the peace there. I feel safe and relaxed there for the most part.
And I’ll always be me, so I’m gonna do that anyway lol ✌️ there are some things you can’t take away 😉
It just bothers me with the photo… I’m really private and that causes problems and also… I’m protective so I wanna know who has my photo? Ya know? I don’t just want anyone I don’t know having that lol (kinda dumb, but whatever, like you say personal choice) also… I haven’t been seen in awhile… long time actually… so I haven’t come back yet. When I come back … it’s gonna be alot- so I just don’t do that lol ✌️
I am really liking having a mask 😷… you just see my eyes. I like that alot!!!
For your eyes only 😄… that reminds me of Chariots of Fire 😄✌️
Thank you for your words, take care also 🥰
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Sorry you’re living in a #MeToo nightmare.
If the photo was on fb, there is a privacy setting that prevents people from tagging you. I think there’s also one to prevent having your account link in posts but I’m not certain of that.
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Well… sad that there is such a problem with that there is a hashtag for it. But whatever – #strong 😘✌️
I haven’t opened my Facebook in about a year – I don’t touch it. It’s too much – and everyone wants to know what is up with me and they want photos … I’m not ready for any of it.
And because of what I go through with my ex – I want no info about me anywhere ✌️
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I only use my social name of fb but even then I have all info hidden and everything possible blocked. I found a clumsy app that uses the fb activity log to remove you from fb history… posts, pics comments… everything!! I manually deleted most of my posts and pics, and periodically run that app to delete my comments on other people’s pages. But as I said, it’s clumsy… slow and usually misses a lot.
Re MeToo… I tell the story of a lunchroom full of women swapping stories about sexual assaults. A guy came in, listened for a bit, and said, “are you telling me my daughter will have to deal with this?” I pointed out that EVERY woman in the room had at least one story, most of us had more, and yes his daughter would too.
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Yeah I just stay away from Facebook all together. I don’t mind what’s already there – that’s fine… but I don’t want my ex having any info – he stalks …
And Facebook was just too much for me… it’s too stressful. I like the peace without it.
Re: #metoo… yeah just how men are
I have many stories
I don’t mind joking around, i have some guy friends where we joke dirty – but they have never made me feel uncomfortable or bad or anything – they are just friends and we just joke like 5th graders with stuff
That being said – I did have to report some guy once for sexual misconduct …
I was working at golf course – which you get a lot of that anyway in the job I had… but my cart had to go in for Maintenence … so I had to give the guy my phone number so he could call me when was ready to pick up …
That went fine… but then a day or two later he sent me a dirty message and a dick pick 🤨😠
So I went right to my boss – handed him my phone and showed him the messages… I said “handle this, cause I’m not dealing with it”
The guy was fired. As well he should have been… I was not the first he had done that too! 😮
I’ve been dealing with it since I was 11. So yeah, my daughter will also go through this ☹️
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I was attacked and pinned in place by an after hours office cleaner… but, thankfully, not raped. My company was the property mgrs. Nothing was done or even said to the guy. I was told not to work after hours.
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No one has ever pinned me – cause that would be a knee to the groin with a nice big scream! 😠 that would be all bad !
😮 did ever happen again? Or you just didn’t work after hours anymore?
When I was 18… I worked in a Deli… I had just started – my manager was 35… I was afraid of the slicer…
He say to me… don’t be afraid it has a “safety”, it won’t cut you.
Oh well ok then… and the very first moment I used the slicer – I somehow cut the tip of my ring finger almost off – blood everywhere
He scooped me up before I had a chance to react – gave me a wrap for the finger and literally carried me all the way to his car lol- it was my finger not my legs … but I was stunned
Once at the hosp, I check in, sat and waited for stitches… he sat with me…
He said something – I turned and he kissed me 😳😮 then asked if I wanted to go on a date sometime
Umm dude my finger is bleeding profusely, and barely hanging on – And plus he was 35 – I was 18… that answer was a big no!
I have had managers who were touchy and would smack my ass 😠… or brush up against, etc
Ya know – the struggle is real 🤨 hence my mistrust of men ✌️
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I didn’t work late at t hff at job anymore. And highly resented the female coworker who claimed to have saved me. I don’t know what the hell she was thinking of but the only thing that saved me was that guy deciding not to go further. I was young and too shocked to react before I was unable to move. I debated pulling a hammer out of my desk but worried he’d take it from me – also, he wasn’t violent and I didn’t want to be the one to take it too that level.
I was attacked & released one other time but have conveniently blocked the details.
I was raped by an ex’s younger brother when I was blackout drunk. I remember knowing I’d had far too much to drink and trying, but failing, to make myself throw up. I later learned that I told several people, “don’t leave me, xxx is going to rape me”, but everyone left me anyway.
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😮😮😮 I am soooo sorry you went through that!! I have never been raped by a stranger…
My ex raped me once… was one time we had a fight over something… and then he wanted sex – uhhh no! Not when you be an asshole…
But that didn’t matter to him… I was his wife – his property so he took what was his?
You don’t have to say sorry to me on that though – it was surreal… and if it wasn’t for that moment … my daughter wouldn’t be here. I will never tell her that. She will never know. None of them will… I will never share that with them.
Is what is.
I would never leave a friend… my friends and I have this pact thing… we don’t leave without the others period. Someone always with you.
I haven’t gone out like that in a long time though… maybe once a year they get me to come out – I’m just more into my kids.
I’m sorry you experienced such bullshit and horrible memories.
It’s definitely a thing!! I can’t even go anywhere without guys being all over me instantly!! I literally run from it… I just wanna do my stuff and not be hassled.
Not once can I just go out in peace
I don’t go out with my friends because if I do, I just get hit on all the time and that’s not fun!!
I have loved the isolation and being able to not be hit on… it was a nice break. ✌️
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My rape was long ago and I always processed it as, “sometimes bad things happen.” Nothing more.
I frequented a really wild club for years because everyone respected each other’s limits and and unwritten rule that what happens inside stops at the door. Also, they had GREAT staff, a wonderful door guard, and $5 valet at the door… so you could dress provocatively and not worry about walking to your car. I never had an iota of trouble (even the time I walked around in my underwear… cause I still had on more than others). I also never felt fat, old, or unattractive. I miss that place!
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I will dress however I want… I wear the shorty shorts and half shirts or tank tops … I wanna feel good for myself – I like my body.
Like art – you look – you don’t touch!
The outfits at the golf course were insane awesome!! I was even allowed to work in a bikini …
But again we in California with temps that go over 100… they are lucky (or unlucky depending how see it) that I have clothes on!!! The hotter it is – the less I wear.
I will be damned if someone gonna control me there. And I have every right to wear what makes me feel good – that does not give anyone else the right to judge or anything else – I am not bothering them – don’t bother me.
Plus I also have that added option of going topless like we talked about already 😄😄 I brought that up today here with my friend and her husband 😄😄
And he says …”Trisha do you really want more attention”? Lol we laughed – he has seen how goes before … so yeah that’s a big fat no … Oh my god! But a funny thought
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lol!!
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