Alright so today has to be the store! I just canโt push anymore. Dang!! Really not looking forward to this!! ๐คจ
But ok… gonna suck it up and just do it. I literally have to force myself. You know itโs gonna suck, but you also know you have to ๐คจ … I donโt like those choices!!!
Bleh…
Saw my friend briefly this morning…
How do you get mad? Do you have a temper? Do you explode?
I donโt like anger … totally shy away from it … yeah Iโll be over here lol โ๏ธ I go massive silent and get away from the situation… I am good on the anger aspect!
Sometimes if I watch the news or whatever – I get mad at things lol… just upsets me mostly… so I stay away cause I donโt like that feeling either. Avoidance – itโs a thing โ๏ธ
But anyway… if someone in my life makes me mad… I have 2 methods of operation…
First method lol… I will get snippy lol… really sarcastic lol…
Second method… I just go silent. Iโll deal with when we are both cooled down… will have to be dealt with or I just stay quiet
I bring that up cause my new friend is similar? She is upset with a family member … and she is snippy and sarcastic with the whole thing – itโs funny cause is almost like watching myself in a mirror ๐โ๏ธ … so โthatโsโ what itโs like? Lol … but I can relate and sheโs hurt. I was just noticing how she gets angry. Thatโs a thing I notice.
I can handle how she does anger, cause I do the same thing. how weird.
Iโm just watching her little quirks… I have mine – I just want to see what hers are. So far so good lol โ๏ธ
Last night while I was trying to fall asleep, my daughter is on the phone with her friends ๐คจ talking really loud and laughing lol… umm old lady trying to sleep over here lol … I had to go out and tell her to quiet down a little lol … is late!
But she talking loud so… Iโm gonna listen ๐โ๏ธ Iโm the mom – this is free info lol
So they talking about some stuff I was like โ๐ฎ๐คจ must remember for morning discussionsโ lol …
She has like this group of 12-15 people … they are all really close… they are a happy bunch, always laughing… boys and girls … I really like her friends – she picked really good ones โค๏ธ they will be her โlifelongโ
Anyway… then they started talking about what high school they gonna go to and planning out the next few years… actually planning it out…
It kinda made me laugh a little because it was cute … sheโs aiming and planning… which is good… I just want her to be careful cause plans change.
But for the most part it was adorable!! ๐ฅฐ … her and her friends really love and adore each other โค๏ธ
Then I was also thinking – oh boy here comes high school … not this coming year… but she will start high school in 2021. ๐ฎ
Oh boy… am I ready? This is my baby AND a girl!!! The boys were really mellow and easy… the girl is little dramatic with things, is sentimental and emotional… also extremely strong willed. ๐ฎ
I have never experienced raising a girl through high school before ๐ณ … I know boys and I remember me ๐ณ๐โ๏ธ
I was also strong willed. Oh boy… sheโs gonna be like me ๐ฎ … so had that thought lol … oh dear lord!
Itโs weird … sheโs my baby… my last one โน๏ธ… I tell them to stay little and stay with me, I joke about that all the time … but they grow up anyway. I am proud to watch them become who they are meant to be and how they fly…
But sheโs my baby… so I watch her grow up and sound so adult and sheโs getting to that age where she just knows everything… I know nothing ๐๐คจ… sheโs so cool, and I am embarrassing lol
I do slightly find the embarrassing part … kind of entertaining lol โ๏ธ
All her friends think I am funny and beautiful… but to her I am her embarrassing mom lol … oh daughters ๐๐ …
And yes I have called my mom and said โI am sooo sorryโ lol โ๏ธ
Alright so… teenage years ๐ณ ok canโt be that bad – I did two boys already… how hard can a girl be? Lol ๐ณ
I both hate and love that they grow up. I hate to lose them, but I love to watch them grow. Hope I teach her right… I hope she hears my words ๐โค๏ธ
Learning Life 
greatโฆ
how are you ?
how old you are ?
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I wish I could remain small ๐ It was like yesterday I was in my teenage year. I thought my mom wad embarrassing too.
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lol … yeah my mom was also embarrassing lol … why is that??
I know – I miss that too
As well as, wanting to keep my own – young lol
I do need time to go in a bottle!!!
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It’s rare to recognize that anger stems from hurt.
I shut down and avoid my anger cause expressing it was pretty much forbidden in my family. It’s not good cause when it finally bursts out I’m like a volcano of anger! And, often, it’s impossible for me to ever get along with the source-person again.
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Yeah well I know she was really hurt… and then because she was hurt it kinda made her angry? Defensive? Protective?
My mom didnโt really ever show anger? My dad yelled
My brother gets mad… he will call me swearing up a storm about my sister – those 2 are like oil and water lol
Iโm pretty mellow… I will turn into a mother bear if anyone tries to hurt my children lol… then Iโm scary… but mostly Iโm pretty chill, the friends I keep come to me right away if they have any issues with anything… so we handle right away… I am free to speak the same with them… I swear in the car sometimes. โ๏ธ
I went through domestic abuse so I just am really careful and observant with anger. I am uncomfortable with it.
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I’ll express my anger here or to a friend, but rarely to whoever upset me. Unless it’s road rage – then look out!!
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Lol road rage – I have that – hence the swearing while driving lol
How do you fix things if you donโt tell them?
That guy I used to take care of is like that … he doesnโt want to hurt anyoneโs feelings by saying heโs angry… so he bottles it until there is big blow out… usually with him and one of his sisters … he will make up with them but then still harbors that anger – he does not forget lol
Heโs never been mad at me thank goodness … but even when he is mad at them, he is not scary lol… he is a nice mad – or maybe he just is that way around me? I donโt know? ๐
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I don’t fix things. I either get over it or never get along with them again. Thus why I chose to stop making and having “friends”.
I don’t mind hurting feelings and am very direct most of the time. But if things get to true hurt and/or anger I don’t have any skills for resolving my feelings.
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I can understand that…
I have a similarity ?? Mine is not with anger – it is with hurt… if am hurt so severely that I can โfeelโ it deeply – if my heart bleeds from the inside …Iโm done. Iโm not willing to have hurt like that in my life. So I donโt keep that.
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