Did not see coming…

I am quiet today.

I had a uh-oh moment … sorta…

When we all got quarantined – after a few weeks people be stepping outside…

That’s when I started to get to know the neighbor. I like her…

It’s just… I kinda withdrew? I have close friends – just no one new AND right here.

I only keep a few really close to me… I am guarded with everyone men or women… women I am more relaxed with cause they are not trying to date me usually!!! I don’t have to worry about that part with women, so it’s a little easier to drop guards with women.

Anyway… I’ve been keeping a slight distance … besides socially distancing … I help her with her yard – she helps me…

She is fricken hilarious – Oh my god! Totally get her!!! She’s sweet and thoughtful… beautiful human being.

I keep a small distance because if I am being honest? I haven’t really un-withdrew yet… I came out here to the country last July right after my surgery… I had to get away… so I found my peace here? There is was no noise…

No abuse, no doctors, no hospitals, no deaths, no surgery, it just all went silent. Like a Big Bang and then silence?

I find my peace out here, and I am safe and I have privacy.. I haven’t come back at all. I have my really close friends and they are my family.

But I’m afraid if we get too close I’m gonna lose my peace??

Does that matter ? Am I ok with that?

I really like her… ALOT!! As a friend… I like her…

We just really started knowing each other… I thought I would keep my distance to preserve my peace … so I was just cautious …

But every day I see her… I like her more and more and think uh-oh 😳

We laugh so much, and she gets my jokes and is quick witted with a come back lol… which is amazing – she has impeccable timing with that… she is completely delightful… I smile when I see her!! Really big

And then tonight on our walk… Oh my god! We were speaking in unison 😮… we thought of the same thing, at the same time and said the same words without even skipping a beat 😮

Oh no!! I click really well with her – I feel at ease… I’m not totally at ease trusting totally just yet … I think she’s good

But wow 😮

And then someone close to her recently hurt her (not a man – was a family member) she was hurt a lot and still is …

She was telling me that this family member is so mean to people who do things for them … which I have seen… her family are also neighbors…

She just went on talking about the whole situation (which is really hurtful) and how she felt and then said “I don’t want to hurt people like that”

The way she said it was so sincere – I know she doesn’t … she’s very sweet.

So we have the same humor, we are speaking in unison 🤨, we are both kind and thoughtful and click.

So alright … I can sacrifice peace for that. Or I’m willing slowly lol ✌️ ease into it lol

Yeah ease into it. That sounds better

I like her – and I like having a friend while isolated. I do think she be a good friend after isolation too.

I just need slow because we both have a level of excitement with things. Did I just find my clone?

But yeah… I also still like my peace and privacy…I am very protective with my privacy… which is part of my peace lol

I just don’t want best friend level… I need slow for that one – she is really similar to me 😮

Comin in fast!!

Sometimes there are people who go really fast with me when we click. She is a fast one

That is our difference … she is fast …I am slow… I’m a little weird with my withdrawing thing – just private. Like the peace.

She’s aware. She knows what I went through and she knows I isolated. So I can just be at ease a little with that…

I am someone people feel at ease with instantly and I can click easily with people. Fast

Keep in mind… as a child … I was constantly moving … I was always always always the new girl… I had to learn how to fit in really fast… over and over

So I can click with people really fast … so I’m just cautious.

She is a good person… it’s not that… with that I welcome her with open arms …

I just don’t wanna over do it too fast… slllloooooowwww … I need slow

I don’t wanna get all over excited and then she’s like me, so that’s like dynamite…

That could get close real fast… yes I am afraid of that. I just need slow

Too fast and I’ll pull back, I’ll need the isolation? The peace? I will always speak my peace – but I will pull back if too fast – it’s new … I haven’t stopped being withdrawn?

So just being careful. Don’t really let people come close in my life if they are not already there.

She is still new to me. This is a new thing. I haven’t let down my guard with a new person in a long time. Very long time …

Ok so, we just go slow. And I have a new good friend 💕

I just didn’t expect corona was gonna bring me some amazing person… I did not see that coming!! 😮