So nope

Umm… ok… ya know … this happened 😮…

Country boy came over 😮 Oh my god! Ok umm … what to do?? Ok I will talk to him distantly-ish… so I went outside – we kept distance – he told me to follow him … he took his truck and I followed him in my car – we went there to sit and talk … we kept distance – he wanted a hug but not good idea. I don’t know how careful he is. Sorry I wanted to…

He takes me places and it’s just is perfect always… just peaceful … breathtaking! he stuns me with the beauty of places he’s always taken me… he blows me away with that every time … the temp was perfect too was just starting to be end of day.

He even wore a Boston Red Sox hat because he knows they are my favorite ❤️ he is not Red Sox – that was for me ❤️ he wanted my smile … he did get that

He is really sweet, and he’s hot and all that …

I do feel electric around him? But no… it’s not him – he’s not the one

We just don’t understand each other… and we think 2 different ways … drastically different ways!!!

Also – I want something …

I don’t wanna tell you what that something is… I dunno. That’s private for me… I’ll know….

Ugh … he can’t and doesn’t want what I want/ I don’t want what he wants and that’s the bottom line – that’s not gonna change – I’m not willing to settle.

I miss him, I enjoy him… he can be my friend I suppose. He brings me peace. I feel at peace with him … kind of …

There is a certain kind of peace with him… but I can’t get over wanting what I want – so I am sure

So ya know … those things are important … we don’t see the same – he can’t give me what I want (it is NOT money)

I don’t want to sacrifice what I want. It’s very important to me.

I don’t want to fall in love with him to be broken hearted because he can’t give me that … nope – I’m good.

I have an urge to walk away from him … noooo don’t do that – can be friends… I dunno.

I don’t want to ever try to change him either – so I just feel like it’s never gonna match up …

So ok – we can do friends… I just want a distance? We really do not understand each other – at all. We see completely different

There’s no way. There’s just not. Ok so… no on country boy …

Just FYI … I can’t handle the cop either, I really like him as a friend but he comes at me very suave? Too smooth too fast…

And I need kind of slow… and I want something …

I don’t know what song to use? Drawing a blank?

So anyway no and no.

You can say whatever you want – feel free

I think I know what’s right for me… so I’m gonna go with that.

Yeah I want it that way – sorry here’s my song…

www.youtube.com/watch

It has to be right – I’m not settling

I’m not gonna go through emotion stuff with someone I know it will never work… I’m not doing that. He’s not the one – I just know. I would love him to be – but he isn’t

I just like my peace right now… if I never find what I want then whatever … I know there is never totally perfect I don’t expect that… I have no expectations – I just know what I want and what I need

I also don’t want to be like this with everyone 🤨…

www.youtube.com/watch

I dunno?

Well anyway… I’m gonna try to read for little while but I’m tired 🤨 I got a lot of sun ☀️ …

I dont think I can do anymore sun for a minute …

And then I have a social distance friend … that’s really nice.

Anyway whatever now I’m babbling … I don’t wanna think anymore … Gnite ✌️