Hitting home

I haven’t left yet… still dragging my feet.

Then one of my girlfriends texted me… I thought was just going to be the usual conversations … but it was not

I talked to her at the end of last week, and she was telling me a house 3 houses away from her had a “gathering” 😮 but she didn’t know why and was shocked they would have people over.

Not smart… but she text me today with what happened.

She said 36 year old woman, a hospital administrator, mother of a little girl… passed away in her sleep… she just stopped breathing.

I asked if it was corona? But my girlfriend didn’t know.

They had that gathering because there are no funeral services or things happening at this time – so they did it themselves. 😮 oh wow

She is not sure if will come through my funeral home – but gave me the name.

I’m a little ?? I dunno? Off now

Ok… relax it’s fine … I still have to go to the store. I’m suiting up, I’ll have a mask and my make shift hazmat fashion wear. Whew but I feel very uneasy.

Ok it will be fine – I am just pep talking myself – because I don’t know it will be fine!! Bleh

We don’t know was corona but sounds like it… she stopped breathing … but it could totally be something else ? But my mind is screaming “corona”

Oh boy!! I feel fear today – bleh!!!!

I wanna say I’ll be fine, what’s the worst that could happen… but I could die!!! That’s what could happen!!! I don’t wanna die

Trying really hard to be level headed with this but I’m just scared. I don’t wanna die and I don’t wanna fight for my life … again!! I already did the breast cancer – not doing this!! I don’t think I would survive it if I ever caught it… I watched a medical person explain what it does. I try to stay isolated and positive though. I want it to be ok.

But then also… events in my life that happened, both the good and the bad… were kind of meant to happen? And life works that way …

So ya know, if it’s my time then I suppose it was meant to be.

I just don’t like that fear because I love life – I am not ready to risk losing it.

I don’t wanna go out!!

I have to relax so I can think more clearly and level headed. That’s not working right now

I keep wanting to say “it will be fine, you are gonna be fine” … but I don’t know that.

This is why I stay away from most of the news, and just isolate and do my thing… otherwise I get freaked out…

Can they seriously just airdrop me some supplies??

Ok well… I really don’t have a choice. Damned if I do, and damned if I don’t 🤨

Stupid Coronavirus 😠😢

10 thoughts on “Hitting home”

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  1. Did she have severe breathing issues first? Corona tends to kill via pneumonia or similar severe lung infection. “Just stopped breathing” sounds likely to be something else. Possibly related but also strong possibility it was not. Still… STUPID to gather like that!!!

    My rescheduled pelvic ultrasound is tomorrow. I also need to drop a return pkg at a post office and may try to buy some more food while out (why am I eating so much bread??)… I haven’t decided yet.

    Sending you good health juju.

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    1. She was sick… but I don’t know details of that part currently.

      I understand people need to grieve their losses – but a gathering right now is sooo dangerous!!! Even if meant in a compassionate way – don’t do it!! Skype or something!!!

      Are they still gonna do the ultrasound? They haven’t called to cancel? Do you have a mask? Or a bandana? You be really careful… you are entering a medical facility! Bring your hand sanitizer – remember not to touch your face!!

      Be fast at the post office. Do you have to do that?

      Well bread 🥯 🍞 carbs are filling. If you need stuff grab it while you out… just be careful. Get what you need when you can.

      Sending you good health juju too!! 🙏🙏🙏

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      1. Appt is, so far, still on for tomorrow. The facility was being super safe before it was required, has no go, no walkins, and no urgent care so I feel safe going there. I have face masks but they were providing them 3 wks ago.
        I have to do the PO return too or lose $60 on a crap product. But I should be able to simply put it in a drop bin, I think. I preferred Amazon returns at UPS but QVC is PO only.

        I’ve become awesome at no longer touching my face. But not touching my mask, when it moves or gets steamy, is really difficult!!

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      2. Ok well you be careful… I’m glad you feel safe with them.

        Lol… are you returning the crappy web cam you didn’t like? Lol

        Same! I also have gotten awesome not touching face… but mask IS hard when slides – steamy I can deal with… my thing is itchy lol

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      5. My only other, ever, drunk purchase… years ago .. was a case of little milk cartons of candy coated chocolates. They were a great price but enough to last me 20yrs. I gave them to a neighbor to take to her kid’s class.

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      6. Lol… enough to last 20 yrs 😄😄 that’s funny

        That was really nice of you to let that kid share with the class, also good way to unload 😄😄

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