Sorry 😩

I am sorry that I am busy with things more than usual. I miss you all very much! … week in March whole world – please 🙏

Not that MY job allows down time during a pandemic but let’s aim for that – all together again? 🙏

https://youtu.be/FGBhQbmPwH8?si=jH1UGGyatzOFgfLC

https://youtu.be/L7IP4UlXvG8?si=iDD5CLP3yfA3Llm4

We should all do that … cause I think everyone needs some mental health and to remember what we all went through and how once we were all together 🙏

Took a worldwide pandemic to bring everyone together in unison for one moment 😮

One week that’s all (but every year lol ✌️) I would like that – to have that again – I loved that ❤️ even if was a dumb pandemic that leaders didn’t know how to handle, and caused a lot of death ☹️… but we should remember the moments and commemorate those who died – never forgotten

March – remember that ✌️ I miss you! I wish that could be a world wide thing!

Anyway…

So… new guy 😮

Whoa 🤯

He bring me wine and flowers today … not that you have to bring me anything … but he just does – was thoughtful

Then we talked … I am upfront completely with what he dealing with …

I do have undiagnosed PTSD from things – and careful …because even happy things can make me cry from the emotions of it… so ya know

You will need to step very slowly with coming close – one false move ✌️ no pressure lol

I can only speak very little bits of what happened – otherwise I cry … I kind of just leave that behind me and just handle survival

But he wants to fix that 😮

He says things that do make me tear up 💧… I hide most of the time – because no … not bad things but if ask me about certain things then I do

But earlier he made comment on how I am planner and should just let go and let life come

Yeah well … I plan for reasons

I try to say those reasons – but it is those reasons that make me cry …so … I can’t say

He hugged me and then asked me a question – but when I am teary 🥲 … you can NOT ask me a question lol 😮

I had to hold up 1 finger – give me a moment to collect self and not cry lol … don’t speak to me until I am ok lol 😘✌️ … I can not speak or that will open flood gates lol … do not open flood gates lol

I also tell him I worry because I have medical issues – so what if that is a thing? And then ya know ? Do I want to subject someone to that?

But he tell me a story about his stepfather and how he and his mom cared for him, and made sure he was ok – and loved

He said I am a planner but I plan for negative 😮😮

I didn’t think of it like that til he said that – but again there are reasons so that’s just the way it is

And yes I will plan for negative or bad things because then I can be better equipped to handle, is better for when life hits.

And then he said you are a sensual person aren’t you? Lol … maybe lol … I’m not gonna give away all my secrets when I am still learning lol

I am sensual but in all areas – not just speaking sexual – but yes I am a senses person … senses stimuli lol – yes lol 🤫 – all five 😄

So I dunno – little crazy cause I think I hide that well lol ✌️ but maybe I don’t ??? … you are not supposed to notice that lol

I don’t know how I be in this area – this is not a normal thing for me.

At first after everything – I wanted to have someone because I am not a type to be by myself …

But then – I don’t want to date because I never want a satan again – and then I have friends who date and I don’t like to know how people are with that – but they tell me and then I don’t want to date lol – I am not that type

And I don’t trust, and most guys just either want arm candy or to get in my pants – so that’s a no

I am from 100 years ago so 🤷‍♀️

I think that is a draw for him ? I am as different as he is – but I am also cautious because people like to think that I am challenge 🫤

He is just as observant as “I” am 😮😮 you are not supposed to observe “ME” lol … I observe “YOU” lol

But again … I’m still cautious … he speaks the right words and does the right actions … but we see

Oh and another thing he said was … he asked me if I have ever had a moment with someone that I knew they supposed to be in life but didn’t know how ??

I experienced that ONE time … when I met satan there was a ripple of something – I didn’t know what? I should have paid attention but I didn’t and ignored and here we are – I didn’t know was good or bad

Now I do 😳😮

But that was the only time

He said when he met me years ago – I gave him that ripple of somehow supposed to be in life but didn’t know how 😮

I’m not evil so 🤷‍♀️

Anyway… he asked to use my bathroom and I said it was broken but yes go ahead – I have to fix the inside plug thing

I had the part on the counter in the bathroom – and he just helped me fix it 😮 ok bonus points on that cause would have taken me long time lol

It took him few minutes and now it’s fixed 😊👏 I don’t have to do that 😊❤️

That was sweet and kind. Rackin up the bonus points lol

I am still guarded … because I do not have sure footing in this area – so I do not know … has not been alot of time and I am still learning who is

But there is one area, that when he speaks in regards to it – I feel a little less nervous – his words put me at ease in this area

Bingo that the area I watch severely 😮

But again as always – we see

He asked me out to a work dinner on Sept 30 – I said yes … so I will get to see his world and more of who he is.

Yes this is a big deal to me so we see

https://youtu.be/Io0fBr1XBUA?si=-JS0m2jz6UwyDMfW

So we will see

(This is from last night but I fall asleep writing so here is now lol) forever tired 🥱 😩

Ok here comes Monday – but was quiet weekend so will be week we can catch up hopefully

I am hoping for a peaceful Monday – but those words don’t really match what Monday EVER is lol

https://youtu.be/SsmVgoXDq2w?si=zbMYWKONAzE4ygun

Ok Monday – whatcha got? Here we go – ready? 😳