Alright so … a person has been texting me… I am just stand offish… I didn’t respond for a while because I needed to think about my response.
On one hand … I want my peace and life protected. And I very strongly feel guarded on this one.
But then also… this person had compassion when I needed it too… so ok … I suppose I can do just friends – but I still need a distance.
He’s being very careful with how he messages and approaches … I heard from him on Monday – and just kinda left it …
Because what am I supposed to say? And he’s bored with the virus? So… what am I supposed to do? Me also.
Plus I don’t believe him. I don’t believe the words he says?
I know him to be kind and all that, sure …
But I dunno… he’s being gentle and sweet… kinda surprising me with how he’s being.
So I’m just cautious. Cause what do you want? What is motive? Is situation? What?
We in isolation and I guess that’s ok to be a friend… I just feel nervous with it and I’m a little apprehensive – I am so heavily guarded
He’s just being really careful with his words – sweet but careful … I can sense the caution.
Not sure what his angle is… so just gonna watch that.
I’m just surprised.
I’m not sure I want to be open to him in my life again – so having a hard time with that.
If it wasn’t for this current situation would be same ?
His timing sucks. And sorry not totally at ease with this either
Trying to be open-ish. That is really hard!! I just don’t trust now – he put that there so… ya know… is what is – I suppose
I don’t know if I want to be open or just close off ? I think that’s why he has caution cause… while he is making effort, I pull back.
If was normal time period then maybe I would accept better? But I don’t right now. And he hurt a lot
My girlfriend says … well maybe he just needs a friend right now through this, and he was there for you through things – just make sure he knows where you stand
She also said … life is gonna be painful always … so ya know is just how is…
Meh – don’t like that aspect… but I guess that is life.
So I’ve been thinking about her words … So I guess I can be a friend. I will try. I did tell him I’m not visiting or seeing anyone and not really interested in anything… am simply enjoying my peace and he’s being understanding and giving me space so I suppose it’s ok.
I just feel apprehensive.
Have to get over pain right? So I’m trying – not totally comfortable though – not at all.
Learning Life 
Why not ask him those questions?
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I did… I asked …why now? What’s the motive?
He said… he has been thinking about me and misses me… blah blah blah – words … we see – I don’t particularly totally trust those words because of the timing.
I can at the very least, be a friend right now, so whatever. Just still kinda apprehensive and guarded with this.
He meant a lot to me and he hurt a lot… but he’s being nice, he was always there for me – so I can do that… I’m just cautious. ✌️
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Yeah… cautious is smart. Esp if it’s the guy you mentioned before.
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Yup… it is… the one who I was able to speak freely with about stuff and helped me through a fear and all that stuff.
But we haven’t spoken for like 5 months – not one word – until now. So there is my caution.
But I can be a friend, if he needs one right now that’s fine. We see what happens
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I thought that about someone from my past but over the last month the old behaviors have returned and I’m DONE!! There’s no benefit to me tolerating their legit mental health issues. I’m walking away again.
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Yeah he was good to me through things and had been in my life for a while..
It was just… he’s a baseball player, and owns a couple businesses so ya know.
Travels a lot – never had a lot of time… and then that one day happened. That was it.
Now he contacts me?
So we see I be a friend – but I’m not gonna fall for anything.
Life will come back so… then he won’t be bored anymore so … I’m just careful
He is not a do nothing type… so he’s really bored
I be a friend but just watching how goes.
I don’t wanna go through what I went through before. That was hard and hurtful so we see – guarded though
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